"Fine Line"
"It's not rocket science. It's social science."- Clement Mok
Chapter 22: Rocket Science
~***~
I tapped my chin nervously as I looked left to right, eyes roaming the crowded station. People bumped into me from left and right, but I stood rooted to my spot.
Shiraishi said to wait for him here, and here it shall be. With nervous determination, I withstood all forces running into me, bumping into me, all eager to get on and off the train and off to their destinations.
"Oii~! Ishimaru-san!"
My head perked up and relief flood my face. Finally. "Shiraishi-san." I waved at him as he weaved through the crowded station.
Slight frustration traced his features as he grumbled at the lack of space. "Let's get out of here. Oshitari and the rest will be meeting up with us outside."
True enough, Oshitari Kenya arrived not too long later, along with a male with amazingly wild red hair. "Oiiii~!! Shiraishiiiiii!!" He leaped up and down in front of Shiraishi who had a small amused smile painted across his face.
"Yo, Kin-chan."
"…….." Did he just call him Kin-chan? For a person his age, I don't think the –chan term works really well….even if he does look and act very childishly.
Tooyama Kintarou was his full name….and he wasn't a host. I felt a little bubble of relaxation pop inside of me upon hearing that. After meeting so many hosts in all of these weird and quite spontaneous meets, it's nice to finally meet a new person who wasn't trained to impress of charm. At least, I felt that it'll be easier to be around them when they weren't host. I did always after all, have this sense of insecurity around them, and with this insecurity also came…well, you can hardly deny it, but I felt awe around them.
It was a very confusing feeling, to say the least.
"Heeh~ Kumi-chan then!" Kintarou's grinning face peered up at me, and he shook my hand with a wild fevor. I could feel my teeth chatter.
"Oi,Kin-chan, you're going to knock her teeth off at this rate." Kenya laughed and I flushed at his embarrassing joke.
Kintarou had been away studying in Osaka, attending this special tennis program as a special guest.
"So you play tennis?" I asked him, and he beamed proudly. " Yep! I swear I'll beat the socks off that Koshimae one day!!"
"K-Koshimae…?"
Kenya rolled his eyes and sighed. "He still hasn't gave up on that goal. It's someone that he met during our school days, and he swore to beat him at tennis."
"I see…."
"Are you familiar with the name Echizen?" Shiraishi asked, one eye keeping an eye on Kintarou walking beside him.
Echizen? Echizen, Echizen…where did I hear that name before?
My eyes blinked in realization. "Echizen Nanjirou?!"
"Close, but no." Shiraishi chuckled. "His son- Echizen Ryoma."
"Kin-chan can't read kanji to save his life. He keeps reading it as Koshimae rather than Echizen." Kenya inserted with a guffaw.
"So the one he's talking about is Echizen Ryoma, son of Samurai Nanjirou?!" I could hardly believe my ears. I wasn't too into tennis, but I do know the name Samurai Nanjirou. He had sent rippling waves throughout the tennis world and beyond!
Kintarou was very easy to get along with, what with his happy-go-lucky attitude; not to mention he was hardly interested in charming the hell out of anyone, which is a good thing for me.
Kenya eyed his watch for the umpteenth time, and I could not help but ask, "Who are you waiting for?"
"My cousin."
…….Cousin? Does that mean…
I paled slightly. Don't tell me…
"Yo~ Yuushi!" Kenya waved, and quickly jogged up to his cousin who was approaching us.
I had nothing against Oshitari Yuushi personally. He just scared me with his forward attitude. And it did not help that I caught him checking out the legs of women multiple times, mine included…luckily, I was wearing comfy quarter pants today.
Shiraishi looked around for something, before turning to Oshitari. "Where's the others?"
Yuushi pushed his glasses up. "Shishido and Ootori stopped at a convenience store and will meet up with us later for lunch- if we have any- Niou isn't back from Hawaii yet, and Gakuto is with Marui at Aji-Ichiban."
Shiraishi sighed, eyes turning upwards in a helpless plea. "More sweets….I just can't understand how he maintains his teeth."
"It's called pure genius~" Marui drawled from behind me, startling me in the process. "Geh!"
Marui eyed me dubiously. "Jeez, you scare easily."
My lips twisted downwards in displeasure. He should have known that already! Yet he stills--!! Gah! I turned to Shiraishi. "Shiraishi-san, you didn't tell me they would come…"
"I didn't think I needed to, since I figured you wouldn't mind….you don't, do you?" He asked, ash eyes gazing down at me and I sighed. I don't mind, but that doesn't mean I feel any less uncomfortable with Oshitari here, and Marui picking at my nerves for reasons unknown to me.
When my eyes picked out a group of schoolgirls overhead eyeing me with derision however, only did I realize the oddity of my situation.
It's just me, with a bunch of men who puts women to shame…
I must play the look of a bimbo pretty well right now…
I reached up to rub my temple as the males started discussing on where they should head out to for their accessory shopping. And I could not help but find something really laughable about this; men, talking about shopping.
My lips quivered as a laugh threatened to explode from within me, but I kept it in check. It was rude to laugh at them for this. And very stereotypical of me if I did so. I mean, so what? Its not like its against the rules for guys to shop…though it still is very weird.
They came to the unanimous decision of just randomly walking into one of the many complexes and just ambling about and buy anything they saw fit.
…quite typical of men, if you ask me.
I started to wonder why it is that Shiraishi asked me to tag along anyways, if he was going with such a large group. He had said that it was originally just Kenya and him and Yuushi, and that he didn't know that the others would come along with Yuushi…
"Ah! The new High and Mighty Color Album is out!!" Gakuto exclaimed and quickly bounded over to a CD shop we were passing, disappearing into its midst. I noted the large poster that was plastered over the window, sporting the very album Gakuto seemed very keen on obtaining.
Yuushi noted the quick disappearance of his friend, and gave me a long and forlorn sigh. "I will have to leave you for the time being, Ishimaru-hime."
"Ah…don't mind me…" He still scares me, even if he is a nice gentleman…in a creepy sort out way.
Kenya wandered off away from us not too long later into a shoe shop. We tried to wait for him, but he was taking too long picking out a shoe and Kintarou was getting impatient just sitting there so we left.
"Oiii, Shiraishiiii~ how long are we going to walk? I'm hungry!" Kintarou moaned, rubbing his belly.
Shiraishi's shoulders drooped and another sigh drawled from him." Kin-chan, you just ate!"
"It was just two dorayaki's and a couple of takoyaki's…." He pouted mournfully like a sad dog.
I tapped my chin offhandedly. "And a box of mochi's and a bag of dango…"
"And MY strawberry shortcake!" Marui growled. He still hasn't let go of the incident 30 minutes ago, where his box of cake had been snatched by Kintarou and consumed when he wasn't paying attention.
"But I'm hungryyyy!!" The man wailed and stamped his foot. I stared at him in disbelief. He was much more worse than Marui!
"Why don't we just head to the food court right away…?" My heart went out to the guy upon seeing his thoroughly unhappy face. I mean, it doesn't hurt us to have lunch a little early, right?
Oh, how wrong I was.
It hurt so badly to me. And I can't figure out why.
There was this little but ever so painful twist jabbing at my chest as I watched Marui talk to another girl…
She introduced herself as Ruriko.
~***~
"Ah, p-please, call me Ruriko." She smiled shyly and bowed.
I watched in curious wonder at our creepy coincidental meeting here at Shibuya. If I didn't know better, I'd say she stalked me. But I knew Ruriko to not be that kind of a girl, so it was probably coincidence that she's here as well.
Though it was still scary.
I had walked into the food court area with our small group, already settling my eyes at the dessert stand at the other side, when I heard my name being called by a distinctly familiar voice.
"Marui-kun?"
I turned to find Ruriko, a cup of chilled mocha in her hands as she peered at me in shock, a distinct red trailing across the bridge of her nose.
"So you're one of Marui's regulars?" Shiraishi asked her casually, trying to mae the fidgety girl more relaxed and fit in. She nodded meekly, ducking her head.
"Heeh~ Ne, can I have your--" Kintarou was cut off with a swift pinch on his arm by Shiraishi. He howled in pain.
"No you may not, Kin-chan." Shiraishi grounded out firmly.
The snicker that escaped me could not be helped. I still held a pretty mean grudge at the lost of my cake.
"So what are you doing here, Ruriko-chan?" I asked.
I could not help but notice how unusually quiet Kumiko was, more so than usual, since Ruriko's entrance.
~***~
I didn't like it.
I didn't like how he referred to her by her first name, by –chan.
Since meeting Marui, I had only ever recalled and known him to call me by first name. He called the rest by family names and princesses and ladies; even Aya and the rest.
So hearing him call another girl by her first name is new to me. And I didn't like it one bit.
Didn't like how he called her, didn't like myself for disliking it…
I disliked myself for this, because I know this feeling I was experiencing is unreasonable. Marui and I aren't hooked up, nor did I ever shown any interest in him, so he wasn't exclusive to me only.
I knew full well he had the rights to do whatever he wanted, flirt as much as he wanted, charm as much as he wanted, and call her by Ruriko-chan as much as he wanted…So I shouldn't be feeling this dark emotion swirling within me…
Marui after all, is nothing but a persistent overgrown brat.
Shiraishi is so much better than him. Shiraishi is considerate, gentle and kind.
Marui is intrusive, cocky and obnoxious.
Ruriko's ebony black eyes met mine across the round table, and for a split second, I felt this surging hate towards her. And then it was gone again.
She blinked her large eyes at me, and promptly turned her attention on Marui beside her again.
Ignored me…
Ignorance…ignored…it was a familiar feeling.
Multitudes of scenes replayed in my head, from years recently and years before; kids and teens alike walking past me, glancing at me and then glancing away.
It was a feeling I was familiar to. And I got used to it, that I didn't care much anymore.
But I felt a sting when she ignored me. A very dark and venomous sting reeking of contempt.
"I….I'm going to the b-bathroom…" I stuttered, pushing myself up from my seat.
My eyes briefly glanced towards Marui, whom Ruriko had reeled into her one-sided conversation that was being led by her. A monologue that was full of giggles and stutters played out in a soft, frail voice.
That sting I felt turned red. A very painful red, when I saw Marui smile at her and failed to notice my departure.
With my turned back, I also failed to notice Shiraishi staring after retreating form.
~***~
She disappeared around the corner to the ladies room, and I turned back around and took a sip of my green tea mocha.
"Shiraishiii~ Can I go get some of that curry fish over there?" Kin-chan tugged at my sleeves and I rolled my eyes. "Kin-chan, you're a grown man. Stop asking me for permission and go get it."
He stared at me blankly and nervously. "Ahh….I don't have money…"
With a reluctant sigh, I pulled out my wallet and threw it to him. He cheered consequently and fled the table at breakneck speed, scaring several kids on the way.
I eyed Ruriko who sat across from me inconspicuously. I could feel the glaringly empty space beside me where Kumiko was originally sitting beside Marui.
That redhead as of now is listening with attentiveness to what Ruriko was saying. But I could tell he was bored out of his mind. If he was, why is he letting her continue? Just change the topic to something else! He's a host; he should be able to do that without igniting any suspicion. And honestly, I'm kinda tired about listening to her talk about her pet Chihuahua.
Marui eyes suddenly alighted and he looked around before asking aloud. "Where's Kumiko-chan?"
"Bathroom." I answered shortly, noticing the small hamster glare that ran across Ruriko's features.
"Oh…you think she'd get lost?" Marui pondered and started to look behind him when Ruriko waved her hand offhandedly.
"I think Ishimaru-san should be fine…It's hard to get lost here." She smiled sweetly, pink blushing her cheeks. Marui snorted at her words. "You have no idea…"
Even I could not help the fleeting grin. She'd get lost just going to the bathroom at Club Sacred! It's not that huge….
"She has no sense of direction at all! Absolutely none!" Marui shook his head in amusement and exasperation.
I stood up from my seat, gently pushing the chair back. "I'll go make sure she gets back here."
Marui stared up at me dubiously. "I'll go-" I raised a hand and smiled at him. "It's fine, Marui. You keep Ishikawa-san here company."
Ishikawa Ruriko was not one of my customers. I did not need to listen to her and refer to her by first name.
I didn't want to either.
Perhaps if it was Ishimaru who asked it, then I would call Ishimaru by her first name. But not Ishikawa.
She and Ishimaru were similar, even a blind man would notice that. But…she just wasn't Ishimaru Kumiko. There was something that sets them apart from each other, other than the obvious ones.
Something that Ishikawa has that sets her apart from Ishimaru….or perhaps, its something that Ishimaru has that sets her apart from Ishikawa.
Either way, unreasonable as it is- as I realize- I didn't particularly like Ishikawa.
But being the host that I was trained to be, and my natural nature, I still gave her a warm smile before turning to look for the constant-damsel Ishimaru.
I was kinda glad I didn't meet Ishikawa under host and customer situations. I didn't exactly want to kiss her hand with those black painted nails.
~***~
I splashed cold water all over my face, rubbing my eyes feverously.
I was confusing myself, and distressing myself. Never before had I ever disliked a person upon the first meet. I was usually apathetic to others until I got to know them better.
Then why did I not like Ishikawa Ruriko? I hardly knew her!
She was….sweet, shy and quiet. The type that I should get along with, the type I can find commonality with. But I just can't find it within myself to smile at her, or even speak to her.
Neither could I explain those foreign feelings, which grew the more I see her talk to Marui.
Is it only because she was talking to Marui? Would I still feel the same way if she talked to Shiraishi instead? I wouldn't know, for she hardly spoke to the man. She seemed so….smitten with Marui, only having eyes and ears for him.
And that was what scared and freaked me out the most- the idea that I didn't like her just because she was close to Marui (more so than me?).
I turned off the tap and leaned my head against the frosted mirror before me, feeling the water run down my cheeks like a tear would.
"This is so retarded of you Kumiko…" I muttered softly to myself, feeling rather stupid over everything at the moment. Not only stupid, but frustrated too.
I was confusing myself, and I can't decipher nor understand my own thoughts and emotions. This makes me feel more stupid than ever, because this is my own thoughts and emotions we're talking about, and I can't process them! You'd think that a person should be able to understand their own heart and mind.
When I stepped out of the ladies room, I was surprised to find Shiraishi there, leaning up against one of the shop windows, apparently waiting for me.
"What are you doing here, Shiraishi-san?"
"Just making sure you found your way back to the court." He answered smugly and I felt my fingers twitch. I know that I have a minimal sense of direction ( I refuse to believe that I have none), but they didn't have to rub it in…
Just as I turned to head back towards the food court, Shiraishi pointed the other direction instead. "It's this way."
"…Isn't the food court the other way?" Was I wrong, or was he wrong? Cause I swore I passed by that boutique on my way here…
He shook his head. "We're not going back to the food court, yet anyways. I wanted to check something out."
"Oh…okay." I tailed after him, passing by various shops which sold eccentric yet interesting items. Shiraishi led us to a shop that sold ties.
"You're getting a tie?" Of all things he can buy, a tie?
"I work as a host, Ishimaru-san. I wear ties on a near daily basis." That is true…most of them wore suits and the like, though there were times I saw a few hosts dressing not in suits but casual clothes (like Shishido that one night, on my birthday).
I picked up the price tag of one tie folded neatly in a box, spluttered at the numbers I saw and backed out of the shop to get a look at the shop name.
"Elude Ties?" I didn't know what kind of a brand it was, but I do know I was never going into any shop with that name again.
Shiraishi rolled his eyes when I came back and eyed the pricey ties suspiciously and with doubt. "It's not that expensive…Even if it is, as long as we get what our money paid for."
"Easy for you to say." He should know that not everyone makes a lot of money.
I laughed when I saw a black tie that had heart patterns all over it. "You should get this one." I held it up to his face and he blanched. "That's such a gaudy looking tie."
"It's cute and comical though- I'm sure your customers would like it."
"At my expense, yes." Shiraishi waved the tie away. I placed it back to its original position with a laugh. It would have been interesting to see him wear that tie.
As we left the shop, Shiraishi asked me something which caught me off guard.
"Do you not like Ishikawa-san, Ishimaru-san?"
I stared at him, emotions slowly creeping out of my face and leaving it blank.
"I don't dislike her."
'I hate her.'
He walked up to me, pocketing his credit card. He had made sure that he took out his credit cards before handing his wallet to Kintarou, or else that redhead would have surely bust a hole through his bank account.
"I see."
"Why?"
He shrugged broad shoulders. "I don't know….you've just been really quiet back there." Aren't I always quiet though? And what has me being queit got to do with my affinity with Ruriko?
…But I knew Shiraishi to be a really sharp person.
~***~
It's true that Ishimaru-san is usually quiet. But she just seemed quieter than usual, and not in a good way. It was an awkward and gloomy type of silence.
Whenever she was quiet, she'd just stare aimlessly at something, or just watch us do whatever we do.
But back there when Ishikawa joined us, she'd rather stare at her hands, fiddling them with each other instead; refusing to raise her head. And if she did, it would be to stare at Ishikawa (or was it Marui?).
If I didn't know better, I'd say she….
I shook my head, dispelling my thoughts. Nah, I knew better than that.
~***~
Rather than heading back to the food court, the two of us ended up wandering around instead. He wasn't hungry, and neither was I. So we figured it would be pointless for us to go back to the food court right away. Kintarou would probably be fine as long as he stuck with Marui; although Shiraishi was worried that Marui might ditch him as payback. Then again, Marui would probably be stuffing himself as well, if he wasn't talking to Ruriko…
I ran my hand along various glossy covers before pulling one out of its place.
We stopped at Kinokuniya, having nothing else to do. It was quite packed in the bookstore today, seeing as it was the weekend. Loads of students were here buying new materials, books and mangas to read.
Shiraishi was glancing through some magazines on gardening, and I was next to him picking at art magazines and looking for what's new on the art scene.
It wasn't too long before we got bored though, having found nothing that interested us in this months edition. We found ourselves at the fiction section, laughing at some of the books which we found the plots funny.
"Another vampire romance?" I moaned in exasperation.
Shiraishi turned the book to its backside, and read out loud the synopsis.
"Terra was a normal human girl, living an ordinary human life…until she met Blake." I stopped him before he could go on reading. "Stop, stop! My ears and heart, they hurt!"
He chuckled and placed the book back on its shelf. "I'm sure Kenya's cousin would have got a good laugh reading this. He's quite a romance novel critic."
Oh yea…Kenya did tell me once before that his cousin had an interest in romance novels, and was even writing some of his own.
"But I find it silly, really, for these authors to write such novels and attempt to describe the emotions felt by the characters. The heart after all, is no easy matter to understand." I watched as Shiraishi ran his fingers across the rows of romance novels, before coming to a stop and going back the other way.
"What's even more silly is that they make their emotions so…perfectly fine, for lack of better words."
"What do you mean?"
"…You can't unconditionally love someone just like that, like they make it in the novels. Take this girl in that vampire novel for example. She loves him whole heartedly, despite being a vampire." He flipped it open to the middle and read a couple of quick passages before putting it back. " I keep reading about how she feels regarding the vampire; love and pure love only. But I don't see any other forces working on her."
"Love…does not affect only the heart. It affects the mind, the body and the senses." The more and more Shiraishi spoke, the more and more I felt afraid regarding my own thoughts and emotions.
"True, reason may not be able to understand the reasons of the heart. But…" He trailed off.
"But?" I wanted to know what he will say. There were many things which Shiraishi said that made sense, and many of which I agree and disagree with. But the fact remains is that his words had piqued my interests, and started churning my own mind that had jammed up when I was in the bathroom, trying to configure my head; but that failed and all the gears seemed to have locked on itself with confusion and unreasonable fear. Shiraishi's voice and words were slowly igniting the gears back to life, helping me clear up my head even if he did not know it.
Or did he?
"But the idea of a perfect love is silly."
…Perfect love is silly?
Why is that? Is it because the existence of such a thing is impossible? Shiraishi had shrugged and did not answer my question, merely shook his head and smiled.
Perfect love….what did he mean exactly, by perfect love?
A love like Romeo and Juliet? Like Cinderella and her prince? Snow White and her Prince Charming?
Those were fairytale love.
Such a love should not exists….
!!?
Is that what Shiraishi had meant? That those love stories we see in books and sonnets are merely just the figments of imagination by their respective authors?
Such a powerful and fine type of love should not be able to exist in our world, where everything is ran in the system of self-interest incentive.
The more I think about it, the more it made sense.
I feel my own clouded mind clearing up, but a mist still remained- I still did not know why I disliked (hated) Ishikawa Ruriko so much.
I wanted to dispel this emotion, and redeem myself. I felt like I had done something sinful and wrong by being so prejudice towards Ruriko for no reason. I figured that I should talk and open myself up to Ruriko; she was a nice girl, from what I can see at least, and I should be able to get along fine with her easily especially with the added bonus of her being a female and not a male.
But my heart furiously rejected this idea my mind conjured.
It was like they were now two different entities working against each other, trying to decide what I should do and should not do separately.
I rubbed my head as a dull pain ebbed into me. A hand on my shoulder caused me to look up, and meet with a pair of dark black eyes, and then lavender, before I turned to Shiraishi beside me.
"You alright?"
I nodded and smiled at him, then I tried to smile at Ruriko and Marui beside her. But I can't seem to pull my lips upwards.
"Yea, I'm fine."
My heart and mind shouldn't be rocket science.
Lol. Ironically, I was also dissing myself when I wrote Shiraishi's lines regarding romance novels D:
A bit swamped with homework right now, and my eye isnt helping by being sorely busted, so I'm going to make this quick =[ And I'm sooooryy for the reaaaally slooooooow story progress. And even I'm getting bored of the lack of Marui and Kumiko action! I'm trying to get these two together within the next...I dunnoe. Maybe 10 chapters? Or is that too long? Dx omg lol I suck at planning my stories=(
Juunin- xD thanks a lot haha~
PhoenixRage92- I knoooow. What I wouldnt give to be her? =( Yuck, school Dx school is taking away my fanfiction time =(
kiki123- thank you~
Lady Ladington- yea...I'm starting to feel that its a bit unrealistic for her to go there for free so often x_X Or maybe our PoT males are just extremely generous people~ xD Well, this story is going to be pretty long I figured, since theres this little arc that I had in my head for sometime now, and I really want to bring it in but I just have no idea how xD
Fon-chan- yea, I was thinking of making a side story about Akaya and Kumiko next time, after I finish this xD It'll probably be a separate story from FL, but takes place in the same world and generally same time line xD
Marui=L - aww thank you T^T I'm undeserving of such words=(
PoT Addict- haha I dont mind you requesting, although I cant guarantee that I can do it lol we'll see first xD I might be able to find some really retarded reason and have the whole cast sent to Osaka or something haha but thank you~! x3