Authors Note: I own nothing. No ownership rights to Beverly Hills 90210.
Chapter Ten
I'm in a senior editors meeting in the newsroom in period four when he comes tearing in there. Gil and Andrea both practically jump when he throws open the door. I'd been expecting it. West Bev rumour mill, it works scarily fast.
Before I can even say she's fine he's attacking, demanding things that are no longer his to demand. "Brandon don't give me any attitude, I'm not in the mood, especially after hearing about it from some idiot jock that I'm now partnered with for chemistry. Where is she?"
"D, I know it's pointless to say but calm down. I'll tell you what you need to know but only when you gain a bit of control-"
He mockingly takes an exaggerated breath, "where is she?"
"She's in class. She wanted to carry on with her day as normal. She-"
"Which room?"
"Jones you going to stomp in there and demand she speak to you, demand that you get to see she is okay with your own eye's? Are you going to be the second asshole who tries to take her choices away from her today?" It's a low blow, but necessary.
"Man you know I wouldn't do that, I just need to make sure she's okay."
"She's okay. There you've made sure."
"Brandon, you know I need-"
"Please don't finish that. I don't care what you need, it's about what she needs. She wants to get through the day, have it be as normal as possible and that's what we will do. Everyone, including you will do that."
"So what you are going to be the gatekeeper to her? She knows I'd need to see her, and you know she needs m-"
"Actually, I asked and she thought that if you knew she was okay that it would be enough. She wants it to be enough, respect that."
"Brandon, just tell me where she is."
Gil stands up, "Dylan it sounds like Brenda has been pretty clear on what she needs. Look man, I get it that you are worried she's your friend-"
"My friend, she's my… we are family."
"Well as her blood family her twin, I'm saying respect what she wants. I know it's a foreign concept to you, but you aren't entitled to just take whatever you want from my sister, she's not a toy you get to pick up and put down when it suits you."
"Fuck you, I have never treated her like that."
"I think this whole year begs to differ." That lands hard. His rage seeps out as he knows that he's not in a position to contradict the claim. This year he's done nothing to prioritise my sister, to protect her, to give her the opportunity to make decisions knowing all the facts. He's treated her like she was just another girl who wanted him, he hasn't respected her, their history or the love that I once could see radiating out of him. He's treated her just like another one of the nameless girls he used to date. It's rich that now only when he is denied her does he realise everything he had taken for granted this year.
"Brandon, please."
Brenda's voice plays, he's your brother he's going through a lot. My conscious stirs, I soften. "Look, I'll let her know you want to see her, talk to her at least. I can't promise she'll call but I'll let her know."
He looks at the floor and runs his hand through his hair. When he meets my eyes again I worry, I know that look, it's the look I saw when I found him having slept the night in a cabana. It's the look of nothingness, the look that he had nothing left. "She's okay? He didn't…"
"She's got some bad bruising from where he grabbed her, dragged her a little into the bush but she fought back. Smashed his foot and elbowed him in the stomach."
"Was he going to…"
I move closer to him, "he didn't get even remotely close. She got away. Josh, Tony and Kyle were on their way to football training. They saw her move quickly out of the bushes, saw the guy coming out behind her partially bent over from her elbow in the stomach. Miller was out the car and had him on the floor in less than a minute."
"She can't walk-"
"Believe me Steve and I have already told her she is not allowed out of our sight, told her she isn't allowed to go anywhere alone. You can imagine how well she took that." I reach out for his shoulder and squeeze it gently, "brother I've got her. I'll make sure she's okay."
He bites his lip, "I'd really like to speak to her, I'd like to see her."
"I'll ask, but it's up to her." When he realises it's pointless that I won't change my mind he nod's and walks out of the room.
When I turn back to resume our meeting, Gil just looks at me. "He's dating Kelly Taylor right?"
"Yeah."
"I'm not sure who to feel sorry for more, him or Kelly, cause that's not a guy whose over his ex."
"Yeah, well I find it hard to have any sympathy for either of them when it comes to Bren, and their relationship."
He scrunches his brow and picks up on my bitterness, "he cheated on Brenda? Aren't Kelly and her best friends?"
"Were. When your best friend messes around with your boyfriend of two years behind your back over the summer, and then continues to have secret meetings with him, you can imagine you'd feel the friendship isn't that great."
"What? Seriously? But he clearly has feelings still for your sister why the hell would he risk that?"
"Your guess is as good as mine. I don't understand how anything could have happened, it's like over the summer he embodied a completely different person, and he has then spent the last six months either being that guy or trying to cover that guy's crimes up."
It's true, it didn't make sense I knew how he felt about my sister I knew how obsessive they got over each other, like nothing else mattered. It's why I got jealous, when they were together she could even forget about me and he trusted her more than anyone else. I'm not sure how that changes, and yet doesn't. I wasn't blind living with him for those days after Jack, I knew he didn't speak to his girlfriend then, that he found comfort only in Brenda's actions. A guy with deep feelings for someone else should at least want to talk to them, I've had many crushes and I've never been so indifferent to a girl I liked.
When Brandon told me at morning break I immediately went to find her, he came as well. She swore she was fine that she wasn't harmed, I called bullshit when I felt her flinch when I hugged her. Stubbornly she tried to deny it but when Brandon said he saw her reaction to the hug as well she mentioned there may be a little bruising. We folded our arms and waited till she showed it- a little my ass. They were angry bruises, the guy grabbed her with an iron grip.
After apologising for leaving her alone, for her having to make her way alone to school, and declaring that it would never happen again she called us idiots. Lovely kind idiots that were no way at fault. She said the guy whose sitting at the police station and any jerk who perpetuates the belief that women are play things meant for the taking, they are at fault, not us.
Before we leave Brandon commented on the muffin that hadn't been touched that was now in the trash. He asked if she had eaten anything, which she said once her stomach settles she would.
I was on school arrest, unable to leave the campus, all senior privileges denied so I couldn't go myself. When I called Mum and explained what happened she of course was worried and angry, Bren I'm sure would be seeing her at the Walsh's tonight. She was on set doing a guest role today so couldn't do it herself but she said she would arrange for Abigail to collect the Thai soup I knew Bren was able to stomach. When my mum's assistant approached me with the paper bag at the start of lunch I quickly took it and made my way to the student centre. When I saw him hovering out the front, I nodded and just walked on by.
Last time I just opened the door and walked in she got mad, alot of comments were made about Samantha having raised me better than that, about checking my entitlement. Knock, I should knock.
"Come in." Pushing the door open I see her sitting in the small meeting room that she has commandeered most day's, the girl across from her is a senior who I occasionally see after school in detention. "Steve I'm fine you don't need to keep checking on me, though it is very sweet."
"I know you are fine, and if you aren't you'll let us know." It was an affirmation as much as a reminder. "I got you the soup you like. Couldn't imagine cafeteria food would be wanted today."
She stands and walks around the table taking the bag and looking inside before putting it on the table, "this is really nice but Mrs T will kill you. You aren't allowed off campus."
"As if she-" her eyebrow starting to rise up was the indication that she wasn't going to buy me pretending I had that woman in my pocket; me graduating was still uncertain. "Relax, I wouldn't risk the chance of our beach house in Malibu and the parties. Could you imagine the beach babes being taken away and replaced with summer school? Let alone not getting to wear the hat and gown with my twins. Abigail got it for you, which means I'm sure it's going to be a Sanders Walsh House dinner night now my mother knows; she mentioned calling Cindy."
She puts her forehead on my chest pretending to hide from the world and moans in to it, "the questions, the mothering, can't we just go to a movie instead?"
"Sorry Gizmo, after today I'm not leaving the mums with nothing to mother they could turn their sights on me."
She chuckles into my chest, then lifts her head. "Brandon needs to do something, to take the heat off us."
"Brando's back in Boy Scout mode, we could see if your hot friend Val could come out and cause some trouble."
"Steve for the last time you can't tell someone is hot from hearing their voice over a phone."
"Yeah you can, there is a whole industry making money based on it."
"Ewwww, and on that note this conversation is done as I need to get back to it."
"Before you do, you have a stalker-"
"I know, Bec told me as she came in. You can let him know I'm here for the next period as well. I'm not leaving the room as I've got students through lunch and into my study, so he shouldn't waste his time if he's hoping to chat."
"Yeah I'm using the word chat with McKay, especially as he's such a conversationalist between his moody stares."
"Be nice, he's going through a lot."
"And not giving him a second of your time is being nice?"
"No, it's setting a boundary." She turns to the table, then back to me. "Anyway Steve, Bec's nearly finished creating her action plan for her major Art project and we'd like this to be time-lined out before lunch ends. You better go, thanks again for the soup."
I give her a wink before leaving.
When I'm back in the hallway I approach the guy who's looking like a statue. "McKay she's been in class all day, her study is period five, she'll work right through lunch and then into period five. You won't catch even a glimpse of her waiting here. She's got back to back students."
"How come you-" my look of is he seriously going to ask that, stops him. McKay has always walked around like he owns everything, that he can have anything, that his word is law. Right now though his face holds none of that arrogance that he pretends he doesn't have. He looks messed up.
"I dropped her off some soup she likes, she hasn't eaten all day her stomach well-"
"Yeah of course. She's doing okay considering?"
"The hovering of Brando and I, the football team, teachers, Mrs T. I think we are driving her crazy but she's okay. I don't think she has wanted to think about it yet. Look McKay, if she's going to talk to you it's not going to be in the hallway of the school where you lot are the number one gossip story. If you haven't noticed Gizmo is trying to lay low stay off the rumour mill."
"Gizmo. You have a nickname for her now?" He doesn't even hide his dislike; and she jokes I'm entitled.
"We watched Gremlins 1 and 2 together, she got so scared and yelled at me afterwards cause I kept promising it wasn't frightening or that the last scene was the worst scene- it never was. Anyway I've called her gizmo ever since. It suits her, she looks all sweet and cuddly she is all sweet but give the right conditions and she can be one scary badass. Lucky for us she's like that, otherwise today would have ended very different." He didn't laugh once, or crack a smile during my story, he just looked even more out of place. Did he think her world would stop because he was out of it? She may have wanted it too, but none of us would allow that, including my mother.
Without a word he begins to walk away, getting maybe three steps before turning slightly back. "Peanut butter and jelly in a bowl, mix it together. Go light on the jelly."
"Huh?"
"Even when she's feeling her worse she can usually finish the bowl. Just no bread, if her stomachs in knots and she has one mouth full of carbs she feels full. She prefers the smooth peanut butter."
Shit. Fucking McKay. This pain I got, well I kinda got. Kelly clearly didn't love me. He though he loved Bren and he knew that she loved him back. He's a few feet away when I boom out, "McKay we won't let anything happen to her again, it shouldn't have happened in the first place. She's important to all of us we'll keep her safe."
"Yeah I can see that, I can see that you and B have her. It's just it still feels where I should be-"
"That's probably why she isn't letting you near her, I think she feels that to. Dude, it's got to end somewhere, it's not like you can have Kelly and keep running when Bren needs you, or her running when you need her."
I thought I was being understanding but something in what I just said instantly makes him flip. He's back on the offensive and takes a step closer, he's acting like I've picked back up an argument I wasn't aware we were having.
"Why not? Everyone keeps saying that it can't be like that but why not?"
"Cause I know Kel she'd blame Brenda, she'd get jealous and take it out on her. Cause Bren wouldn't move on, not properly I know that for sure; for two years Kelly didn't want me but has made sure I was given enough scraps to make me her lapdog. Because at the end of the day you guy's loved each other, this whole school saw it, this whole school felt it, you used to look at her as if she was magical to you. Do you really want to take that and make it into something twisted because you want everything?"
"She's still magic, she'll always be magic."
"Yeah, but that's for someone else to discover now, you wanted-"
"Don't, don't tell me what I wanted. I didn't want this I didn't want to be cut off from her."
"If you didn't want that then you would have been honest back at the start, ended it when she gave you the out on the beach." Now he's murderous. Yeah Dude, I know all your shady shit- I know everything.
"I wasn't ready."
"McKay you don't seem ready now, and you've had eight months to get ready." It's my turn to step closer; at least it's still lunch the halls are still relatively quiet. "I'm starting to think if Jack hadn't been released that you would have never decided, ever told her the truth. It's like you were waiting for one of them to give up, so you-" that's it. The deer in headlights look tells me that I'm right.
"That's it isn't? You were waiting for one of them to choose that you weren't worth it. You wanted to see which one had the longevity to stay, not leave like everyone else. Bren didn't choose though…" no she just- he's even more of a asshole than I thought. "She did, she listened to her Dad and didn't go to the party. That's why you were so angry at her, acting like the hard done by one giving no respect to her and your history in that park; you actually think she did this. You think she's to blame as much as you. Her not showing up what, proved that she'd abandon you too?"
One time she doesn't jump to his demands and she's passed over for it. He doesn't want a girlfriend he wants a dog, something he can own. Fuck, I know he's going through a lot, but someone needs to call him on this shit.
"She didn't though, after even hearing the worst thing you could do to her she didn't abandon you, didn't let anyone abandon you. She's taken care of you after Jack. Even after everything, she gave you more support and I bet more comfort than anyone else, even without being there. And now you realise that you jumped to conclusions, took her not pissing off Jim again as evidence of something that wasn't true. Two weeks later she proved that you were wrong, but even worse she's now making you lay in the bed you chose. She's respecting your decision and you hate it… you hate that your insecurity pushed away the one person in your life who actually meant something, who loved you at your worst, who would have stayed through all of it."
"Steve don't try and analyse me, you don't get it. Jim was always in the way, I was never going to be good enough. She would always try and pacify us both, it got to be too much it should be easier. I shouldn't need to tell her how important, how I needed her to support me with my dad, she knows everything and if I was important she would have been there. Kelly understood she came." Kelly understood nothing, she like me can move as we please our mother's aren't the curfew type. Jackie from well, years of substance issues and mine from years of being on sets from dawn till midnight, it has meant curfews now are redundant.
"McKay get out of my sight. I promised her when I found her that day, when my Mum and I cleaned her up after you destroyed her that I wouldn't hit you. Right now I'm not sure I can keep that promise if I have to keep looking at you and realise this was all some sick endurance game you were playing with the two of them. You decided not based on who you loved, but who had the easiest parents. We graduate in a few months, we'll be off in college you'd have had an all access pass then but you're that selfish that you want it all now. She gave you everything. The Walsh's may have got frustrated with the intensity of your relationship but when push came to shove they always welcomed you into their home, they thought, they think of you as family, but none of that was good enough… shit and people think I'm spoilt. Get out of this hallway you don't care about her you're just here for your ego."