A/N: My wife constantly prompts me with weird ideas for BA, and I never use any of them. Until now. I consider these to be AU (some more than others) to the main series. One hundred words each including titles.
With much love and affection for juri.
Warnings: Silliness, horror and possible squick ahead.
Five Things That Never Happened
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Prompt: Sylvanna gets a new puppy.
I. Feastday Offering
The thing in her hands was soft and warm, and if she had to be honest with herself, a little ugly.
"What happened to the rest of the litter?" Sylvanna asked.
Morrigan and her daughter shuffled awkwardly to position themselves before the pile of smoking corpses.
"It's a girl," Ishantha said.
Sylvanna looked at the squashed, mournful little face. Great. As if she needed another bitch in her life.
On cue, a wet mouth closed toothlessly over a finger and began to suckle. Oh, all right. It was rather cute.
"So you'll keep it?" Ishantha asked.
Sylvanna sighed.
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Prompt: Anders fails to satisfy the fairer sex.
II. Anders, Interrupted
The woman rolled out of bed, reaching for her small clothes. Anders groped blindly for her as she passed.
"Wait," he said plaintively. "Won't you at least tell me what I did wrong?"
Leather slapped against her thighs as she strapped on a pair of daggers. "I don't appreciate being watched," she said curtly.
Anders heard the door slam. A minute later, a furry tail trailed across his arm as Ser Pounce-a-lot curled himself up on a pillow, the cat's eyes gleaming a luminous silver.
"You're more trouble than you're worth," Anders complained.
Pounce responded with a purr.
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Prompt: Morrigan gets tired of living with enthralled!Sylvanna. She seeks out comfort from an elf who looks the same as the warden.
III. The Substitute
"Like this?" The elf tossed her long hair over one shoulder, smile radiant like justice.
"Not quite." Morrigan demonstrated the move again, then gestured to the elf. "Once more, if you please."
Sanga's girl pouted in exasperation. "Can't we just get on with it?"
"Am I paying you to think?"
The whore sighed. The smile was back on her face a moment later. "Let me heal your wounds," she whispered breathily, draping her arms around Morrigan's shoulders. "Since I am the - the-"
"Hero of Ferelden," Morrigan offered, rolling her eyes.
Perhaps she should have requested a mute.
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Prompt: A darkspawn stalks Alistair, getting closer and closer over the years. This one will probably be a series of drabbles.
IV. The Little Darkspawn that Could
The noise of grunting grew closer.
Alistair wiped the sweat from his brow, panting. His senses tingled with corruption, and he straightened, getting his bearings. Five miles from Denerim...
The noise stopped.
Try as he might, he had never actually seen the darkspawn - merely flashes of colour, or evidence of its passing: a broken twig, a crushed leaf.
If only the damn thing would stay and fight.
Adjusting the grip on his sword, he continued moving, glancing back over his shoulder as the shadows lengthened.
Behind him, a dark shape rose and crept forwards, one painful step at a time.
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Warning: Disturbing content below. If you didn't like fable 4, this might be squicky.
V. Waste Not, Want Not
The short, coarse fur prickled her back.
"Can't we use the bed?" Sylvanna pleaded, squirming.
Morrigan gave her an odd look. "Later, if you behave," she said, running a finger over Sylvanna's lower lip.
Later never came, though by that time, Sylvanna was long past caring. "Where did you get this fur?" she murmured sleepily.
"Best not to ask."
Sylvanna sat up abruptly at the strange tone in Morrigan's voice, and stared at the dense brown rug. It was oddly shaped.
"No," she whispered, stumbling to her feet, one hand pressed tightly over her mouth.
"Thetus?"
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Prompt: Sylvanna and Morrigan have sex on skinned!Dog, with Sylvanna realising the truth at the end.
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And One Thing That Might Happen
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Prompt: Sylvanna and Morrigan live happily ever after.
I. Grace
Her Calling never came.
It never came, and though Sylvanna could not understand why, she was grateful beyond measure.
The years had been kind to them.
"Did you see that?" she whispered, snuggling closer. Her fingers gently brushed the papery skin of Morrigan's hand.
"A shooting star. Did you make a wish?"
Sylvanna leant her head on Morrigan's shoulder. "Yes," she murmured, her eyes fluttering shut. "I wished for this to never end."
The next breath came sparse and dry in Morrigan's throat. Thin hands gripped her own, and as their fingers entwined, the stars in the heavens collided.
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A/N: Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing so far, especially: interesting2125, Metroidvania, Misdirection, Noah Sila, Tolk600, Victorita9, wayfaringpanda and Zero-Vision.
As always, feedback and concrit are extremely welcome. Also, feel free to offer new prompts, although I can't promise if I will fill them or when. Then again, I never thought I would write most of these either, so who knows? :D