Chapter 23
Hermione sulked for a couple of days. She ignored him completely. She tried to keep away from him during the night, with mixed results. Somehow she would end up near him. Once she woke up when he was pulling her close. She could feel his lips on the back of her neck and was about to yell at him when his hand came up to cup her breast. As she was struggling with what to yell, he was noticeably asleep again if he even been awake to start with. She huffed to herself and tried to put some distance between them.
She would get up in the morning, hop on the scooter he had bought before they arrived and took off. He didn't argue when she left.
The island was wonderful. It was warm, colourful and inviting. Everything you wished for in the Caribbean. Music was everywhere. She loved the coastline, where the warm breezes would blow the heat of the asphalt. Draco had provided her with a choice of nice summer dresses. Should couldn't imagine what had been going through his mind when he'd gone out shopping for her.
She would return in the evening to eat. As she didn't have a cent, she couldn't eat anywhere else. Draco had food ready when she got back and they ate in silence.
The band was playing this evening, so when she was finished eating, she left Draco in the apartment and went downstairs.
The pensioners seemed to recognise her and there were lots of kisses on cheeks and holding of her face. They were saying things Hermione didn't understand, but she kept smiling and so did they.
One of the elder gentlemen asked her to dance and she accepted. It was fun and light-hearted.
After dancing for a while, she switched to another gentleman before being rushed across the dance floor, where she was delivered to Draco. The pensioners were making gestures that she should dance with him.
The light-hearted mood left pretty quickly, but she didn't want to cause a stir, so she didn't argue when he snaked his hand around her back. Everyone seemed to be watching.
"They understand we are having troubles in our marriage." He said as they danced.
"We're not actually married. You do know that don't you." She said, still not had complete confirmation that he understood that point.
"Everyone seems to accept it except for you."
"We are not married. We did not go into a church and promise ourselves to each other."
"Please, Granger. I am a wizard, I don't go into churches."
"You know what I mean. We didn't have a ceremony. Please tell me you understand this."
"What in all the time you've known me has told you that I am a complete idiot." He said, swinging her around.
"Are you sure you want me to answer that?"
"Shut up, Granger or I'll kiss you."
She wanted to argue but she knew that he would absolutely fulfil his threat. They danced in silence for a while. Hermione had her hand on his shoulder. She could feel the body heat beneath the white shirt under her hand and the way the muscles moved under the skin. Things she didn't notice when they were arguing but became undeniably clear when they stopped.
They danced in silence for an hour, because what was the alternative, go upstairs.
"Do you want to go for a walk?" He finally said and Hermione was relieved to have another option. Ideally one where the pensioners wouldn't cheer. It was getting really late, but Hermione didn't want to go upstairs, so she agreed.
The walk was mostly in silence. They had pretty much exhausted the topics of 'he can't keep her here', but saying that, there was still so much churning away underneath the silence. All the things they never addressed that meant that a real relationship between them was absolutely impossible.
"Why can't you accept that this is impossible?" She finally said.
"What's impossible?" He asked, turning to her.
"Us." She said. "You're holding onto something that can't be."
Hermione could tell by his stance that he was angry. She knew him so well that she could tell his emotions by the way he held himself.
"Nothing is impossible." He said.
Hermione snorted, which seemed to piss him off. He stared at her for a while before turning and walking back the way they came. She rolled her eyes at the whole ridiculous situation. But she had to follow him. He had the wand and as much as she loved being here, it wasn't the kind of place you wanted to be completely defenceless at this time of night.
The patio was dark when they got back. The band had finished for the night and everyone had gone home. The apartment was dark as well. The balcony door was still open and the moonlight was enough for her to see.
Draco was standing near the balcony, looking out. Hermione knew that it was time to have a discussion about this.
"Growing up, I never thought that I didn't fit into the wizard world." She said. "But as I am getting older, I've started to see that I can't fit into your part of it. And I'm not sure I want to."
He turned towards her slightly, but he wasn't looking at her.
"We've talked about his before." She said with a sigh, resigning herself to the fact that this discussion was needed again. "I can't live in the corner of your life that you'd have to keep me in. Its not fair and I don't want that."
"Everyone thinks we're married Granger." He said and finally turned. "What more do you want? You said you wouldn't accept anything less."
Hermione started to say something, but everything slipped away from her.
"You've been so focused on the fact that we aren't." He continued, "That you haven't even noticed that we are."
"You were trying to hurt me." She finally said.
"You don't know how close I've been to being disowned." He said with a tight laugh. "Its still pretty much touch and go."
"Why haven't you told them that it wasn't true?"
"Because its what you wanted." He said, leaning back against the wall.
"I.." She started. What was she going so say? It had been the reason they broke up, but that was a long time ago now and there was a lot of water under the bridge since then.
"Why are you holding on to this?" She said. "We ended and you are still holding on."
"I told you. I can't let go."
Hermione shifted her stance. She didn't know what to say.
"You've got me." He said, "And nothing I do seems to change that."
Hermione felt really uncomfortable. She didn't want to have this discussion. She looked towards the door, seeking escape from this conversation. He seemed to read her mind and pulled out his wand to lock the door. Disabling her means of escape.
"I know you can't walk away as easily as you make out." He said.
Hermione wanted to argue, but secretly she had been glad when her subsequent relationships fell apart. "I do what I have to."
"And then what?"
Hermione didn't answer. She wasn't sure what to say.
"I can't let go." He repeated, louder this time. "They won't let me have you and you won't have anything less. I bit of a dilemma."
"If I am with you." He said. "I will lose my fortune. My future."
"Then why are we here?" She asked.
"What if I can't ever get over you? I either suppress those feelings and live a life without them, or I choose you and live in poverty, without my family and it connections. My fortune or my heart. It seems I can't have both. My family is hoping for a discreet little divorce, so all can go back as it should be. Then we can all forget about this little indiscretion, as they call it. But then I would end up having to watch you eventually marry someone else and get on with a life without me. Placing me potentially forever in a cold, dark place I dread."
"Not a decision I envy you." Hermione finally said.
"Actually." He said, facing back towards the outside. "Its a decision, you are going to have to make for me."
"You can't ask me to do that." She said, shocked. "That is completely unfair."
"Nothing about this is fair." He said.
"You can't ask me to make such a decision."
"Yes I can." He said facing back towards her. "My decision is made. Now you have to decide my fate."
Hermione desire to escape was palpable. Her mouth had gone completely dry and her distress only heightened as he walked to stand in front of her.
"You said you were ready to fight for me." He said, so close she could feel the heat from his body. "Will you fight for me now?"
She couldn't quite stop the tears from flowing down her cheeks. Was it true what she had said? Was she really prepared to fight for him? If so, was it still true? Their relationship had been easy when it wasn't based on anything real, but now that he was asking for a full commitment, it was much scarier. She had been the one who broke it off because the commitment was not full and complete.
Bastard. No 'I'll be fine' whatever you decide. No, it was, I'll suffer if you don't. Which may well be true, but what right did he have to be truthful in a situation like this.
So Hermione, this is it. Will you take this man, who is incidentally moving much closer to kissing you, to have and to hold. This man who is funny and sexy, strong and passionate, as well as occasionally unstable and potentially hereditarily mad. In abject poverty, and maybe without any means to ever get off this island.
"Will you?" He whispered, his lips almost touching hers.
"You're clouding my judgement." She said clearing her throat, trying to distract herself from the lips that were beckoning.
"Good. I need an answer." He said.
Hermione tried to squirm, but the slightest touch of his lips made her say, "Yes."
The kiss was a complete relenting. It was slow and deep, and with much more meaning than she had ever experienced before. She could even taste her own tears within it. But much more importantly, she could taste him. Anyway she cut it, it tasted like home.
He broke the kiss and said, "I'll have nothing."
"Don't really care." She said.
"So we're clear." He smiled and kissed her again. The kiss turned heated and before she knew it, they were on the bed. Desperately grabbling with getting rid of clothes that were in the way. A year of denial dissipating as he sunk into her. It took nothing at all. Three strokes and it turned her completely inside out. It really was the fastest sex she had ever had, but all she needed was him inside her. How in the world did she manage to live without this for a year?
After their breathing returned, Draco explored every inch of her with his hands, tongue and lips. It only took of few minutes of him ministrations before she needed him inside her again. It was much slower this time, savoured. He kissed her as she came and seemed to stop just to feel the contractions. But the heat built again as he sought his own release with a more forceful pace.
That sated feeling just wouldn't stick, but neither of them were complaining.
From then on, they weren't really physically apart. They were either in bed, dancing or snuggled up nice and close on the scooter riding around the island.