"Every story starts somewhere." John said wisely, taking his hands off of Shawn's shoulders and motioning for Cory to do the same. John wanted to comfort Shawn, but he could tell that any kind of physical contact was out of the question right now. Shawn's shoulder's had been unbearably tense and he was trembling slightly. Shawn's face had a look of instant, though short lived, relief once Cory and John weren't touching him anymore.
Shawn sighed loudly and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He didn't know where to start, or how to. Shawn had never been very good at expressing himself verbally, which is one of the reasons why he wrote poetry. There were things that Shawn couldn't say, so he could write them instead. Shawn wished he didn't have to explain this. He wished there was some way that they could just know what happened, without any explanation necessary.
Shawn shifted uncomfortably under Cory and John's intense stares. He bit his lip as the movement caused his back to sting painfully. The sudden flare of pain gave him an idea. An idea that was probably going to end in some sort of epic disaster, as was Shawn's luck, but it was his best shot.
"I can't tell you." Shawn said, glancing at John and Corry's equally crestfallen and frustrated looks. Shawn took a deep breath and lowered his gaze to his hands. "But I can show you." Shawn whispered softly.
"What do you mean, you can show us?" John asked, watching Shawn cautiously. Honestly, John didn't know how to handle this situation. He had never run into a problem like this before, and was way out of his league. Sure, when you become a teacher you have to go through certain classes that are supposed to teach you how to deal with this issue, but there was a big difference between hearing someone lecture about... what Shawn was going through and actually seeing it. John sighed as he realized that he couldn't even force himself to think the word... abuse. It's such an ugly word and John desperately wished that that wasn't what was happening here, but he couldn't think of any other option.
Shawn stood up and slipped his jacket off of his shoulders, letting it slide to the floor.
"What are you doing?" Cory asked, fear prominent in his face and voice. Cory wanted to help his friend, he wanted to keep him safe and make sure that no one would hurt him anymore, but he didn't know how. Cory was scared, not just of what was happening to Shawn, but what he was about to see. Anticipation coursed through Cory and he sucked in a deep breath to try to control his panicked heart rate.
Shawn slowly started to remove his shirt. He gasped in pain and had to pause to catch his breath several times. John offered to help him, but Shawn shook his head. Despite how much he loved both Cory and John, he didn't want either of them touching him right now. The very thought made him tense almost to the point of immobility. Finally, with excruciating effort, Shawn managed to lift the shirt above his head.
Shawn closed his eyes for a moment to catch his breath. Shawn's heart was pounding manically and he was terrified of their reactions, almost to the point where he wished he could put his shirt back on and just keep trying to pretend that nothing was happening, but Shawn was more afraid of what would happen if he didn't tell them.
"Oh my God!" Cory shrieked, causing Shawn to jump. He glanced down and saw a large welt across his side and groaned. He had forgotten about that particular blow. "Shawnie-" Cory began, the tears that had welled up in his eyes falling softly.
"Wait." Shawn said, his voice shaking madly as his body trembled. He swallowed his fear, and turned around so they could see the damage that had been inflicted on his back.
"Shawn!" John exclaimed, horrified. The one wound on his side was bad enough, but seeing his back made John's eyes swim with a combination of tears and rage at whoever did this to him. Shawn's back was a myriad of welts. Angry red lash marks marred his skin as the welts criss crossed and overlapped each other. Some had dug so deep into his skin that they bled. Dried and crusted blood left a horrifying trail down his back, and there was a new layer of fresh blood coating his skin. Still visible underneath the blood were large, purple bruises.
"Who did this to you?" John asked, his voice catching in his throat as he struggled not to lose control of himself. As much as he wanted to break down into tears at the sight before him, John was the adult here and knew that Shawn needed him. He had to hold himself together.
"M-my mom." Shawn stuttered, turning back around and wrapping his arms around himself protectively. John was staring at him with misty eyes and a completely shocked expression, while Cory stood there dumbfounded. Cory's mind was whirling and unable to comprehend what he heard and saw in front of him. No one could hurt Shawn like that, right?
"What did you do?" Cory exclaimed stupidly. The second the words left his mouth his eyes widened and he clapped a hand over his mouth. He hadn't meant that! Cory meant to asked, 'Why would she do this to you?' But Cory was so overcome with shock that his words got muddled and confused.
John sent him a sharp, reprimanding look and wondered if it had been such a good idea to let Cory be involved in this situation. Cory was just a kid, of course it was probably too much for him to handle. But, when John invited Cory along, he thought that Shawn could use the extra support. John also had realized how intense Shawn's injuries would be.
Shawn's eyes filled with tears. Cory blamed him for this? Did Cory actually think that this was all Shawn's fault? Doubt began to creep into Shawn's consciousness. Maybe this really was his fault. He was the one who got the bad grades, and he did try to make a run for it. Maybe she wouldn't have hurt him so badly if he hadn't run. And, if Shawn hadn't gotten the bad grades then she wouldn't have had a reason to hurt him in the first place.
"What?" Shawn asked, bewildered and hurt. Shawn was seriously confused. If Cory thought it was his fault, then maybe it was. Maybe Shawn was just being a baby about this whole situation... maybe it wasn't as bad as he thought.
"Shawn... I didn't mean it that way..." Cory trailed off, his voice getting scratchy as tears slowly worked their way down his cheeks once he realized his mistake.
Shawn glared at Cory angrily for a minuet before reaching for his shirt and forcing his arms and head through the appropriate holes. Once the shirt was on Shawn grabbed his coat and put it back on.
"Shawn, what are you doing?" John asked cautiously, watching Shawn's movements wearily. He couldn't let Shawn leave, not after what Shawn told them. John refused to let Shawn get hurt again, he had to help him.
Shawn was confused and he was angry; which is always a dangerous combination. Did he really deserve what happened? Maybe he did, but even if he did Cory was his best friend and should be supportive. Shawn's doubt wavered as a paralyzing spasm of pain shot through his back and decided that there wasn't a single thing he could have done to deserve a beating like that. His mom took things way too far and Shawn wasn't going to put up with this.
"You think I deserved that?" Shawn exclaimed angrily. "I thought we were friends, Cory." Cory was shaking his head desperately, his mouth opening and closing silently. "I guess I was wrong." Shawn finished, his voice husky as he tried to hold back tears.
"Shawn, I didn't- I'm sorry-" Cory stuttered, incapable of forming a coherent thought or sentence at the moment. Cory was horrified at how quickly this went bad. Cory knew that Shawn was always worried about being unable to trust people and he didn't want to prove him right. "Shawn, stay... I didn't..." Cory trailed off at the look of death that Shawn sent him. "You are my best friend Shawn." Cory said loudly as Shawn stomped towards the door.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't leave." John said, racing forward and grabbing Shawn's shoulder tightly.
"Let go of me!" Shawn screamed, his face twisted in rage and fear. He knew that John was trying to say something comforting to him, but all Shawn could think about was the pain that was radiating through his body as he struggled against John desperately.
Shawn struggled so furiously that his back accidentally hit the wall next to the door he was trying to escape through. Shawn cried out in pain and John lessened his grip, staring at Shawn cautiously.
"Shawn, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" John asked, nearly releasing his hold on Shawn. He just wanted to help him!
"Please let go. Please." Shawn begged, staring up at John with tears of panic and fear streaming down his face. Completely shocked, John let go of Shawn's shoulders. Without a second of hesitation, Shawn darted out the door and ran from the school, never looking back.