Hidan's Love – 1 – Bad First Impressions
*Kaede's P.O.V.:
It had been hours that I was searching for a decent sacrifice for Jashin-sama. This was not good, I had to get something soon or later or else Jashin would be upset and I would lose immortality. It was supremely difficult trying to kill helpless people while actually having a conscience. Nonetheless, I had to make it work for me and Jashin-sama. My thoughts were interrupted by two obviously noticeable presences that were walking my direction. Before I knew it, two men were standing before me. One was tall and tan skinned with a mask on his lips and the other was taller than me but shorter than the other. He had silver slicked back hair and he was shirtless. The necklace around his neck was none other than a Jashin symbol. He must be immortal too, which meant a tough fight. Either way, I was determined to kick his ass into a pulp.
"What the fuck do you assholes want?" I practically yelled.
"Can you believe this ingrate, Kakuzu? Two seconds and she's already being a fucking bitch!" The silver haired man said.
"Shut the fuck up, dick head! Answer my question, what the fuck do you want, trampling your asses in my neck of the woods..."
"Hidan, calm down. As for you Kaede, you need to do the same. We are here because our leader asked for you. You have a special ability that would cooperate well with our organization." Kakuzu stated.
I continued to glare at Hidan. "Fine... but I am only going for a trial. If you do not provide enough death for my Jashin-sama, I will kill you both and leave."
"Very well. Come with us."
"What the fuck do you know about Jashin? He wouldn't allow a damned girl to beg at his knees, you tart!" Hidan grimaced at his own willingness.
"And why should I believe he would let a schmuck like you worship?"
"Oh you little bitch! How dare you insult my Jashin's good choice!" That was when he charged at me with the triple-bladed scythe in his hands.
"Too slow, you hoe!" I giggled and jumped out of the way with ease and popped up behind him, ripping his cloak off. "Oh, looks like Jashin-sama did pick nicely." I said with a wink.
"Jashin hates girls!"
"Not to my demise, he doesn't. He picked me because I'm the best." I made sure to add boasting in there to piss him off.
Hidan charged at me once more and yelled," What the fuck would you know about Jashin-sama?"
"I dated him, so pretty much everything." This caused him to stop in his tracks, face plant, and freak out.
"What?" He screamed in a freakishly loud and obnoxious voice. "How the hell should I believe that?"
"That's your choice whether or not you believe me. You can ask Jashin about me anytime." I walked alongside Kakuzu, leaving Hidan behind in a daze.
"You guys done?" Kakuzu asked.
"Hopefully. So your name is Kakuzu right?"
"Yep. Why do you ask?"
"Well... can I call you Kakiz?" My eyes flashed admiringly.
With a sigh, he responded," fine."
"Ah, Kakuzu! Why do you let her kiss your ass so easily?"
"Because she's making an effort, unlike you, Hidan."
I stuck my tongue out at Hidan who was furious by this comment. Anger danced all over his face and he glared at me as if to say 'ass kisser' and I responded looking up at him gladly as if saying 'damn right and my life will be saved before yours'. Our telepathic conversation pissed Hidan off to no extent. I was left with a fuck you look for the rest of the way. Meanwhile, my eyes were fixated on his bare chest, so strong and bare. I almost drooled in front of the both of them.
"What the hell are you staring at?"
"Your chest. Why is it bare?" Was the first nice thing I've said to him.
"It gets hot and shirts just get in the way!"
"Good choice." I ignored him, keeping my mind and eyes on those muscles.
"What the fuck do you mean by that?" He growled.
"I mean, you are attractive without a shirt, so keep it that way. I bet you could distract your female sacrifices by not wearing a shirt. Any smart woman would be staring at that!" I giggled.
"That's a good way to look at it, I guess." He considered this.
"Go for a pregnant sacrifice, those tend to be the best."
"You want me to kill a fucking pregnant woman? How is that even justified?"
"Since when did Jashin-sama care about justice?"
After thinking about this for a moment, he agreed. "I'll give you that one. The more the merrier."
"That indeed!" A smile arose on my lips.
"When did you begin worshiping Jashin and why?"
"Huh?" I questioned confused before I understood. "Oh! Well, I was the first female to recognize him when he was human. And then he started this cult, and we were dating at the time, so I joined in support."
"How old are you?"
"That's a rude question for a lady!" I spat. "Jashin is 432 and I am 421. How old are you?"
"Holy fucking shit! I'm only 93! Kakuzu here is about 386."
"Almost matched up to us Kakiz!"
The response was a careless grunt.
"Someone needs a hug!" I squealed and pounced on Kakuzu.
"Hugs are stupid, Jashin doesn't like them." Hidan argued.
"There you go with the know-it-all syndrome again! Jashin loves hugs, idiot! And your disapproval is why you didn't get one."
"Whatever, hugs are lame."
For the first time ever, I saw Kakuzu smile. To him, pissing of Hidan was the most amusing thing out there. To see Hidan's reaction, I quickly gripped onto his bare chest and held on while he wasn't looking. The second he noticed, he freaked out into a cussing fit.
"What the fuck was that? Holy shit, here you are saying I don't deserve a hug followed by hugging the fucking shit out of me!"
"You needed one. So hug back you ungrateful nuisance!"
He quickly hugged back in embarrassment and stood silently after that.
"If he's gonna shut up like he did now, you should hug him more often!" Kakuzu laughed for the first time ever.
"Good advice." I grabbed onto Hidan and stuck to him like Velcro as we continued to walk.
"What the fuck, Kakuzu? You're going to sell me out like that? Fuck you!"
"Jashin does not approve of you being gay, Hidan." I chuckled.
"Fuck you all! Go to hell!" He stormed off, leaving us behind.
Kakuzu sighed and sat down. "I suppose we should just go on without him or camp out here for the night, seeing as it's already dark?"
"Let's just camp here, I'm tired as hell."
As Kakuzu fell into a deep sleep, I got up and walked to the nearest lake. It wasn't very far. When I got there, I saw Hidan sitting on the edge of the dock. This was to very much of my surprise, so I decided to play a prank on him. I swiftly popped up in front of him, grabbing him by the neck and pulling him into the lake with me. He cursed as he was pulled down through the crystal clear water and tried to swim back up. As soon as Hidan could reach the surface, he glared at me and swam to the dock.
"Oh c'mon! That was fun!"
"For you. I'm soaked to shits! You call that fun?" He questioned, annoyed by my actions.
"You're such a fun hating ignoramus! And yes I do. What I call even funner is making a team sacrifice."
"Team sacrifice?" His face lit up to the word sacrifice.
"Mhm. We go out and pick an amazing sacrifice, worth two people, and together we sacrifice it to Lord Jashin."
"Huh? I've never heard that before. Are you sure it's good enough for him?"
"How dare you question the ex-lover of Jashin-sama!" My eyes flickered silver with annoyance and anger.
"Pf-ft. Whatever. Anyways, let's just do the fucking sacrifice, I haven't done one in over two days."
I rolled my eyes and dragged Hidan through the forest with me. We found a pregnant woman, to our luck, and a perfect area to sacrifice her.
"Ready Hidan?"
"Why don't I have a nickname?" He whined.
"What the fuck? Where the hell did that come from? You remember that? Oh my god... Hidan, you're name is super short as it is."
"Whatever. Can't be that hard to come up with one..."
Hidan and I drew our blood and made the Jashin symbol on the ground with it. While I made the triangle, he made the circle. We both crammed in the middle of the triangle as we drew blood from the lady's stomach. Our skin changed to black and white colors, and we took turns making small injuries.
"Hidan! Take your scythe and jab it through my heart."
"What? No, you do it to me!"
"Ugh. You stab me, I stab you."
"Deal."
Hidan lifted his scythe with a huge grin, and lashed at me as I did the same to him. Our weapons pierced through each others hearts, leaving our faces filled with ecstasy as we fell to the floor. It took a while before we noticed that I had fallen on top of him. My hands were on his chest and his hands were gripping my hips. It was sheer heaven, the feeling of pain and the eccentric buzzer that went off in my chest as I realized I was on top of him.
"Oh, hello down there!" I laughed as I mounted him, sitting up right.
"Hello, up there!" He chuckled, what sounded devilish.
The woman was murdered and our weapons were quite a ways from us. Just to our convenience, Kakuzu chimed in at an awkward time.
"Uh... did I miss something?" He asked in shock, which was less of a question than it was a statement.
"We-" I was cut off by Hidan.
"Fell. It was really-"
"Inconvenient and awkward."
"I can see that..." Kakuzu replied firmly. "You guys gonna move or what?"
There was an awkward silence until Hidan and I realized we were still joined. I looked down at Hidan, before quickly jumping off of him and jolting to Kakuzu's side. "Kakuzu-san? Don't you think we should get going?"
"Ass kisser..." Hidan mumbled.
"Yes we should, and Hidan don't make me get that head of yours."