Matt:

"Near," I whispered in the middle of night.

On the other side of the room, Near looked up from his puzzle. He gave me a quizzical look.

"I need to pee," I told him.

Near cringed. "The bathroom is right down the hall, Matt. I'm sure you don't need to alert me of your...bladder's needs." He turned away, back to his puzzle. "Also, please keep in mind our little rules, Matt."

I nodded, obediently listing them in my head:

Rule #1: Never, ever be caught alone in a room with Mello or BB.

Rule #2: Never show any favor towards either Mello or BB, otherwise the other's 'supporters' will attack me.

Rule #3: During lunch, I should sit with Near, seeing as Mello won't come anywhere close to him, and he creeps BB out.

Rule #4: Never approach BB or Mello first.

Rule #5: I shall call Near my Master.

Okay, I'm just joking about the fifth one.

Anyway, I peeked outside the room first, making sure there was no Mello or BB, following one of the several over rules. Once the coast was clear, I walked out, closed the door behind me, and headed for the bathroom about five doors down.

On my way there, I had to pass by Mello's and BB's room. Lucky for me, it seemed like no one was there, so I hurried past.

Once I, ahem, had 'relieved' myself, I washed my hands and began walking back to Near's room. I froze in the middle of the hallway, seeing the door to Mello and BB's room. The crack under the slab of wood was yellow, meaning the lights were on and someone was in there. And apparently, sobbing very loudly.

I identified the sobs as Mello's.

I admit it: I can't follow rules worth shit, even if it depended on my life. Completely ignoring Rule #4, I walked to the door and hesitantly knocked. "Mello?" I inquired softly. Mello might be a little insane and all, but I cannot stand it when people cry. I always get the urge to comfort them.

"W-what?" Mello demanded from the other side, his voice wavering.

"What's wrong?" I asked innocently.

A sniffle. "BB and I got into a fight and he called me fat," Mello replied crossly. I could hear the pout in his voice.

The whole situation forgotten, I said, "He lies! You're not fat at all!"

"Yes I am," Mello said sadly. "It's from all of those chocolate bars I eat. I should stop-"

"You can't!" I cut in persistently. "You won't be Mello then."

The door was opened a crack and Mello peered out at me. "I'm fat. You just haven't seen me lately."

"I saw you this morning," I said blankly. "You didn't look fat."

"I am!" Mello tried to convince me. "Do you wanna see?"

That was when I finally realized that this could be a trap. I slowly backed away. "N-no thanks, Near's probably wondering where I am, so I really should-"

"Oh, you're staying with Near?" Mello asked conversationally.

Shit. "I have to go," I said quickly, turning around to flee.

"Wait, Matt." Mello caught my arm, pulling me towards him. "I want you to look at me first and tell me if I'm really fat or not."

When I turned, he was grinning triumphantly. My eyes went downwards, widening on the way as I found out that he was wearing a Japanese maid's outfit.

Quite frankly, he looked sexy as hell.

"N-not fat," I managed, trying to wriggle away. "Now I have to go, because um, I promised Near that I'd help him with his puzzle and he's my friend, too, so I really don't wanna disappoint him and- Mello? What are you- Mmm..." I was cut off by his lips molding against mine.

I whined in protest, and I swear I reached up to push him away. But somehow my hands tangled themselves in his soft golden hair, tugging him closer.

My back hit the wall.

No way out.

We kissed for a full five minutes until Near cleared his throat. I squeaked, face flushing in embarassment as I tried to disappear. Mello was glaring at the albino. "Fuck off," he growled.

"Actually, I came to remind Mello that curfew is in three minutes, and if Roger finds you here in that costume, he will force you into unconsensual sex," Near said evenly.

Mello paled and went stiff and I took the cue to duck out from under his arms. Near and I went back to his room, and before closing the door, he said casually, "Well, why do you think he gave you that chocolate bar on your second day here?"

The door slammed on Mello's angry face.

"Wow." I whistled. "How'd you know all of that?"

"I have my ways," Near answered. "I would appreciate if Matt wouldn't be so weak towards Mello's and BB's advances."

I mumbled a sorry. "Well now Mello knows I'm staying here," I told Near with a sigh.

"I'll think of something." Near climbed on to his bed. "I would like to sleep now."

"Oh." I shrugged. "Good night then." I turned off the lights and got into my own bed. "Near?" I asked sometime later.

"Hm?" came the reply.

"...Does Roger really want to have sex with Mello?" I whispered loudly.

Through the darkness, I saw Near crack a smile. "60% chance." And he went to sleep.

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