I don't own Star Trek nor do I profit from my stories UNLESS you review. That's my only reward.
Peace Of Mind
The Enterprise wold be carrying medical supplies and volunteers to New Shannai'Kahr. They would stop at Starbase 7 first to collect them. Jim informed the bridge officers of the change in plans at the weekly Tuesday night meeting. Afterward, Jim pulled his first officer aside.
"New Shannai'Kahr is where Ambassador Selek lives. I'm looking forward to seeing the old dude again. I bet it's kind of weird for you, though."
"That would be an understatement."
After the meeting, Spock and Nyota placed their weekly subspace call Sirin and Rachel. They shared as much of their mission plan with the family as they could.
"The timing is very interesting, cousin. Jack and Lewis are en route to New Shannai'Kahr to pick up Sonrisa. Her adoption paperwork has been completed. It is possible that you may meet up with them. I believe that Ambassador Selek also resides there."
"He does."
"Spock, are you prepared to encounter him?"
"Sirin, whether I am prepared or not, it is time. We will speak with you next week if we are able. Live long and prosper."
"Peace and long life, cousin."
"Peace", thought Spock as he closed the communication link. "Peace of mind is what I am seeking."
It had been ten days since his last nightmare. Spock had hoped that they were behind him, but the thought of encountering his older self was somewhat disturbing, so it really came as no surprise.
His older self stood before him, much larger than life. Spock found him self standing in a very large shadow.
"I must take control of the situation. In reality, you are no taller than I. I must insist you assume you proper size."
Older Spock shrunk down to the appropriate size.
"Why have you disturbed my rest? What is it that you want from me? Have you come to alter my universe again?"
Older Spock sighed.
"You misunderstand my motives. I want only what is best for you."
Young Spock considered this for a moment.
"You used your knowledge against me. Your told Kirk to emotionally compromise me. You melded with him and showed him the things that would hurt me most, that would make an effective weapon."
"I do apologize, but it was necessary. The billions of Federation lives were more important than the psyche of one person. I should not need to tell you this."
"I do understand this, however it was very painful for me."
"Young one, I ask your forgiveness. In turn, I will forgive you for the rigid thinking that required me to take such a course of action."
It was young Spock's turn to sigh now.
"You are forgiven. What is it that you require of me now?"
"Only that you live up to your potential."
"May I ask what my potential is?"
"Young one, only you may decide that."
With that, older Spock was gone, and younger Spock woke up. He slipped out of bed and recorded his dream in the diary Corenda had given him. He would have an appointment with her the next day, which was fortuitous, as he was likely to encounter Ambassador Selek a few days after that.
Jack and Lewis had taken up residence at the New Shannai'Kahr Inn. It would be a week until the next transport left for Starbase 7. From there, they would catch another back to Terra. Sonrisa was delighted to see them. The staff of the Vulcan orphanage was relieved. The child refused to engage in mind melds with healers or to speak to most Vulcan adults, especially young males. She would shrink in fear, as she was unable to run away on her damaged legs. She would cry "Bad shirts!" The orphanage staff thought she might have impaired mental development.
She was obviously happier and more secure with her two adoptive human parents, so they were allowed to take her to the Inn even before the documentation was completed. Language was a problem. Sonrisa only spoke Romulan, and an obscure dialect at that. It was an offshoot of Vulcan, but the two cultures had parted ways millenia ago. Jack had downloaded the interactive Federation Standard Course for Vulcans that Spock had developed after the Genocide. Sonrisa seemed to understand some of it and she had enjoyed watching it. So far she had learned a few useful words and phrases. Lewis was very glad when she learned to say bathroom, as she had to be carried there. Accidents became a thing of the past.
Jack called Sirin and Rachel to let them know that he and Lewis had arrived safely and that Sonrisa's adoption was proceeding as planned. The guys were thrilled to hear that Spock and Nyota would be in New Shannai'Kahr in a few days. Sirin told Jack how to contact the Enterprise. The two couples made arrangements to meet at the Inn. Nyota could hardly wait to meet Sonrisa.
Corenda was pleased with the way Spock had seized control of his dream. Together they read over Spock's account of his dream. She asked him if he saw any symbolism and if any words or phrases stood out for him. Spock noted that he had seem himself as standing in Selek's shadow, and that the Ambassador had at one point seemed larger than life.
"Commander, this is a very important realization. You are a unique and separate individual. I can speak from experience, as I have known you both. There are many similarities but also some significant differences. The logical next step is to stage a deliberate meeting with Selek when we reach New Vulcan."
"I will do so, but it may prove uncomfortable for both of us."
"No doubt."
Spock was not tired enough to sleep that night, so after he had tucked Nyota in and meditated for a while, he took his ka'athyra and went to the Officer's Lounge. Jim was there with his guitar.
"Jim, can you not sleep?'
"I have nightmares every time we go to New Vulcan, Spock. I see all the ones we couldn't save calling for help."
"Perhaps you should seek out a healer while we are on New Vulcan."
"Spock, I'm a little creeped out by mind melds. I don't ever want to do that with a stranger again."
"Ambassador Selek is not a healer, but he is also not a stranger to you."
"I'll think about it."
The pair sat up together in the lounge for an hour, playing some ancient Vulcan folk music that Spock had been teaching Jim. It was quite challenging on the guitar. Spock taught Jim one of the songs he had learned from Ivan the parrot. Jim's jaw nearly dropped as he listened to the naughty lyrics. His Vulcan language studies had been going quite well, so he understood most of what Spock sang. He'd look up the rest the following day.
Spock was pleased with the results of his singing. It took Jim's mind off of his nightmares.
It might have seemed strange that Nyota would become friends with Corenda. After all, Spock was having counseling sessions with her. However, the two women never talked about the sessions, and they enjoyed doing "girly stuff" together to relieve some of their professional stress. Spock was Corenda's husband Simon's boss, so the couples often saw each other socially. Also, there was Jeffrey, who completely charmed anyone and everyone on board. "Uncle" Spock kept a small step stool in the science lab so that Jeffrey could do his "research" at the various microscopes in the Life Sciences lab.
One day, just before their weekly lunch date, Nyota plopped herself down on Corenda's couch.
"I want assistance from a Counselor because I need her to talk me out of doing something completely insane. I need somebody to remind me of all the reasons why I shouldn't have a baby on a starship."
"Girl, you came to the wrong place. I just brought a two-year-old to a starship, after dragging him off to New Vulcan as a toddler. Yesterday, Len told me that number two is on the way. So if having a baby on a starship makes you crazy, I had better resign from my job now."
Her conversation with Corenda gave Nyota a lot to think about.
Spock and Nyota helped Bones oversee the delivery of the medical supplies to the clinic. Two doctors and six nurses were also dropped off. These volunteers would stay about nine months. Jim met with Ambassador Selek, who figured prominently in the political life of the settlement. The two spent an hour at Selek's cottage on the edge of town. At last Jim made his way to the clinic. He took Spock aside.
"He's waiting for you, buddy. You can do this."
Spock sat sipping tea in Selek's garden. It was surrounded by hand-laid stone walls that reminded Spock of the ones Sarek had built around Amanda's garden at the weekend house in San Francisco. Spock had assisted. Apparently Selek had, too.
Selek broke the tension by speaking first.
"It seems that we have been avoiding each other again."
"That was mostly my fault and my choice" said Spock.
"Might I ask why?"
"I have resented you and blamed you for the events which have taken place. Actually I blamed both of us. The blame belongs to Nero, though I am guilty of rigid thinking and inexperience."
"Neither of those are true sins, merely defects that are corrected over time. You seem well on your way to doing so. I, too, have experienced guilt over the affair. If I had thought of the red matter more quickly, or if I had been able to persuade Nero to go back in time and warn his planet, all might have been well. However, indulging in "if only" is an illogical waste of time and mental energy. Both are valuable resources and there is much to be done to help rebuild our race."
"May I call you Selek? It seems awkward to address you as Spock, though it has been your name longer than mine."
"Use that name, as I have grown accustomed to hearing it."
"There is more I would seek your forgiveness for. I avoided you because I feared living in your shadow. You must have accomplished a lot to have been named Ambassador. I was also jealous of the extra time you had with mother."
"Spock you have already accomplished things I never did. The interactive language teaching method and the improvements to the universal translator. You have relationships with family and friends that I never dreamed of, especially those with Father and Grandmother. In my universe, we were mostly estranged from one another. You are bolder, more willing to take a risk and live with the consequences. I only ever managed to be close friends with my Nyota. You have done much better in that respect."
"Selek, did you ever marry?"
"Much later in life to a somewhat younger woman of Vulcan and Romulan descent. We had three children. In this universe she would be a small child now."
Spock was silent. Selek was essentially a widower.
"I have another question. Do you believe that it would be possible to travel back in time and save our people, accomplish what you were unable to persuade Nero to do?"
"Spock, there are consequences when ever time travel is attempted. The smallest change may cause a huge ripple effect. What might save lives in one place can cost them in another. In my universe, the Enterprise traveled in time on several occasions. We always left an unintended imprint, touched other lives in an unexpected way. The same thing happened when we accidentally encountered alternate universes."
"You have been in alternate universes?" Young Spock was now wide-eyed. "Were there more of us, more Spocks?"
Selek nearly laughed, both at the question and the memory.
"Indeed there were. If you ever meet the one with the beard, you may wish to watch your back....
Spock and Selek chatted for almost two hours before Spock excused himself for his appointment with Jack and Lewis. He and Nyota were going to meet the couple in their suite at the Inn for a lunch with little Sonrisa. When Selek learned where Spock was going, he gave him a small, handmade doll cradle to take to Sonrisa, from her "Uncle" Selek. He had been volunteering at the orphanage and become somewhat attached to the child himself.
Jim, Bones, and Nyota spent the morning touring New Shannai'Kahr with Lt. Cmdr. Pete Van Horn, an Energy Systems Engineer. His wife Helena was a linguist. They had taken the New Vulcan assignment while they waited for the birth of their third child. Jim was very impressed with the settlement's solar array.
"Just wait 'til Spock sees this. He might even raise an eyebrow over it."
"Excuse me, did you say Spock, as in S'chn T'gai Spock?"
"Sure did. He's my First Officer. Nyota is his wife. How do you know him?"
"We roomed for three semesters at the Academy. We kind of lost touch of each other after the Genocide, though. We lost another buddy, Fred Lindner on the Exeter. He and Spock served on Discovery together. Wow, Spock has a wife! Is he here on New Vulcan?"
"Yeah, he's in a meeting, but I won't let him leave without seeing you. Thanks for the tour."
"You're welcome. Thank you for telling me about Spock. He's a great guy."
Jim and Bones decided to accompany Nyota to the Inn to meet Jack and Lewis. They had all had a great time together on New Year's Day at Spock's cousin's house. And truth be told, they wanted to meet Sonrisa. Bones had a daughter not much older named Joanna. Sometimes he missed her terribly.
Nyota rang the buzzer for the couple's suite. Jack answered the door with Sonrisa clinging to his neck. He had been giving her a piggyback ride.
"Hey guys, come on in. Excuse the mess. We've got this busy little princess here. She may not be able to walk, but she can still trash a room in no time flat."
Lewis grabbed the toys off the sofa and threw them in a corner. He had given up on any semblance of order a few days ago. He motioned for everyone to have a seat.
Jack sat in a large armchair with Sonrisa on his lap, however the little one wanted down. She crawled over to Nyota and looked up at her, then at Lewis.
"Who, Papa?"
"That's you Auntie Nyota."
"Nyota, pretty hair."
Sonrisa held her arms out to Nyota, who picked her up and held her in her lap, allowing the little girl to play with her hair and touch her dangling earrings. Sonrisa enjoyed this game for a moment, before she noticed Jim. She pointed at Jim and asked "Who?"
"I'm Jim, a friend. This is my buddy, Bones."
Sonrisa reached for Jim. He took her and sat her on his lap. She studied his face intently.
"Pretty eyes. Blue."
He smiled at her and gave her a hug.
Jack issued a mock threat.
"Hey, watch it there! I've heard about you. That's my daughter and she's under age!"
The door buzzer rang. It was Spock.
Jack and Lewis held their breath, wondering if Sonrisa would have a meltdown when she saw a young, male Vulcan in her quarters. They got ready to intervene if necessary.
Spock took a seat by Nyota, putting the doll cradle on the floor. Lewis decided to go for broke.
"Sonrisa, this is your Uncle Spock, Auntie Nyota's husband."
Sonrisa slid off of Jim's lap and crawled over to Spock.
"Hello, Sonrisa."
Sonrisa shrieked with glee.
"Teacher man!" She put her arms out to be held by Spock.
Spock looked confused, but picked the child up anyway.
"Kind eyes, good shirt." Sonrisa patted Spock's shoulder.
Jack laughed.
"She recognizes you from the Federation Standard Language course for Vulcans. We couldn't find one for Romulans."
"That is because it does not yet exist. Perhaps "Uncle" Spock might be persuaded to make one for Sonrisa" said Nyota as she brushed his fingertips with hers.
"No persuasion would be necessary. I will gladly do so."
Lewis was still amazed that Sonrisa was sitting on Spock's lap.
"Spock, she usually doesn't like Vulcan males, especially young ones, calls them "bad shirts." She liked Ambassador Selek and his shirts. I don't understand what that's all about."
"I will ask her."
Spock decided it would be best to try to speak to Sonrisa in Romulan.
"Hello, little one. Will you talk to me?"
"Yes, Teacher Man. You know my language."
"Yes. Can you tell me about the "bad shirts?"
"They took away my father, cut his neck with a knife, and then there was red blood every where. They said that "Slaves should not touch Romulan women." My mother tried to stop them, and they cut her, too. They took her away. I tried to go after her, but the "bad shirts" stopped me. They threw me on the ground and jumped on my legs. It hurt a lot. Then they all went away. I crawled over to my father, but he did not breathe anymore. After a few days, other men came and brought me to this place."
"I am sorry for your pain, little one. What name did your mother give you?"
"Saavena, but my father called me Sunny."
"That is a very apt name for you. You are going to have two new fathers to care for you, now. They will love you very much. You will go to a new home and visit a doctor who will repair your legs. It will not be the life you had before, but I believe that you will be happy."
"Will you come and see us?"
"When I can, and I will bring Nyota."
"Good, I like her."
A young male Inn employee came and brought the group a meal. Sonrisa tried to hide from him, as he was wearing a "bad shirt." Spock finally figured out that the padded-shoulder style tunic favored by many Vulcan males reminded Sonrisa of the uniform shirts worn by the Romulan military.
When they had eaten, Lewis put Sonrisa down for a nap. When he returned to the sitting area, Spock revealed all that the little one had told him. It was both difficult to repeat and to hear. Nyota had understood it when Spock and Sonrisa were speaking, but hearing it the second time didn't make it any easier. The Humans all had tears in their eyes and Spock's emotional control was wavering. Bones was sobbing out loud, thinking of his own child.
As the four friends from the Enterprise left, each made a promise to Jack and Lewis to do anything they could help Sonrisa adjust to her new life. Spock hoped that he had helped the child achieve some peace of mind.
Jim and Bones were beamed directly to the ship. Spock and Nyota spent some time with Pete and Helena, remembering old times and catching up on recent ones. Somehow they managed to acquire two new nieces and a nephew who was on the way. And then they were transferred to the beam down point in New Shi'Kahr, where they had a few hours to share with Sarek and T'Sela.
A/N:
That's the end of the angst. It will get much happier from now on. I really mean it!