And now we have Russia!

Russia: Become one, da?

Me: Quit creeping on my readers.

Russia: Kolkolkolkolkolko -

Me: BELARUS! RUSSIA WANTS TO BECOME ONE WITH YOU!

Russia: REVIEW PLEASE! OR SHE'LL LET BELARUS IN!

Me: Ahahaha ...

And Switzerland is up next!

1. "Become one with me, da?" is not an appropriate greeting.

2. "Okay! RAPE THEN!" is not the right response when somebody says "No," to the first one.

3. It is disturbing to chant "Kolkolkol" incessantly during meetings.

4. It is disturbing to carry around a water faucet pipe all the time as well.

5. Threatening your subordinates is not nice, polite, or conducive to a cheerful atmosphere.

6. Developing a bomb that kills off all forms of life except sunflowers is wrong, and not a good idea.

7. It is not okay to jump out of a plane with no parachute on.

8. Even when there is snow underneath.

9. Because if you fall from a great height, the snow will not help.

10. DUH. Seriously, shouldn't he know this?

11. Don't goad America into fighting. He's supposed to be more mature than he is because he's older.

12. No more jokes about "Russia is the biggest country in the world."

13. Russia is not allowed to make Lithuania become one with him again.

14. It was bad enough the first time.

15. "Becoming one with Russia," is not an acceptable peace strategy.

16. Russia is not allowed to replace all water with vodka.

17. … or sell the results of what happens to Hungary.

18. He and Lithuania will not participate in Hungary's latest BDSM fantasy.

19. Because that is wrong on so many levels.

20. He is not allowed to become one with Canada.

21. He and France are never allowed to have children.

22. They would be huge whores, and give STDs to the whole world.

23. He is not allowed to piss off Poland by saying that Lithuania is "his ho".

24. Or "his bitch".

25. Poland WILL invoke the Poland Rule on him.

26. Vodka is not "The Ultimate Fuel" and he should not claim that it is.

27. He cannot "claim" countries if their flag colors match his.

28. If Russia breaks any of these rules, America will … uh. Switzerland will … crap. BELARUS will get locked in a room with him for an extended period of time.