Find Our Way Back Chapter 11: I Drive Myself Crazy, an one tree hill fanfic

Find Our Way Back

Chapter 11

I Drive Myself Crazy

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these OTH characters, as much as I'd like to. And none of these songs are mine.

Lying in your arms
So close together
Didn't know just what I had
Now I toss and turn
Cause I'm without you
How I'm missing you so bad

Where was my head
Where was my heart
Now I cry alone in the dark

Lucas sat across from Nathan at the bar. "So, what's this about little bro? You sounded weird on the phone," he took a sip of his drink.

Nathan sighed and took a swig of his beer, "It's Haley."

"I thought things were going well."

"They are, to a certain extent," he took another swig.

"Lemme guess, it's about sex."

"Is it really that obvious?"

"Yeah, kind of. I guess somehow I knew it would be an issue."

"Gee, thanks."

"What exactly is the problem?"

"We can't keep our hands off each other," Nathan responded seriously.

Lucas tried to hold it in, but couldn't help snickering, "And that's a problem?"

"Glad you find it so funny. But this is serious. How are we supposed to figure out our relationship if we can't stop making out?"

"You haven't even had sex?"

"No. One of us always stops before it goes that far."

"Why? You're married."

"Because we don't want a merely physical relationship. We have to know there's something more."

"You wouldn't be here if there was nothing more than sex. If that was all you wanted, you would've filled that void a long time ago."

"Yeah, you're right. I think."

"Think about it Nathan. When were you ever able to keep your hands off each other?"

"We weren't that bad."

"Yeah, actually you were. And my honest opinion, I think your subconscious is trying to make up for five years of desire."

"Maybe."

"I'd put my money on being right."

I lie awake
I drive myself crazy
Drive myself crazy
Thinking of you
Made a mistake
When I let you go baby
I drive myself crazy
Wanting you the way that I do
(Wanting you the way that I do)

Nathan and Haley sat on the couch in his apartment, trying to watch a movie. She'd left Jimmy with Brooke and Lucas. He'd cooked dinner and rented a movie. It had been a month since Nathan had moved to town. And, yet again, they were trying to make it through an entire date without making out. Brooke and Lucas both found it extremely hilarious, Nathan and Haley on the other hand do not. They cannot figure out what their problem is. Each of them had successfully lived five years resisting such human interaction, but whenever they found themselves in the same room, all inhibitions flew out the window. Together, they had decided to preempt any 'family' outings with Jimmy until they had their 'problem' under control. Nathan and Jimmy had met a handful of times, but that was it.

I was such a fool
I couldn't see it
Just how good you were to me
You confessed your love
Undying devotion
I confessed my need to be free

And now I'm left
With all this pain
I've only got myself to blame

"Jump his bones."

"What!" Haley exclaimed.

"You heard me. Just do it already."

Haley looked at Brooke, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't play dumb tutor girl. You want Nathan in the worst way. And until you give into your desires, it's only going to get worse."

"Lemme get this straight. You, oh wise one, believe that the reason Nathan and I can't keep our hands off each other is because we need to have sex?"

"Yep."

"I think you're crazy."

"Fine. Be that way. But in the end, you'll see who's right."

I lie awake
I drive myself crazy
Drive myself crazy
Thinking of you
Made a mistake
When I let you go baby
I drive myself crazy
Wanting you the way that I do
(Wanting you the way that I do)

Haley scooted next to Nathan. Sitting on opposite ends of the couch, pretending the other person has the plague was not their solution either. Jimmy would catch onto that too. Instinctively, she began running her hand up his leg and Nathan moaned. Haley yanked her hand away, this was how it always seemed to start, with one of them making a simple gesture.

Nathan draped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, "It's okay Haley, touching is allowed."

"I know Nathan, but…"

"But nothing. We're adults, with normal urges and desires."

"That we should be able to control."

"Control will come. I think I finally agree with Lucas," he kissed her softly.

"Oh yeah, and what does your brother have to say about our 'situation'?"

"That our subconscious is trying to fulfill five years of pent up desire."

"Really?"

"Are you saying that you didn't dream about me? Even once."

"No," Haley blushed, "Are you saying that you did?"

"Hell yeah. I took way too many cold showers because of you."

Haley blushed even more, "Nathan."

"What, it's true. And it's only natural for a man to have those feelings for the woman he loves, for his wife."

Haley suddenly found herself straddling Nathan, "I love you," she whispered between fevered kisses. Maybe Brooke was right. She tugged on Nathan's shirt until it pulled off over his head, briefly breaking their kisses. She began to leave a trail of kisses down his neck.

Nathan didn't know what had hit Haley, but he knew tonight he too was throwing all inhibitions out the window. Silently he thanked God for Haley's button-down shirt, which was quickly discarded on the floor, next to his.

Haley reached down and unbuttoned Nathan's jeans and suddenly Nathan pulled away. She looked at him, confused, "What's wrong?"

He couldn't believe what he was about to say, "I don't have any protection." He knew he wanted this to happen, but he also knew that at this point in the game, the last thing they needed was to add to their already "awkward" family situation.

"It's okay. I have it covered."

Why didn't I know it
(How much I loved you baby)
Why couldn't I show it
(If I had only told you)
When I had the chance
Oh I had the chance

Hours later, Nathan woke up happier than he had since the day Haley left. And it wasn't because they'd had sex, even though it had been great. It was because he loved waking with Haley next to him. Her head and hands rested peacefully on his chest and he had his arms gently surrounding her. This is how their lives are supposed to be. 'Now,' he thought, 'I just have to figure out how to be a father to my son.'

I lie awake
I drive myself crazy
Drive myself crazy
Thinking of you
Made a mistake
When I let you go baby
I drive myself crazy
Wanting you the way that I do
(Wanting you the way that I do)