Aaand now we have Prussia.
I still don't own Hetalia.
1. The word "awesome" is not to be used more than five times in one sentence.
2. Neither is the phrase "claiming your vital regions".
3. And the phrase "five meters".
4. In fact, he is not allowed to say Number 3. Ever.
5. Prussia is hereby forbidden to talk to Feliciano, because Germany does NOT need to hear about the "wonderful ideas" Prussia gave him.
6. Prussia cannot try to grope Hungary, doing so will result in a near-fatal concussion.
7. It is considered wrong and immoral to make pornography with Austria, especially when said nation is too drunk to see straight with his glasses on.
8. Selling said porn to Hungary is considered violation of Austria's privacy, and is not appreciated.
. In other words, DON'T DO IT.
10. If explaining an idea requires using the word "awesome" more than ten times, Prussia is forbidden to talk about it.
11. ESPECIALLY if it involves (1) alcohol, (2) the Bad Touch Trio, (3) his brother or (4) a camera.
12. If it involves all four, then he is forbidden to THINK about it.
13. If Japan gives him a camera, he is to not touch, look at, or think about it. He is to leave it alone, and give it to somebody else at the first opportunity.
14. That "somebody else" CANNOT be Hungary.
15. Or France.
16. Threatening Germany's stash of porn, while effective, is likely to get him killed, especially if he does it in public.
17. As is "accidentally" switching it with another nation's slideshow plans for world peace.
18. He is not allowed to dress Germany's dogs up in pink lingerie …
19. … and send them running off to fetch him …
20. … when they are in heat and he has sprayed Germany with something that makes him smell like a dog.
21. Because NOBODY needs that kind of image.
22. Not even Hungary, so videotaping it and giving the video to her is not allowed.
23. Trying to "take a siesta" with Feliciano is forbidden.
24. Because Germany is the one person who is allowed to do that.
25. And even if Italy says it is fine, he STILL can't do it.
26. Prussia cannot go within ten feet of a broom closet, bathroom, or any small enclosed area when he is near another person.
27. Because he doesn't know the meaning of "there is a time and a place for everything".
28. "Because I'm so awesome" is NOT a good reason or explanation for anything.
29. Ergo, he will not use it when explaining why he wants to get England drunk and lock him in a room with America.
30. … He isn't allowed to do that, either.
31. Saying how "Russia is just Prussia without a 'P'," is not appreciated, especially when he adds a "Nis" at the end.
32. Russia WILL rape him for that.
33. If Prussia breaks any of the thirty two rules above, he will be shot repeatedly by his brother.