The Haunted Haunt Chapter Four
As he had agreed, Dib met Zim on Main Street and so they started out for the supposedly haunted house. Dib recited the people 'killed' on the site that he told Zim he had researched for.
"It all started with the building. It was on an old Indian burial ground, y'see. People used to hear drums and war whoops in the night. One guest was even found scalped in his room!"
"Scalped?" Zim frowned at the unfamiliar term.
"Yeah, that means somebody, or something cut his hair and skin away for a trophy. It's just something the Indians did to their enemies."
"Wasteful," Zim sniffed. "A limb would make a better trophy!"
"Ah…yeah. Then there's a report of the hotel being burned down with everybody in it. They couldn't get the doors open. They say after they rebuilt it you could still smell smoke and hear flames crackling."
"Heh, that's how we dealt with the Tengals on the planet Meagle. Invader Foom convinced the entire population to build this HUGE amusement park! After they did and everyone was invited with free admission, Foom closed the gates and fired missiles on it! Neatly done! Of course he had the remaining Tengals rebuild the park and now it's one of Irk's favorite vacation resorts!"
Dib gave an inward shudder; he had to remember who and what he was dealing with. Certainly ordinary deaths wouldn't faze Zim.
"There's also a story of a whole party being shut up in the ballroom and shot because the mob boss didn't like the guy his sister was marrying. You're supposed to still hear the gunshots and screams from that, plus blood stain appear on the floor from nowhere."
Zim grunted, still not impressed. 'I'm going to have to try harder,' Dib thought.
"Oh, and then there's the Haunted Suitcase!"
"What?" Zim stopped to stare at Dib. "How can a suitcase be haunted? I thought ghosts were left over dead humans?"
"Spirits, Zim. Sometimes ghosts aren't from humans but evil spirits. They can latch onto anything." Dib gave the alien a thoughtful look. "Don't you have any stories like that on your planet?"
"The stories we tell are of CONQUEST!" Dib winced at the sudden yell. "What use are stories that aren't?"
"Well, don't you think that the same kind of stories get a little boring after a while?"
"How can conquest be boring? Dib-monkey can't understand this?"
"Never mind. Sorry I asked. Anyway, the haunted suitcase is supposed to go thumping about and when it reaches someone, it jumps forward, snaps them inside and they're never seen again!"
"Zim fears no haunted luggage!"
"Well, you can tell when it comes for you. First you'll hear the thump! Thump! Thump! Drawing ever closer. Then it stops. Dead quiet. You look but don't see anything. You turn around and THERE IT IS! It LEAPS toward you and SNAPS you up inside!" Dib set his own hands into claws and made a slight hop towards Zim. He had the satisfaction of seeing the alien immediately jump back himself. " You are doomed! Nobody knows what happens to those trapped inside! They're never seen again!"
Zim couldn't think of anything to say at this point but he did swallow. 'So, that was his own fear', Dib though. 'The Unknown!' The boy grinned to himself and slunk his voice lower.
"So beware the thumps, Zim! If you hear them, you're a goner!" Dib stopped at the end of the lane and pointed up the hill. "Well, there it is! Have fun, Zim. See you later! Maybe."
"Um..wait. You're not..coming?"
"Me? Ha! I told you, I'm not setting foot in that place! –You're- the one who wanted to see ghosts, Zim, not me! Good luck!"
Zim straightened up to his full height (which wasn't much). "Yes! Of course! I shall see theses –ghosts- and they shall OBEY MEEE! –I- am not scared to go among them!"
"If you say so. S'long, Zim!" Dib started walking past the hill as if he hadn't a care in the world but he was keeping an eye on the alien with a small mirror held in his hand. He noticed how Zim simply stood at the bottom of the hill looking up and snickered. "Go on, go on!" he muttered to himself. "Go on up to my little…'funhouse'! Then we'll see who's scared of ghosts!"
It took the Irken a few moments to collect himself before he started up the hill towards the large and rather imposing building. As Gaz had said, it was an old hotel but in such bad condition no-one really knew how to even start on restorations. The wood was all gray, what paint it had was all worn away long ago. Every glass pane in every window was broken; the porch steps were uneven, the foundation crumbling. Even the trees around it had died and the branches twisted like evil grasping hands. Grass and weeds grew long around it and between the stones of the pathway leading up to the front door. A light wind made everything move with a life of its own. It blew across the loose fence boards which produced a dry rattling sound. The branches slowly waved and seemed to be reaching out to snatch anyone near enough. Zim made a wide detour to avoid the limbs and almost tripped on the broken pavement. The whisper of the breeze changed into a low moan when it blew across some discarded jars hidden in the long grass. For a moment the alien paused, wondering if this really was the smart thing to do, go rummaging around in some old abandoned building, but then he took a deep breath and reminded himself that he was an Invader! And invaders did not fear anything!
Zim carefully made his way up and was reaching out to grasp the handle when it turned on its own and the door slowly creaked open. All by itself.
Zim stood frozen in place, his hand ready to grasp at …nothing. His eyes darted from side to side as he tried to locate a logical cause for the unexpected movement. Then he set his jaw and stood upright stubbornly.
"I am ZIM!" he yelled into the darkness. "I fear NOTHING!"
The statement was more for his own reassurance than anything else. His voice disappeared into the gloom of the room.
"Hmph," the invader sniffed, and stalked inside. He stood there in a defiant stand in front of the old dilapidated desk and again shouted into the dark. "I am ZIM! I have come for you GHOSTS! Are you there? ANSWER ZIM!"
For a moment nothing stirred, then with a loud long creak the door behind him slowly and firmly slammed shut, once more with unseen hands. Zim jumped back against the desk and gulped.
"All…all right. S-so you…ARE…here. Fine. Good. Yes. That is…what I wanted. Yes."
From inside the large coat closet Dib had to fight hard not to laugh out loud. He had snuck around and hurriedly entered the building from the back way as Zim was coming up in front. Simple controls to operate the door had set the mood perfectly. 'This is going to be more fun than any theme park!' he said to himself.
Zim had turned on his palm light and was carefully examining the main lobby. It was filed with old furniture covered with what used to be white cloths and the dust was thick. Heavy cobwebs hung from every corner. "So? Show yourselves! Where are you?"
'Hmm, perhaps I'll start with the footsteps," Dib thought as he activated the recorder and speakers.
Zim turned when he heard the heavy footsteps coming towards him, and steeled himself. "Aha! It's about time! Come and show yourself!" He listened as the sounds drew nearer, they had almost reached the room. In just a few more seconds Zim would get to see his first ghost. The sounds reached the room and continued into it but he saw…nothing!
The Irken stood frozen in place as he heard the footsteps come straight towards him and then…stop! He swallowed hard, and then looked up to where there –should- have been somebody…anybody! Standing in front of him looking back. But there was no-one there at all.
"Ah…." He quavered. "Y-yes. G-good cloaking d-device you have th-there." He didn't think humans had such equipment. No, they didn't, he was certain, so the only thing that had made those noises would have to be..a ghost!
Dib moved the dial and the footsteps sounded again, this time leading away.
"Waiit! Where are you going? Get back here! I am ZIM! I offer you an alliance against…..the…" Zim realized there was nobody around to yell at as the steps faded away. "Hmph. Stupid ghosts. Very well, if you think you can escape from ZIM then you have to think again! And once more! And yes, think yet again!"
Dib moved a slight switch which activated the speaker in the next room. It once was a large dining area in its day but was now more of a place to stack crates and boxes. The loud crash he had recorded in his room was repeated at nearly three times the usual sound level.
Zim almost jumped out of his boots at the din. He whirled about and quickly made his way to the source, expecting a troop of ghosts knocking everything about. ""AHA! Think you can hide from Zim! Not with all that noise you…don't….."
He stood in the doorway, confused. He had heard the racket but nothing in the room had been touched for decades. It was all still, even the spiders in the cobwebs weren't moving. He scratched his head, trying to come up with a reason for the noise and failing.
Dib reached out and flicked another switch. Immediately ghostly moans and groans seem to surround Zim, rising and falling in pitch. Zim's eyes got wide and he stiffened in place, his pupils flickering here and there as he tried to see what was creating the sounds. Beads of sweat were beginning to form on his forehead. The boy flipped another switch, which caused the fogger machine to begin working. Slowly faint whitish whisps begin threading their way up through the cracks in the walls and floors.
Dib admired the effect. 'That is just sooo cool!' he thought.
"You cannot frighten ZIM!" the alien's voice was loud but it still quavered at the end. The fact that he was now backing out of the room did nothing to help his show of courage. "And I am NOT RETREATING! I am….I am going to look for more of you ghosts….over there."
Dib clapped a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing out loud. With the other hand he toggled another connection.
Zim found that he couldn't make his way through the rooms in his usual marching-like manner, the floors were in too poor a condition. This rendered him into a more light stepping, hopping in some places gait. The alien growled, not liking to be reduced to a rabbit-like state. An Invader needed to show he was forceful at every turn!
A slight movement caught his attention and he whipped his head about. He saw nothing but he still stared, knowing that he had seen SOMETHING! But what?
Another movement, but from the other side. Again Zim turned his head and caught a glimpse of something pale silently floating past. Dib's words about ghosts came back just then.
'They just glide on through. And there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing. At. All.'
Zim growled again and ground his teeth. If these ghosts think they can avoid Zim they were in for a rude surprise. He activated a weapon from his Pak, then stood there and waited for the next passing whisp.
Dib pursed his lips as he saw what Zim was planning. (By the way, Dib also installed remote cameras here and there. I didn't think I needed to point that out but hey, wouldn't you?) "So you're going to blast a ghost, Zim? Not too smart." He twisted a small dial.
Zim looked back and forth, waiting for the opportunity to use his blaster on the next passing phantom. He didn't have to wait long but instead of being in front of him it appeared directly above him. "HEY!" he shouted just as he pulled the trigger.
As Dib thought, it was a not a good idea. The shot went right through the projection and hit the rotten ceiling above him. Chunks of plaster and wood rained down upon the alien and several smacked him before he got out of the way. Dib had to bite his lip in an effort to keep silent.
"Eaauugghh," Zim moaned as he shook the remnants off his head and body. "Stupid empty ghosts don't even stay and fight! Hmph!"
Dib watched as the Irken made his way down the long hallway to the old kitchen. The boy had hung up a series of old pictures the length of the corridor earlier, just waiting for the release button. As soon as Zim past the first picture he hit the first control.
Bam! The picture falling and hitting the floor startled Zim and he whipped about, blaster at the ready. When he saw it was nothing more than a fallen painting he sniffed and turned away.
He passed the second picture, and BAM! It too fell to the floor. Zim stopped and studied it for a moment. His eyes shifted right to left.
"And what is the purpose of this, making these things fall?" he demanded loudly. "Improperly hung human pictures do not scare the Mighty Zim!"
He turned away and continued but as he passed each frame it sprang from the wall, one after another.
Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam!
Zim's pace quickened until he was almost running, all the frames crashing behind him. At the end of the hallway he whirled about to see the last one fall. Leaning against the bulkhead he panted 'You..don't..scare…ZIM!...Stupid..ghosts."
The alien slowly made his way into the kitchen, trying to look in every direction at once, in case a ghost attempted to sneak up on him. Dib set off yet another device.
The water had long been shut off from the hotel but a small microphone stuck in the large empty faucet was just as good. Zim whipped about when he heard the sound of a squeaky faucet turn and water gush out. "Water!" he muttered. "N-no!" He stared at the sink as he listened to the liquid filling the sink, but no water fell, and the sink was as dry as a bone. A lone spider merrily danced across the huge web over it. The water continued until the sound of a sink overrunning came. It was if the entire room was being flooded. Zim did a short dance to get out of the way but not a drop was to be seen.
Zim nervously licked his lips. Nothing at the Irken Acadamy had ever prepared him for anything like this and he was at a total loss of what to do. An enemy that one could see, could fire at, could touch and intimidate, that he was used to and could deal with. But this?
A sharp crackling came to his hearing, making his antennae twitch and the faint smell of smoke was wafting through. He frowned. Didn't the Dib-meat puppet say something about a fire? As soon as that thought hit him he began to hear faint screams of horror and anguish. He backed away then realized he would end up in that hallway again. He skirted around the room by its walls and found himself heading back to the lobby in another corridor.
Was that how it was on the planets his people had already conquered? Did the screams of the dying come back to be replayed over and over again? He frowned and shook his head to rid himself of the mental questions. That was a matter for the Tallest to deal with, he was just an Invader, nothing more. He had orders and he followed them, simple as that.
But still….those screams..
No! He must keep focused on the task at hand!
He found himself at the foot of a grand staircase. It was impressive in its heydays, carved posts and rails with wide steps, but now those steps were broken and the rails wobbly. Zim stood there and stared up, trying to think if the risk was worth the climb.
'Go on, Zim! Go on up!' Dib thought. 'Ok, here's the bait!'
A button pushed, a magnet retracted and a large old rusty cleaver came tumbling down the steps. It came to rest near Zim's feet and as he stared down at it he noted the thick red liquid still fresh on the cutting edge. One large drop ran down to drip on the floor and he heard an evil deep chuckling echoing through the rooms upstairs.
Irkens don't have hearts to leap into their throats as humans do but Zim's insides were beginning to feel very tense and uncomfortable indeed. If there were a ghost up there that could chop up humans for entertainment, would they be likely to stop just because he was an alien? He rather doubted it.
It almost made the military autopsy table seem like a mere massage!
He swallowed hard, not sure how to proceed at this point. Dib studied the monitor, pondering on what bait to use to get the Irken up there. 'I may have scared him –too- much now. Darn, I don't want him to leave just yet! I still have toys to play with! Hmmm, perhaps just a plain ghost here.'
As Zim stood looking up to the head of the stairs he saw a small white whisp go from one side to another. His eyes narrowed and he set his jaw in a determined manner.
"So, you think you can escape me? The Mighty ZIM! I'll show you!"
He made a lunge on the steps but his foot went right through the first board. As he struggled to free himself his short temper was on the rise. "Just wait till I get up there! You will BEG for MERCY from ZIM and you will NOT GET IT!"
He pulled his foot free and then quickly activated his robot spider legs from his pack. They were more stable than his own two feet and it wasn't long before he set down at the top. He stood there in triumph, feet apart and hands on hips. He raised his chin and shouted down the hallway of rooms. "I AM ZIM! COME OUT AND FACE ME!"
He heard a small noise to his left and spun about, expecting to find just about anything there. Well, almost anything.
What –was- standing there was …a doll. A human doll about 3 feet high, with dark curly hair, pink bow and neat dress.
Zim stared at it with quizzical eyes, not sure what to make of it. It was just a doll, a toy the human worm children liked to play with in their disgusting domestic human games. How did this fit in with ghosts?
Suddenly the doll raised its hand. Zim could see it held a large hunting knife, caked with old blood. At the same time its eyes lit up with a hellish green glow and a small child's voice, high and sweet, came from its mouth.
"Mommy? Mommy? Where are you, Mommy? Why are you hiding? I want to play! Please play with me again, Mommy! Please play! Mommy?"
"YAAAAHHH!" That was enough for Zim! He fired a wild shot at it before haring it down the hallway. That was creepier than that scary monkey Gir liked to watch!