Bleh. I fudged much of this, especially the ending. I couldn't figure out anything meaningful to do with a Lex scene conveying that the cannon is ready to fire. Ah well. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters used within, except for the ones that I do indeed own.
A Winner Is Two: Chiaroscuro
First Round Aftermath: Back to the Frying Pan
"Shadow?" His fever seemed to cool at her merest touch.
Her touch was kind and gentle, but her voice was cracking with despair. "Maria?" he croaked.
"SHADOW." Shadow's eyes shot open. Gilly was staring down at him, frowning. One of her imps peered at him from a higher vantage point. It was nice to see a face that wasn't trying to shoot at him, but it just made the daily reminder that Maria was several decades dead and buried that much harder to take. He tried to swallow, and found his throat unpleasantly dry.
Shadow opened his mouth, and was immediately sorry he did. "What happrrrrggghhh…" He screwed his face up in pain, which caused more pain, causing him to reflexively contort his face further, and he was trapped in an agonizing cycle for a moment before he forced his face back to a neutral position. This allowed him to actually listen to what Gilly was saying.
"…enough topical anesthetic and aloe vera to treat a small horse, so just try not to speak or move your face for a couple more minutes while it kicks in, okay?" Shadow nodded weakly. Gilly sighed, lines creasing her forehead. "Look, I've got to help deal with the other patients, okay?" Shadow nodded again, guessing that he had been brought to one of the extraction points.
Shadow gingerly sat up to take stock of his surroundings, and immediately wished he hadn't. The improvised sick bay around him was the stuff PTSD nightmares were made of. Klokateers and Patriots sat or lay on the floor all around, spilling blood from great holes in their chests or clutching stumps that used to be limbs. A female Patriot sat with one arm pressed to her exposed skull, physically holding her head together.
Even one of Sakyo's demons was present, a scrawny-looking anthropomorphic gray frog with brown spikes all along its back and arms. Its jaw was wired shut, and its eyes were covered over with bandages. "Dawn is coming," it whispered cryptically through gritted teeth.
"I have no bloody fucking idea what you're talking about," Gilly muttered, pressing her palm to its chest. "Look, just try to relax, we're on our way out." The entire room shook for a moment, and Gilly caught Shadow looking around. "BORED didn't cut corners everywhere," she said with feigned cheer. "You can hardly tell we're in a helicopter when the door's shut, it's so quiet."
"Helicopter?" Shadow asked carefully. It only hurt a little – the balms were doing their work. "Are we on Ofdensen's ride out of here? No, it's too small… one of the transport copters?" Gilly nodded. "Damn it…" he sat up to take further stock of himself. His belt and bandoleer had been removed. There were bandages around his hip, and on several cuts on his sides and back from the fight. "Did you remove the bullet?"
"Yeah, with tweezers. You're really something – you got shot in the pelvis with an AK, and the bone's barely chipped. They don't make humans like they make you..." Gilly sighed. "If they did, I wouldn't be desperately trying to remember my year and a half of pre-med. I'd still try and keep the activity to a minimum."
"Yeah, I'm due for some R&R. I already collected my pay, too." Shadow peeked under the bandages, and laughed bitterly. "And here I was worried you'd shave me." Still, there was a nagging feeling that something wasn't right. "Did Tashigi ever get to the battle?" No, that wasn't it… was he missing his weapons? No, he'd ditched them… Travis's sword had defective batteries or something, and the guns had been soaked through.
"Yeah, we arrived together. She's leaving with her crew… she didn't even trust us to Medivac her wounded, because – get this – she's never heard of Honolulu, our destination! I left her with a few of the imps as guards. Oh, and I actually wanted to shave the wound, but we had no time and no electric razor so…"
"WHERE ARE MY EMERALDS?" Shadow suddenly blurted out. Gilly stared at him sidelong for a long, uncomfortable minute. "Sorry… but… no, seriously. Where's the bandoleer of gems I was wearing?" Shadow didn't wait for Gilly's response, he had plenty of time while she was opening her mouth to perceive the lack of recognition on her face and he didn't have TIME for this, goddammit! "What do you mean you don't know?" he yelled, skipping an entire line of the exchange through the sheer impatience found in the super-fast.
"I didn't see them when you were brought in!" Gilly yelled. "The medic brought you onto the copter in a hurry! Where… where's our medic?"
"The gems?" An unwounded Patriot with a white coat over his button-down and suit pants scratched his head. "I took them off so's I could check if ya were breathin'. I guess we left 'em behind!" Shadow snarled, his face awash in fresh pain from twisting into a mask of fury. "Don't blame me, ya freak, I was just tryin' ta save yer life an' all!"
"I – I don't even..." Shadow shook his head. "Have we been in the air long?" Ignoring the stabbing pains where he had been shot, he made his way over to the window. "We've barely even cleared the HQ… good. I wasn't out so long. Anybody have some guns they can spare?"
Gilly rubbed her forehead as Shadow collected sidearms and a set of holsters from Patriots. "You can't seriously be thinking of going back down there for some gems, no matter how magical they are! Look, working for Sakyo was a blast – my last boss was a real micro-manager – but I'm not wagering that he survives to get off the island. Besides, what are we gonna do, land so you can get out?"
"Not exactly." Shadow made his way over to the double doors at the back of the cabin. "I'll be in touch if I get out of this hellhole alive." Holstering the guns, he forced the doors open and allowed himself to be sucked out into the pre-dawn sky.
"Pretty pretty sparkly sparkly… if I could gaze at your beauteous wonder, I would. Or is it wondrous beauty? Come to think of it, are these things opalescent, or convalescent, or luminescent, or phosphorescent? Post-pubescent from the fertile crescent? Oh, hello!"
"Red and black mask, easily distracted, lots of crazy talk… You must be Deadpool," Shadow said with a grimace, walking up to the mercenary.
"Hahahaaaaa…" Deadpool laughed nervously. "Of course I'm Deadpool! To insinuate that I look anything like Deathstroke the Terminator is just crazy talk! I'm a hundred and eight percent original!"
"I didn't mention…" Shadow realized he was in danger of being sidetracked. "Look, I need those emeralds. They're mine. I dropped them." He's a psycho… I should treat him with kid gloves.
"Finders keepers, furry dude." Deadpool grabbed the Emeralds from the bandoleer and began juggling them. "These things are perfectly weighted, and they hardly whisper in my ear at all! Certainly not as much as my headphones!" Shadow looked less than amused. "Well, don't I even get a finder's fee?"
"How about bullets?" Shadow drew one of the pistols. "I've had a bad night, Deadpool, and you're testing my patience." Deadpool cautiously put down the Emeralds… before he started laughing.
"You got a D+, by the way. Not even passing. As for the bullets, sir…" Deadpool pulled a gun from behind his back fully twice the length of Shadow's. "You might not want to mess with the guy who's aware he's fictional." The gun unfolded, doubling its length further.
Shadow gritted his teeth and prepared himself to make a bullet-dodging dash for the Emeralds. He needn't have bothered. Deadpool's head was suddenly and violently separated from his neck, soaring straight up and landing more or less in the same place, but backwards.
Tashigi blinked back tears. "That's for Smoker, you son of a bitch." Wiping her eyes on her jacket sleeve, she looked at Shadow, staring at his face. She looked ready to cry again. "I'm so sorry… I wasn't there in time to help you, or my men… Smoker would've gotten down there in time to back you up…"
"It's alright," Shadow said hesitantly, putting the bandoleer back on and replacing the Emeralds. "I engaged too quickly and made some dumb moves."
Tashigi sniffled. "I should've been there to cover you."
Shadow looked at his reflection in the Emerald. Every scar left on his body called into question just how 'Ultimate' he really was, and he was looking pretty pathetic right now. "Yeah, you should've. But now you need to protect your crew."
"No, now I've got to deal with this bastard!" Tashigi shouted. Shadow turned.
Despite the decapitation, Deadpool was lurching towards them. "Beware my power, mortals!" He shouted… shortly before collapsing into a heap. "Damn motor neurons. Hey, do you mind beheading me again so I can rehead myself properly?
"Go on, Shadow," Tashigi said. "I'll deal with the nut job." Laying down her own katana, she drew and extended another of Travis's old beam katanas… the dark gray one. Shadow wasn't about to argue with her while she was wearing her current expression.
As he left, he noticed his communicator also lying on the ground, and scooped it up. "Shadow reporting in. Robotnik and the Bride are neutralized. I'm wounded, but still on my feet. Who needs me?" There was only white noise. "Sakyo? Ofdensen? Base, do you copy?"
Damn, he thought. It's probably something with the communication system. I should go see if I can get that thing up and running again.
Lotus Eater Cannon is in range. Scanning for targets.
End of Intermission
The proper second battle is in-progress.