Part 5: In The Company of Allies.
An eerie dawn settled as Obi-Wan arrived at the ship, the memory of Padmé's brief kiss enough to sustain his feelings throughout the lonely journey. The confirmation that they both felt the same was incredible, but it didn't change the nature of their relationship. He was still a Padawan, she was still so young and a Queen. Their feelings would have to wait.
He used the Force to lower the under carriage and entered the ship, raising it once he was inside. He turned in the direction of the cockpit, intending to check in with the pilots and the security, but he was prevented by the dark orange yellow wash dress before him. He raised his eyes to the head, a little chilled to see the resemblance to Padmé and how already he could tell the difference just from her face.
"The Queen wishes to speak with you immediately," she said.
"Perhaps you best hand me a comlink code then," Obi-Wan said with a small smile, "else I have a long walk ahead of me."
She gasped, then returned the smile, chuckling a little. "Did she tell you, or did you guess?"
"Both, in a way," Obi-Wan replied.
"How is she?" Her handmaiden asked.
"Resolute, troubled," Obi-Wan answered. "Beautiful, intelligent, brave," he added, causing her to smile. "Stubborn, thoughtful. Shall I go on?"
The handmaiden shook her head and laughed. "That's Padmé. Milady is rarely content to let others risk their lives for her." She paused to offer her hand. "I am Eirtaé. Sabé and the others would like to hear what has happened so far, Master Kenobi."
Obi-Wan took her hand and bowed. "Pleased to meet you, Eirtaé. I would be happy to tell you as much as I can. And it's just Obi-Wan or Padawan Kenobi. I'm not a Master yet. Only a student and servant of the Force."
Eirtaé nodded, blushed at his charming manners, then led him to the quarters of the Queen and the Handmaidens.
"How long have you been her handmaiden?" He asked as they walked down the ship's corridor.
"Since she was elected," Eirtaé replied. "We were chosen because of our resemblance to her. But we are trained and when a Queen ends her term we remain in our office unless she seeks another where we can be of use. We train those who succeed us, or seek a public, diplomatic office ourselves."
"And do you frequently make use of acting as her decoys?" Obi-Wan queried.
"Depends on milady," Eirtaé answered. "We are in that difficult position of advisors. We can express our opinions as to her safety, but we cannot prevent her from taking risks. Even Captain Panaka cannot completely overrule her decisions. Just as you can only advise your Master to take better care of himself. And follow his orders when he chooses otherwise."
Obi-Wan nodded. "I think even when I pass my trials I shall find it impossible to dissuade him from something he sets out to accomplish."
As he finished speaking, it was with surprise that he realised what he had said. Even though he had doubted being in a position to take his trials only a few hours ago, the Force chorus he received during confirmation of Padmé's feelings, now convinced him that he would. Indeed all he desired now seemed possible. It was an unsettling feeling, a certainty which he had never experienced before, but though it alluded to the dark side, he realised that it wasn't intended to do so, instead it was just a calm assurance that he would become a knight, and he could follow his dreams, whatever they may be.
He followed Eirtaé into the room where he had stood when his master briefed the Queen over the plans to go to Tatooine. It was when he first noticed Padmé and it felt a little unsettling to talk only with her handmaidens. The girls seemed to understand this, for Sabé had discarded the elaborate dress of the Queen, in favour of the handmaiden gowns. Each had left their cowls off, allowing Obi-Wan to observe their differences from Padmé.
Which he could. Aside from the variations of shades in their eyes and hair, Obi-Wan found himself able to detect even the more subtle differences with ease, even though he realised that he could not possibly know Padmé this well after their so short acquaintance. He could conclude that the Force was behind this, which was a contradiction for he knew it was not the Jedi way to read the Force with emotion, yet at the same time, he could not see how such a notion could be avoided, for emotion coloured everything, including logic and reason.
Perhaps he should ask Qui-Gon about such matters later, though that would mean confiding in him how he felt about Padmé and Obi-Wan wasn't sure he was ready to, just yet. There were rarely secrets between him and his Master, although Obi-Wan was beginning to wonder if Qui-Gon knew how bitter he felt about the search for the Chosen One.
Obi-Wan was surprised himself at the level of bitterness within him concerning the matter. He knew a part of it must derive from his insecurities over his training, the sometimes constant battle for acceptance from his Master, who was probably still protecting himself from harm because of Xanatos, his previous Padawan's betrayal. He had assumed, perhaps hopefully, that the nature of Qui-Gon's illness would gradually bring them closer as Master and Padawan, but now he was concerned that they would only drift further apart.
It was not that he believed Anakin should not be trained, in fact he had promised the boy's mother that he would undertake such training himself if the Council refused, though with what authority he could after his knighting begin such unorthodox training he did not know. He was just concerned that his Master would push him aside in order to take the boy on before the Council sent him back to his mother.
It was a selfish feeling, he knew, something he should be above, so close to becoming a Knight as well as something he rarely felt, having always put the cares and wishes of others before his own. After all, his record with Qui-Gon had proved to the Council that he was worth more than a career in the Agri-Corps. He knew from the meetings with Master Yoda and Master Windu when Qui-Gon's illness was first diagnosed that they had a high respect for his abilities. If they and the rest of the Council members deemed his Padawanship incomplete after Qui-Gon declared his intention to become Anakin's Master, then another Master would hopefully volunteer to finish Obi-Wan's training.
The briefing did not take long. Obi-Wan kept certain things back, such as the conversation about the Force, the nature of Anakin, the relationship between himself and Qui-Gon and the parting farewell between him and Padmé, along with his gift to her. In turn however he learned more about the woman he now knew he was in love with, which, naturally, he found his feelings for deepening as a result.
Afterwards he checked in with the security on board, visited the pilots in the cockpit, before travelling to the engine room to prep the hyperdrive and everything else for repairs. There was no doubt in his mind that his Master would succeed in acquiring the parts, whether the race went Anakin's way or no. Qui-Gon was one of the foremost negotiators in the Order, master of every form of persuasion, not even above using sheer stubbornness to carry him to success in missions when all else failed.
When his work was done, he settled into a meditation, his last idle thoughts were spent wondering what Padmé would make of his Master, if she chose to spend time with him.
Padmé returned to the dwelling, encountering Shmi's warm smile and Master Jinn's thoughtful gaze. She wondered if they had seen her farewell to Obi-Wan, if she had broken part of the Code. Perhaps their conduct could be considered questionable given the mission and their positions, but she did not believe that they had behaved without circumspection or restraint. Though they had recognised their feelings were the same, they had not acted upon them, nor had either of them taken advantage of the other.
After making the acquaintance of Qui-Gon, Anakin returned to bed, intending to rise early and carry on working on the Pod. A nervous silence ensued as she, Shmi and Jar Jar adjusted to the Jedi Master's presence. Padmé exerted herself to ask after the Queen and the other handmaidens, as well as the rest of the crew abroad her ship and was pleased to see that her enquiries had the dual effect of easing Shmi's nerves about Qui-Gon, as the Jedi Master answered Padmé with kindness and assurance.
He asked her to show him the pod with which Anakin was to race tomorrow, and she led him outside, gently lifting the protective cover off so he could see the design and mechanics. She told him what she knew of it, having heard Anakin's eager description of the pod while his protocol droid introduced itself to R2D2.
"You really believe he will win tomorrow?" She found herself asking when she had finished describing the pod.
"I know he will," Qui-Gon replied.
"Obi-Wan said that you prefer to focus on the here and now," she said, "how can you know the future with such a philosophy?"
"I have faith in the Force," Qui-Gon answered, studying her curiously. "How come my Padawan told you that?"
"I asked him to describe the Force to me," Padmé replied. "He was kind enough to consent to my request."
Qui-Gon continued to study her. "You seem to be well acquainted with my Padawan."
Padmé felt she had to be careful in her reply. "We conferred over the mission. He wished to know what the Queen's opinion would be concerning the decision to trust the success of the mission upon the competency of a young boy. Naturally such an opinion would be influenced by my view of Anakin and the mission."
"And what is your opinion of Anakin?" He asked, his intense expression conveying to her his need to know the truth, rather than a diplomatic response.
"He's a sweet boy," Padmé answered. "Desirous of being helpful, but naturally ignorant of the danger to himself and the concern felt by those close to him. Perhaps innocent of the expectations his success might fulfil and the sacrifices he could be forced to make."
"You disapprove of my methods, don't you?" He deduced.
Now perhaps a little diplomacy was called for. "I'm not sure I have the experience or knowledge to give an unbiased view, Master Jinn."
"I doubt such diplomacy kept you back from giving your opinion to my Padawan," he said, but without any resentment in his tone.
"Then, diplomacy aside, yes I do, Master Jinn," she said. "Particularly in your treatment of your Padawan."
She was surprised to see him smile. "Perhaps I have been hard on Obi-Wan," he conceded. "And some times without justification, though he is headstrong. He will be a fine Jedi whom it has been an honour to train. Which I will tell him, when we travel to Coruscant. As to my methods, my only defence is that I follow the Force. Obi-Wan and I may have different ways in doing so, but it is what has made us so good a team. I will be both proud and sorry to loose him to Knighthood."
Padmé felt her opinion of him altering, despite herself. "I thought the order did not encourage attachment with Padawans."
"That doctrine is usually misinterpreted," Qui-Gon replied. "We encourage it on the basis of commitment, to the Order, to peace and justice, above our desires, our emotions. Only those Knights and Masters who learn to differentiate between attachment and possession have the potential to become remarkable Jedi."
Padmé silently wondered if she was biased in believing Obi-Wan to be capable of such. "Why then is attachment not commonplace amongst the Jedi? Does it not create a deficit in numbers and within the Force?"
"It is not widely known," Qui-Gon answered. "And there are few Jedi who believe outsiders to the Order are capable of understanding the level of commitment it commands."
"That is a shame," Padmé remarked. "Because I believe if such information was more widely known, then the level of negative opinion about the Jedi, regarding them as people who consider themselves superior and above ordinary mortals might be lowered."
"Perhaps," Qui-Gon allowed. "But where there is fear of the unknown from lack of ability to read the Force, there will always be distrust. No level of knowledge can alter that."
Padmé could not deny the truth of his words. "Well, we have an early start tomorrow," she said. "And I know Anakin intends to rise early and continue to work on the Pod. I think I will retire now. Good night Master Jinn, and thank you for this discussion." she turned to leave him alone in the yard.
"Good night, your Highness," he returned, causing her to halt and turn. "Before you go, I ask you to be careful of your feelings and that of Obi-Wan's. While he is still a Padawan and you are still so young, they are forbidden from being acted on."
"But not from realisation or understanding, I hope," Padmé said softly.
Qui-Gon only smiled and shook his head before letting her go in.