M
In my room the night breathed through the curtains, revealing moments of a deep sky. I wasn't permitted to leave the curtains open at night. There was a light rain and I wished to feel it on my face. There was a gallery of stars and I desired their glow to fall on my palm. These are merely gentle sensations, and neither are allowed for me. So I remained fixed, bare feet on the cool tatami, still, head raised, waiting for the sky to reappear, if only briefly.
There are things that I knew before marrying my husband, and things I could not have known. Hiroshi was sweet, a good man, even if hesitant and retiring. He still is a good man. But before we were engaged I knew it wasn't love like I had known. I love him still, but even then I knew I could not grow to love him as much as… oh, as much as I could. These things I knew.
The Monarchy had expectations about the place of its princess, about the presented face of an age-old line. Marrying into it involved cutting off decidedly from the life I had known. These things I accepted.
When my mother discovered news of our University 'courtship,' she almost wept with pride. What a perfect lady I would be, had become. What a stunning success it was to have offspring suited to fit the role of flawless femininity. Demure, elegant, gracious… and a thousand more words for an empty existence. That I had not expected.
As one of the Imperial family, divorce was unheard of. Being outspoken, or overshadowing your husband did not occur. Embarrassment was not an actuality. Freedom… Freedom was not mine to possess. The bodyguards were the tip of the iceberg, defense of the royal family extended to protection of the public profile – which meant where I was had already been decided. The clothes on my body, the words at my lips were gauged for appropriateness by an external body. That I could not have known.
So, understandably, this night had thrown me. The perfect shock of this woman, this Tenoh. I still felt the roughness of her push and the softening of her hands around my waist. They were warm, and beside my face, possessed the scent of sandalwood. It was so dark, I barely had the chance to take her in, and yet that wasn't what struck me. It could certainly be said she was beautiful, but so accustomed to organized beauty as I have become, it was her wildness, her physicality that stayed with me.
H
The morning descended on me with a volley of electronic double beeps.
Wake up.
Get up.
No Time.
To act.
Like the.
Wreck that.
You are.
I slammed the pager. There was no conceivable reason work should be calling in on me, I wasn't due for my shift for a good twelve hours.
Wreck was an understatement, K.O.ed, steam-rolled, and imploded would be more accurate. Of course had I not been so wired over my last nights colossal screw-up, had I not headed for the club after work, had I not lost count of how many drinks it was and had I not only come home two hours ago after 'meeting' that charming girl at the bar, who's name I forget at present… well, things might have been different.
"SECURITY ISSUE: ASSISTANCE REQUIRED ASAP." Read the line of text. Bastards. I wasn't getting dressed up for this. Not on my day off.
And so it was, as my unadjusted rear-view mirror unkindly established, I left for work with sunglasses crooked, collar up, and shirt badly buttoned. I had managed to tie my shoelaces, though the head rush was hardly worth it.
"Tenoh! What part of A.S.A.P. don't you recognize?!" Blasted my supervisor at my first footstep into his office.
"The part where I'm not on duty, perhaps?"
"Don't get smart! You have been requested by the occupant of 15.24.0."
"The…? Quit the code words! Why can't you deal with her?!"
"Code is to maintain security! And…" He sighed. "She wanted a woman."
"Really?" I felt no need to mask my sarcasm.
"Just Move!"
Two impassive guards waited beside the open door to the room.
"Through here?"
"…"
"I don't see her…?"
"…"
"I'll just go through shall I?"
"…"
Idiots. The door was closed behind me.
"Princess?"
"in here." Came a small voice from beyond the ensuite door.
"What are you… Are you okay?"
"…no."
"Can you open the door?"
"can't get to the door. 's locked"
"Okay, move back."
"i am."
It took one kick to swing it open, slamming loudly against the wall. She screamed. Understandable.
"You're… dressed strangely?"
"You're in a towel, I'm making no apologies."
"But… sunglasses inside?"
"Whatever! Was there a reason for me driving over here to kick down your door?"
"No. I think you might have killed it." She peered over at the door nervously. Madwoman. "Don't look at me like that!"
"Killed… who?"
"Spider."
"A spider?" I approached the door, pulling it back gently. A spider-sized splat on the wall was suitable confirmation of her suspicions.
"It crawled over onto the door knob…" Her hand came up to her mouth nervously while she stared fixedly at the newly acquired wall feature as though it were about to reanimate at any second. "I couldn't get out… all my clothes are in the other room, I couldn't have any of the male guards come in… I've been waiting about half an hour…"
"A spider." I repeated flatly.
"Why are you wearing sunglasses?" she approached suddenly, taking them from my face. I winced at the glare of white ceramics.
"Your face…!"
"It's called a hangover… you don't have to be so extreme."
"You're hurt…" She touched my cheek, I pulled back. It stung. Glancing around at the mirror I saw there was a slight bruise on my cheek.
"Ha." I again touched my cheek and again regretted it."
"Probably result of that tackle that never happened, with that enemy that never existed."
M
In the morning light, as the steam from the shower settled and dissipated I had to take back my previous judgment. She was beautiful, conventionally and unconventionally. Her sleepy eyes in bright green took in the daylight like a child – overwhelmed and slightly defensive. Her hair was tousled, the color of faded driftwood, gold where it caught the disordered light. In her crumpled shirt, creased trousers, no make up and without careful posture…
She was gorgeous as chaos.
"Your towel is… uh…"
"Oh!" I clasped it back up to my collarbone."