Authors Note: I own nothing. No ownership rights to Beverly Hills 90210.

Chapter Nineteen

Silver had been shocked when he opened the door, it was my first indication that she hadn't arrived yet. As I walked into Mel's new bachelor pad I saw Donna chatting to the other man who had smashed up his life because of his own selfishness. Unlike him though I was committed to learning from this mistake. If I was lucky enough to get the second chance at my forever with her, I was going to be damn sure I was equipped to hold tight to it forever. Mel hadn't learned that; two families he had messed up, first with David's mum and now with Jackie, and looking at him smile and laughing with Donna he appeared to be a man who had no remorse or guilt. I never wanted to be that man, my father most of his life had been that man.

When Mel offered me champagne, I declined with little fanfare; my AA didn't need to be the topic of discussion. I was having a soda while I chatted to Donna when the bell sounded. I naturally straighten and move my body to lean even further away from the blonde; when I catch myself I know it's silly, but I want the first time she's seen me since Kelly was declaring I wanted her only for her looks and sex to think I was changing.

Kelly and Kyle were the first to walk in, I nodded to both. Kelly and I were on talking terms, but we were back to only the occasional conversation; how we had been throughout most of our school life, we were no longer pretending that we shared this great friendship that had endured since childhood, we were no longer creating illusions to justify our sins, and we were definitely no longer participating in the harmless flirting which had been a part of our occasional interactions since I discovered girls at eleven. The flirting I had engaged in with every female that crossed my path; I knew that had to be the first thing to stop. Bren wouldn't ever trust me if I maintained that, I knew that it had been harmless, she had known it was harmless, until it wasn't. It was another flaw added to the list, grounded in watching my Dad's interactions with girlfriends, secretaries, house cleaners, waitresses, my teachers – hell he even laid it on Christine, mum and Kelly the week before he died. It was his way with females, I was refusing to let it still be mine.

Following behind her was Tony Miller and a junior I had never met. When the door closed after them I began to swirl my glass, watching the melting ice crash together in the dark brown fizzy liquid. Donna had said they were sharing the limo with Kelly and Kyle, Tony must also be in that one as well. It meant there was only one more car to arrive and as the time ticked on I became more nervous, I wasn't sure if I was ready to see her and Josh. Miller and Kyle were the stark reminder that her circle had gotten bigger, that I was barely on the peripheral now, I was barely holding on.

Air, I needed air.

When the doorbell rang again I had just escaped onto the balcony, I turned around from watching the black liquid of the bay move up and down to look through the window. Brandon walked in first he was in high spirits with a big smile, a girl I had only ever seen in pictures that graced the walls of the Walsh house walked in with Andrea. I smiled at my new editor, she looked beautiful and was evidently enjoying Val's company as they laughed away. It made me happy that I had declined Iris's suggestion to go out for an early dinner, I'd have hated for our Yale bound friend to have missed this night because I missed her call.

Steve was next, with his new game show girlfriend Celeste. She appeared to be smiling proudly, indulgently at his boisterous the party can get started now I'm here entrance. He had evidently found someone who liked that side of him, here's hoping he can do better than me at holding on to a person who can accept every side of you; even your most annoying side.

Josh, I saw first. He walked through the door immediately behind Celeste, he looked like he owned the world. It didn't take a genius to understand why as I followed his hand encasing the one of the goddess behind him. In that moment I was relieved I was outside and away from everyone, I was relieved that I had a balcony supporting me as my knees got weak. She was stunning, in a room full of people she was the only one you could see.

My anxiety increased, this this whole thing was risky; we were hanging on by- well about as thin as one of those straps keeping that silk dress in place. A silk as far as I could tell did not appear to have anything underneath. Yeah this was fucking karma three fold.

Focus on Andrea, my mind screamed as I walked into the room. I kept my smile light and looked at my date who was chatting now with a glass of champagne in her hand to Brandon and Val. My brother entertaining them with his indecision on if he likes the fizzy alcoholic drink of not; no one can pull off charming boy next door flirting like Brandon, and from their smiles at least one of them was eating it up.

"Andrea you look beautiful. Jordan definitely is going to be kicking himself when he sees what the flu cost him; a night with you on his arm." I say it as I lean down and kiss her cheek. She blushes slightly.

"Thank you Dylan, and thank you for coming to my rescue."

"I think I should be thanking you, I'm glad to see everyone in their finery." I say it with a slight gesture to the room though I avoid the corner she is in. I'm too afraid to look at her at this close of range, see if he is still holding her hand or if it's moved to rest upon her back. In my mind I already imagine he is subtly rubbing it up and down to feel for a bra strap or a panty line under the silk; it's what I would do if she was my date. Though if we still had been together I would have already asked the question as I leaned in to kiss her hello, knowing that she would have sassed me back with either a wouldn't you like to know, or a you'll just have to wait and see. Yep, karma three fold.

I look at my brother, "Jones you wear it well."

As we do our customary handshake he returns the compliment, "so do you brotha."

Before Andrea or Brandon can introduce me I turn to Brenda's sister, she was the only woman that my girl had given the title too. Unlike her twin who had collected two brother's in Steve and me, Bren had best friends but only one sister. "Valerie Malone, it's a pleasure to finally meet you. I have heard a lot of stories about you." I hold out my hand to shake hers, she lifts her champagne glass to her lips demonstrating she was not willing to move her glass so we could shake hands. I drop mine.

When her glass moves away from her lips, she gives me a look that would make most men scared. "I've heard lots of stories about you too. Though it is nice to put a face to the name, you should always be aware of what form Satan is walking the earth in."

"Val." It was a low moan on her name, one that he sounded familiar making, like she often needed to be asked to back down. From everything I knew of her, that never worked.

"I deserve that. If it's any comfort please know I know how much I've lost, how much I've wrecked my and her life."

She laughs, "you wrecked yours no one else's, because from what I can see Bren's doing perfectly fine without you. Josh is smitten." She looks over to the couple, I refuse to look. "I do hope though that he can keep his hands to himself tonight, he seems very taken with that dress. You can't blame him Bren looks incredible, well she looks incredible in anything or really nothing at all, though it's not like Josh doesn't know that." I clench my jaw, Brandon says her name again.

"What Brandon? Our sister is hot, and I'm sure Josh is very aware of that having seen her so much in a bikini lately- he's teaching her to surf. I hear her last instructor was kinda of a dud, didn't know how to bring her natural talent out in her or maybe it's just Josh's teaching method. I hear he is a very hands on instructor, very focused on helping her work on her core and hip alignment… well I assume that's why he touches them so much."

I could practically hear my tooth crack.

Josh had gone to get us drinks while I was chatting to Steve, Celeste, Tony and his date Kimberley. It was only when his back was turned did I feel brave enough to look over at Dylan.

This was a fucking terrible idea. Steve picking up on my uneasiness gives me curious eye's that Tony also see's, they both raise their eyebrows in question- I spend way too much time around the lot of them, I know neither will let it drop. As I see Josh pick up the glasses from Mel I know I have limited time, if I am going to intervene.

No drama, that was our deal. I just fucking forgot to make the same deal with my sister.

"Can one of you please go interrupt that over there, preferably before he breaks the glass?"

Tony see's the tight grip that Dylan has on his highball glass and nods, "Kimberley I haven't introduced you to Andrea's date tonight, Dylan. Why don't we go do that now?"

As they move away Steve gives me a smirk, "I'm surprised he didn't throw the glass when he saw you in that dress. I was expecting him to go all caveman like and throw you over his shoulder, didn't I say that Babe?"

Celeste, understanding most of the situation gives me a sympathetic look, "Steve be nice."

"Yeah, be nice Steve; you are enjoying all of this too much."

"What? What did I do? You can't still be grumpy about Kyle's house, I was just being nice to my new friend. It would be rude not to laugh at her jokes."

"Steve-" in was pointless to try and say again how Val's passive aggressive greeting to Kelly and subsequent flattering of her dress was not what I needed tonight. Celeste had already explained what a bathroom tissue doll cover was, and how Val reflecting that the short white A line dress was reminiscent of a doll her grandmother once owned, specifically a doll that would cover the toilet paper was actually saying she looked like shit. "Please let's try and make this a good night for everyone, Val is avoiding me in fear I will get her to promise to back down, so until I can corner my sister I need everyone not to egg her on."

My pleading eyes must work as he softens, "okay Gizmo I'll do my best to restrain myself, though you have to admit some of what she says is absolute gold?"

Just then Josh walks back with our champagne, having been stopped by Kyle about something. "What's absolute gold?"

"Nothing." "Val." I glare at Steve.

Josh just chuckle's, and passes the champagnes to the four of us. "She is entertaining, you think she's all sweet and then out of no where she socks you with a wicked one liner. My mother would love her, it's a very country diva thing to do."

"Please don't encourage her." He takes in my serious tone.

"Darlin, I'm not sure why you are worried about those two. They've made their bed, and from what I can tell got away with their reputations intact courtesy of you, maybe it's time they get a little shit about it."

I smile a smile that is in no way anything but pacifying, I don't want to discuss how I have chosen to handle what happened to me. Josh had figured it all out in the nearly three weeks of us dating. He had been at our place for dinner when Mum asked about prom, wanting to know who was in our limo. He had seen the disappointed eyes I got when Mum and Dad found out Kyle and Kelly wouldn't be in ours; Kyle had organised that himself he knew he was welcome in ours but he chose not to, my parents assumed it was me. Josh had seen it all, how Dylan and Iris were casually referenced at different times when he was over- never on purpose just as they were apart of our lives. He had begun to question why I was protecting them all, especially when he had heard from Kyle that Kelly had been upset that I refused to even entertain a friendship renewal; not that he blamed me, but he didn't understand if it was over with the both of them for me, why I was protecting them. I knew what he was really asking was why I was still protecting Dylan.

I touch his arm, trying to not create a deeper or longer conversation than I was prepared to have. "It's our prom, I'd like it drama free okay. I just want a good night with you all before I find better friends in college." Steve laughs loudly and Josh puffs out a chuckle. It had become a running gag with all of us, whenever the guy's teasing had turned its direction on me I had simply begun pushing it off with one liner's like that.

Josh reaches out and boldly wraps his arm around me drawing me in, we weren't affectionate in public even around the guy's. Tonight though Josh had decided on his own accord that it was time to be; I didn't know if that decision was made pre Dylan McKay known attendance or post. When I'm close to his chest, he smiles down at me. "That better not include me, especially as I won't be at college next year to change your mind."

"I have a feeling with you aiming to compete in the full procircuit you won't have too much time to worry about who my friends are."

"No, no worry at all, option three right. Though I'll still be very interested in meeting my girls friends when I'm regularly in town, can I request though you cut Steve first?" It was my turn to laugh as Steve too loudly yells.

"Hey, Gizmo and me are lifers-"

"In most states you get less for murder."

"Brenda, now whose not being nice. Tell the wise ass that we are a package deal?"

I look at Josh straight faced, "Steve and I are a package deal. He's the free useless gift with purchase."

Steve gawps at me, but I quickly leave Josh's arms under the pretence of making nice with my honorary brother. "That's punishment for laughing earlier, and for being mean about my dress."

"I wasn't mean about it, I just want my sister to cover the hell up."

"I'm completely covered, it's a long dress."

"You, you know what I mean, it's-"

"Samantha thought I looked lovely."

"Yeah, well Mum doesn't know how teenage guy's think. She wouldn't be saying that if she knew the death stares Brandon and I will be casting tonight. Josh here has already been on the receiving end of one."

"Oh is that what that was Sanders, I thought you were flirting with me because I look hot in a tux."

Thankfully before the carry on continues it is announced it is time to go. Mel insists on a picture of all of us on the stairs, and Steve sneakily grabs the two open champagne bottles for the limo. I decline any as one glass was enough for me, Val has another, along with Josh, Celeste and Steve. The other bottle was past to David, so we aren't sure who had another on the way there in his limo.

We pull up just after Dylan's Porsche, and when I climb out it is the first time are eyes meet. I give him a tentative smile and he mouth's to me that I look stunning. When we walk in as a group, every staff member immediately greets my ex. "Welcome back Mr McKay." "It is good to see you Mr McKay."

Only one stops and calls him by his first name, "Dylan welcome back."

Dylan immediately walks up and gives the man a one arm hug, "Henry it is good to see you." I smile, the manager of the Bel Age had been a friend, a parent at times, a disciplinarian, but most of all he had been the most consistent adult in Dylan's life. Dylan having lived here for many years, had grown attached to him. Last year and even up until we broke up I knew he would regularly visit the hotel for a coffee or a breakfast with the older man. Occasionally, I'd come along.

"I'm sorry about Jack, I would liked to have had one more drink with him. He was a character."

"He was many things, but yeah he definitely was that. Did you enjoy your vacation? They told me you were in Switzerland right?"

"Yeah at a conference first, then Sandra and I tagged a few weeks on go visit the family in France. I'm sorry we were away for your fathers stay." It is then he spots me, "Brenda dear I didn't see you there." The master of discretion, he makes no indication that me not standing next to Dylan was unexpected. I move over to the always warm, welcoming, and flirty older Frenchman.

I kiss both his cheeks, "Henry it is lovely to see you."

He immediately launches into French as per our last two meetings; I had complained my French was wasting away now I was home, he decided that that wouldn't do. "Tu es devenue encore plus belle depuis la dernière fois que je t'ai vue."

My cheeks rise, "Merci, mais je suis sûr qu'avec le bal de promo, il n'y a pas eu de pénurie de jolies filles."

He tsss, "Aucune n'est aussi belle que toi. Ah redevenir jeune. Je t'aurais poursuivi sans relâche." I giggle.

Dylan steps in then, "D'accord, c'est assez mon vieux, tu es presque assez vieux pour être son grand-père."

He gives Dylan a dismissive look and lifts my hand and lays a kiss for good measure on the back of it; he love's to annoy the younger man, he would always whisper to me that it was good for his ego. "He never likes it when we flirt. He knows, that were I younger you would have run away with me."

"But of course." I giggle.

Dylan steps in again rolling his eyes at our carry on, "unfortunately, old man we should go as the prom has already started."

"Yes, of course. The dinner service I believe will be starting in forty minutes. Now if either of you two need anything tonight just call reception. I also expect to see you both soon for breakfast." He winks at me, "or just you Brenda."

Dylan places his arm around the older man moving him away from me and the group, as he starts in on his customary lecture about calling Sandra and telling on him.

When I'm back at Josh's side it's clear to see everyone had stopped and observed our interaction with the hotel manager. He gives me a confused look, Brandon though is the one to quietly answer.

"Henry runs the hotel. Dylan lived in the hotel for many years. Jack kept a suite here since he was a kid, it's where Dylan mainly lived."

Tony's eyes go bigger, "I thought that was urban legend. You know along with the girl he knocked up in France."

Val's, "I wouldn't put it past Satan to have spawn all over the place", is not whispered as low as the others. Hearing the remark, Dylan's shoulders stiffen as he returns to Andrea's side.

Trying to break the tension, I encourage everyone to go inside while I ask my sister if she wouldn't mind coming with me to powder my nose. She goes to decline, until she sees my face. Brandon looks almost giddy when she huffs, "fine." Since we were kids I was the only one who had any ability to control Val, and even then it was only when she knew I was no longer playing.

Translation

Tu es devenue encore plus belle depuis la dernière fois que je t'ai vue. = You have grown even more beautiful since the last time I saw you.

Merci, mais je suis sûr qu'avec le bal de promo, il n'y a pas eu de pénurie de jolies filles. = Thank you, but I'm sure with the prom there has been no shortage of beautiful girls walking past.

Aucune n'est aussi belle que toi. Ah redevenir jeune. Je t'aurais poursuivi sans relâche. = None so beautiful as you. Ah to be young again. I would have pursued you relentlessly.

D'accord, c'est assez mon vieux, tu es presque assez vieux pour être son grand-père. = Okay, that's enough old man you are nearly old enough to be her grandfather.