Part 3: The Knight & The Lady of The Lake.
As she listened to the conversation during dinner Padmé reflected on how little she knew about the Republic. She had spent her whole life helping others, working first in the Refugee Movement, then as an Apprentice Legislator, centring her focus on education and ethics, relying that they would teach her about the Republic. She had experience in travelling to other systems, helping displaced people and others who did not have the bounty which Naboo had given her, but she had forgot the hardships faced by those on Outer Rim worlds.
As she listened to Anakin and his mother talk about the devices planted inside them, which would detonate if they ever ran away from their enslavers, Padmé was horrified by how little value their lives were held. On Naboo every life was precious, and children were the future. She could not understand the clear disregard of the Republic's antislavery laws.
But then the Trade Federation were doing the same to her world. The fragility of the Republic caused her to wonder if the Senate could do anything to help her people. She should have stayed with her people, but what could she have done to ensured that the invasion force was defeated? Fighting was beyond her people, just as she was sure it was beyond the Gungans who if Jar Jar was anything to go by, were just as incapable of fighting seasoned warriors such as the droids of the Trade Federation. No, she had to hope that tomorrow Obi-Wan would be able to use the Force and trade their Republican credits for currency with which he could buy the parts they needed, so they could continue their journey to Coruscant and she could appeal to the Senate, praying that they would be able to help her.
"Have you ever seen a Podrace?" Anakin asked them.
Padmé and Jar Jar shook their heads, the Gungan releasing his tongue to lasso a piece of fruit from a bowl towards his mouth.
"They have Podracing on Malastare," Obi-Wan revealed. "Very fast, very dangerous."
"I'm the only human who can do it," Anakin said, causing his mother to glance at him. "Mom, what? I'm not bragging. It's true. Watto says he's never heard of a human doing it."
"You must have Jedi reflexes if you race pods," Obi-Wan observed.
At that moment Jar Jar decided to grab another piece of fruit with his long tongue from the bowl on the table. His previous performance had been rude and noisy, causing the Padawan's next actions. Before the Gungan's tongue was barely past his mouth, Obi-Wan trapped the organ between his thumb and forefinger.
"Don't do that again," he warned, before letting go, causing it to snap back inside Jar Jar's mouth.
"You're a Jedi Knight, aren't you?" Anakin asked him then.
"What makes you think that?" Obi-wan inquired.
"I saw your lightsaber," Anakin answered. "Only Jedi carry that kind of weapon."
"Perhaps I killed a Jedi and stole it from him," Obi-Wan posed.
"I don't think so. No one can kill a Jedi Knight," Anakin stated with certainty.
Obi-Wan smiled sadly. "I wish that were so."
"I had a dream I was a Jedi," Anakin said. "I came back and freed all the slaves. Have you come to free us?"
"No, I'm afraid not," Obi-Wan replied.
"I think you have," Anakin argued. "Why else would you be here?"
Obi-Wan smiled, reflecting once more how perceptive and observant Anakin was, despite his youth. "I can see there's no fooling you. You must not let anyone know about us. We're on our way to Coruscant on a very important mission."
"How did you end up here?" Anakin asked.
"Our ship was damaged and we're stranded here until we can repair it," Padmé replied for the Jedi.
"I can help," Anakin offered. "I can fix anything!"
"I believe you can," Obi-Wan assured the boy, "but out first job is to acquire the parts we need."
"Wit no nutten mula to trade," Jar Jar mourned.
"These Junk dealers must have a weakness of some kind," Padmé murmured.
"Gambling," Shmi revealed. "Everything here revolves around betting on those awful races."
"I've built a racer!" Anakin added. "There's a big race tomorrow on Boonta Eve. You could enter my pod."
"Anakin, settle down," Shmi pleaded. "Watto won't let you."
"Watto doesn't know I've built it," Anakin pointed out. "You could make him think it's yours and you could get him to let me pilot it for you."
"I don't want you to race, Ani," Shmi pleaded. "It's awful. I die everytime Watto makes you do it."
"But, Mom, I love it," Anakin argued. "And they need help. The prize money would more than pay for the parts they need."
Obi-Wan shook his head. "Your mother is right. Is there anyone friendly to the Republic who might be able to help us?"
Shmi shook her head.
"We have to help them, Mom," Anakin persisted. "You said that the biggest problem in the universe is that no one helps each other."
"No," Obi-Wan uttered forcefully before the boy made his mother concede. "I don't want to put your son in danger. We'll find another way."
A silence settled over the dinner, as Padmé glanced at Anakin's disappointed face, his mother's relieved one, and Obi-Wan's who was deep in thought. She was glad he had refused. She did not want Anakin rising his life for her. It bothered her that so many people were risking their lives for her world already.
Obi-Wan's communicator beeped, causing him to excuse himself from the table and head outside to answer.
"Padawan," Qui-Gon greeted him with.
"Master, it's a relief to hear from you," Obi-Wan replied, just as Padmé placed herself on the threshold of the yard to listen again.
"How are things going so far?" Qui-Gon asked, causing Obi-Wan to give a full briefing which recapped everything that had occurred to them since their departure from the ship. He left out the purchasing of his gift to her, causing Padmé to smile and blush as she recalled the moment, her hand unconsciously clasping the necklace which rested upon her chest. She remembered how he had lingered in fastening the clasp, the touch of his fingers upon her skin, his warmth breath arousing something deep within her. If the sound of Jar Jar's predicament had not reached their senses, she wondered what would have occurred.
"Why did you refuse the boy's offer?" Qui-Gon queried when the briefing was concluded.
"It was too dangerous, Master," Obi-Wan replied. "I remember the racing on Malastare. There was an extremely high level of mortality amongst racers and spectators."
"Yes, but none of the racers had the Force, Padawan," Qui-Gon pointed out. "The boy has, and the Force meant us to help him."
Padmé frowned. How could Master Jinn be so certain Anakin had the Force when he had not even met him? His reliance on the judgement of his Padawan appeared to be paradoxical at best.
"Master, we cannot put the boy under such a risk," Obi-Wan said, causing Padmé to smile at his objection. "Nor can we rest the whole outcome of this mission on a podrace."
"You should have more faith in the Force, Padawan," Qui-Gon admonished. "Accept the boy's offer. And fetch a blood sample from him."
Obi-Wan bowed his head. "Yes, Master," he replied before ending the communication. He returned the device to his pocket, then looked up to meet Padmé's gaze. "I don't want to put the boy in any danger either, but my Master is in charge of this mission. Persuading minds is not a power Jedi should resort to in achieving their aims. Besides there is no other way."
Padmé shook her head. "I do not understand your Master. How can he trust your judgement concerning Anakin possessing the Force, but not the level of danger in him risking his life for us?"
Obi-Wan smiled a little. "Qui-Gon is a Master in the Living Force. The here and now. He also has a habit of using unorthodox methods during missions which frequently put him against the Jedi Council. But he is one of the best Masters I have even known. He also has a penchant for acquiring strays. That is how I became his Padawan."
Padmé frowned. "I thought you were raised by the Jedi."
"I was," Obi-Wan confirmed. "I was given to the Jedi when I was a few weeks old. I was placed in the crèche until I was old enough to begin my training under Master Yoda. We learn at the temple until our teens. Then a Master or Knight selects us as their Padawan and we train under them until out trials for knighthood.
"But there are those who are not selected, either because they are not strong enough in the Force, or a Master does not choose them. They are sent to serve in the Jedi Corps and never become knights. That was my fate, until Qui-Gon ran into me during a mission which I helped to succeed. He realised that he had misread my abilities and claimed me as his Padawan."
"He misread your abilities?" Padmé echoed. "You mean he saw you before?"
"Yes. I was competing in the lightsaber trials. My opponent already had a Master, everyone had except me. I was frantic to impress Qui-Gon so I was too aggressive in my methods. I won but Qui-Gon judged me too dangerous to train."
"So why did he take you later?" Padmé asked.
"Because he realised my strengths lay in the Unifying Force. The ability to see the big picture, to predict the future. He had trained under such a master who possessed the same ability. He knew how well they could compliment each other."
Padmé came closer to him. "I had no idea the Force was two sided."
"It is multifaceted," Obi-Wan gently corrected. "There were also those who have channelled their negative emotions into the power; as oppose to their more positive feelings. The Jedi seek to gain a greater understanding of the Force, never to control it for their own advantage. Those who try become Sith, corrupted and evil."
Padmé frowned. "How can emotions make you evil? They're part of us all, negative and positive. They're what make us human."
Obi-Wan took her hand. "Yes, but if you allow them too great a reign over your actions and reason, then they might blind you to the greater good. When coupled with the ability to use the Force, emotion can become a danger, if not controlled or let go. It can destroy those that we love as surely as it destroys ourselves."
"Those that you love?" Padmé echoed, curious. "I though the Jedi were not allowed to love."
"It is not commonly known," Obi-Wan revealed. "My Master fought for attachment to be extended over the whole Order only very recently. The old decision to deny it is only retained towards Padawan learners, because we have yet to gain the kind of training necessary to learn how to love, but not let that love become an obsession. To allow the person we love to grow, or to leave us, if it is beneficial to their welbeing. To care for someone, but not at the expense of the greater good."
"I am glad of that," Padmé murmured, as she tried to hide her blush as to why she was pleased to learn that the Jedi were allowed to love. "Because from the way I see you care for Master Qui-Gon, I do not think attachment was ever forbidden to your Order. After all, it teaches you to serve the greater good, to keep justice and peace within the galaxy. What use are such lessons without knowing what is like to live in the galaxy? If you truly had to forbid yourself from ever showing love or compassion, it would only teach you the reverse."
Obi-Wan nodded, reflecting once more how much he respected and admired this young woman before him, whom he had only come to know since their first meeting abroad the Nubian craft which carried them here. "Padmé, never doubt that your people were right in choosing you as their sovereign. For you have more sense of morals, justice and compassion than any one I have ever met who call themselves leaders of their worlds."
Padmé blushed at the praise, though she was pleased to receive it from him, for his opinion of her had rapidly become very important to her. She gazed back at him, meeting the steady glance of his blue eyes, which seemed to alter their colour oh so slightly with every expression he greeted the universe with. She wondered if it was a product of her affection for him, already deeper than it should be, or if it was because he was a Jedi. It provoked her into asking a question. "What is the Force like?"
He stayed silent for so long that she feared she had breached an intimacy between them that he would not permit. But before that fear could grow into a verbal retraction he began to speak. "No, you can ask. It is just difficult to explain in a proper depth to answer your question. The Force is as boundless as the ocean. It flows through the life of every being within the universe, from the smallest creature to the largest mountain. For those who possess the sensitivity, it can speak to them, tell them of things to come, or provide a glimpse into something one cannot yet understand. For the Jedi it guides us, allowing us to use it to help those in universe who need such assistance as we can provide."
"And for the Sith it is a tool to used as a mean to furthering their own cause," Padmé reasoned, smiling a little when she received his nod that her deduction was accurate. "But how can they not realise that this will ultimately cause their own destruction?"
"Mostly because they were never taught to do so," Obi-Wan replied. "The Sith have been extinct for a millennia though. Wiped out by their own inability to realise that their quest for power will destroy them just as you have said."
"What about those who have left the Order?" Padmé asked, recalling from her education of the rumours about such Jedi she had heard during her youth, rumours she was able to confirm when she joined the Apprentice Legislature. "How do they view the Force?"
"Most leave the order because they disagree with our methods in training," Obi-Wan explained. "Or because they feel that they cannot give up their familial obligations once they learn of their nature. But it is true that some left because they turned to the Dark Side, either to learn more of the power or to protect others from the harm such teachings inflict."
"But if they realise that harm how can they be of the dark?" Padmé asked. "Could someone not help them to find redemption or their way back?"
Obi-Wan shook his head. "I've never heard of anyone doing so. Nor do I believe it is possible. I have never experienced it myself, but the dark side is a threatening, malicious presence, one which will always have a power over you, if you ever allow it to do so."
Padmé frowned. "That sounds alien coming from an Order bound by compassion."
"It is one of the most difficult concepts about the Force," Obi-Wan replied. "I'm not sure how else I can explain it to without showing you."
"Showing me? Can you really show someone the Force?" Padmé asked, eagerly. Ever since her parents told her of the time she had taken the test offered by the Jedi and pronounced borderline, she had always wondered at what sort of life she would lead if the midi-chlorians inside her had been of the right amount for training.
"I'll try and show it to you," Obi-Wan replied. "If you'll trust me to enter your mind. I won't hurt you or invade your privacy."
"I trust you," Padmé assured him, the extent of how much she trusted him both frightening and exciting her.
"Close your eyes," Obi-Wan instructed.
Padmé obeyed. Darkness surrounded her, but she could still feel the touch of his hand, gentle and reassuring, a comfort, a light to take away any fear she might have held.
"Focus on a place where you have always felt safe," Obi-Wan continued. "You're alone, aware of only yourself, yet you can feel something surrounding you, calling to you. It is familiar, it is what you listen to when you are called to act. The voice, the feeling that tells you this is the right thing to do."
Listening to his voice, Padmé imagined her home world, not invaded by the droid army, but peaceful and free as it always was in her youth. In her mind she created a place from her memories, which she had visited during free hours of her youth; the Lake Country. Her family had a place there, one which she had spent her summers in, swimming or savouring what she knew, turning it over inside her head, examining it from all angles. Knowledge was precious to her, as precious as the need to help others, for she knew she could help them better the more she learned, yet she also knew the dangers of acquiring knowledge without a recognition for compassion, thought, logic, and reason. Every sunrise and sunset she would stand alone on the balcony outside her room, watching the horizon as it changed colour, and she would feel that awareness which Obi-Wan had told her of.
The place was unusually vivid, every shade sparkling with a depth of colour she had previously never noticed, yet somehow she knew instinctively that it belonged. Then she felt a touch upon her hand, the same touch which she felt in the real world, and as she recognised this familiarity she turned to find Obi-Wan beside her. He was clad in the same robes she would see upon him now if she opened her eyes, yet there seemed to be a light surrounding him, almost mingling with his form. She lowered her gaze to where their hands touched on the balcony ledge and was surprised to see the light encompassing her hand as well as his.
"That light you see is the Force," he said to her, his voice soft, but as audible as if he had spoken at a normal decibel. She could hear him speaking to her but she could also see him, for the image of him inside her mind moved his lips in sync. Then she realised that it was not just his image which she could see. She could feel him with her inside her mind. Not necessarily every thought or every feeling, but the sensation produced when he felt them, and the warmth she gained from his contact. Turning her mind's eye from that contact, she gazed out at the horizon, and saw the same light, surrounding everything, from the surf within the ocean which stretched out before them, to the sun as it descended slowly from view.
"It's beautiful," she murmured, the word feeling inadequate, for never had anything else which she had ever seen and ascribed that word to could even equal the sight that met her eyes at this moment. "This is what you see in your mind all the time?"
"Yes," He replied, the mental image of his gaze leaving her form to glance in the same direction as her, at the sunset. "See that storm on the outskirts?"
Padmé was about to deny it, for the sky seemed perfect to her, but then she caught the darkness in the clouds to the left of the setting sun, the white vapour twisting and greying before her. As her mind focused on the image, she watched the grey turn darker and darker, and bright lightning cracking it into shards. She could feel the storm advance, closing in on them, disturbing their peaceful intimacy. Like the darkness that the invading droid army was gradually inflicting on her world right now, she realised, the revelation chilling her.
"That is the dark side," Obi-Wan murmured, and suddenly she understood the power of it, the temptation. She could see how it could suck you in, like quicksand, never to return, the struggle only making it worse.
Just as the storm seemed to near them, and the sun disappeared behind the horizon, she saw the images slowly fading gradually from her consciousness. Without a prompt from Obi-Wan, she opened her eyes to find their hands still resting one on top of the other on the yard ledge. She looked up into his eyes, the blue grey irises darkening to a more pure azure, drawing her towards him. She closed her eyes, felt his breath upon her lips, then suddenly the moment was broken by another.
"Master Kenobi?" Shim Skywalker said as she stepped outside. Padmé opened her eyes to find Obi-Wan some distance from her, conveying the impression that they were not about to kiss just moments ago. She almost felt if she had imagined such an intention on his part.
"Please, call me Obi-Wan," he said to Shmi humbly. "I am no master, only a student of the Force."
"Obi-Wan," Shmi acknowledged. "I came to say that Anakin is right. There is no other way. I may not like it, but he can help you. He was meant to help you."
Obi-Wan nodded. "My Master agrees with you. Come, let us go tell Anakin the news."
Padmé watched them go, her mind still very much with the moments alone spent inside her mind in Obi-Wan's embrace. She had seen so many different sides of him since their first meeting as he jumped down from a covered bridge to rescue her. His decisive warrior qualities in dispatching part of the droid army. His compassion in dealing with R2D2, herself, Jar Jar and his master. The passion and joy within him as he showed her the Force. He was older than her, probably wiser than her, yet he treated her as an equal, respected her opinions, presented other viewpoints for her to consider, without the insistence to conform to them. He seemed to care deeply about the lives of others, as his reluctance to accept Anakin's offer showed. He appeared confident in his ability with the Force, but not to the point of arrogance, rather humility. There was a noble quality about him, a gentleness and gentility. He cared deeply for his Master, despite objecting over Anakin's risk in his offer to help.
Padmé recalled the moment when she saw him rush to Qui-Gon's side after sensing his collapse. She wondered once more what was wrong with the Jedi Master, who had to be suffering from something far more worse than possibly just fatigue. Yet the Jedi selected him for this mission, so he must still be able to perform his duties. Or they judged that Obi-Wan could easily fulfil them if Qui-Gon fell ill. Padmé wondered how long he had until his knighthood. She was sure it could not be long, for he appeared to her to be the equal of his Master already, if not superior in some aspects. As a Queen she tried to remain neutral, impartial, but despite telling herself not to judge Qui-Gon harshly, Padmé could not help but feel a little dislike for the Master because of his attitude to Obi-Wan, Anakin and Shmi. His illness could affect his behaviour, she told herself. She might see a different side to him when they returned to the ship.
For the first time since their departure into Mos Espa, Padmé allowed herself to think of her home world. She could not escape feeling that leaving to appeal to the Senate was an act of cowardice. That she had betrayed her people by leaving them to the mercy of the droid army and the Trade Federation. She wondered about the darker conspiracy which Qui-Gon had alluded to. Was it merely a ploy to persuade her to go with them?
Despite this suspicion she also felt that there was more behind the blockade, and the invasion of Naboo. Her brief encounters with the Neimoidians left her with the impression that they were merely a facade, hiding the real face of whoever it was behind this scheme. Their protest about the tax on trade routes did not justify invasion, they had to have a deeper motive. Whatever it was, Padmé believed they would find the answers on Coruscant.
She sighed. She had always wanted to travel to the Core world, but this was not the reason she had in mind to use. Before her decision to run for Queen, she had worked towards becoming a Senator. The only reason she had not entered herself against the current incumbent was her belief that she was too young. A part of her laughed at the irony; too young for the Senate, not for the throne. This mission was teaching her many things; foremost that she had a lot more to learn.
Padmé returned to the rooms of the small dwelling, her gaze coming to rest on Obi-Wan and Anakin, as the young knight to be listened attentively to the boy as he described pod racing. Though she could not hear the words she could read their lips and discern the nature of the conversation from Anakin's expressive and rapid hand movements.
Eventually it was the Padawan's turn to describe something as Padmé noticed Anakin fall into an eager silence, waiting. A gasp escaped her as an object from the table floated in midair, travelling smoothly to hover above the boy's opened hand. She had seem him levitate his Master, seen him place said Master in a healing trance, seen the Force through his eyes, but it was still a little wondrous to watch. She saw Obi-Wan talk with Anakin seriously, kneeling before the boy so he was on a level footing with him, respecting his views, as he took the oval ball out of the air and rested it in the palm of his hand. She watched Anakin close his eyes, then suddenly the object floated again, hovering above the Padawan's hand. Anakin opened his eyes and gasped at his new found ability.
When Shmi emerged from her room with space blankets and bedding for them, the object was back under Obi-Wan's control, floating to its home on the table. Anakin was blinking sleepily, the trick tiring him out, whereas Obi-Wan had not even broken into a sweat. Padmé watched him usher the sleepy youth to bed, as she realised the strength of her interest in him, She knew now why her thoughts concerning the suffering of her world were seemingly so easily distracted. But she also knew that she should savour these moments for once they returned to the ship, there was less chance she would see him again. Their duties would part them on Coruscant and when the blockade and invasion of her planet ended. Such separation should have caused her to protect her heart, but she was already in too deep for that.
She loved Obi-Wan Kenobi.