Chapter 12

Simon pulled his coat around him as he trudged along. It wasn't all that cold, but he was shivering. With every step he tried to fight away the memories and tears but it was getting harder. In his hand, he tightly clutched a bag that contained what he hoped would give him some answers. Why did the walk seem to be taking so long? Was he really being so slow? Or did he just have too many thoughts filling his mind.

As he reached the station, he took a deep breath. He felt nausea rising inside of him. In all the years he had been working at Fenchurch, not once had be been the other side of the deal. He didn't recall ever reporting a crime in his life, apart from the time someone had graffitied 'Shoebury Needs Odour Eaters' on the side of his first car.

As he followed his footsteps from the light before and entered the part of the building where he usually didn't roam unless he was looking for Robin, but this time Robin was the one person he hoped to avoid.

What had happened to him? He was a shadow of the man he used to be. He remembered what he was like before 1985 had changed him. OK, he might have been a bit of a geek, he loved his gadgets and should probably have joined iPhone Addicts Anonymous but he was a strong man. He was confrontational, not afraid to speak his mind. He stood up for himself, he had ambition and he knew how to get a job done well. He knew CID inside-out, he was self-assured and he had a life. Now everything was being taken away from him a little at a time.

It was time to fight back; to take back his pride and his strength. This was the first step.

"Can I help you, sir?" a gentleman at the desk looked at him, "Oh… DCI Shoebury? What…? Can we help you with something?"

Simon closed his eyes for just a moment, the room starting to spin again, and clenched the desk with one hand to steady himself.

"I would like to report," he began, his voice still trembling, "a drugging and…" he flinched, "a possible assault."

The man on the desk looked confused for a moment.

"Is this a CID case?" he asked.

Simon bit his lip.

"No," he whispered, "It's me."

Silence fell as every uniformed officer in the building seemed to freeze. Conversations ended, stares turned to the DCI standing at the desk and Simon felt 100% certain he heard an actual, bone fide pin drop somewhere around the far end of the room.

For a horrible moment Simon wondered if time had frozen. He remembered watching Out of this World as a teenager and always wished he'd had Evie's power to stop time. Now he'd apparently found the technique.

Luckily, before he tried clapping to bring them round a young woman came forward and looked at him with sympathy.

"It's Simon, isn't it?" she said quietly. She watched Simon nod. "I'm Kelly. We met at the Christmas doo last year." She could see that Simon didn't quite recognise her and tried to jog his memory. "When Robin brought one of the dogs straight from a raid and he ate my coat? The dog, I mean, not Robin."

Simon did recall the incident, as well as Robin's ill-advised re-enactment of it a few days later.

"Yeah, I remember," he said quietly.

"I'm just coming out the front," Kelly said quietly, "and then I'll take you through to somewhere quieter where we can go through what's happened."

Simon nodded slowly and tried to ignore two officers in the background who were nudging each other and whispering "…had a skinful last night."

"Thank you," he said quietly.

He waited for Kelly to emerge from her side of the desk and allowed himself to be led along a corridor and round a corner to an unfamiliar part of the station where suddenly everything looked very different. With some horror he realised he was being led to the rape suite and a moment of panic hit him as the realisation of how little he could remember started to really sink in.

"Just wait here while I make sure this room is empty," Kelly told him. She paused. "Would you rather have a male officer taking your statement?"

Simon shook his head.

"No," he whispered, "it's fine".

Kelly nodded.

"Do… do you want me to find Robin?"

No," Simon said quickly.

"OK, just wait here," Kelly repeated and disappeared into a room, returning a moment later. "It's free," she said.

Simon felt as though he was in a nightmare as she led him into the room which looked more like a lounge than anything. He barely registered what was happening as he sat down and turned down various offers of drinks, both hot and cold, from Kelly.

Eventually she asked him the question he'd been trying to prepare for.

"Can you talk me through what happened last night, Simon?"

Simon wasn't really sure.

"Who… who took me home last night?" he asked quietly.

"Pardon?"

"When I came here last night, looking for Robin," Simon's hands shook, "who took me home? You have to find out because he's the guy… he's the one who did this."

Deep down, Simon was still hoping that the flashes of Keats' face were just hallucinations and in reality it was some stranger who had picked him up.

"Are… are you sure?" Kelly asked incredulously.

"Yes," Simon nodded.

"It's just, you were…" she tried to find a tactful way to say it, "you weren't exactly a picture of sobriety… I was here, I saw you."

"I still know what happened," Simon said firmly.

"But couldn't you be mistaken about who… who did this to you?" Kelly asked, "couldn't someone else have… I don't know… met you later?"

"No, it was the same guy," Simon said through gritted teeth.

Kelly swallowed.

"He said he worked under your super," she said quietly, "I thought you'd know him. He's a DCI… I've seen him around a bit lately."

"There was no one else involved," Simon said firmly.

Kelly nodded.

"Alright," she said, "well, why don't you… tell me what happened and we'll work from there."

Simon took a deep breath. He could barely bring himself to place all the snatches of memory into any kind of order.

"Yesterday I had a couple of drinks," he began, "I admit that. And I'm not used to alcohol so it kind of affected me a bit too much. I was upset… a friend died."

Kelly looked at him sadly.

"Oh, Sir, I am sorry," she said quietly.

"Robin was late coming home… he left me a message about some call he'd been caught up with. I was dumb, I started getting upset and I needed company so I came to find him." He flinched as he skipped over the disjointed voice on the line the night before, Alex's cries for help still haunting him. "I remember stumbling in the station and someone saying they were going to take me home. He said he knew where Robin lived. I didn't even question it." He began to feel nausea rising in his body again. "He played bloody George Michael songs all the way back, just kept whining on and on about it not being like the old days and how much he missed Andrew Ridgeley! By the time we got back to Robin's I wanted to shove cucumbers in my ears to block out the damn music."

"What happened when you got home?"

Simon stared at his feet.

"I don't… remember… unlocking the door," he whispered, "I don't remember even having the key. It was like he walked up to the door and it… just… opened."

"Are you saying he had a key?" Kelly asked.

Simon shook his head.

"The door just opened," he repeated, "no key went anywhere near the lock. Maybe I forgot to lock it."

"Then what?"

"I… don't remember seeing his face," Simon whispered, "he kept it turned away from me at all times. First he made me drink some water, then sent me to bed. I thought he was going to leave but the next thing I knew he'd followed me in and drew the curtains so the light wouldn't bother me. I… wasn't feeling great by now."

Kelly nodded slowly.

"What happened next?"

Simon began to relive a few more of the moments and sensations that he'd experienced the night before.

"I still couldn't see his features properly," he stared at his hands, "the darkness and the alcohol saw to that. That's when he insisted on making me the coffee… the bitter, black coffee." He gave a bitter laugh, "except it didn't sober me up. In fact, I started to feel… woozier." He rubbed his temples, the memory prompting the same effect. "One moment he's asking me questions about Robin and how long we've known each other, the next he's telling me I need someone to hold my hand and that Robin would be ashamed to see me in such a state. The next thing I knew…" he trailed off and saw Kelly's expression turn to one of expectant sympathy, "I… started to lose consciousness and the last thing I remember was his face leaning over me, his evil, smug smile waiting for my eyes to close."

Kelly swallowed. Seeing a colleague, even one she barely knew, in such a state truly upset her.

"Do you remember anything else?" she asked quietly.

Simon shook his head.

"Not until I woke up this morning," he said, "the bastard was nowhere to be found." He began to clench his fists together so hard that his nails burrowed into his skin. "Neither were my clothes. Between sitting in bed, drinking a black coffee and waking up this morning my clothes had been… removed," he found it harder to speak now, "I don't know what happened between times but Robin… believes I was unfaithful."

"I'm… so sorry to ask you this, Sir," Kelly began, "but do you believe this man sexually assaulted you?"

Simon threw his hands in the air.

"I wish I knew," he sighed, "I have no idea what happened after everything went black. There was a," he choked, "a condom wrapper by the bed, but no sign of the…" he trailed off. He wasn't comfortable thinking any more deeply into this just yet so he pulled his bag onto his lap and opened it. "I've collected evidence," he whispered. He placed a plastic bag on the table. "Two tea spoons, covered with a powdery substance. I believe he used them to crush something and slip into my drink." He pulled a thermos out and sat beside it. "the other half of my second black coffee." Finally he reached into the bag one more time and pulled out another bag with the most telling evidence of all. "And these spectacles."

Kelly breathed deeply for a moment, wishing there was something she could say. Finally she just nodded slowly.

"Simon," she began quietly, "are you prepared to undergo an examination?"

Simon hesitated, then nodded slowly.

"If you can tell me one thing," he whispered.

"Of course."

"Who took me home last night?"

Kelly sighed quietly.

"We're not really used to seeing him around here very much," she said apologetically, "He… he works closer to you than to us. I think he has something to do with handling the psychological evaluations of staff."

"What's his name?" Simon insisted. He needed to hear it. He needed to know for sure.

"I can't remember exactly," Kelly tried to recall the information Simon needed, "DCI Keen? Keel?"

Simon swallowed.

"Keats?" he whispered.

The name brought clarity to Kelly's memory.

"Yes," she whispered, "that sounds familiar."

Simon drew in a very deep breath, then exhaled slowly. His mind was racing and nausea rose inside of him again.

"Can we get on with examination now please?" he asked quietly.

Kelly bit her lip and nodded slowly.

"We'll head to the examination room and wait for the doctor," she told him.

Simon collected up his evidence and got to his feet slowly, allowing the young officer to extend a friendly arm around his back and lead him out of the room.

As they progressed slowly down the corridor he kept his eyes low, not wanting to meet the stares of anyone who happened to walk past. All he caught were snatches of feet of others who were passing by, until a shocked voice called his name.

"Simon?"

Out of habit, Simon glanced up. He knew who the voice belonged to, and it wasn't someone he wanted to see right then. One glance brought Robin into view, dark circles around his eyes from the sleepless night he'd had and his mouth wide open in shock.

Simon turned his eyes away as fast as he could. He wasn't ready for this conversation yet. He turned his gaze back to the floor and left Robin to stare in horror as Kelly led him gently through the door marked "Examination Room 1A".