"Fine Line"

"You always admire what you dont understand." - Blaise Pascal

Chapter 5: Confusion of the Mind

A challenge.

It definitely was one.

I laid under the covers of my bed, mind reeling from my last encounter with Marui Bunta a couple of hours ago. Atobe had taken me home- in a majestic limousine might I add- and since then, I still haven't been able to get my conversation with Marui out of my head!

The man was aggravating! ….to an extent. He had thoroughly embarrassed me with his invasion of my personal bubble! When I finally realized the close proximity of our faces, my breath had clogged itself in my throat and I spilled the cup of water onto the floor….and my sketch pad. It's now hung to dry out in the living room. And let's say that incident got most of the females in the room giggling, especially that one girl in red with Niou.

I buried my face deeper into my pillow and his words before the disaster happened came back to me again. "How long would it take for you to figure me out?" And I pulled at my hair.

It bugged me. A lot. And I don't know why either. It sounded like…a challenge. A challenge to see if I can….I can….actually, I don't know challenge for what!! Maybe I'm just thinking too much about this. Deciding to shuffle my thoughts about him away (again), I turned in for the night.

But under the safety and comfort of my blanket, the smell of wine and bubblegum still linger.

Due to the art block which I'm still suffering from despite last night, I'm now sitting at a small dessert café nearby the university with Yura. The girl is in her second last year of history major, and is currently working on a thesis of how psychology is used to influence great kings and other leader figures. It then occurred to me that Yura had a great interest in the sciences back in High School, and was the ace of her class in that department.

I sipped my drink as she scribbled on her paper little bits of evidences she could use to back up her thesis. I saw several names such as Bismarck, Rasputin and many more which I can't pronounce, or even remember anyway. Out of curiosity though, I asked her what she was going to say.

She looked at me thoughtfully, thinking through her words; probably to make it easier for me to understand. That's sweet Yura for you.

"Well, I can't really explain it well in words right now, I work better when typing." She laughed. I waved my hand airily at her, "It's alright. Just give me the gist of it."

"Well," she started, still hesitant of her words. "It's kind of complicated, yet isn't. If you understand someone, you can manipulate them, you know? Twist them to your game." She murmured forefinger and thumb lightly grabbing her chin as she stared down at her mocha. I sat silently, waiting for her to continue as I down the last of my peach bubble tea. "That's possible because you see the world in their point of view, but the thing is, you see it in yours as well." She shrugged. "Like Sun Tzu once said, know both your enemies and yourself, and victory is ensured. Know only yourself but not your enemy, you may or may not lose. But understanding neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself….Hey! I can use that proverb. Why didn't I think of it sooner?" She realized at the end, quickly scribbling down what she just said.

I looked on as she wrote, mind still barely getting an idea of the whole concept. "But then...even if you can….manipulate them..," The word sounded evil to me. Manipulation isn't something I advocate. "How would you get them to follow your plans?"

Yura had a slight deadpan look on her face at my question. As if saying, isn't that obvious? But Yura was too sweet for that. "Well, understanding the psychology of the other person, figure them out-," My head snapped to attention at those words.

"Figure them out" She says.

The rest of her words are lost to me, as all I can only focus on is that one word. Figure.

My mind reeled back to last night, when Marui used that word with me. Speaking of which, I have yet to figure out what he meant. "How do you figure out someone, exactly?" I asked.

Yura scratched her head and I realized that this isn't really a question that a history student can answer. Maybe I should see the psychology professor…

"I'm not too sure myself but, I suppose one of the basics would be that you have to pay close attention to them, to every single thing they do and say, while remaining neutral yourself." Scratch seeing the professor. Yura knows everything.

"Neutral?" I echoed her word. Why exactly did we have to remain neutral, my curious side (which is a huge part of me, but usually I do not have the guts to act on it) wanted to know.

"Cause….if you're not neutral, others behavior will change and they will act based upon what they think you will like, so in the end, you're seeing a fake; not the real them….I think. Make sense?" Yura asked for my confirmation, and I nodded.

I still didn't get what Marui meant though.

"Hey Yura…" She slurped her mocha. "Hmm?"

"That host club we been to the other day, do you visit there often?" I leant forward in my seat.

She coughed upon my question. "No, of course not!" She denied furiously, a small blush on her face. I raised an eyebrow. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head, hand stirring the remainder of her mocha. "Nothing. Just that, I don't want you to get the wrong idea, you know."

I stared at her strangely, not comprehending. "I don't get it…what do you mean?"

"That host club is a high class host club, so nothing shady goes on, that's for sure..." She murmured, although I wasn't sure if it was to me or herself. She looked up at me. "Kumiko-chan, you don't keep up to date on the news, do you?"

"Umm…no, not really." I answered sheepishly. "Why?"

"The host clubs are nice, that's for sure. They lavish us with attention and such~" She waved her hands around, as if trying to lighten the dust in the air. "But what they really are doing is leeching our money off…it's all business to them."

A sudden thump in my heart.

"The police reports are saying that host clubs are targeting housewives and young girls, like us." She continued, unaware of my expression, which even I could not tell what it was.

My gaze kept on her, mouth sealed in silence as I listened to what she is saying. But deep down, I felt something brewing within the pits of my stomach- the beginnings of a furious flame.

"Girls are going into prostitution, because they can't afford to pay the bills they rake up. I didn't want to take you there, but Aya-chan insisted, as it'll be something new for you." She smiled at me, and I tried to smile back, but the flickering anger I was feeling (which I did not know why I was feeling either) was keeping me from giving her a genuine smile.

"Aya-chan has been going to these types of clubs as soon as she hit 18, and she wanted you to experience it too, although I did tell her that you probably wont enjoy it since they are pretty much expensive. Aya and Asuka may be able to afford it, but you can't. And neither can Rinko and I. We can afford one or two trips, but we definitely can't become regulars like those two." Yura laughed, not egoistic enough to make up lies about how wealthy she is, although she did come from a well-to-do family. "I can't understand how Kikumaru-kun can handle knowing his girlfriend is going to host clubs."

My parents run their own company together, a networking and wiring company. They have a pretty steady and sometimes lumpy income, as Japan is constantly progressing and rising, so they have a lot of projects to work on, even with competition. Currently, as far as I know, they are trying to expand their company out into China and America. Especially China, since it's been expanding a lot lately and they can probably get a lot of work offers there.

Even so though, they don't allow me to just spend off their hard earned money away like Aya and Asuka. I get a set allowance every week, and they gave me a bank account with some money in it for emergencies, but nothing too much that I can ka-ching away. Which is why, rather than a condominium or a nice, posh dormitory, I get a small, but overall cozy, apartment. I prefer it that way anyway, since I'm pretty much used to the ordinary, pauper life, than one of great wealth like Asuka. I don't get why my parents work so hard though, if they are not going to spend their money….maybe they did it to support my good schooling, college and future university? That was most likely it. After all, children are basically investments of parents, and the more they invest in them, the more they get out of it later (hopefully).

"Aya-chan is loyal to Kikumaru-kun. So I'm sure he knows that she is only going to them for fun." I said, although I have no idea of what Kikumaru thought, because I also only recently discovered that Aya goes to host clubs! But I didn't want my best friend's name to be tainted in any way.

"I suppose that's true." Yura agreed. "Though, I still wonder why she goes to them so often, and Asuka-chan too…" She trailed, face clearly showing her disagreement on Aya and Asuka's choices to go. "No matter how friendly they are to us, no matter how much they seem to care about us, in the end, it's all about money."

Silver suddenly flashed into my mind, and I saw Ootori's kind face, his words from the night that seems so long ago, echoing in my ears.

Think of us more like a harbor, or pillar. Someone who will listen to you when needed, when no one else can do it…

I bit my lip. "That's not true."

Yura stared at me, our drinks long forgotten. Her doe eyes were wide, innocent- but they reflected a certain depth of maturity, knowledge. Yura knew a lot more about things than I do; I just lock myself up in my room and paint. I don't get around like her and the others; I was clueless street smart-wise, and I don't even read or watch enough programs to learn a lot. I was constantly stuck in my own world, the worlds which I recreate on paper. "They're nice people." I defended, weakly.

"Yes, they are Kumiko-chan. They are wonderful people…" She continued softly. "But it's a façade. They understand us. They understand what girls, women want. They twist us into their fingers…"

"What about the champagne tower?" I whispered back, feeling white anger swelling within me, bottled. Around me, I hear other young girls giggling among themselves about the latest fads, and hottest celebrity.

"It's a one-time thing. Treating women right the first time, they profit more by the consequent visits." She jotted down more lines on her note paper. "Kumiko-chan, that night at your birthday party, I don't know what Marui-san said to you…"

I recalled the night he took me up to the club roof. But I did not have a chance to linger on the memory of it as I returned my attention to Yura.

"I'm sorry." She apologized, and I looked at her confused. "Sorry for what?"

"Sorry that I wasn't up there with you. I was supposed to keep an eye on you." She meant well, but I couldn't control the sudden anger her words struck. "I didn't need you up there with me. It's not like Marui-san would try to pull off anything!"

"No! Of course he won't. Marui-san is a good person." I cut her off. "What is wrong then?!" The table shook slightly when my leg impetuously kicked the leg of it, albeit unconsciously done. I did not expect Yura, of all people, to say something like that! She made it sound as if Marui and the other hosts were all corrupt people.

"Kumiko-chan, you're one of my best friends. And I don't want you getting tangled into anything that may hurt you." She pleaded with me.

"I'm not getting tangled into anything bad!"

She was silent.

I sighed, and it betrayed my annoyance and anger to Yura. "I'm going to head home now, I have a lot to do for homework." I started to get up, slinging my bag over my shoulders. As I walked past her, Yura lightly grabbed my hand. "I don't think you realize how deep you're already in…" Her eyes, full of care and kindness looked up into my dark gaze. "Kumiko-chan, your feelings regarding Marui-san-"

My answer was instantaneous. "I don't like him." It was true, I don't. I don't know the man well enough to like him. Unlike Asuka or Rinko, I cant hook up with people I don't know well enough…which is why I never had a boyfriend before. I hardly even socialize!

"But you think about him, yes?" Was her return question.

That, I couldn't deny. Since our return from the host club, my thoughts have been constantly on him. She took my silence as a yes.

She released my hand, looking back down at her cold mocha. "That's what host's do to you." Her voice was soft, but sharp. She sipped her mocha, muttering a small goodbye to me before returning to her notes.

I stepped out of the café, the bell chiming behind me as the doors whip close. My walk was brisk, fast, and before I knew it, I was back at my apartment block.

My mind was telling me that what Yura said made sense (to a certain extent, as I had yet to fully understand everything of what she said, and what there is to know about host clubs). But my heart did not want to believe it either.

Atobe, Niou, Ootori, Jirou….Marui….they were all so good to me. They treated me so well.

They gave me a wonderful birthday party for free, they built a champagne tower for me despite knowing I wont have the money to pay for it, they comforted me and talked to me despite my awkward self, they sent me home and took me into their club to keep me safe, they accompanied me like I imagined a real good friend would…

They were good friends.

I couldn't sit still at home. My thoughts were frenzied with the things Yura placed into it. Countless papers were scattered around my room, making it messier than before; all filled with black, scratched out lines of frustration.

It made sense. It was business. But the idea of it is so surreal, unreal to me.

Without thinking it through, and acting purely on my emotions, I phoned Asuka and did the impossible; impossible coming from me at least. But what do you know, I did it!

But man, what was I thinking?!

Thank you guys so much for all your wonderful reviews! I know definitely that if it wasnt because of you guys, I would not have the confidence or will to finish this chapter, and the chapters before that. I would not have known that people actually enjoy reading my stories if it wasnt because of your reviews and messages. Know that I enjoy every single review, no matter how short or long, and each add to my integrity to write the next chapter, and to finish this story. Without your support, I think this would have ended on chapter 2 haha. So...

Thanks you guys!~ Lady Ladington, Lady Aduka, getsugan_kiyone, kagami.95smiles, DS, Midnight Strawberry, demonsadist,Moonlitelover,xXKaira-HimeXx, .Sonata,Kouyan.

And I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as well. It did not have any of our dear boys in it (oh dear ) but I hope you liked it too anyways. Too much of the boys will be bad for health in any case XD But its certainly a progress in the story!

Thanks a lot again, and as usual, reviews are appreciated~