A/N – This is just a little something that has been floating around my head for about a week so I decided to write it up. It takes place after Journey but in my story Shelby and Rachel have agreed to get to know one another and Shelby did not quit Vocal Adrenaline. Also, Shelby did not adopt Beth. It is only meant to be a two-part story.
Shelby received a text from Rachel the following Tuesday asking if she could spend the weekend with her. But she had plans with Finn for lunch on Saturday, if that was ok with Shelby. Of course she could, and Rachel said that she would come straight to Shelby's after school Friday. Shelby sent a text message back reminding her to be there by 9:00. Rachel sent promises that she would be there before 9:00 along with love for her mother before dropping her phone back in her bag as she headed to class. Shelby was glad to be hosting Rachel this weekend because she wanted a chance to talk to the girl about what she and her fathers had discussed the past Friday.
Friday evening Shelby sat in her kitchen going over work and glanced at her clock. 9:08. She sighed and looked to the front door hoping it would open and Rachel would come bounding in. Eight minutes wasn't really late. There could be traffic or some other hold up. Shelby never dreamed her new-found parental responsibilities would be put to the test this soon. At 9:52 she vowed she wouldn't give in when Rachel got home. If she had learned anything from teaching teenagers all these years, it was that she had to be firm at first so that they knew she was in charge. She didn't want to be hard on Rachel, but she wanted the girl to know that she wouldn't be able to talk her way out of everything where Shelby was concerned. Besides this was the second weekend in a row. Shelby had seen the girl promise her dads she would be on time and she had received the same promise from Rachel in the text message. The warning was last week. This week would be different.
At 10:27 Rachel stood on Shelby's front porch facing the feeling of apprehension that washed over her. Her mother would be a harder sell because she had seen this whole thing play out last week. She had to convince her mom not to call her dads and let them know she was late, again. Finn had just driven off and Rachel turned and looked in the direction of his car. Finn. All of this was his fault. She would be home on time if he didn't insist that they never got to spend any time together. Between football practice and glee Finn felt that they didn't get enough time alone. Football season started the next week and with the games on Fridays he argued that even the few hours they got on Fridays would soon be cut short too. Rachel had agreed this week and last to stay and sing. She really felt she was helping Finn and in the process making the entire Glee club better. And yes, there was making out as well. She hadn't intended on missing curfew, but time really did have a way of slipping by her.
Rachel turned back to the front door and sighed. Although somewhat anxious about Shelby's reaction, Rachel momentarily brushed it aside. Her mother had never so much as said a cross word to her let alone yelled or lectured. And as always, Rachel carried a familiar conversation around in her head. Her mom was not a parent to her. Shelby had told her dads that she would take no responsibility when it came to child rearing and Rachel. At the moment Rachel was most concerned with her dads finding out.
Shelby heard the front door open from her spot on the couch. 10:29 a look at her watch told her. She set down her book and rose to meet her daughter by the door. Rachel set her bag down and looked to her mother. Shelby arched an eyebrow, waiting.
"I'm sorry, mom," Rachel started. "We were just-"
"You're grounded," Shelby cut her off, determined not to let Rachel start talking her way out of it. "For this weekend."
"What?" Rachel asked. Shelby must have already called her dads. "Oh." Rachel hadn't even thought of that. She wasn't sure what to do. Did she need to go home or-
Shelby interrupted her thoughts when she started talking again. "Rachel, you have a curfew for a reason."
"I know, but," Rachel was confused. "I'm supposed to meet Finn for lunch tomorrow," Rachel said more to herself than Shelby. She was trying to distract herself from thinking about being taken home to face her certainly angry fathers. "I haven't been grounded in years," she lamented as if some long standing record was about to be broken. Rachel felt the twinges of guilt and fear building.
"You're going to have to call Finn and cancel your plans for tomorrow," Shelby told her and Rachel pouted, almost unconsciously. "Honey, I know you're not happy about this but that's the way it is. You're a kid. My kid," Shelby smiled. Rachel looked up and met Shelby's eyes for the first time since walking through the door. She wanted to smile too, but she still wasn't exactly sure of what was happening.
"Are you going to take me home?" Rachel asked, sadly.
Now Shelby was confused. "What? No, you're staying here this weekend. You broke the rules here so you can face the consequences here." Shelby wondered if Rachel wanted to go home now that she was disciplining her, but didn't say anything else about it. She would cross that bridge if and when Rachel asked for that directly.
"Oh," was Rachel's reply and tears started to form in her eyes. Shelby noticed and pulled the girl in for a hug. "Ok," Rachel said, the sound muffled against Shelby's shoulder.
Rachel held onto Shelby longer than necessary, using the hug to gather her feelings and try and push back the tears that were threatening to fall. Part of the cause for her emotional state was the guilt she always felt at getting in trouble. She had always bought into the adage that 'it hurts me more than it hurts you' and she was always upset with herself when she cause her fathers to punish her. Only this time it was worse because it was with Shelby.
As Rachel held on to Shelby, she felt terrible about putting her mother in this position. They were still just getting started with their relationship and Rachel didn't want Shelby to see her differently. She wanted Shelby to see Rachel as this perfect daughter and bright star that didn't need to be admonished for anything because she was better than the normal teenage behavior. She didn't want Shelby to see her as just some other kid. But she was a kid as Shelby had just pointed out. The most important difference was that she was Shelby's kid Rachel felt the hint of a smile through her tears.
The guilt lingered but was then overshadowed by an overwhelming sense of love. This is what she wanted, right? Her mom. Not just some friend or mentor type. Her mom. This is what moms did, right? They grounded you for the weekend when you were almost two hours late because you were hanging out with your boyfriend, even if you had been able to talk your fathers out of it. Rachel started to feel a shift in their relationship, even though she didn't think it was possible. In this moment Shelby was her parent; her mom, and whether that shift was real or imaginary, Rachel didn't try to shake off the feeling. She needed Shelby this way even if the woman and her dads didn't think so.
A new thought occurred to Rachel then. What if that shift wasn't something that Shelby wanted? Shelby and her dads had been clear that they were friends only. Maybe this was how Shelby liked it. She got to know Rachel and hang out, but without any of the responsibility. Rachel felt even worse now for having put Shelby in this position. Rachel didn't think it was right for Shelby to have to enforce a punishment put in place by her fathers.
Shelby wondered what was going through the girl's head as she held this hug. She had started to pull away only to realize that Rachel was still holding on, so she stopped and waited there for Rachel to be ready to let go. When Rachel finally did let go and step back, she spared a glance for Shelby and then focused her gaze on the ground. Shelby noticed the tears in Rachel's eyes and stains on her cheeks and briefly wondered if Rachel was putting on a show to gain sympathy and get Shelby to release the sentence. But no, this was deeper than that. It left Shelby concerned and confused. She had made kids cry before but that was when she was Coach Corcoran and she was working with Vocal Adrenaline. Shelby didn't enjoy seeing her students tear up but if yelling was a way to get through to them she would use it. Most people didn't know that she always sought out those students after the fact and sat them down for a talk. It strengthened her relationship with each and they all knew she did not hold a grudge.
But Shelby had not yelled at Rachel. It had barely been a scolding and she had even broken into a smile while doing it. It was just a simple statement, "you're grounded," and, as far as Shelby was concerned, it had been earned.
"Rachel," Shelby prompted.
"Did you call my dads?" Rachel asked.
"No," Shelby told her.
She hadn't called her dads? Then why was she grounding her? Rachel thought for a second and new tears fell. She had forced Shelby into this. She again thought back to Shelby making sure she understood they were just friends and then glanced up at the woman's concerned gaze. Rachel reasoned that Shelby felt she had to do something because of last week. Rachel was putting Shelby into the position of having to play the parent when she didn't want to. It was easier to reckon with when Rachel thought it was her dads telling Shelby what type of punishment to hand down. This was Shelby acting on her own, but not because she wanted to be a parent, but because Rachel was forcing her hand.
"What's this all about?" Shelby questioned, softly.
Rachel sniffed in response and looked up to meet Shelby's concerned eyes. "I'm sorry," Rachel added.
Shelby took her hand and led the girl into the kitchen and sat her on a stool at the island. "Sorry for what?"
"I'm sorry for making you have to punish me. I should have been here on time," Rachel told her.
"Rachel…"
"I know better," Rachel cut her off. "I don't normally do this. I'm not some kid who breaks the rules and disobeys. I'm sorry I put you in that position. I know you didn't sign on for this," Rachel glanced up to gage her mom's reaction.
"Rachel," Shelby tried again and was again cut off by the girl who was now wiping her eyes with the back of her hand in a manner that made her look much younger. Shelby wanted to smile as she found it endearing, but she didn't want Rachel to think she was smiling at the girl's tears.
"You told my dads you didn't want to have to do this. That you weren't going to-"
"Rachel," Shelby said again, her voice firm and commanding this time. Rachel stopped talking and looked at her mom, not daring to look away. This was a tone Rachel was not used to. She got a sudden flash of what Shelby's Vocal Adrenaline kids must feel like. She waited for Shelby to continue.
Shelby took her time trying to get her thoughts in order. She was trying to figure out what Rachel was talking about. Didn't sign on for what? Didn't want to have to do what? She looked at her sniffling, overly dramatic daughter who had tear stained cheeks and red eyes and tried to understand where Rachel was coming from.
After a moment and another glance and Rachel, Shelby thought she was starting to understand. Rachel was afraid that Shelby was going to back away or somehow leave her after once instance of getting in trouble. Shelby silently cursed herself for walking away from Rachel right after they met. She realized the lasting impression it had left on Rachel and she wanted to try and set things right. She was not going to just up and leave Rachel again and Shelby wanted to make that very clear to her. But she needed the girl calmed down and focused to do that.
"Don't move," Shelby said as she went to the sink and turned on the water, mixing the hot with cold so she would end up with water that would be soothing and warm. She started to head out of the kitchen and she heard Rachel start to get up.
"Mo- Shelby?" Rachel's voice was shaky with the threat of fresh tears as she reverted back to her mother's name. She had called her Shelby for a while until they had both become more comfortable with each other and 'mom' had come more naturally. It had been two months since Shelby had heard her name come from Rachel and now she didn't like it. She was mom and she wanted Rachel to call her that.
"Sit down," Shelby said as she stopped to look back at Rachel. She then carried on with where she was going and left the kitchen.
Rachel sat back down as new tears spilled over. She didn't understand what Shelby was doing but she waited on the stool like she was told.
Shelby returned a moment later carrying a box of tissues and a wash cloth. She handed the box of tissues to Rachel and said, "Stop crying." She tucked a strand of Rachel's hair behind the girl's ear and then told her to blow her nose. Shelby then turned back to the sink and tested the temperature of the water before wetting the wash cloth. She heard as Rachel obeyed and stifled a laugh when she turned around and saw Rachel sit back down as quickly as possible hoping not to get caught when she got up to throw the tissue away.
Shelby held the warm, damp wash cloth folded over one time in her hand and looked at Rachel. "Are you done crying?"
Rachel nodded, not sure if she was telling the truth. She was pretty certain that she would end up crying again.
"Good," Shelby said. She placed a hand on the back of Rachel's head and used the other to hold the soft wash cloth and wash Rachel's face. "Is that ok?" Rachel nodded again and Shelby took a moment to wipe away the tear streaks. She was hoping that this was giving Rachel a moment to compose herself as well.
"Now we're going to have a talk and I want you to pay close attention, you got that?" Shelby said looking at Rachel, showing the girl she was serious.
"Yes, Mo- Shel-" Rachel didn't know what title to use, but one look at her mom's face told her Shelby wasn't right, so she cut it off. "Ma'am," Rachel decided on.
"Good," Shelby said as she pulled another stool around and sat in front of Rachel so that they would be at eye level as she talked her daughter. "I love you, Rachel."
"Yeah, but you told my dads that this wouldn't be your respon-" Rachel stopped talking when Shelby held up a hand.
"I'm talking right now. You're listening. Got it?"
"Yes, ma'am, "Rachel said again, soft and contrite.
Shelby nodded and continued. "I love you," she said again, just for emphasis. "I'm not exactly sure what you were thinking about, but I can take a guess. You think that I might suddenly change my mind about all of this because I had to admonish you? That you somehow ruined this relationship because you were late getting here? Am I close?"
Rachel nodded and then shook her head and then nodded again. She opened her mouth to speak, but stopped herself and looked to Shelby for permission. "Why then?" Shelby asked.
Rachel spoke quietly at first. "It's a lot of things. I always felt guilty when I was little and would get in trouble. My dads are so gentle and it upset me I had given them reason to ground me or spank me." Shelby nodded. Leave it to Rachel to get so worked up about her parents' feelings. Most kids sulked and whined and blamed their parents, but Rachel ached for them because of the situation she had put them in. It was such a dramatic thing to do. Not that Rachel's feelings weren't real, obviously, Shelby thought as she looked at the girl.
Rachel started to continue but stopped and made sure Shelby hadn't been about to respond. Shelby simply motioned for her daughter to go on.
"And I've never had a woman, a mom," Rachel corrected, "hand out punishment," she continued, shyly, looking away. "Everytime I would get in trouble I would imagine that I had my mom to run to and she would hold me and side with me and tell me I was still a good girl. But as I got older I realized that's not really what a mom would do. Not a real mom. A real mom would agree with my dads and when I argued that I didn't want to go to my room, she would turn me around and send me out of the room with a swat to my rear. A real mom wouldn't be afraid to hug me and scold me all at the same time. And not that I wanted any of that; I just liked the idea of knowing there was a mom out there that would do that. My mom, maybe." She kept her eyes away from Shelby, embarrassed at the revelation. Shelby looked away too, fighting back tears of her own.
"And," Rachel started again, "you told my dads you wouldn't do this. We were simply going to be friends and get to know each other. And my dads are still supposed to be the parents, right?" Rachel asked, confused. "They told you that you had no say so and made sure we were all clear about it. But here I am, late. And you saw me talk my way out of last week. So this week maybe you feel you have to do something since they didn't. I've put you in that position you don't want to be in. That you told my dads you wouldn't make any decisions about it. So I've messed up more than simply coming home late. I've messed up our relationship" Rachel said, her voice quivering again. "And you'll have to call my dads and tell them and they'll be upset."
Shelby shook her head. Hadn't she already told the girl that she hadn't called her fathers. She started to correct Rachel, but Rachel wasn't finished talking.
Rachel took a shuddering breath and as Shelby was about to start talking, she spoke up again. Her voice was sad and her words were slow and she tried to speak around the fresh tears that were falling.
"And now what if it changes how you see me?" Rachel asked and Shelby was shocked.
"What?"
"I want you to see me as a-" she was cut off by Shelby.
"Stop it," Shelby said, the firm tone returning. "Do you want to know how I see you? I see you as this wonderful person who has a flair for the dramatic and a huge talent to go with it. I see you as this funny kid who is goofy around her fathers and reserved around her friends and is working on breaking off pieces of her shell around me. I see a girl who wears her heart on her sleeve, but uses it as a good tool in order to get what she wants, no matter how mischievous and painful the path may be to achieve it. I see you as a kid. My kid. My daughter," Shelby said as her voice caught and she tried unsuccessfully to keep the tears back.
Rachel wanted to move to hug her mom, but felt rooted to the spot. Hearing Shelby call her 'my kid' was a far cry from the grown up Shelby had purported Rachel to be when they had first met and wanted to go back to thinking of each other from afar. Shelby wiped some tears and went on.
"As for my not wanting that responsibility and the agreement that I would defer to your dads for all decisions concerning you, it's not the case anymore. It's not that I never wanted that responsibility," Shelby said, looking into Rachel's eyes, trying to make sure the girl understood, "but I had no right to take away anything from your fathers. But as we've gotten to know each other, we've been talking your dads and me."
That was news to Rachel. She assumed the only time the three of them ever saw each other was when Shelby was there picking up Rachel or to drop her off. "About what?" Rachel asked.
"You," Shelby said simply. "And me. They want me to be more involved as a parent because they think it's what you want. They told me since you were spending time here more and more frequently that I should have some say so." Rachel couldn't help but smile at this news. She loved her dads so much because they were truly skeptical when Shelby reappeared and have since embraced the idea of the woman because of how happy they saw Rachel.
"Included in that say so," Shelby continued, "Is the right to punish you if need be. For minor things, if ever the need should arise. I didn't actually think it would. At least not so soon," Shelby said honestly. Rachel felt young and silly proving her mom wrong.
"I would classify this as minor, so stop worrying about me calling your dads. I had planned to talk to you about all this tonight to make sure you were ok with everything," Shelby said.
"Really?" Rachel asked.
"Yes," Shelby told her. "Although it would have been nice of your fathers to mention you would take it like this," Shelby cracked and Rachel laughed through her tears. She stood up off the stool and hugged Shelby. After a few seconds, Shelby had Rachel stand back so she could once again wipe the tears off of Rachel's cheeks with the now cold wash cloth.
"Do you promise me you won't freak out next time you get in trouble and I have to punish you?" Shelby asked.
"Oh, there won't be a next time," Rachel said, her confidence returning.
"Sure there won't, "Shelby replied with a knowing smile.
Shelby stood and suggested that, now that they had resolved that issue and gotten the tears out of the way, Rachel should run upstairs and change out of her school clothes into something comfy so they could watch a movie and get on with what was supposed to be a nice weekend. Rachel was half way out of the kitchen when Shelby called her back.
"Rachel," the girl returned and stood in front of Shelby. "One more thing. Don't let me hear you call me Shelby again. You call me mom. Do you understand?"
"Yes, mom," Rachel replied, grinning.
"Good," Shelby said as she turned the girl towards the stairs and planted a firm swat on her plaid skirt covered backside. "Now get upstairs and get changed."
Rachel jumped in surprise, but was smiling as she started for the stairs only to be stopped again by Shelby voice half way up.
"And Rachel, don't forget to call Finn and let him know you can't meet him tomorrow because you're grounded." Shelby grinned when she heard Rachel groan out a dramatic, "moooom" and continue her way up the steps.
The End.
-A/N – I would love some comments if you have any.