Chapter 8
Black and White
Later that night, Legolas wondered away from camp in search of Ettelwen.
Through the trees he saw a small stream. When he cleared the trees and stood on the edge of the stream, he looked up and down the bank. A little downstream was a lone figure sitting on the edge of the water.
As Legolas walked closer to the figure, he realized it was Ettelwen. Sitting by herself, her knees drawn to her chest, staring into the water, Legolas thought she looked rather vulnerable. Slowly and silently, Legolas walked towards her.
When he was about a yard away, she spoke.
"Why, Legolas?" she asked quietly, "Why-"
"-did I ask you to fight?" Legolas finished for her. "For our young friends' benefit as well as your own."
"What are you talking about?" she said turning her head towards Legolas, as he sat down next to her.
"I said in the beginning that I trust you, did I not?"
"How does that-?"
"I know you think no one trusts you, but I wanted to show you that fact is not true."
"Why do trust me? I could have you. If Harry hadn't yelled…"
"You would have stopped. I was trying to show you, you can trust yourself…A while ago, I realized you believe no one trusts you, but there was something else. You have no trust in yourself."
"Even if others do trust me, I have done nothing to deserve that trust. You say I have no trust myself; I do not deny it, but I also have good reason. You know who I was."
"Maybe so, but I know who you are now. You have changed, why do you refuse to see that?"
"What if I have? It makes little difference. There is only a thin barrier between who I have become and who I was."
"You mustn't think like that."
"Why not? It is true," she returned, turning back to the black water.
Legolas opened his mouth to talk but Ettelwen spoke first.
"You don't know, Legolas. You have no idea of the seductive nature of evil. Your elven nature protects you from feeling it. I'm not lying to you. I use to show people the 'benefits' of evil: the freedom, the lack of the conflicts of morality, and the lust for power. All of which is extremely appealing to humans, they were easy prey."
As she spoke a strange shadow replaced the sorrow, guilt, and fear that clouded her eyes. And a note of amusement quivered in her voice.
Worry crossed Legolas' face as he gently placed his hand on her shoulder.
"Ettelwen…" at his touch her eyes slowly closed and opened. When her eyes opened the shadow had gone and in its place was the usual swirl of emotions. She sighed and looked deeper into the water, as though longing to be lost in it. "Ettelwen, you must silence your ill thoughts. You are no longer evil. You have changed. You have turn away from darkness."
"Maybe so, but the darkness still exists. It leaves part of itself, a mere shadow of its existence, but a part nonetheless. It will never truly fade."
Ettelwen and Legolas sat in silence. Legolas stared at her turned face, as he contemplated her words.
The moment Legolas opened his mouth to speak Ettelwen's silver wolf broke thought the trees. The magnificent wolf trotted up to Ettelwen and nudged her shoulder.
Ettelwen turned and scratched behind the wolf's ear. She stood and Legolas did the same.
"I am going to ride through the mountains. I will return in two days," she stated as she jumped lightly onto the wolf's back.
Legolas began to protest, as she turned to leave. She stopped and spoke the moment before the words left his lips.
"Think of it this way, Legolas. If you spill black ink on the purest white parchment, can the parchment ever be as it was. The stain cannot be removed. For me, I began with black parchment and am trying to turn it white."
With that she rode away. Legolas watched her vanish into the growing light.