Shawn sauntered into class just after the bell rang and took his seat. Shawn had wandered around the hallways for a while before class started to avoid Cory and Topanga. He had gotten a few strange looks and tried to fix the make up just before class. He thought that it looked a bit more natural now, but Shawn's a guy, what does he know about make up?
"Nice of you to join us Hunter." Their English teacher, Johnathan Turner, said as he handed back some graded papers.
"I'm thrilled to be here too." Shawn answered sarcastically, smiling widely. Turner gave him a weird look and Shawn toned the smile down a little, mentally chastising himself. 'Play it cool,' Shawn reminded himself just as Cory turn to him.
"Where were you this morning?" Cory asked curiously. Unless one of them was skipping, or sick, or in trouble they always met up in the morning before class.
"Oh, I got here late." Shawn answered with the first lie that popped into his head.
"But, you were here before I was. You called me from the payphone, remember?" Cory reminded him, his tone suspicious and his face concerned. Shawn wanted to bang his head against the nearest wall for forgetting such vital information. Panicking, Shawn tried to think of another cover up, and was thankfully saved by Turner.
"Hunter, Mathews. I'm trying to teach a class here." Turner said from the front of the room. Cory looked as though he was about to argue so Shawn grabbed his shoulders and spun him around so that Cory was facing front. Shawn heard Cory sigh in frustration and sighed in relief- he just dodged a bullet. However, Shawn still needed a cover story for how he called from school early, but got in late.
A dull throbbing began behind Shawn's eyes and he closed them tightly to block out the harsh florescence lights of the classroom. Despite his best efforts Shawn could feel himself drifting off and, unable to resist any longer, Shawn fell asleep.
Suddenly, Shawn felt a hand on his shoulder and jerked upright, shouting "DON'T!" Shawn's head swiveled around drastically as he looked for his mother, wondering what he had done to make her upset with him now.
"Shawn?" Turner asked cautiously, his hands raised in the air in the universal 'I wont hurt you' sign.
Shawn's eyes sought out Turner's and he groaned as he realized that he must have fallen asleep, and Turner was innocently trying to wake him up. Shawn looked around the rest of the room and was dismayed to realize that the entire class was watching him now with hawk-like eyes, especially Cory, Turner and Topanga.
"Shawn, are you okay?" Cory asked, staring at Shawn with some emotion that Shawn didn't recognize immediately. A few moments later, when Cory exchanged the same look with Topanga, Shawn realized that it was fear. Cory was afraid for him and obviously worried. Shawn really sucked at covering things up when it involved himself. If he had to cover for someone else, sure- no problem. But trying to cover for himself was futile. Still, Shawn was never one to give up easily.
"What?" Shawn asked to stall for time. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and stared at Turner as he slowly lowered his hands. "I, uh, I had a nightmare." Shawn mumbled, incredibly embarrassed. Some of the class laughed at this pronouncement, but it didn't look as though Cory, Turner or Topanga were buying it.
"Shawn-" Cory began, his face scrunched with concern.
"Look, it was just a stupid nightmare okay. Just leave me alone." Shawn said angrily, standing up and turning to run from the classroom. That was something that Shawn really hated about himself sometimes. Whenever things got difficult, he ran from them. Shawn didn't want to be like that- to be like his father.
Before Shawn could leave Turner stepped in front of the door, blocking his exit. "I don't think so Hunter. We need to talk about you sleeping in my class." He said, his eyes scrutinizing Shawn's face and body language. Turner could tell that there was something off about Shawn. Shawn was hunched in front of him, almost as if he were afraid of something, and he was avoiding eye contact- both behaviors were unusual of him. Turner also noticed the make up that Shawn had inexpertly applied to his face and all of these factors combined to make him very suspicious.
"Come on, man. So I fell asleep. What's the big deal?" Shawn replied angrily. He knew that Turner didn't want talk about his sleeping habits. Turner could always tell when something was wrong when they were still living together, but Shawn did not want to talk about anything with him. And, even if Shawn did want to talk, he couldn't. Shawn just got back together with his family, he finally has his mother and father together, in the same place, and he wasn't going to ruin that because of a few nominal bruises.
"It is a big deal Shawn." Turner said, his intuition screaming at him that something is wrong. Shawn gave him a look of death before flouncing back to his seat and roughly throwing himself into it. Shawn knew that, to the rest of the class, it probably looked like he was over reacting, but he wasn't. Turner was trying to break up his family by digging into what is bothering him and Shawn wasn't about to let that happen.
"The rest of you can go." Turner said, his eyes never leaving Shawn's face as he watched conflicting emotions run through him quicker then Turner could identify them. "Except for Mathews, you can stay."
"But, class doesn't end for another ten minuets. Where are we supposed to go?" Topanga asked in confusion. She looked around for the support of her fellow classmates, only to find that most of them had already fled the classroom.
"Go do some homework." Turner said. Topanga hesitated before grabbing her stuff, lighting brushing Cory's shoulder and leaving.
"Look, I'm sorry I fell asleep. Okay?" Shawn asked aggressively, standing up and reaching down to grab his backpack.
"Hunter, you know that's not what I wanted to talk about." Turner said, staring at Shawn in confusion and worry. "What's going on?" He asked, his voice softer. Turner and Shawn used to talk about everything before he moved out and Turner wished that he would talk to him now.
"Nothing's going on!" Shawn denied vehemently, his voice rising with fear. They couldn't find out. If they did, then they might try to take him away from his family. Verna was just adjusting to him and Chet again and she's just stressed right now. In a few days this will probably all blow over, but it won't have the chance to blow over if these two keep trying to interfere.
"Shawnie, we just want to help." Cory tried, using Shawn's nickname to try to comfort him. Shawn's lips turned up at the corners, just barely, at how much Cory and Turner obviously cared for him. But the thought of losing his family due to their meddling quickly pushed the smile off of his face.
"You want to help?" Shawn asked quietly, swinging his backpack over his shoulder. "Then mind your own business." Shawn stormed from the room.
"I'm worried about him." Cory said simply, turning to Turner for some kind of advice. Turner was watching Shawn's retreating back and sighed.
"So am I." He answered, vowing to keep a closer eye on Shawn from now on. Turner knew that something was up, but he just couldn't put the pieces together to figure out what.
"What do we do?" Cory asked him, also turning to watch as Shawn kicked a garbage can before angrily rounding the corner.
"We just be there for him. He'll talk when he's ready." Turner said wisely, turning around and walking back to his desk to prepare for his next class. The bell rang a moment later and Cory left the room quietly, immersed in his thoughts about his best friend.
Shawn spent the rest of the day avoiding Cory when he could, and ignoring him when he couldn't. Thankfully, Cory seemed to have lay off and didn't pester him about anything. Cory just let him sit in silence, and sat next to him. Shawn couldn't have been more grateful.
Shawn walked home slowly. He didn't want to go home yet, just in case his mother was there, but Shawn didn't want to spend the rest of his life avoiding going home. He had to go home sometime, and that time might as well be now.
Shawn timidly opened the trailer door and peered inside. Verna was at the kitchen table, and Shawn couldn't see Chet. Shawn felt his face tighten with fear and took a deep breath. Verna was probably remorseful over what happened, she was probably waiting for him to get back so she could apologize. Yeah, that's it.
Shawn stepped into the trailer, closed the door and dropped his backpack to the ground. Shawn took off his coat and hung it on the hook. Verna turned around and stood up.
"Shawn, we need to talk." Verna said, her face serious. Shawn nearly sighed in relief. She really did feel bad about what happened.
"Mom, it's okay." Shawn said, smiling at his mother forgivingly. He knew she would never hurt him on purpose.
"It's okay?" Verna asked. Her tone and face were strange. She didn't seem relieved that Shawn forgave her, nor did she seem happy or sad or any other emotion that Shawn would expect. She looked angry.
"Yeah. Mom, don't worry about it. I knew that you wouldn't hit me on purpose. I forgive you." Shawn said, more cautiously now. Something wasn't going right here and Shawn backtracked desperately, trying to figure out what when wrong so quickly.
"You forgive me?" Verna repeated, her voice clipped. She scoffed and Shawn felt the smile slide off of his face. Something was wrong here. "For what? I didn't do anything wrong Shawn. I'm your parent and I punished you. That's my job." Verna lectured, stalking forward predatorily. Shawn backed up and felt his back hit the door with a thud. He reached for the knob but, too late, Verna caught his wrist in a vice like grip.
"Don't..." Shawn said, his tone aggressive.
"Do not speak to me like that Shawn Hunter!" Verna said, her face ugly with rage. She tightened her grip on Shawn's wrist and dragged him forcefully across the living room and into the kitchen. Shawn had no choice but to go along with her.
"Let go!" Shawn demanded. He hissed in pain as Verna's grip on his wrist got tighter and tighter. Shawn was sure it would leave a mark.
Verna ignored Shawn and threw him into a chair. "Sit." She said, before turning and leaving the room.
Shawn's heart was pounding and his breathing turned frantic as his fight or flight instincts kicked in. Shawn was in danger- he understood that. Shawn tried to think logically. His mom was just in the next room, if he tried to make a run for it she would hear him and could quite possibly catch him.
Shawn's feet were tapping on the floor in anticipation and, finally, Shawn just went for it. Shawn stood up so quickly that the chair he was sitting in toppled over with a loud crash. Without the slightest hesitation Shawn raced around the table and sprinted towards the door.
Shawn never heard it coming. Instead, he felt a burning stripe of pain rage across his back and the sound that left his mouth was primal- a sound of defeat. Shawn tripped and fell to his knees. Desperately, he tried to scramble back to his feet, but felt another lash of pain across his back.
Shawn moaned in pain and fell forward onto his stomach on the ground. That's when Shawn started to lose track of time. All he could feel was the torturous pain. The galling pain blinded him, and Shawn knew that Verna was screaming at him- but he couldn't concentrate on the words. All he could hear was blood rushing through his ears and his heart pounding in his chest. The pain was all encompassing, and Shawn was disturbingly reminded of fire. A fire that continuously lit into him, causing moans and screams to escape from his mouth.
'This pain is never going to stop!' Shawn thought with panic. He had to do something. Slowly, Shawn tried to lever himself up with his arm enough to roll over. Maybe if she didn't have his back as a target then Verna would go away. After a few seconds of difficult effort Shawn forced himself onto his side and let out a disturbing sound between a gasp and scream as he saw a heavy belt aimed at his side.
Verna hit his side harshly and Shawn screamed out in pain. She raised to swing again but stopped and stared at him. Her chest was heaving, her eyes were frantically running over his body and she had a disturbing frown on her face. Shawn felt fear like he never had before and did something he never thought he would do.
"Please." Shawn begged quietly, just now realizing that he must have been crying for a while as tears started running down his face at an unbelievably fast pace. "Stop, please." Shawn said, louder now as the tears drenched his face.
Verna watched him for a moment longer before dropping the belt to the ground. "I don't need this." She said, her voice breathless as her chest continued heaving. "I'm going out." She continued, grabbing her jacket and opening the door. "Tell your father I'll be back for dinner." Verna called over her shoulder as she slammed the door behind her.
Shawn laid on the floor for a while and cried. The harder he cried, the worse his back hurt, but Shawn couldn't help it. He didn't do anything to provoke her, Verna just seemed to snap for no reason.
After what seemed like forever, but was probably only an hour, Shawn inched his way onto his hands and knees. Shawn used the back of his fathers armchair to pull himself into a standing position. Shawn groaned loudly as the wounds on his back seemed to reopen and he nearly stuffed his entire fist into his mouth to keep from screaming again.
Shawn slowly made his way over to the kitchen table and sat down heavily, making sure his back didn't touch the chair and wrapping an arm around his side protectively. Shawn glanced at the table and sighed. That's why Verna was so upset. His report card sat on the table, several D's glaring up at him mockingly.
Shawn became very conflicted. Did this mean that he deserved what he got? There's no way, no one deserves that. And Shawn definitely couldn't contribute all of that to stress. That wasn't just a parent punishing their kid, or someone who was too stressed out. That was abuse.
Shawn gripped the table and stood up. He hobbled his way out of the kitchen and into the bathroom.
He locked the door and turned to the mirror. His face was covered with dry tear tracks and fresh tears. His eyes were bloodshot, and his face was red. Shawn didn't bother to wash his face yet. As much as he didn't want to, he knew that he would probably be crying before he left again. Slowly, agonizingly, Shawn pulled his shirt over his head and gasped. It was a white tee- or, it used to be a white tee. Now, the back half was covered in rips and panic-inducing blood.
Shawn found his breathing increasing and it turned frenzied. He stared at the shirt in disbelief and try to take a deep, steadying, breath. Instead, Shawn winced and cried out at a sharp pain he felt in his side. Shawn tried to prepare himself for what he would see, but nothing could prepare him for what he saw in the mirror.
Shawn twisted and turned in front of the mirror to see his back from every angle, and felt his eyes fill up and the tears run down his face without any conscious thought to them. His back was criss-crossed with angry red welts and deep lashes, some of which were still bleeding.
"Why would she do this to me?" Shawn asked out loud. He gasped in surprise. His voice was raw, which he had expected, but it was also high and had a pleading note to it now.
Shawn turned on the shower, waited for the water to warm up, and stepped under the warm spray. Shawn screamed in pain as the spray hit his back and Shawn sank to his knees in the shower and sobbed unrestrained. Why would Verna do this to him? Shawn didn't make excuses for her this time. She crossed a line and Shawn knew that if he was in less pain, and therefore able to move without screaming, he would already be out of here and halfway to Cory's house.
Instead, Shawn sat under the hot water, pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapped his arms around himself and tried not to move.