A/N: Okay, so it's taken be 20 days to upload this chapter. I would just like to take this opportunity to say: I AM SOOO EPICALLY SORRY! I never meant to abandon this story, but this month was review/midterm exam month so I really had to focus on my schoolwork. However, I only have one midterm left on Monday, and it's open note (YES!) so I finally could update! Thank Goddess for snow days! Okay, so I really hope you enjoy this chapter. Hopefully, I will be able to update again either sometime this weekend or on Tuesday.
AN2: Thanks to my anonymous reviewer Jessica!
So, without further ado, Enjoy:
"No!" Shawn refused, for what must have been the thousandth time. John sighed at his stubbornness and Cory merely grinned.
"Shawn-" John began, his voice growing obviously impatient.
"There is no way I'm eating that!" Shawn declared, pointing an accusing finger at a pile of what was supposed to be food that was sitting in front of him. It was around noon and Shawn was waiting for the social worker to come by at two. He was nervous, especially since John told him that the social worker wanted to talk to him alone. Shawn had asked if John could be there with him, and John said not at first, but maybe after a couple of minuets.
"Shawn, you need to eat healthy to get better." John reminded him for the thousand-and-first time. John's voice was highly aggravated and Shawn's pout only served to aggravate him further.
"I want something from the vending machine." Shawn pouted. He knew that, eventually, John would just give in and get him something 'unhealthy'.
It wasn't the food that Shawn was actually upset about though. He really just wanted to talk to Cory alone for a couple of minuets and getting John out of the room was a key factor in that.
"Fine." John finally caved, throwing his hands up in defeat. "I'll be right back." He called over his shoulder as he left the room. Cory grinned at Shawn and Shawn rolled his eyes.
"What's so funny?" Shawn asked after moment.
"Nothing." Cory said, still smiling. "I just think it's cute."
"What's cute?" Shawn asked in confusion; that certainly hadn't been an answer he was expecting.
"How obvious it is that you and John care for each other." Cory answered, smirking as Shawn blushed.
"Shut up." Shawn muttered, then sighed. "That's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about." Shawn said, his voice serious. The tone in the room instantly changed and Cory leaned forward in his chair.
"Yeah?" Cory prodded after a moment of silence.
Shawn took a deep breath, then sighed again. "You know how that social worker's coming by?" Shawn began. Cory tensed, but nodded. "Well, I haven't really talked to John about it much but... do you think that..." Shawn hesitated. It was true that he and John hadn't spoken about the social workers arrival. Shawn wasn't stupid, he knew that he couldn't stay in the hospital forever, he would have to leave eventually. And, when he left, he currently had no home to go to. Shawn was hoping that he could move in with John again, but every second they got closer to the arrival of the social worker and, still, John never mentioned it.
"Shawn, you know that I want to help you, but I can't if you don't tell me what the problem is." Cory said logically, staring at Shawn in concern.
"Do you think John will adopt me?" Shawn forced out. His words came out jumbled and in a rush but, somehow, Cory understood them. A strange look passed over Cory's face, confusion maybe, before he answered.
"Of course. I mean, he hasn't said anything, but I just assumed..." Cory trailed off as John walked back into the room with, what looked like, one of every option from the vending machine.
"I wasn't sure what you'd want." John admitted sheepishly, dumping the food on the tray that was sitting on Shawn's lap and apparently not noticing the way the room went silent when he walked in.
Shawn and Cory exchanged glances, then began talking about inconsequential things to fill the silence as Shawn ate. While he ate, he considered what Cory said. Maybe that was why John never brought it up, he figured it was obvious that Shawn was going to move in with him? But, if that were the case, then wouldn't there still be things they would need to talk about? Such as, if Shawn would be using the same room, when they would pick up his stuff from the trailer, when should could leave the hospital, ect? None of the above had been mentioned. In fact, Shawn realized, no one had even mentioned in passing his leaving the hospital.
Shawn wanted to bring it up with John. He knew that Cory would leave the room if he asked him too, but Shawn was too nervous to ask. He didn't want to ask only to be rejected, which Shawn felt was inevitable. Still, he didn't want to go into this meeting with the social worker blindly so, Shawn gathered up his courage and locked eyes with Cory. Shawn jerked his head to the door and Cory made a hasty, and rather lame, excuse about needing to get more food and left.
"Something wrong, Shawn?" John asked, raising his eyebrows at Cory's highly conspicuous retreat.
"Yeah." Shawn began. His voice was shaky so he cleared his throat. "I wanted to talk to you about something." He continued anxiously.
"Okay." John said, his eyebrows furrowing at the seriousness of the situation.
"It's just... I need to know if I'm moving in with you or not." Shawn said boldly. Shawn's body tensed the second the words left his mouth. He was going to be rejected, he just knew it. After all, he was already messed up when he first moved in with John, but after everything he'd been through lately he was even more messed up; he was like some kind of damaged package or something.
John stared at Shawn incredulously and then said, "Shawn, of course. I mean, only if you wanted to." John hurried to add, feeling a slow dread work it's way through his stomach as he tried to consider the possibility that Shawn didn't want to move in with him. "If there's somewhere else you'd rather go-" John began, crestfallen.
"NO!" Shawn hastened to interrupt. John raised his eyebrows and Shawn continued. "I do... want to move in with you. It's just... well, we haven't talked about it or anything..." Shawn trailed off, feeling decidedly stupid. He should have known that John would want him to move in. John wouldn't have spent all his free time at the hospital with Shawn if he was just going to ditch him.
John sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He had just assumed that Shawn knew he wanted him to move in, and now John was feeling guilty for all the anxiety he must have caused. "I'm sorry Shawn. I thought you knew that I would want you to move in." John mentally smacked himself in the head. Of course Shawn wouldn't know, he'd been abandoned more times then John could count.
"No, it's fine." Shawn said, feeling an indescribable relief course through him. Shawn smiled at John happily and held out one of the candy bars that was sprawled over his bed in a type of peace offering. "Candy bar?"
1:59. Only one minuet left until the social worker was supposed to arrive. After his talk with John, Shawn's relief had only lasted about an hour. After that, he started fidgeting anxiously again and couldn't take his mind off of the upcoming meeting.
"Shawn, chill out." John said in exasperation. Shawn was shifting around in his bed, fidgeting and basically vibrating to the point where it tired John out just to look at him.
"Sure." Shawn said. In truth, he hadn't heard a word that John said. The clock turned to 2:00 and Shawn let out a long breath. He was feeling a bit better, physically anyways. It didn't hurt as much to move, but he knew that his face must still look pretty bad. He could feel the raised welts when he brought a hand up to his face, and he still caught Cory or John flinch when they thought he wasn't looking.
Suddenly, Mrs. Matthews walked in the room to talk Cory home for the afternoon. He would come back again tomorrow after school. Thankfully, Cory's mom had let him stay at the hospital today, rather then go to school, but he had to go back tomorrow.
Mrs. Matthews eyes were sad as they passed over Shawn's face. That was one thing that he hated about getting visits from her, and Mr. Matthews. Their eyes were always sad when they looked at him, and Mrs. Matthews eyes were always glassy- as if she were on the edge of tears.
"Hey, Shawn." She greeted him, trying to look cheerful and failing rather miserably. "How are you doing?" She asked with genuine concern.
"Fine." He told her, just as he told her every other time she came to visit- though she never seemed to believe him.
"Good luck, Shawnie." Cory said, patting Shawn's arm as he stood up.
"Thanks, man." Shawn said, waving as he and his mom left.
"Shawn, just remember that you need to be completely honest with the social worker, okay?" John said, his face pinched with worry and not a small amount concern.
"I know." Shawn said with exasperation, rolling his eyes. 'No,' Shawn thought sarcastically, 'I'm going to lie my butt off so I can go back to living with Verna.' Shawn rolled his eyes again.
"I'll be right in the waiting room if you need me." John told him, and just as Shawn was about to reply, a young women walked into the room. She was pretty, Shawn thought. Her dirty blond hair was pulled back in a tight, and professional looking bun. She had blue eyes that were partially hidden behind square, wire rimmed glasses. She was graying a navy blue business suit and smile softly as she entered the room.
"Hello." She said to John and Cory. This women had a strong voice, and she sounded very confident. "My name is Paige Burkley. You can call me Paige." Paige said, then shook hands with John.
"I guess, I should go now." John said awkwardly. He patted Shawn's shoulder gently, leaned down and whispered, "Good luck." In his ear. Standing up, John exited the room.
An uneasy silence befell the two left in the room and Shawn began playing with his bed sheets anxiously.
"There's no reason to be nervous." Paige informed him easily, sitting down in Cory's recently vacated chair. She pulled out a notepad and a pencil, then flicked through the notepads pages until she got to a clear one. "There are a few questions that I need to ask you."
"Okay." Shawn struggled to say. He took a deep breath and steeled himself.
Paige nodded, and began. "I wish I could say that we'll start off with some easy questions, but I don't think I have any of those for you." Paige said sympathetically, glancing at Shawn who gave her a weak smile. "Okay, has Chet or Verna Hunter every physically harmed you?" She began, her face professionally expressionless.
"Uh-" Shawn's throat seemed to close up at the question. He coughed and tried to clear his throat.
"Take your time." Paige told him gently. After a moment of silence, she asked, "Would you like some water?" Shawn nodded and Paige stood up. She returned a few minuets later with a bottle of water from the vending machine. "I figured you'd prefer this to tap." She said.
Shawn nodded and mumbled a "Thanks." He gulped down a bit of the water and Paige repeated the question. "Yes." Shawn answered firmly.
"Okay, when has Verna or Chet hunter ever touched you sexually?" She questioned.
Shawn sputtered and nearly choked on his water. "What?" He exclaimed in disgust. "NO!" He answered, horrified.
"I had to ask." Paige told him mildly. "When did the physical abuse begin?" And so it went. She would ask him questions about the abuse and Shawn answered to the best of his abilities. It was awkward, and definitely uncomfortable. But Paige told him to take his time and Shawn finally managed to answer all of her questions. At about 3:00 she stood up to leave and Shawn called her name. Paige hesitated by the foot of his bed. "Yes?"
"You didn't say about about where I'm going to go." Shawn told her.
"Well, I thought that you might want to talk about that closer to your release date." She said. Then, seeing Shawn's uncomprehending look, she reiterated, "When you get out of the hospital."
"No, lets talk about it now." He said. Paige nodded, and walked back over to the chair and sat down.
"Okay, well the usual procedure is we try to find another relative that you can live with. Do you know of any?" Paige asked, pulling out her notepad and pencil again.
"No." Shawn said, thinking of his family in the trailer park and knowing that, due to their criminal history, he would never be placed with them.
"Okay, then the next option is a foster home." Paige continued.
"NO!" Shawn immediately dismissed the idea. "Didn't John talk to you?" Shawn then asked.
Paige hesitated, and then said, "Yes. He gave me the adoption papers, and I would be willing to put them through the system for you, but there's a problem. In order for John to legally adopt you, your parents would have to sign over custody of you to him."
"So, what's the problem." Shawn asked, rolling his eyes. His parents wouldn't want to keep him, not after everything they did.
"Well, your parents said they would sign on one condition. If they get to see you again." Paige continued, watching Shawn intently as his face went from annoyance to stark fear.
"I-I-" Shawn stuttered. He wanted to live with John, he really did, but he did NOT want to see his parents. Shawn didn't think he could see them. When the police took his parents away, Shawn figured that that was it; he would never have to lay eyes on them again and he would be safe. Now what am I going to do?