Find Our Way Back
Chapter 2
Why Did We Ever Say Goodbye
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these OTH characters, as much as I'd like to. And none of these songs are mine.
Author's Note: One of the songs used in this chapter is "Desperately" by George Strait.
Every night it's the same
I hear you callin' my name
You're lyin' next to me
I give into your charms
You disappear in my arms
I realize it's just a dream, but
Desperately, I long to feel your touch
But you left me all alone in love
Nathan Scott stood silently on his balcony, arms crossed, radio playing softly in the background, his thoughts drifting towards the life he'd once had. Sure, he wasn't even in the NBA back then, but he'd had something so much better, a wife he loved very much.
And now I
Shake the sleep from my head
And try to crawl out of bed
Today is just another day
I make the coffee for one
I turn the radio on
Pretend that everything's ok, but
Desperately, I long to feel your touch
But you left me all alone in love
He still loved her, and legally she was still his wife. But it was nothing more than a piece of paper, a gold band, and memories.
And now I
Know there's no reason to smile
It's gonna take me awhile
'Cause I still love you desperately
To Nathan, it seemed like yesterday. It was a memory that no matter how hard he tried, would never go away. He'd been wrestling his decision for weeks.
"I've decided to turn down the NBA."
"What in the hell for?" Haley asked as she moved away from him.
Nathan was shocked by her reaction, "For you…"
"Nathan," Haley interrupted
"And our family," he'd thought she'd be happy.
"We don't have a family Nathan."
He sighed, "I know, but I was hoping we could start one soon."
He was relieved by what she said next, "I want a family too, but what does that have to do with the NBA?"
"I want to be a good parent."
"Nathan, we've talked about that. You'll be a wonderful parent. You're nothing like Dan. And the NBA won't change that."
Nathan frowned, "It's not Dan that I'm afraid of becoming this time Hales," he paused, "it's my mom. She traveled all the time because of work. I always missed her. I'd be traveling more than she ever did. And I don't want that. I want to be there for my family."
"Nathan, the NBA is your dream. I won't let you give that up."
That had ended their conversation. He hadn't mentioned that having a family was an even bigger dream. He didn't really sleep that night. Neither of them had. Nathan spent the entire night thinking about their conversation, wondering what she was thinking. He hadn't prepared himself for what she said. It was the first time he remembered actually crying. He couldn't believe she thought they should split up.
Desperately, I long to feel your touch
But you left me all alone in love
And now I
Watch the sun goin' down
There ain't nobody around
I feel a night in the breeze
I keep on tellin' myself
I don't need nobody else
And I can do as I please, but
Desperately, I long to feel your touch
But you left me all alone in love
And now I
Desperately, I long to feel your touch
But you left me all alone in love
After five months of begging her to change her mind, on the day she was supposed to leave, she agreed to stay, as long as he signed his contract with Chicago right then. The NBA wasn't what he wanted, but if it meant keeping Haley in his life, he'd do it. But she lied to him. He went to tell Lucas the news, and she left.
And that brought him to where hew has now, playing in the NBA. He doesn't date. Even after 5 years it just feels wrong.
Nathan walked inside and poured himself a drink. Tonight would've been their 10th anniversary. He wondered where she was. She never released and music, and he couldn't find anything about her on the internet. But he knew someone who did know her whereabouts. Picking up the phone, he dialed Lucas.
"I wondered if I'd hear from you today."
"Well, I've been calling the same day for five years."
"Yep, it is Tuesday."
"That's not what I meant. Today would've been 10 years," he paused, "Wait, it's Tuesday?" Nathan looked at the calendar, sure enough. He couldn't believe he'd let the thoughts of today keep him from his Tuesday rituals.
"Yes."
"Where is she Lucas?"
"You're not even going to look?" Lucas asked.
"I'm doing it now," he typed 'Haley James' into the search engines. "But you can save me the time." The searches turned up the same as they had for five years, 'No Matches Found.' He typed 'Haley Scott' into the same searches and got up to turn off the radio.
"Nathan, you know I can't do that."
I remember Sunday mornings walking on the beach
And that place we'd stop for breakfast with the old red vinyl seats
The hours of the tide chart
The way the sunlight dance upon your face
That antique roller coaster you just had to ride
I remember how you laughed at the terror in my eyes
The color and the detail
Just like it was yesterday
"Nathan?"
"Yeah, fine, whatever."
"Are you okay?"
"It's her," he whispered.
"What?"
"She's on the radio. It has to be her," with that he hung up and continued to listen.
And I remember how you held me the night my father died
I didn't have to tell you
I just broke down and cried
You're sewn into the fabric, the pieces of my life
And I just can't remember why we said goodbye
Nathan sat in front of the computer again and saw one result for Haley Scott. He clicked on the link.
Up and down this boardwalk lonely people sit
I know it wasn't perfect but nothin' ever is
The sails out in the harbor
Are searching for the wind
I just had to call you, I had to hear your voice
And tell you I still love you we still have a choice
You're sewn into the fabric, the pieces of my life
And I just can't remember why we said goodbye
Everything I do
Leads back to you
I know I just can't let us go
'Nashville,' Nathan read. Was she really in the same city as his brother? Had she been there all along?
There must have been a reason, but I can't remember now
I know if I could hold you we could work it out
You're sewn into the fabric the pieces of my life
And girl let's give it one more try
Cause I just can't remember why we said goodbye
Nathan waited anxiously as he downloaded her song from the site. 'She still loves me,' he thought happily. 'This was her call to me, right?' Just then the doorbell rang Nathan opened the door to find a package sitting on the step. There was no return address. Opening the package slowly, he looked inside to find a CD, with a short note attached.
Nathan,
I thought you might like this.
It wasn't written in Haley's handwriting, but it looked familiar.
He popped the CD in immediately, and heard Haley's voice come streaming through the speakers. It was a different song than he'd heard on the radio.
12 songs later, Nathan sat quietly, thinking about the CD. He knew Haley had picked each of those songs for a reason. He felt as if each one was speaking to him. He knew what he had to do next. Picking up the phone, he dialed the coach.
"Hello?"
"Hey coach."
He heard the coach groan, "Whadya want Scott?"
"I've got a family emergency. My brother needs me to fly to Nashville."
"Can't it wait until after tomorrow's game?"
"Sorry coach, but they need me to leave tonight."
"Fine. See ya when you get back."
"Thanks," Nathan hung up the phone and dialed the airlines, "Yes, I need one seat on your earliest flight to Nashville."