Author Notes: Written for a prompt in the LJ puckurt fic meme. Un-beta'd. Sorry if I missed any mistakes. Don't expect the pace to continue like this. Really. Don't.
Summary: Mabel Puckerman and Molly Hummel were never supposed to meet, but they did. Can two thirteen-year-old girls concoct the perfect revenge to pull on their still-single fathers, or will their plans come crashing down around them? Obviously based on the 1961 movie of the same name (because Haley Mills is way better than Lindsey Lohan).
Chapter 2 - Acting the Part
When Mabel returned to her seat in the balcony twenty minutes later, she had Molly's contact info stored in her phone, was wearing Molly's clothes, and had a bottle of Diet Coke in her hand – apparently it was Molly's favorite. "Hi, guys," she said to Molly's friends, sitting down in the seat they'd saved for her. "Sorry I took so long. I decided to change back, and then there was a huge line."
"God," the older girl – Jody, Mabel reminded herself – sighed. "I almost thought I'd have to report you missing to the cops. Do you know how much trouble I'd be in?"
"I'm not going anywhere," Mabel promised, watching as the opening act came onto stage. "I wouldn't miss my ride home for the world."
Molly tried to stay cool when Noah Puckerman came back into the green room only a few minutes after Mabel had left. "Hey, Peach-pie," he said absently, grabbing an energy drink from the refreshment table and popping it open. "I thought Steve was going to let you sit out in the stands."
"I didn't like the crowd," Molly replied, trying so hard to sound normal as her hero plopped down on the couch next to her, putting his arm around her shoulders. "I'll watch from the wings."
"Alright," Noah nodded, pressing a kiss to her temple that made Molly feel like she was dying. "Make sure to wear those earplugs, though, or your Aunt Sarah will skin both our hides."
"Ha, ha, yeah," Molly agreed, laughing awkwardly. She took a deep breath, trying to remind herself that this was just a guy, just a human being. Molly should treat him like she would treat her own dad, not like he hung the moon and the stars and had the best voice ever. "Don't worry, Daddy. I'll be fine."
"Daddy?" Noah laughed, giving Molly a weird but amused look. "You haven't called me that since you were seven and it became 'uncool' according to your friends."
"I was just …" Molly tried to explain, wondering if she looked as red and embarrassed as she felt, before remembering she had learned how to act from one of the best – Kurt Hummel. Taking a steadying breath, Molly put on her patented Hummel cool-face and said, "I was just trying it out. Got a problem with that?"
Noah laughed again, ruffling her hair and saying, "Nuh-uh, sweet cheeks. I've got no problem. No problem at all."
"Alright, then," Molly nodded, as if everything was decided. "How much longer until you go on?"
Noah shrugged a little before scratching one of his (slightly graying) temples and muttering, "The boys have a short set, I think. Maybe half an hour."
Molly nodded with a smile, feeling very outside herself and wondering how long she could keep up the act before Noah-freaking-Puckerman realized she wasn't his daughter Mabel.
Watching her father onstage, knowing Molly was watching from the side, Mabel wondered what Kurt Hummel was like in person. She and Molly hadn't had much time to exchange life-stories, so all she knew was the specifics of tonight – she, Hannah, and Jody had sneaked away from New York to come to this concert. In the morning, she would go home to Molly's grandparents, Burt and Carole Hummel, while her father was in Paris on a business trip. Mabel hoped both she and Molly could keep up the ruse long enough for him to come back, because she really wanted to meet this man her father had married all those years ago.
What could he be like? Was he as cold and calculating as he always looked in his pictures, or was he the kind of dad that would raise a brash, but warm daughter, as Molly's first impression seemed to prove? Did he care about Molly's school and her grades, or was he more concerned with her extracurriculars, like Mabel's father was?
Was he still single because he still loved Noah or was he single because Mabel's dad had broken his heart? Was it the other way around? Was her dad still single not because he was too busy for romance, but because he was too upset over Kurt to move on?
Her dad's band came on soon enough, Hannah and Jody whooping and hollering their lungs out, and as the music started, Mabel wondered if any of the songs he wrote were about the Kurt Hummel. Now that Mabel knew she never had more than an egg-donor for a mom, they couldn't be about her.
I said I'm sorry twice before,
Never thought I'd say it again.
But this is too damn hard,
And I think you know
I'm not coming home, my friend.
These years I've spent without you
That empty span of sheets.
I keep trying to forget the way
Your skin smelled oh, so sweet.
I guess I'm better off without you,
Without the fucked-up things you say.
It would have taken both of us
To make one of us stay.
Better off without you.
I'm better off without you.
I know you think I'm wrong.
Better off without you.
We're better off without you.
Still, I'm writing you this song.
Mabel wanted to sing along with her father like she normally did, but suddenly it didn't feel right singing about how they were better off without Kurt and Molly. She'd grown up as half a family and never even known it.
Mabel tried to fight off the tears, but Hannah must have seen, because she leaned over and asked, "Are you okay?"
"I'm good," Mabel insisted. "Shiny. He's just so …"
"I know, right?" Hannah grinned, turning back toward the stage and belting out the lyrics that told more stories than Mabel ever knew.
Watching a concert from off stage kicked ass! Molly had never been this close to the music and even though that guy Steve frowned at her until she put her foam-rubber earplugs in, she could still hear more and see more than she ever could up in the balcony with her friends. Molly danced and sang along with all the songs, knowing each and every one by heart.
She figured it must have been destiny that her favorite band belonged to her father's ex. Molly knew she was related by blood to the Hummels, since she had the same forehead and the same cheekbones and chin as her father and her grandfather, but she also wondered if she looked a little like Noah Puckerman, even if that didn't make any sense. Was that why she was drawn to his music? Or was it some twin-superpower thing, gleaning the preference from Mabel, even three thousand miles away?
She knew this switch-to-teach-them-a-lesson plan was Mabel's, but Molly wondered if maybe they could have another motive. Maybe, if their fathers loved each other enough at one point to get married and have kids, they could fall in love again. Then she could have Noah Puckerman and his amazing guitar and her own twin sister around all the time. It was perfect!
And seriously, her dad was way too uptight without a man in his life.
After the concert ended, Mabel left the theater with Molly's friends, following them back to a beat-up old Honda and getting in the back seat. There was a backpack there, but Mabel didn't want to go rifling through just anyone's possessions, so she said, "It's dark back here. This is my bag, right?"
"Yee-ahh," Hannah replied with a roll of her eyes. "Who else would it belong to?"
Mabel shook her head and turned on her phone for the backlight, rummaging around in Molly's backpack for any clues about who she was supposed to be now that she was impersonating her own long-lost twin sister. Hmm. Sweaty-smelling arm-bands with "Lodestone Academy" embroidered on them, a tablet labeled "Hummel Homework", a few spiky metal things that looked like they belonged on a pair of cleats like the ones her friend Danny wore to play football, a paper notebook full of snippets of words and little drawings, three dinosaur-shaped pencil erasers, but only one ink pen, and about a zillion different colored ponytail holders. Mabel felt sort of like an Archeologist digging through the detritus left behind in some far-off land. How could her twin be so different? Was it because they grew up separately? If she'd lived with Molly all her life, would Mabel have become a different person? Would living with Kurt Hummel change her?
No, it was only for a little while, only until both she and Molly got a feel for what each other's parents were like. Then they would switch back, live their own lives until they could convince their dads to let them visit each other. That's how it had to be.
At the hotel, Molly was relieved to find out that she had a separate room from Noah, even if they were connected. While she was still figuring out how to be Mabel, a little privacy was going to be a must. It might also help Molly understand why her twin had more product stuffed into her overnight bag than a troupe of clowns. Due to her father's influence, Molly knew for the most part what each bottle was for and how expensive they were, but she was fucked if she knew how to use them.
"Stop swearing," Molly told herself aloud out of habit. "It's nasty and uncouth."
"And here I thought," Noah Puckerman's voice filled the room, chuckling, "that swearing was awesome and badass."
Molly laughed a little, awkwardly, and the way Noah tensed up made her think maybe she'd blown her cover. But, he just shook his head a little sadly and said, "Anything in particular you want to see tomorrow? Lots of history around here, I guess."
"So?" Molly asked, confused.
"Last time I checked," Noah explained with an indulgent smile, "the History Channel was your favorite."
Molly realized that maybe she and Mabel didn't have much more in common than a face, so she smiled and said, "Of course. Yeah. That's me. History buff. Let's do that, then…"
"Don't suppose you'd want to go see a baseball game with me?" Noah added, looking like he was setting himself up for disappointment. The funny thing was that Molly loved baseball, especially this late in the season when everything got intense. And to see Boston baseball? That would be even better.
"I guess I could go," she shrugged, trying to play it cool even though she was jumping up and down on the inside. "If you want. I mean, I wouldn't mind."
Noah looked at her for a moment before shaking his head, "Nah. You'll just get bored. We'll do something else tomorrow night."
"No!" Molly cried, wincing at how loud her voice sounded. "I mean, no, Dad. I'd like to go see a baseball game with you. We're going."
"Ah," Noah smiled slowly until he was grinning, pulling Molly close and kissing the top of her head. "There's my little dictator. Baseball it is! Now it's late. Get some sleep, Peach-pie. Big day tomorrow."
"History and baseball," Molly agreed, watching as Noah-freaking-Puckerman left her room and closed the door gently behind him.
Just when Molly was about to breathe a sigh of relief and say, "So far, so good," the door opened again.
"Oh, don't forget about Temple tomorrow morning, May," Noah mentioned. "Steve found us a good one to go to. You know, not to stiff or whatever."
"Sure," Molly agreed, already reaching for her phone as the door closed again, so she could yell into Mabel's ear, "Temple?"
"It'll be fine," Mabel replied softly, trying not to let the girls in the front seat listen in on who she was talking to. "Just tell Dad you don't feel well and pretend to be spacey all morning. He'll feed you brunch after Temple, and you can have a miraculous recovery."
"But I've never been to church!" Molly hissed, obviously trying to keep her voice down, too. "I have no idea what to do!"
Mabel sighed and said, "Just mumble along with all the prayers and follow Dad's lead. If he thinks you're sick, he won't care if you mess stuff up. He'll just be that much more eager to feed you."
"Is he one of those people who tries to solve everything with food?" Molly asked, and Mabel could almost feel the eye-roll.
Chuckling a little, Mabel replied, "And exercise. He gets the food part from Nana and the exercise part from being a jock in high-school. Don't worry. You'll get used to it."
"He was a jock?" Molly asked, sounding shocked. "But his music is so sensitive!"
Mabel laughed again and shook her head. "Anything more I should know about 'Grandpa' and 'Grandma'? Or 'Dad' for that matter?"
"Call him Daddy most of the time," Molly suggested. "And try not to spend too much time with Grandpa Burt. He'll try to get you to play soccer with him, but his heart just can't take it."
"Won't be a problem," Mabel insisted. "I wouldn't touch a soccer field unless it was covered with Prada."
Molly made a noise that sounded sort of like a hiss over the phone and said, "That's gonna be a problem. We've got practice Monday and Wednesday, and a game on Friday that Daddy said he'd be home in time for. You might have to fake an injury."
"Like what?" Mabel asked, suddenly concerned and realizing that those cleat-tips in Molly's bag should have clued her in to the fact that her twin was, apparently, athletic.
"Don't say anything's broken, 'cause they'll just take x-rays and show that it's not," Molly mused. "Oh, fake a bad strain, like, roll your ankle or something. That always seems to work when my friend Roger wants to get out of gym class, the putz."
"You have a boyfriend?" Mabel asked, wondering if being thirteen meant something different in New York than it did in LA, where girls and boys were just starting to notice one another.
Molly laughed long and loud before replying, "Are you crazy? I have a friend who is a boy, because we both like soccer and comic books, but I don't have a boyfriend. Why, do you?"
"No," Mabel insisted, suddenly realizing Hannah was looking back at her with a funny expression. "Look. I've got to go. Call me tomorrow sometime."
She thought she heard Molly call, "No! Wait-" but Molly hung up anyway, smiling up at Hannah.
"Who was that? It's almost one in the morning," Hannah said, brushing her hair back from sleepy eyes.
"Um..." Mabel stalled, knowing she couldn't tell the truth because Molly said Hannah was a notorious gossip. "That was my ... cousin," she finally said, "from LA. Always forgets there's a time-difference."
"I thought your cousins all lived in Ohio," she said, starting to look more suspicious.
"On my mom's side," Mabel guessed. "Second cousins."
As if finally getting the point that she didn't want to talk about her second cousins, Hannah rolled here eyes and said, "Whatever. How much longer 'till we get home, Jo?"
"Maybe an hour," Hannah's older sister said, taking a long swallow of her coffee. "Traffic's always weird when we get closer to the city."
Realizing she might soon be able to see the bright lights of New York City, Mabel pressed her nose to the glass, eagerly awaiting that first glint of light. The Big Apple. Broadway!
Finally!
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