19. The Next Day

The candle had been burned down to nothing, and still nobody had come. Without the candle flame to focus on, Zoe was struggling to keep her eyes open. Gawain wasn't a real distraction either; he was just lying on the bed, still pale, still unconscious. He hadn't even woken up once.

Zoe yawned and rubbed her eyes, but she still felt herself nodding off. Zoe pinched her arm, trying to use the slight pain to stay awake. It worked, but she was probably going to bruise there-it was the fifth time she'd pinched that exact spot since the candle guttered.

She glared at Gawain, momentarily jealous that he got to sleep until he woke up. Then her tired mind remembered that he had been impaled by a sword, and, therefore, it made no sense for her to be jealous of him. He was probably in an enormous amount of pain.

Zoe slid down from where she had been sitting on the bed to the floor, leaning her head against the edge of the bed and looking up at Gawain's side. He was still breathing, but when Zoe tugged on his hand it slid limply off the bed. Still unconscious, then, Zoe thought.

Just as she was about to give up completely and go to sleep, the door burst open and the Marius, the Roman's surgeon came in. Lucia had told Zoe about him yesterday - how he had gone into medicine after his wife had died in childbirth and how he hated to be called a 'healer' due to his firm belief in observation and what Zoe would call science. He was also a rare example of an atheist, having given up his faith in any and all gods when the child his wife had died to give birth to sickened and died despite his prayers and best efforts.

Zoe felt pity for him, in an abstract way, but he was also bad-tempered, unbearably arrogant and he smelled like cattle. So when he banged the door open and loudly demanded that all unwashed, uneducated laundry maids were to leave the room immediately. Zoe glared at the unwelcome visitor.

'Be quiet or you'll wake him,' she hissed tiredly.

'Don't be daft, girl. You could stab him and the boy wouldn't wake up, see?' With that Marius prodded Gawain's side, just above where Zoe knew the wound to be. Gawain's breath hissed in, and his body shrank away from the surgeon's finger, but he didn't wake up. 'Now get out.'

Zoe, too tired to argue with him, agreed, with a stern admonishment to not do that again.

'What are you, his mother? I cure people, not make them worse, now get out!' Marius snarled, hurrying her out the door and slamming it behind her.

So now Zoe was more or less awake, although not thinking very clearly. She wanted to go back to Braewyn's house, her home here, and sleep for a day. But first, she had to find Braewyn. And she couldn't remember which room the old woman was sleeping in. And there were sleeping knights all around her. Damn.

If I were Braewyn early in the morning, where would I be? Zoe thought, leaning against the wall outside Gawain's room. The obvious answer was, of course, at her house, but Zoe doubted that Braewyn would be there. She'd been tired last night, and the woman needed her sleep in her old age. The next most obvious answer was, then, in bed, but Zoe had no idea where that was. The final choice was the infirmary.

Zoe pushed herself off the wall and meandered through the building until she reached it. She could hear somebody moaning pathetically on the other side of the door. Not good moaning, like the kind she sometimes heard through Lancelot's door when he had a woman in there with him, but the kind of 'I'm in so much pain I want this to stop' moaning that made her feel sick to her stomach.

She took a deep breath and opened the door to find Lucia pulling the bandages off of a Roman soldier's arm.

'Ah, Zoe, good, you can hold this,' Lucia said, glancing up from her work and handing Zoe some clean, damp cloths. 'When the bandage is off, wipe his arm. I'll put some more paste on, then you hold the new bandage in place while I wrap his arm again.'

Zoe knelt down next to Lucia, smiling tiredly at the Roman soldier. He looked so young, as if he wasn't able to shave yet. The boy smiled back tightly, pale and sweating and obviously in pain.

'Have you seen Braewyn?' Zoe asked, doing as she was told and wiping the wound with the damp cloths.

'No. She's probably still sleeping, because I haven't seen her here,' Lucia answered.

'When did you arrive?' Zoe asked, watching as Lucia smeared new paste over the wound. The scent of herbs mixed with the tang of blood in the air and Zoe tried to breathe through her mouth instead of her nose.

'I came here at dawn. I knew there'd be more work than Marius and Braewyn could handle. Where did you get your clothes?' Lucia asked, finally noticing Zoe's , and cocking one eyebrow in amusement.

'Laundry. Couldn't go home and my dress was disgusting,' Zoe replied.

'I'm sorry, I should have thought to get you and Braewyn something to wear,' Lucia said, gesturing to her friend to hold the bandage in place.

'It's no trouble, these are actually comfortable,' Zoe confessed, keeping her hand steady while Lucia wound the bandage around her patient's arm.

'You look as if you haven't slept.'

'I got a couple of hours.'

'Go home and sleep, Zoe. What were you doing all night?'

'Braewyn asked me to watch Gawain. He's the most seriously injured of the knights, and I was supposed to make sure he didn't get a fever or tear his stitches until Marius came this morning. I guess there was nobody else to do it.'

'There, that's done,' Lucia said, tying off the bandage and pulling Zoe's fingers out from underneath. It still held tight enough, and the Roman boy thanked them.

'Shoo, get out of here. Go sleep, Zoe.'

'I think I want a proper bath first,' Zoe replied. 'I still smell like blood.'

Lucia looked at her, eyes dark and bleak, and nodded. 'I understand. But make sure you sleep, even if there are nightmares waiting for you.'

Zoe said goodbye to her friend and started the walk out of the fort.

'Zoe! Where are you going? And what are you wearing?' a voice called out from behind her.

It was Kay, looking entirely too cheerful for this time of the morning. His hair was wet, and there were damp patches on his shirt, as if he'd pulled it on over wet skin without bothering to dry off.

'I was heading to the baths,' Zoe said, frowning.

'I was just there, it makes me feel so much better the morning after a battle. Nice to have a bit of a soak to relax, yes? But you don't look like you've slept. Or eaten. Have you eaten yet?' Kay asked in concern.

'No,' Zoe stammered, a bit overwhelmed by the energetic knight.

'Well then you must come and eat. I know Arthur will want to thank you for what you did.'

'How do you know?'

'Arthur was awake when I left, and Lamorak told me he told Arthur while we were at the baths. Now come on, I'm starving.'

Zoe let herself be dragged along by Kay into the room with the Round Table. It was lit with a few torches, and there were a few knights sitting around. Caradoc, Dinadan, Percival, Dagonet, Lancelot and Arthur were all at the table, in various states of alertness. Kay let out a loud 'Hello this fine morning!' and the knights all groaned to see him. It looked like Zoe wasn't the only one who thought the knight was annoyingly awake.

'Kay, do me a favour and shove your sword up your arse,' Dinadan snarled.

Zoe remembered that Dinadan was not a morning person. She'd given up delivering any of his clothes until late in the morning, if not in the afternoon. The first few times she'd tried, she'd had various things thrown at her.

'Don't talk like that in front of ladies,' Kay said, nearly skipping over to a seat three spaces away from any other occupied ones.

'Ladies?' Lancelot asked, eyes sparkling briefly before finding Zoe. Then they turned flat and angry, and Lancelot looked away. 'It's just Zoe.'

'What on earth are you wearing?' Percival asked her, eyes wide.

'Erm…'

'You might want to…' Percival tugged his own shirt up a few inches, staring steadfastly at a point over Zoe's head.

'Did you have to do that?' Kay asked plaintively. 'I was enjoying the view.'

Zoe glared at him and tugged her shirt until it covered her a little more.

'Kay.'

'Sorry Arthur.'

'Don't mind him, Zoe, come, sit down and have some breakfast,' Arthur offered, gesturing towards Jols, who appeared out of nowhere with a seat that he put next to Arthur, on the other side of Lancelot.

'But there was already a chair there,' Zoe said, sitting on the chair Jols had brought over.

Arthur reached over her and tapped a carving on the table as Jols went to grab another cup and a pottery plate.

'It says Agravaine,' Arthur explained, not knowing Zoe could read it perfectly well. 'This was his seat. He was killed on our second mission. The empty chairs at this table, and the carvings at the places remember those we have lost.'

'Oh,' Zoe murmured, leaning over to trace her fingers over the carving of a young, smiling boy with curly hair riding on a horse. She could nearly feel the wind rushing through the curls.

'Jols, could you perhaps find Zoe something more…suitable to wear?" The commander asked. "Zoe, help yourself to any food on the table. It's only cold meat and bread and wine.'

'Thanks,' Zoe said to Jols as he put the plate and cup in front of her and she reached to pour herself some wine. She wouldn't trust the water here for anything, and, apparently, neither would the knights.

'Here,' Arthur offered Zoe some bread. 'It's quite fresh. Baked just last week.'

Zoe accepted it eagerly, reflecting briefly on how it was so easy for her to think of week-old bread as fresh now. Back at home, week old bread was disgusting. Bread here, though, was baked once every few months and was kept in storage. It grew mouldy and stale and disgusting, but it was a choice between that and starvation. Zoe chose mouldy bread.

'Thanks,' Zoe said around a mouthful of bread.

'It's the least I can do,' Arthur said. 'A poor thanks for your aid to me when I was injured.'

'I didn't do anything to deserve it,' Zoe denied, looking up from the bread at Arthur.

'You healed me.'

'I nearly didn't,' Zoe confessed, tracing Agravaine's young face. 'I was so scared, I…couldn't look at it. There was blood, and…it was your body just bleeding…and I just couldn't.'

Zoe didn't realize her hands were shaking until Arthur grabbed them and squeezed.

'But you did. You came back to me, and then you stayed. Bravery, Zoe, is not the same thing as fearlessness, and your actions were brave, Zoe,' Arthur said, smiling gently at her.

She looked up at Arthur, who nodded encouragingly.

'Next time-if there is a next time-I'll do better. I promise I'll do better.'

'I believe in you,' Arthur said.

Zoe took a mouthful of wine. It was extremely alcoholic, and the flavour was unlike the wine Zoe drank with dinner in 2008. It was a lot rougher, for one thing, and it was also quite sweet.

The knights discussed patrols and woads and bragged about their deeds in the battle, all things that Zoe couldn't stand listening to, so she concentrated instead on her food and tried to ignore Lancelot's boasts.

'Zoe, how is Braewyn?' Arthur asked suddenly.

'I don't know. She's still asleep; she was tired.'

'From what I hear, she was working from the end of the battle till nearly dawn.'

'She was,' Zoe nodded.

'She shouldn't do that anymore. She's getting old, and she needs to take care of herself.'

'Then who takes care of us?' Lancelot asked from Arthur's other side. 'I know you care for her, but she cares for us like you do.'

'And she won't let anyone suffer while she can help them,' Zoe added. 'If that means a sleepless night for her, then so be it.'

'And she is, by far, the best healer we have,' Lancelot finished.

'I know. And I still wish she would take as much care with herself as she does with my men,' Arthur sighed. 'She's important to me.'

'Why?' Zoe asked.

'My mother died when I was very young. After that Braewyn did her best to help me.'

Zoe nodded, and took another mouthful of bread, this time having some cold meat with it. The meat wasn't actually cold-it was closer to room temperature, and, from the taste, it was probably rabbit. A year ago Zoe would have baulked at eating a fluffy bunny. Now, her first thought when she saw one of the wild ones was 'stay away from my garden or I'll eat you'. She smiled at the thought.

'I don't think Braewyn would approve of the clothes you're wearing, though. Where did you get them from?'

'The laundry. I was tired, I couldn't go home, and I didn't want to sleep in my dress-it was covered in blood,' Zoe explained. 'I didn't think anyone would mind.'

'Believe me, nobody minds,' Caradoc called out from his seat halfway around the table.

Zoe looked down, pulled her shirt closed again, and glared at him. 'I'm wearing your trousers.'

'What?'

'They were the only ones anywhere near short enough.'

Kay sniggered, which earned him an evil glare from Caradoc. 'I'm not short.'

'Just…you are,' Kay said, laughing and ducking the bread Caradoc threw at him.

'So whose shirt is it?'

'Tristan's. Well, it was. He said I could keep it,' Zoe said, taking a sip of wine. Wine with breakfast, Zoe thought ruefully, no wonder life expectancy was so low- the knights' livers would probably fail by the time they reached thirty.

Kay and Caradoc looked at her, then each other and broke into nearly identical grins.

'So…Tristan gave you that shirt?'

'Mmhmm,' Zoe hummed in agreement, reaching for a bit more meat.

'Hear that, Dinadan?'

'I heard,' the surly knight replied. 'Lay off until everybody's awake.'

'Zoe, you've seen Tristan?' Lancelot asked, ignoring the bickering knights further around the table.

'I saw him late last night. He needed his arm sewn up,' Zoe replied.

'He must have gone out again,' Arthur murmured. 'Ah, Jols. You found a dress?'

'Found one in Lancelot's chambers,' Jols replied, handing the garment to Zoe.

'This will be too long,' Zoe said, grateful for the clothing but unsure if it would fit her. Standing, she held the dress against herself.

'Zoe, use my office to change, Jols will show you the way. Then finish your breakfast, and Kay can escort you home.'

Zoe nodded, grateful for the legendary man's kindness and allowed herself to be led away to Arthur's office. It was dark, but she could see that the desk was covered in wax tablets, parchment sheets and scrolls and a few small stone tablets, all with Latin writing on them. Zoe was tempted to go over and read them, but in the end, she ignored it and opted instead for struggling out of her clothes. Tristan's shirt came off easy enough, but Caradoc's trousers were a trial to remove.

'Stupid knight with his stupid, skinny legs,' Zoe grumbled as she kicked the trousers off viciously, nodding in satisfaction as she heard them hit the wall.

She pulled on the dress, which was made of finer wool than Zoe was used to, and wriggled until her arms and head were coming out the appropriate holes. She looked down to see a good four inches of material was trailing along the ground all the way around her. Then Zoe started to do the ties at the back up, and discovered that not only was the dress's owner much taller than she was, but she was also much thinner. So once Zoe finished tying it all up, it was really, really tight, particularly in the chest area.

She sighed, tugged at the neckline of the dress again and picked up the trousers and shirt she'd been wearing in one hand, with as much of her trailing skirt as she could and opened the door.

Jols was outside, and offered to take the shirt and trousers. Zoe handed over Caradoc's trousers, but told Jols that the shirt was hers. She got no other reaction from him than a raised eyebrow, and he led her back to the Round Table.

'Zoe, what condition was Tristan in when you saw him?' Lancelot asked as soon as she sat down at the table again. 'I know you're not competent to make medical judgements,' Zoe winced at the reminder of her hesitancy to help Arthur, 'but did he look tired? Was his movement impaired by the injury?'

'He looked the same as normal, and he could move his arm, but I think he was in pain when he did,' Zoe answered, picking up what she promised herself would be her last piece of bread.

'I don't want to have to order him confined to barracks, Lancelot. It never works with Tristan,' Arthur said.

'Try anyway. And if he sneaks out again, chain him to his bed,' Lancelot snarled.

Zoe, busy trying to pretend she wasn't listening, nearly started giggling at the idea of Lancelot chaining Tristan to a bed. Kinky, she thought.

'Zoe, did Tristan go to you to be stitched up, or just for the materials to do it himself?' Arthur asked suddenly, turning to her.

'He wanted to do it himself, but I wouldn't let him,' Zoe replied.

Lancelot snorted, and Zoe blushed. 'It was his arm, he wouldn't be able to see, or reach well enough to close it properly. It was that or let him bleed.'

'You seemed to have no problems letting people bleed, Zoe,' Lancelot said.

'Lancelot,' Arthur warned, and the knight sat back in his chair, glaring a little at the girl.

After an awkward pause, Lancelot said 'If he just wanted the paste, he's probably fine.'

Arthur nodded his agreement as Zoe swallowed the last of her bread and stood up, careful of the length of her skirt.

'Thank you for the food, Arthur,' she said. 'I'd like to go home now, though.'

'Of course.' Arthur looked at Kay and beckoned the boisterous knight over. 'Take her home,' Arthur commanded.

Kay nodded and led Zoe (who held her skirt up to avoid stepping on it) to the stables. There were signs that people had been fighting there yesterday, like blood splatters or a few raw cuts to posts, and the horses still seemed rather uneasy. Zoe saw Aleron, and he waved at her from where he was pitching hay.

'Here we go,' Kay said when they reached a stall with a sturdy brown and white horse inside. 'Just give me a moment to saddle her, and you'll be home again.'

Zoe watched while Kay hauled a saddle (it looked quite heavy, but what did she know?) off the rail next to his horse and put it on the mare's back. He fastened buckles, kneed his horse in the stomach for some reason and fiddled around with it until he was satisfied. The horse didn't look too thrilled with the knight, and kept on shifting and tossing her head.

'Hey, girl, calm down. We're just going on a little ride. Hmm?' Kay petted his horse on her nose, talking to her like Zoe would talk to Ripper, her dog, when he was in a particularly bad mood. It seemed to work, because the horse butted its head gently against Kay's chest. Kay kissed its nose, and beckoned to Zoe.

'You ride?' he asked.

Zoe shook her head mutely, and was promptly seized by the waist and put in the saddle. Zoe immediately leant forwards and grabbed the horse's mane. It just didn't feel safe up here. The horse shifted and Zoe whimpered a little. She was really quite high up, and the wood to either side didn't look soft to land on.

'Don't be so scared, Zoe! She's a darling!' Kay cried, gathering the reins and leading the horse out to the yard with Zoe clinging to its mane.

Aleron came over to hold the horse while Kay climbed up behind Zoe and wrapped his arms around her to get the reins from Aleron.

'You all right, Zoe?' Aleron asked, grinning up at her.

'I'm fine. A bit tired, but fine. How about you?' Zoe asked, looking him over for any sign of injury.

'I know better than to get mixed up in all that fighting,' Aleron replied with a wink.

'Little guy just hid up in the hayloft rather than get in the way,' Kay said, his voice sounding a lot older than it had before. 'Smarter than some others.'

Aleron's grin faded, and he nodded to the knight as he kicked the horse's sides to get it moving.

'I'll see you later, Zoe!' Aleron called, and Zoe twisted in the saddle to wave back to him.

Kay was respectful of Zoe's nervousness, and kept the horse to a walk the whole way back to her house. Then he helped her down off his 'darling', leapt back on and kicked her into a gallop, whooping like a hooligan.

Zoe opened the door of her house. It was strangely silent, and smelled slightly weird. Despite the smell, which Zoe identifie as being slightly rotten meat, nothing had changed inside it. During the raid on the fort, it would have been a perfect opportunity to ransack the house. Zoe hadn't expected to find any of her meagre possessions left, let alone completely untouched like this.

Zoe closed the door and tore off the too-tight and too-long dress, pulling on one of her own work dresses. She needed a new one, the blood would never come out of the one she had been wearing last night. Braewyn would need a new one as well, Zoe thought, picking up the dress Jols had given to her. Perhaps she could ask Blanchefleur to re-sew this one to fit Braewyn…

She tried to clean the house a little, by throwing the rotting meat away and putting out fresh hellebore, but kept going to the door to look at the surrounding forests. There were woads in there. Somewhere. They had weapons. They could come here and kill her without any warning. She just didn't feel safe. Or particularly clean. She smelled terrible, she realized. And she had…stuff in her hair. Blood and other things she didn't want to think about. She wanted a bath.

Going to the alcove where Braewyn kept their money, Zoe took out just enough to pay the attendant at the baths. Since she had started working their savings had increased, and Braewyn had told her that she was welcome to take money from the box whenever she wanted, but rarely did. It just didn't feel right, as Braewyn was the one who provided most of the money. Braewyn grew a lot of their vegetables in the garden, and, combined with the fees she got in kind from her healing work, they were well fed. Zoe always got paid in coins, though, so most of her money went straight into the little box in the wall. Braewyn rarely got paid in coins, but when she did it was usually more than Zoe made in a week.

Zoe grabbed some of Braewyn's homemade soap, knowing she wouldn't get anything but oil at the bathhouse and took a clean change of clothes for after her bath. All this she stuffed into a sack made out of on old wheat bag and walked out the door as quickly as she could, darting glances back to the forest in case there were woads around.

She took her time in the baths, ignoring the other women there and scrubbing frantically at her skin until it turned pink from the friction. Then she jumped into the hottest pool and stayed there until she thought she was about to boil. It hurt, but by the time she got out, dried, combed her hair and dressed, she felt clean again.

And, once she was clean, the woods around her house seemed less threatening. They were trees and leaves rather than woads watching for their next opportunity to strike.

Zoe looked for Braewyn, or signs that the old woman had been home, but there were none. Zoe guessed that she must be staying at the fort to look after the wounded soldiers still in the infirmary, so she emptied out the sack she'd carried to the baths and put clean clothes for Braewyn in it.

She didn't want to go back to the fort. What she really wanted to do was lie down and sleep for a week without dreams, but it wouldn't be right until she knew how Braewyn was doing.

Also, her friend could probably do with some of her herbs. She looked around for plants or jars or boxes that would be easy to carry and picked a few up to take to Braewyn. The others were too large, or would have their brittle, dried leaves smashed to pieces in the sack.

The walk to the fort seemed to take forever, with people stopping and asking after the health of friends, or family. Somehow news that she'd been helping the healers last night had gotten around, and everyone wanted to know how the soldiers, particularly the knights, were doing.

Zoe hated to disappoint people, but she hadn't asked the names of soldiers she'd tended to. She told them that Gawain was seriously injured, and had been unconscious at dawn, that Arthur had been wounded, but seemed to be healing well and that the others were fine, they only had scratches.

But the people asking about their loved ones, rather than for general news, kept asking, and Zoe just didn't know. She didn't know the soldiers well enough to reassure them, and, knowing how many people had died, or were seriously wounded, she couldn't say that they were probably fine and just tired.

Finally she reached the fort, but there was a crowd around the gate. It seemed that those people who hadn't pestered Zoe for news had gone straight to the source of it all - the fort. There were Roman soldiers on duty who were stubbornly refusing entry to all civilians, but giving what news they could.

Zoe elbowed and squirmed her way to the front of the crowd, stepping on toes and shoving people out of the way. She tended to get angry when she hadn't gotten enough sleep, but it did make getting to the soldiers and the gates much easier.

'I need to get in. I've got things for Braewyn,' Zoe said to one of the Romans, a medium-sized man with a bandage around his left forearm and mismatched eyes.

'What sort of things?'

'Braewyn hasn't been home-she's covered in blood and she doesn't have any other clothes to change into. Also, I brought some of her herbs; I thought she might need them.'

'Go in,' the man said, gesturing for the other legionnaires to let her pass.

'That easy?' Zoe asked, surprised.

'You helped me last night, and you've got a good excuse to get back in,' the man said, gesturing to his arm.

Zoe looked at him closely, but she couldn't remember treating him. All the faces had blurred together in her mind, but she thought she could remember the wound. A deep graze across the underside of his arm, had needed several stitches and a tight bandage to stop the bleeding.

'Thank you for that, Zoe' the man said, rubbing his arm a little.

'How do you know my name?' Zoe asked, walking between the gap in the soldiers, who closed it immediately after she'd been through.

'I'm Liliana's uncle. Titus.'

'Nice to meet you, and I hope you heal quickly,' Zoe said. 'Thanks for letting me in.'

She ran off into the fort, following the sickeningly familiar corridors to the infirmary. Sure enough, Braewyn was there, looking haggard and frail.

'Zoe? Didn't Arthur send you home?' the old woman asked when she caught sight of the young woman coming through the doors.

'He did, but I went to the baths, and then I thought you might like clean clothes and some of your herbs,' Zoe said, offering the things to Braewyn.

'Thank you, Zoe. That's very thoughtful,' Braewyn said, taking the sack. 'Now get out and go to sleep.'

'Yes ma'am!' Zoe agreed enthusiastically and left the fort, smiling to Titus when she passed him at the gates, avoiding the people desperate for knowledge and hurrying back to her house.

She went to the ditch out the back to go to the toilet, suddenly realizing that if there were woads out there, they'd be watching her pee. She couldn't help herself and she started to laugh as she washed her hands. She probably looked crazy, laughing as she at absolutely nothing at all, but she didn't care. There was nobody there to see her. Not even any woads.

She got out of her dress and hesitated before putting on Tristan's old shirt. It was strangely comforting, but she didn't now how a shirt she associated with a man who had given her death threats could be comforting. She was too tired to puzzle it out, and curled up in the fur-pile instead, and went to sleep.

She remembered waking up a few times, her heart racing and gasping for breath, but never for long enough to really remember it. She guessed she was having nightmares, because she always woke up terrified, with a vague impression of blood and pain before that faded and she fell asleep again.

Gawain was in front of her, all golden hair and bright smile. 'Why are you crying?' he asked, walking forwards to embrace Zoe. 'Don't cry.' Zoe pulled away, pressing her hands to her mouth when Gwain's chest burst apart. She could see his heart. It was beating.

'I'm here for you, what more do you want?' Gawain asked, his teeth tinged red with blood. 'Do you want my heart? I can give it to you.' He reached up with one bloody hand, gripping it tightly and pulling it.

Zoe screamed and sat up just when he pulled it out of his chest, looking around in a panic. She was in a cold sweat and shivering. She looked around desperately, and she sighed in relief when she saw no-one. She threw the furs away and got up, pulling Tristan's shirt off and her dress on.

She walked out of the house to check the position of the sun, and guessed it would be about dinnertime, although she wasn't particularly hungry. Braewyn would be though, Zoe thought, and sluggishly got the ingredients for a vegetable stew together.

It was nearly done when she heard hooves outside. Opening the door, she looked out to see Dinadan and Caradoc on their horses. Caradoc had Braewyn's thin arms wrapped around his middle, and when the knights stopped Dinadan helped the old woman down from Caradoc's horse. Her hair was wet from the baths and she looked as if she was so tired she was nearly falling down.

'Stay out here with the knights, Zoe. I want to change,' Braeywn said as she walked slowly through the door, as if she was five times heavier than she had been this morning.

'There's stew on the fire, it's nearly ready,' Zoe said, closing the door behind the old woman. 'How is Gawain? And Arthur?' Zoe asked eagerly, turning to the knights.

'He's alive. He woke up for a bit today, so Braewyn says he'll probably make it,' Dinadan said with a grin. He was generally pleasant to be around in the evening, he was just a complete and utter bastard in the morning. 'Arthur fainted a bit after noon-Marius says he was pushing himself too hard and has to stay in bed for a day. Lancelot's hovering over him like a mother-hen. Just don't tell him I said that.'

'And everyone else?' Zoe asked.

'We're fine. Lamorak is dead tired, Bedivere's in Arthur's study with Percival, Galahad, Bors and Dagonet were dicing last I saw. Kay's out at the tavern, so that mean's he's fine. Tristan got back and went to his room and I haven't heard a thing.'

'I looked in on him, he's fine,' Caradoc said.

'Oh thank God,' Zoe sighed.

'By the way, Lamorak mentioned something about indecent clothing. That would be the shirt Tristan gave you, yes?' Dinadan asked.

'Probably,' Zoe mumbled, blushing while Caradoc laughed.

'It's nothing to blush about, Zoe, he quite enjoyed it, I think,' the knight said. Dinadan elbowed him.

'Why did he give you his shirt anyway?' Dinadan asked, fending off Caradoc's playful punches.

'I was wearing it, he came in, and I stitched up his arm. Then he left and told me I could keep the shirt because 'it suited me'!' Zoe explained.

For some reason, that only made the knights laugh harder.

'What?'

'It suits you, definitely,' Caradoc said. 'We'll head back now-Tristan brought back a few rabbits for dinner.'

'Goodbye. Thank you for escorting me home,' Braewyn said from the doorway. 'Come in, Zoe. Our food is ready.'

The two women ate and cleaned in silence. When Zoe was collecting the scraps and Braewyn was getting ready for bed, Braewyn started to speak.

'I know you're young, and that's why I'm telling you this. Do not get involved with the knights. They're soldiers, they die. They are slaves, and when they're freed, they will leave. They do not marry, they rarely acknowledge their children, they do not commit to a woman. I don't think any of them, particularly Tristan, would know how to make you happy, Zoe. Do not get involved.'

Zoe looked at Braewyn, completely stunned by her assumptions. 'I'm not involved with them at all! Tristan?' Zoe laughed. 'No, there's nothing. Anyway, my friends have warned me of the same thing. I'm friends with Lucia, Braewyn, I know about the risks of involvement with the knights. And I'm not stupid enough to think I'll be an exception,' Zoe finished sadly.

Braewyn nodded and settled down on the fur. 'Take the scraps outside, then bank the fire, please Zoe. I need to sleep.'

Zoe did as she was asked, warming her hands for a few moments next to the fire before getting into Tristan's shirt once again and curling up back to back with Braewyn in the furs.

She fell asleep thinking about what it would be like if she was special enough to become an exception for Gawain.

xxx

A/N: Sorry this took so long guys! I went on holidays for a few days, did something quite stupid and ended up in hospital for blood poisoning. Hospitals suck, by the way, but the people working there are quite nice, and it's a good way to get lots of chocolate ice cream from your parents. I was pretty incapacitated and drugged up to my gills for a while. Thanks for all the reviews, and all the story favourites during that time, even if I didn't respond to you, it really made me want to get the hell out of hospital.

As usual, any reviews are welcome, particularly concrit. You guys rock, by the way. And, as usual, thank you to my beta, Homeric, whose awesome contributions are, well…awesome.

Disclaimer: Not mine. I don't even pretend to own these guys.