Find Our Way Back Chapter 6: Loving Arms, an one tree hill fanfic

Find Our Way Back

Chapter 6

Loving Arms

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these OTH characters, as much as I'd like to. And none of these songs are mine.

Author's Note: This chapter has two songs. The second one is listed entirely at the end. It starts when Nathan drifts off to sleep.

If you could see me now
The one who said that she'd rather roam
The one who said she'd rather be alone
If you could only see me now

If I could hold you now
Just for a moment if I could really make you mine
Just for a while turn back the hands of time
If I could only hold you now

Haley had sat on the beach for an hour, crying, hoping Nathan would come back. But he didn't. Once she'd finally realized that wasn't going to happen, she slowly walked back to her car and drove home.

Now she sat on her bedroom floor, clutching the wedding photo she keeps hidden in a drawer. She'd never given up hope that one day they would be together again. That she'd be able to once again have this photo hanging proudly on the wall in her home. It was why she'd never filed for divorce. And she'd always assumed the same about Nathan. But now she wasn't so sure about any of it. In just a matter of seconds, she'd seen the love in his eyes turn to pure hatred. Not that she blamed him.

I've been too long in the wind
Too long in the rain
Taking any comfort that I can
Looking back and longing for the freedom from my chains
Lying in your loving arms again

It was Brooke who found her, "Haley? What happened honey?"

"He hates me," she sobbed.

"No he doesn't. he didn't fly here after five years to see someone he hates."

"You're right, he didn't. I could see the love in his eyes when he arrived. But then I told him about Jimmy," she hugged Brooke.

"But he wants kids," added Lucas who was standing in the doorway.

"Yeah, he mentioned that to me too. But I don't think it was as much the fact that Jimmy exists as it was the little detail of me keeping it from him. He'll probably be pissed at you guys too. Sorry."

"He'll get over it Haley. I promise."

"I hope you're right Lucas."

"Me too," he whispered.

If you could hear me now

Singing somewhere through the lonely nights
Dreaming of the arms that held me tight
If you could only hear me now

Meanwhile, Nathan sat in the airport terminal waiting for his flight back to Chicago. He couldn't believe what he'd been through in the past three days. After five years of searching, he'd finally found his wife, and was sure she still loved him. He dropped everything and flew to Nashville where his brother was helping her hide. They talked, they made out, and it was obvious they both wanted to be together. He really thought they could make it work, finally have a family. Then she dropped the bomb - she's been raising their now four-year-old son, feeling it wasn't eminently necessary to tell him that he has a son.

He'd thought she knew how he felt about having kids. He'd been ready, five years ago, and was willing to give up the NBA for that chance. He wanted to be a good dad, someone who was always there for his kids. Now, Haley had made him no better than Dan, completely abandoning his son.

He'd been so surprised, and angry, that he'd left Haley sitting alone on the shore. He'd gone back to Lucas's and packed. He left a short note saying he found what he was looking for and was going home. He realized now that he should've stayed, and talked to Haley, and his brother. They weren't going to understand.

I've been too long in the wind
Too long in the rain
Taking any comfort that I can
Looking back and longing for the freedom from my chains
Lying in your loving arms again

Later that night Nathan walked into his apartment and threw his keys on the counter. 'God it feels good to be home,' he thought. At least he knew where he fit in here. And there were no surprises. He looked at the flashing light on his machine, four new messages. Reluctantly he pushed play.

Message 1, "Mr. Scott, this is Dean from Blockbuster. I'm just calling in reference to the three titles you currently have out. They were due back three days ago." Nathan hit delete. Who cared about a few late fees?

Message 2, "Hey little bro. Look, you didn't have to leave. But I understand that you're upset, or something. Call me." Nathan hit delete again, Lucas had NO clue what he was feeling.

Message 3, "Nathan. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. If I hadn't' sent the CD, things might've turned out differently. Sorry." Good ole Brooke Nathan thought, pushing delete.

Message 4, "Nathan," he could hear the tears in her voice, "please call me. Let me explain. Please." This time he didn't hit delete. It was simply too hard.

I've been too long in the wind
Too long in the rain
Taking any comfort that I can
Looking back and longing for the freedom from my chains
Lying in your loving arms again
I can almost feel your loving arms again

Nathan went to his carry-on and searched until he found what he was looking for. He popped the CD out of his Discman and walked to his bedroom where he carefully dropped it into his stereo. He listened to her beautiful voice as he got ready for bed. Each of her songs had meaning, he'd known that after listening to them once. He knew he shouldn't be doing this, because it only hurt more, knowing these songs told him how she felt. Yet, she'd kept such a huge secret from him. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop loving her.

As he drifted off to sleep, the last thing he heard was Haley singing…

I could forget you
I could make new plans
Find someone to help me
Spend this time on my hands
I could pick up the pieces
Even fall in love again
But until I do

I'd rather miss you
And live with the memories
The nights when you held me
Will carry me through
And if I have to choose
Between living without you
And learning to love someone new
Then I'd rather miss you

From the first time I saw you
'Til the day we said goodbye
You were the best thing
Ever walked into my life
So I'll just keep waiting
Hoping you'll come back again
But until you do

And if I have to choose
Between living without you
And learning to love someone new
Then I'd rather miss you
Then I'd rather miss you
Then I'd rather miss you