Matt:

"I've got your jam- HOLY BUTT-SHIT!" Mello screamed, entering the room and seeing us.

I squeaked, pushing BB off and successfully rolling onto the floor. I peeped from behind the height of the mattress, staring at Mello, frightened. His eyes were wide, anger and shock displayed freely in green orbs. And was that jealousy...?

"Heh, Mello, I can explain..." I began nervously, toying with the hem of my shirt. Man, this was going to be awkward. 'Your best friend just admitted his liking towards me and has made it a personal goal to make me his by the end of the month. How was your day?' Awkward, indeed.

BB, though, thankfully decided to step in. "I like him," he said bluntly.

Mello blinked, then growled and practically chucked the jam of jar towards the crimson-eyed boy. Beyond caught it swiftly, uncapping the lid and dipping his fingers in the red substance. "Look what you did to him!" Mello said, frowning and pointing at me.

"What?" Beyond Birthday shrugged. "It was your fault. You came in and scared him shitless. You apologize."

"Don't you mean you apologize for practically molesting him?" Mello strode over, yanking me up by the arm.

I whispered, "Owie."

Mello ignored me but did loosen his grip. "Don't you remember?" he demanded. "I called dibs on him."

"I called dibs on him in my mind," BB informed him simply.

"You can't do that!" Mello protested.

"But I did."

"B!"

"M!"

The two shared a heated staring contest until Mello groaned in frustration. "Ah, fuck this. C'mon, Mattie, we're going to get hot chocolate."

And apparently, we're getting hot chocolate. Oookay, I'm confused as hell(they called dibs on me?), not to mention I'm about to die of embarrassment. Mello tugged me out of our room, leaving his best friend behind. I caught a glimpse of BB picking up the controller and starting a new game.

"Uhm, Mello?" I mumbled, looking shyly at the blond angel leading me to the kitchen.

Mello froze, turning around. "What?" he grumbled, cheeks turning pink. He turned back away, continuing to stomp to the kitchen with me behind.

"I-I'm confused..." I didn't know what else to say. I opened my mouth to say more, but then suddenly I was pressed into something warm and black. I looked up to see that Mello was hugging me tightly.

"I like you too, Matt," he whispered in my ear. "I know it's weird and all, plus there's a 98.1% chance that B already told you the same thing." He laughed humorlessly. "And I bet he told you something along the lines of getting you to be his by next week."

"By the end of the month, actually," I corrected him. Though I barely knew this boy, I found myself leaning into his touch. Warm Mello... Holy shit. Did I just think that?

Yes, Matt, yes you did.

Fuck. Who are you?

Your conscience. The one who's telling you that you should pick Mello over BB.

What the hell! I've only known both of them for, what? A week? You're making me sound like Bella having to pick between Edward and Jacob or something!

Pick Jacob.

...What?

Mello.

Eh? How the fuck is Mello like Jacob?

He's warm.

Oh. So BB is Edward?

Yes.

Okay. That's only a little weird. Because not only that Mello and BB both have the hots for me, and I'm making references to Twilight, but I'm talking to myself. To my Mello-conscience, evidently. My god, did I just nickname my conscience?

"Matt?" The real Mello was looking at me now, concern in his eyes. "Are you okay?"

I was aware that I had just spaced out. I smiled uncertainly. "The weirdness is sinking in, though otherwise I think I'm fine," I managed to say.

Mello laughed, hugging me to him again. Hm, maybe my Mello-conscience was right. Mello was freakishly warm. "You're so damn cute. Thank god you're- Wait. Or do you..." He stepped back, a questioning look on his face.

I got his unspoken question. "No," I said honestly. "And it's frickin' new to me, because I barely know you two guys and now I'm supposed to choose."

"So why don't I get to know you better?" Mello asked, and suddenly his arms are around my shoulders. "Let's get those hot chocolates, hm?"

I nodded enthusiasticaly. "Okay!" I chirped, forgetting about the dilemma. At that moment, all my brain was coming up with was, Hot chocolate and Mello...yum... And, no, I do not appreciate you calling me weird. It hurts my sensitive puppy-like feelings, okay? So don't kick me. (insert sniffle here)

Mello's arm tightened around my shoulder and we went to the kitchen like that, attracting stares from other orphans. While half of them seemed disgusted(damn homophobes), there were some girls who gathered in groups, and I could tell that Mello and I were going to have some fangirls...

Mello, meanwhile, was smirking with a sense of superiority, getting two cups of hot chocolate for us. We occupied an empty table near the back of the cafeteria. Mello smiled at me. "So, Matt, what do you want to do afterwards?" he said calmly. His eyes said, "So, Matt, do you want to prank those orphans who are glaring at us?"

I nodded, sipping my hot chocolate. My tongue recoiled and I hissed in pain, slamming the styrofoam cup down. Some more hot chocolate spilled on my fingers, causing me to howl rather loudly. Mello chuckled, grabbing my wet digits and taking them into his mouth, sucking the liquid off digit by digit.

"Mmm," he said once he released my hand. "You taste good with chocolate, Matt," he purred, making me blush uncontrollably. There were squeals across the room as our new fangirls somehow heard his comment and caught his actions with a video camera.

Mello grinned, obviously loving the attention. He looked about to say something to me, and I was leaning in to listen, but then the cafeteria doors were shoved open and they banged against the wall, the noise breaching my ears and causing me to flinch. I glanced at the doorway to see who it was, and my heart plummeted.

Yes, it was Beyond Birthday, and he was looking thoroughly pissed. And did I mention he was making his way towards us?

It's a bit rushed, and the characters are a little OOC, but that's okay for me. This fic is going to be extreme, complete with BB and Mello doing...unique things to get Matt's attention. So, yes, the OOC-ness is needed for that. Besides, do you really think Mello would dress up as a french maid in canon?

Love,

.F

PostScript: Yes! BB didn't have to haul me off my ass to update! But now they need to update DNC...WRITE, BB, WRITE! (I'd threaten you with the frying pan, too, but then it won't be your thing anymore.)

Post-PostScript: Updates may possibly be affected by Holli-chan and mine's new co-author fic, I Work For Justice. You can go check it out by looking in my Favorite Stories, or find Holli's profile in my Favorite Authors, because the story is under her account. I'm done shamelessly advertising, now. XD Enjoy the rest of your day.