Authors Note: I own nothing. No ownership rights to Beverly Hills 90210.

Is this our home?

I had nodded my head but said nothing at that statement. I knew what he was asking, and I knew if I opened my mouth I'd give in to him, no more questions asked. It's why a few minutes later I stood up and picked up my bag, "it's getting late and I have late class registration early tomorrow, I'm trying to change some of my classes, hopefully people have dropped so I can get in."

He doesn't try and get me to stay, I think he can see that I'm a little overwhelmed. "Can I walk you back to your dorm, it's dark out and I'll worry otherwise?" I nod.

As we move onto the campus I begin to point out the buildings, doing my own campus tour to fill in the silence. It's when I point out the student centre where I need to try and change my classes tomorrow does he finally approach very subtly the elephant between us.

"You aren't happy here but you want to give it a go?"

"I wasn't very happy in LA this last year, there I at least understood the reasoning, here… talking tonight showing you around, I guess I want to try and make it here. I'm not sure if Minnesota is where I belong but LA hasn't felt that way either, I don't think anything will feel right until I feel right again."

"I understand completely." He stops and rubs the back of his hair, I stop knowing he wants to say something. "Look you didn't say anything back at the hotel and I'm not expecting you to welcome me back with open arms, but you didn't shoot me down either. If you want to stay here give this place a try then would you mind if I stay as well? I'm not sure if I can do a late enrolment but if I can would you mind?"

"You have no interest in living in Minnesota, you'll be doing what we fought about last year planning your life around me, and I'm not sure if I can take you back."

He swallows at the uncertainty of us, "last year I didn't want you to plan your life around a cheating asshole. I knew from the moment I held you in my arms at the bottom of those stairs that I had placed an expiration date on us; when you found out you wouldn't be able to forgive. I should have trusted you and us more, you haven't asked me to leave and until you do I'm staying, and yeah living in Minnesota wasn't high on my priority list but I want to make my life with you. I'm making this decision knowing everything. It was something I was too afraid to give you last year."

Again I nod, too afraid to say anything in fear that I will immediately cave and go back to him. What little self-esteem I have left I'm desperately trying to hold on to. When we get out the front of my building I stop, "the student centre opens at nine but I've heard people begin to line up from eight. I'll be there then." It's not a yes to him staying but it's not a no. If he stays it's on him, I don't want anymore resentment between us.

"Okay. I'll go back to the hotel and call my lawyer get him to send the paperwork I'll need, I doubt I'll be able to enrol in classes tomorrow but hopefully I can at least submit a late application. Let's just hope they are impressed with my SAT scores." He leans forward and kisses my forehead, "thank you for not sending me away. I'll see you tomorrow at 8am. I'll bring the coffee."

He did bring the coffee, and he did submit his application that day; and I did manage to get two classes I wanted. When he got a phone call on his new cell with an offer for late approval two days later we were on campus having lunch. We had met everyday, we never discussed us again just continued in the role of best friend's that we had adopted post breakup.

When I went to the student centre to help him finalise enrolment I was hit with the reality of the situation. Dylan was paying his tuition fee my Dad would know he was here.

I kept quiet through the rest of the enrolment showing little excitement when he got two classes the same as mine, they were the two I didn't want to take but be was thrilled, English literature and philosophy was right up his alley; to me they were just a necessary evil they covered some of my general prerequisites though took me away from my drama focus.

As we leave the building he stops me. "Did it just become too real me staying?"

"Huh?"

"You got really quiet in there."

"Dyl, my Dad knows you are here or I'm guessing he will from that cheque."

"No he doesn't and no he won't. When the Trust was dissolved I made a new arrangement with Jim. He doesn't have access to my accounts, he has been given a significant chunk to invest in both high risk and low risk ventures to try and safe guard my financial future, but overall he just keeps my money in term deposits getting the best interest. He deposits a set amount into my account quarterly but can't see where that money goes to from there. He thinks I'm travelling at the moment and considering his previous interference with us that's how I'd like it to stay, if that's okay with you?"

I exhale in relief, "Yeah. Answering questions we haven't figured out the answers to isn't something I want to do."

We begin to walk again. "Speaking of answers, have you told Darla if you will go with her to the sorority rush tomorrow?"

"Say it with a little more disdain why don't you." He had been less than subtle about his opinion on this college activity.

"Hey, it's just not really your thing-"

"At one stage it would have been. I wanted to go out for cheerleader when I first arrived in Beverly Hills but Kelly and Donna made it seem so uncool, and then after the help line… I felt any collective activity like that could… it seemed a risk."

He squeezes my hand knowing how the helpline experience made me uncomfortable around certain types of groups. To lighten the mood a few minutes later he starts to tease, "I could have dated a cheerleader. The loner and the cheerleader sounds like a remake of the breakfast club, and you in the uni-"

I begin to let go of his hand, "Okay, I'm leaving." As I go to move away he grabs my hand in a tighter hold pulling me back.

"I thought you were going to come back to the suite with me, you know help me look for potential apartments since you said I can't live in a hotel for the semester."

Crap I did promise that. I look at him wanting him to know that all of this is still hard, trying to find my place again, "you promise no more teasing me about trying to fit in here?"

"No more teasing, I promise."

It took till the second week of classes for me to introduce Dylan to my Minnesota friends. They didn't make the connection right away until Darla asked where he was from. The large eyes and Dylan Dylan told the both of us that she made the connection. Dylan was very zen answering their intrusive questions over pizza that night, I kept taking offence and he just smiled and answered them honestly. He took to squeezing my hand to try and prevent me from losing it at them.

That night for the first time I went back to his place. I was so mad and I didn't want to get in a fight with Darla about it.

"Bren relax. We are strange to them, our Beverly Hills life they just see it on tv shows, of course they are going to want to know if it's real."

"How can you be okay about this?"

"Baby, even growing up in it my life was different from Steve's, Donna's, Kelly's and David's. Jack was a big shot for most of my life, he was part of the extremely wealthy. Growing up I was asked a lot of questions even by Beverly Hills kids, it's why I became such a loner I was sick of being a novelty. People wanting to hang out at the hotel, clubs, the restaurants, all of it had nothing to do with me and everything to do with the family bank balance."

"That's even more reason why they shouldn't have spoken to you like that."

"Hey, they get one shot. They've asked everything, now if they continue next time and make me into the circus freak, then you get to put them in their place but let's just see. Hopefully, they'll just start to see me as Dylan your boyfriend- well maybe potential boyfriend. Not that you have to define us yet, if you aren't ready."

He was being cute, teasing me to try and lighten the mood. "What I'm ready for is a bath, god I miss them. If you'll excuse me I'm going to steal your tub for an hour."

"Probably I bit too soon to ask if I can join." I give him a glare over my shoulder, "yep to soon. I'll just sit here and try and make a start on the philosophy readings we have to do."

"Take notes please, legible notes."

After attending two sorority parties I was done with Greek life. Dylan having gone with me to both was delighted. Darla understood, it helped that her boyfriend and Dylan had connected over their love of classic cars and motorbikes, and snooker, it resulted in a weekly couples night hang out between the four of us.

By week four of classes Dylan had moved out of the hotel to a serviced apartment. It was less expensive, not that he cared about the money, he was happy that I was so happy to finally have a kitchen and laundry again to use. In the four weeks since he arrived I had stayed at the hotel four times, in his first week in the new apartment I stayed three times.

"You know I was hoping that you were warming to the idea of us, but I see now you are warming to the idea of your own washing machine, bath and kitchen."

I rolled over in bed and looked at him; it was my fourth night sleeping there. His smile let me know he wasn't really complaining. "You try living on cafeteria food for a month, using a communal laundry and don't even get me started on how disgusting it is to shower daily wearing flip flops so you don't catch anything."

"Okay when you put it like that, don't take this the wrong way but I kind of want to disinfect you before you come here." I reach over and lightly whack him, "ouch."

"Well be nice. I'm trying to experience the real college life-"

"By hiding out in our apartment?"

I go to get up, "oh I can leave."

He grabs me and pulls me back into the bed but this time into his arms, "don't you dare. I want you here nightly even if I have to bribe you with white goods to get you here."

On his nineteenth birthday, I throw him a party at our place, well his. It's only a small group of people but I make his favourite lasagne and purchase a cake. We listen to music, eat, play cards, nothing exciting but as College students we all are a little broke so it's a cheap fun night. After everyone leaves and the kitchens clean, Dylan and I go out onto the balcony to drink hot chocolate and share one more piece of cake.

"It's my first birthday where you can really feel the fall."

"I missed the seasons so much when I moved to California, I like the idea that the year has distinct characters. Fall the crunch of the leaves, cooler nights, sweaters. Winter though I'm not looking forward to, neither of us will want to go out, the wind goes through you to your bones."

"Okay so winter you and me inside by our fireplace, it sounds pretty perfect to me."

I smile at him because it sounds pretty perfect to me too.

My birthday is the first time we kiss. It wasn't him who initiated it but rather me, I decided that after two and half months it was time to stop hurting myself, denying what I wanted. I kissed him over coffee in our bed, we spent the rest of the day blowing off our classes laying there making out. It's only when we get back to the dorm for me to put on a dress for dinner do I realise my mistake; my family have all tried to call, both my Minnesota and Beverly Hills ones. He sits on my sometimes used bed and listens while I call everyone back. By the time I am finished I have dinner organised with both grandparents for this weekend and a request from Mum and Dad to fly home for their anniversary party in two weeks time. Throughout my birthday dinner that night we discuss breaking our bubble and letting them all in. It leads Dylan to tell me the story about what really happened in my father's office that summer, I decide then that everyone needs to be kept away from this. Dylan is in complete agreement.

Dylan flys home with me on the Thursday, my parents think I'm arriving on Saturday just before the party. We spend Friday organising his neglected house and surfing Malibu, we order our favourite takeaway and before I leave to spend the night at Casa Walsh on the Saturday I promise to bring him a mega burger. When I get to the house that afternoon I tell my parents about my Peach Pit detour, that it was a requirement after months of cravings. As I arrive with pie they are none the wiser that most of the meal has been dropped off to Dylan. It's a silly thing him having to act like a hostage in his own town but it was his suggestion. He didn't like me being so faraway from him so refused to stay in Minnesota, and it would be too much of a coincidence for him to arrive and leave at the same time as me; we were also trying to avoid lying to everyones face. Half truths were not lying.

The night is challenging. I try and avoid my father, I'm not sure if or how I can forgive that threat. Brandon and I, we catch up about old friends I've caught up with in College but it's still distant. Kelly brings a guy called John Sears, I don't ask about Dylan but raise a questioning eyebrow when he goes to get us both a drink. She advises me that she left him sulking in Europe over Berkeley, that he phones Brandon and Nat every now and then but apart from that has been pretty MIA. She declares that typical Dylan; I wonder when she feels she became the expert on him.

She appears to like John though I'm not sure why, he's too smooth, too heavy on the flattery. Donna is like me she doesn't like him either, but she says, after Dylan and their serious relationship she is trying to be supportive of her moving on. I don't ask what serious relationship, they were together four months, and fought for most of it.

When Dylan and I touch down the next day in Minnesota, we both take a deep breath. "It's good to be home."

There is something about that statement that doesn't feel right, "you think this is home now?"

He pulls me closer. "Wherever you are is my home."