Part 14: Absence of the Heart.
"Padmé, there's a call for you."
The former sovereign of the Naboo rose from the bench swing in the rear gardens of her family home where she had been watching her nieces play, and darted inside, brushing past the smiling form of her sister Sola with graceful haste. The large comlink screen was located in the study, a flashing icon waiting for her to acknowledge the incoming message. She could do naught but smile at the figure of the sender.
"Good day, Milady," he greeted her as soon as she answered.
"Hello, Obi-Wan," Padmé replied. "How are you?"
"I am well," he assured her, moving to seat himself in the chair behind him. The holocamera adjusted for the change in focus, revealing the Jedi Knight's location; the sleek hi-tech interior of a Delta Twelve Skysprite. "And you?"
"Enjoying a welcome break," she replied. "Unlike you, I see. And Anakin?"
"His dreams trouble him still," Obi-Wan confided soberly. "As to the other, it is why I called. To apologise for my absence if you return to the Core before I do."
"Obi-Wan, there's no need," Padmé said, "I know the commitments of the Order are vast, your responsibilities many, often all-consuming. And I never expect you to visit everytime I am on Coruscant."
"I know," he replied with a smile, "which is why I do."
She blushed at the unspoken charm which his expression conveyed. His hair grown into shoulder length, a beard cresting his chin from a desire to appear less youthful so his authority was not corrupted by age. But while these features did convey that impression of experience, they also conveyed a warmth and a charm which disarmed many who were fortunate to meet with the Knight. The years had been kind to him. Her Padawan was no longer a young man but every inch a Knight. "Where do you go this time?"
"Ansion," he replied, "a minor border dispute. Jedis Luminara and Barriss were sent ahead of us. Although from what I hear from Bail, it has implications for the Republic."
"You think they will secede to the Confederacy?" Padmé asked. Since the failure to raise the Financial Reform Act to a vote in the Senate, many planets had left the Republic to join this Confederacy of Independent Systems.
"We intend to make sure they don't," Obi-Wan informed her. "If Ansion goes, the Confederacy will have gained an extremely strategic planet, and countless others could follow in their wake."
"That might happen anyway if this Military Creation Act goes to the floor," Padmé admitted sadly. Only since joining the Senate soon after her two terms as Queen came to an end, had she become aware of how fragile the Republic seemed to be. Despite everything corruption still existed in the Senate, making the appeal of the Confederacy all the more tempting to some. "I was just with Queen Jamillia today. More details came to light."
"And none of them pleasant reading," Obi-Wan remarked, to which she nodded. Despite the fact that the creation of an army for the defence of the Republic would help the Jedi Order tremendously, there were no Knights or Masters who would truly welcome it, and he was one of them. If the act was voted in, relations between the Republic and the Confederacy could only worsen, along with those worlds involved in either side.
Inside the Delta Twelve there sounded a loud beep, announcing that the craft was soon to drop out of hyperspace. Obi-Wan acknowledged the call with a glance and a hand on controls, before speaking to her again. "I'll see you when we get back," he promised.
"I look forward to it," Padmé said softly. "May the Force be with you, Obi-Wan."
"And with you, milady," he replied before the message came to an end.
Sola was with her daughters when Padmé returned to the bench swing outside, a curious expression displayed across her face. "So that was the legendary Obi-Wan Kenobi," she remarked, needing no confirmation, for the Knight had introduced himself when she answered the call.
Padmé nodded anyway, her gaze moving from her sister to her nieces as they chased each other round the garden. "Yes, he called to tell me that he'd been ordered to Ansion," she informed her sister, her voice distant, as though it was still with him, like her thoughts.
"I see why you like him," Sola added. "Tell me, was he always so charmingly handsome?"
That brought her sharply back to her surroundings. "Sola!"
"Don't worry, baby sister, I'm a married woman, remember?" Sola reminded her with a laugh. "Besides, vows do not preclude one from looking. And you never answered my query."
"I'm a Senator," Padmé uttered firmly. "Senators do not allow such shallow impressions to influence their opinions."
"You're also a woman," Sola countered. "And he's a man. A man whom you have kept a holo correspondence with for ten years."
"We're friends," Padmé protested, but only half-heartedly. Though she had never admitted it to her family, her feelings for Obi-Wan had never changed.
Sola sighed. "Padmé, you have given so many years of your life to the Republic. When are you going to make one for yourself?"
"You speak as if I've wasted those years as Queen and Senator," Padmé remarked, evaluating her sister's appraising glance.
"I don't deny that you've done a great deal of good," Sola corrected. "For Naboo and for the Republic. But even though I'm no politician, I see where the approaching storm on the horizon is heading. It's no longer a question of if there will be war, but when."
Padmé shook her head. "Not if I can help it," she replied.
"And when will you realise that you need to make a life for yourself before it's too late?" Sola asked. "I see the sparkle in your eyes when you watch my children. I know how much you love them. Don't you want a family of your own?"
"I...." Padmé paused as her gaze settled on Ryoo and Pooja, unable to deny the affection she felt for them. Though she had joined public service on Naboo, a family of her own had always been something she wanted. "I'm working right now for something I deeply believe in. For something that's important."
"And after this is settled, after the Military Creation Act is far behind you, you'll find something else that's really important. Something that concerns the Republic and the government more than it really concerns you," Sola predicted.
"How can you say that?" Padmé asked her.
"Because it's true and you know it's true," Sola replied. "When are you going to do something just for yourself?"
"Is everyone to be defined by their children?" Padmé asked incredulously.
"Of course not," Sola answered. "But at the same time, you cannot spend all your life seeking and spending all your energy in the service of ideals and of others. Yes, life is full of sacrifice, but to ignore something which will give you even more energy to fight for better Republic will only result in alienating you from the very people you want to help."
Padmé sighed, the breath acknowledging that some of her sister's points were reasonable. "But if the Military Creation Act becomes law, Sola, war will inevitably follow. Do really wish me to put any child through that?"
Her sister was unable to answer and a silence settled over the siblings which neither of them wished for. Padmé had intended to win the debate, though a part of her half hoped that Sola would have something to say in response. It was a hollow victory however, for she was denying to herself a want which needed to be surrendered to soon, if the Military Creation Act became law. But her doubts remained, and not just because of herself, but of the man whom she would choose to have that family with if she could.
They both had responsibilities, he more than her, not to mention that the public perception of their relationship had not been changed by her choice to enter the Senate. Even assuming he wanted children, for it was something they had not discussed. Despite a correspondence of coms over the ten years since their first encounter, where they had exchanged views, beliefs, ideals, preferences, past times and confidences, their feelings was something which they had never aired, not even as far as to say the reasons why. Numerous though these were, some perfectly reasonable and logical in times such as this, the distance had incurred a natural doubt as to whether their attachment was still present to the level it had been when they first confessed it on Tatooine.
Whatever her fears, it was something she would have to summon the courage to air with him when they next met.
Weeks passed, and few things changed. Padmé returned to her offices in the Palace plaza, immersing herself in the holonet communications which came daily, even hourly to her link station, as the polls monitored the probable outcome of the vote for the Military Creation Act. The date for her return to Coruscant had been set, which meant careful and detailed preparation on what she wanted to say to her fellow Senators, and the necessary security that would accompany her; Handmaidens and Nubian guards. Unlike her predecessor she still found the worth in a decoy and due to the differences between herself and Queen Jamillia a few of the handmaidens who had served her during the second sovereign term volunteered to serve when she became Senator.
Her holo was on at the moment, displaying the numbers, with a soldier on one side and a flag of truce on the other to indicate for or against. It sickened her to see the names of her colleagues, knowing that most them would be determining their position not with a care for the needs of their world or the Republic or peace, but out of personal gain, for business contracts, manufacturing deals, division of forces implementing the law on their own planets, even payoffs for just saying aye or nay. The depth of corruption often caused her to wonder if Sola was right and she was wasting her life in the pursuit of something which at the moment looked wholly impossible to realise.
A rumpus outside drew her attention from the depressing sight to the large window at one end of her office, and she glanced through the panes to see a cadre of men fighting upon the paved courtyard floor. Nubian security forces appeared and began to deal with them.
The portal to her room was slid aside then, after a brief abrupt knock of forewarning, making her turn from the window to see Captain Panaka striding in.
"Just checking, Senator," he informed her, still incredibly formal, but Padmé felt comforted by the mere sight of him. The years had been kind to him too, at twice her age he still had the physique and the health for his post, along with the affection for the sovereign he once served, and the one he did now.
"Shouldn't you be seeing to the security of Queen Jamillia?" she asked him but without any real rebuke.
"She is well protected, I assure you," Panaka replied.
"From?" Padmé asked. Her absence from the capital to spend time with her family had precluded her usual care for Nubian disputes, which were usually few and far between.
"Spice miners," Panaka answered. "Contract issues. Nothing to concern you, Senator. Actually, I was on my way here to speak with you, about the security for your return trip to Coruscant."
Padmé frowned. "That is weeks away."
"Which gives us more time to properly prepare," Panaka replied.
There was another knock at the door and Captain Typho, Panaka's nephew and Padmé's chief of security since her appointment as Senator, walked in. "I have some bad news. The Trade Federation have decided to cast their lot with the Confederacy."
Such news troubled Padmé into silence only for a moment. "We've suspected all along that Count Dooku and his separatists would court the Trade Federation and the various commerce guilds. Viceroy Gunray is an financial opportunist. It was only a matter of time before he decided to see the profit in this."
"I'm much more concerned with the implications to you, Senator," Panaka said. "The separatists have shown themselves not to be above violence. There have been assassination attempts across the Republic."
Padmé could not ignore the truth in that, for Obi-Wan had been involved in the rescue of one of those Senators over the Financial Reform Act, an article of law which she still believed might have prevented so many systems leaving the Republic if it had been put to vote.
"But wouldn't the separatists consider Senator Amidala an ally at this time?" Typho asked. "I know you are no friend towards secedence from the Republic, but concerning the Military Creation Act, you have always stated publicly that you prefer negotiation over force. Would not the separatists agree with your vote?"
"With the alliance of the Trade Federation, I am not so sure of that as I once was," Padmé revealed.
"That alliance demands we tighten security around Senator Amidala," Panaka decided.
"Please do not speak of me as if I am not here," Padmé protested.
"In matters of personal security, Senator, you are not here," Panaka insisted. "At least your voice is not. My nephew reports to me, and his responsibilities on this matter cannot be undermined. You must take all precautions."
"Even cancelling my return?" Padmé asked.
"If events demand it, yes," Panaka answered. "But we know this vote is important, Senator. Rest assured we will do all we can to make sure you are safe to attend."