Remus was extremely relieved the next morning when Tonks and Sirius didn't burst into song when he came down the stairs.

"Morning." He said, taking a piece of toast.

"Morning Joe." said Sirius.

"Nice to see ya, Luke!" Tonks yawned.

Remus looked around the room. It was empty. "Who's Joe and Luke?" Remus asked, confused.

"I dunno Mike." Tonks shrugged.

"Why are you calling me Mike?" Remus asked, frowning.

"Its your nickname, silly!" Tonks laughed.

"Duh Teddy Bear!" Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

Bill walked into the kitchen, yawning. "Morning Sirius. Tonks. Brandy."

"Not you too!" Remus groaned.

"What do you mean, Marcus? Just using your nicknames, Steve!"

"Well, I'm going out." Remus hurried up the stairs to the front door.

"See ya Frank!" Tonks called.

"Right, so who wants to ask the big question?" Tonks asked. "I did the last one."

"Ill do it," Sirius offered. "But when to ask? Hmm…"

That night at dinner…

"Max, can you pass the spuds?" Tonks asked.

Everyone starred at her.

"Who's Max?" Molly asked.

"oh, we gave Remus some new nicknames." Tonks smiled.

"Can you pass the spuds, Garry?" Tonks looked expectantly at Remus.

"Fine." He passed her the bowl.

"Thanks Alex."

"How many nicknames did you give Remus, dear?" Molly asked.

"I dunno. I'm not keeping track." Tonks said through a mouthful of potato.

"Colin, pass the salt." Sirius said to Remus.

Remus rolled his eyes and threw the salt shaker across the table to Sirius.

"Remus!" Molly exclaimed.

"That wasn't very nice Dave!" Tonks scolded.

Remus was seething. What were they doing? How were those nicknames? They were totally unrelated. He got up and left the table before he was tempted to strangle someone. Namely Sirius.

"See ya tomorrow Eddie!" Bill called.

The next day…

Remus went down to the kitchen early, so that he could eat his breakfast in peace. Unfortunately, he was followed almost immediately by Sirius, Bill, and a sleepy Tonks, who was still in her pyjamas.

"Nice pyjamas." He smirked. Tonks stuck out her tongue.

"Morning Adam."

"Hi George."

"Hey Benji."

Remus tried to ignore them, but Sirius sat in front of him.

"I've got a question for you, Han Solo."

"What?"

"Where do babies come from?"

"What?!" Remus yelled, jumping out of his seat.

"Where do babies come from Sam?" Sirius repeated.

"Ask Molly!" Remus exclaimed. Sirius shook his head.

"No! You're my friend, Jake. I want you to tell me." Sirius said with a straight face.

"Too bad. I'm not telling you." Remus stormed out of the room.

"Ill get it out of him." Sirius assured the others.

Remus was having a nice hot shower. For some reason, he kept seeing Tonks in the old, holey shirt she had been wearing downstairs. And he had to admit, she looked pretty good. He pulled back the shower curtain, and gave a yell.

"Sirius! What are you doing?"

Sirius got off the floor, smirking at Remus, who was trying to cover himself with the curtain.

"Where do babies come from?" He asked innocently.

"Get out!" Remus shouted.

When Remus went to his room later that day to fill out a report for Dumbledore, he found Sirius sitting cross legged on his bed.

"Where do babies come from?"

"Sirius! You know perfectly well where babies come from." Remus said irritably.

"No I don't."

Remus starred at Sirius, who had hung his head, shamefaced.

Man I'm a good actor, Sirius thought.

"Really? Your parents never told you?" Remus asked, surprised. Sirius shook his head.

"Well… I suppose id better tell you then." Remus said, taking pity on his friend. Sirius looked up, relieved.

"Thanks Ned. You're the best!" Sirius exclaimed. "Can you imagine what Molly would say if I asked her?" they both shuddered.

"Urgh… but I'm only going to tell you if you behave at dinner tonight. Got it?" Remus said sternly. Sirius nodded enthusiastically, then left Remus to do his report.

"I did it!" Sirius exclaimed, going into Tonks' room, where she and Bill were waiting, listening to music.

"He actually told you?" Tonks asked, surprised.

"No, but he's gonna tell me tomorrow!"

"Hi-5!" Said Bill, and they exchanged hi-5s.

Dinner that night passed without incident.

But Sirius was up bright and early for his talk with Remus.

Bill and Tonks sat outside Remus' door, an extendable ear attached to one of their own.

"So Sirius, I'm gonna skip the whole sex bit, because id have to be an absolute retard to think you didn't know about that."

"Dang it!" Tonks cursed. "I was looking forward to that!" they went back to Remus and Sirius' conversation.

"But when a…"

Tonks and Bill sat at the door, faces frozen with looks of horror and disgust.

"Ewww!" Tonks cried.

From inside came a loud laugh. "You expect me to believe that? I'm not stupid, you know!"

"But that's the truth!" Remus protested.

"Sure it is. I cant believe you wont take me seriously, Moony!"

Tonks and Bill scattered as Sirius came out of Remus' room, disgust etched in his face. As soon as he slammed the door, he turned to Tonks.

"I am so unbelievably glad I'm not a girl. I feel so sorry for you. Now when you get grumpy every month, ill know why." he shuddered as Tonks started to giggle.

"We have success!" Bill laughed.