This was something I wrote as self-deprecating stealth parody then decided to use in the story. This is the original version; the one I put on ACC was edited to the EXTREME. (for a good reason. :p) I substituted 'drugs' for 'candy' in the 'censored' version, which I find a lot funnier than I really should.

Thank you to hobaj03 for the chapter's title. The italicized lyrics are from "Somebody Else" by Hawk Nelson.

This rant takes place in the psycho's mind.

YOU HURT ME.

Sometimes my heart twitches and my fingers itch. Sometimes I stare up at this glowing monitor and wish I could escape back into that land where I can pretend I mean something and that you-or anyone else-cares. Sometimes I lose my mind and myself into this mess we call LIFE and SOCIETY.

I used to say "I bet she's pretty", but now I know she's not. Now I know you must just like her for her personality and that makes it WORSE. Nothing can make this situation better except drugs and suicide, because for the people like me who don't mean anything to the people like you, that's all we've got.

Don't you get it? DON'T YOU GET IT? I sit here suffering every day. My escape is to die, my death is to escape, and I enjoy flipping things around in sentences to make it more ARTSY and MEANINGFUL.

If I sold this guitar and a piece of my heart for you

Would you hop on a bus, and leave just because-

Would you?

LOOK at my obligatory song quotes. Just LOOK at them. LOOK AT THEM! LOOK AT ME! OR DON'T! BECAUSE I AM HAVING A BOUT OF RAGEFUL RAGEY RAGE EXPRESSION.

damn you. you suck. you and your ugly profile page are like a drug i can't stop taking and taking and taking and when i go to get my prescription filled i need to murder the pharmacist so they replace him with a new one who doesn't know my medical history. why don't i just steal the goddamn drugs after i kill the first guy? i don't know. what do you mean this analogy doesn't make any sense. DON'T YOU SEE? LIFE DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. damnnit, let me indulge my homicidal tendencies on other animals, 'cause you never know when i'll s n a p and kill you or ann veal from arrested development you have your arms around while your new hairstyle makes you look infinitely gayer. (not that there's anything wrong with that…unless you're from a crazed, judgmental family. oh snap you arrrrrreeee? golly gee whiz, poor yoooou! awwwwwww. poor yoooou! damn you to hell)

Damn you to hell because I'll finally get to see you there.

Are these dreams overrated

Running from myself?

I used to be somebody else

I'm holding out for a good reason

The people around me, they all seem to tell me

That I tend to change like the seasons

Look at me. Hey. Hey. HEY! LOOK. AT. ME. Do you know whhhhy? Do you know whhhhy I have to try to be FUNNY all the TIME? It's because the stuff-the stuff that's happened to me is most certainly NOT FUNNY. It's not funny! WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING? IT'S. NOT. FUNNY.

…I'm sorry. I'm so, so, sorry. Please don't be scared. I don't want you to be scared. I never meant to scare you…please…please don't be-

I've fantasized about this day happening millions and millions of times. You'd cry and be all sweet and repentant, but I wouldn't forgive you. No, I wouldn't forgive you…you'd suffer. You'd suffer and see what you and every SINGLE IMBECILE ON THE PLANET HAS DONE TO ME.

GURANTEED TO BLOW YOUR MIND

I used to laugh. I used to smile. I used to be happy.

"Love is patient and kind. Love is not boastful or jealous or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."

I used to love you.

I used to be somebody else

-Hawk Nelson (also known as that band I refuse to listen to anymore because of their stance on gay marriage and how they implemented it into one of their songs)

Y O U DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANT TO ME