They didn't interact so much after their last kiss. They didn't interact at all, Addison corrected herself. Sadly, she might have to admit. How stupid she was! She called him 'Honey'. Addison sighed and shook her head trying to brush away those thoughts. She passed those last two weeks keeping an eye on Alex. She wanted to know how he really was now, so she observed him every time she could do it. Just like now in the cafeteria.

In these days Addison saw him a lot with Stevens, but she couldn't really tell if Alex was happy with her. That was an hard time for him for sure, he was studying hard for the exam that he needs to retake. Addison saw him distract, angry, nervous and she was fighting with herself to not go to him because this time she knew that probably she wasn't able to resist him. Because when he was so down, Addison could see her Alex, the one that she loved, the one she always dreamed a family with. Even if she was 18 years old when she started to think about them like a family…

Addison sighed again, tooking a sip from her coffee. Alex was joking with Izzie and Addison buried her face in her charts not really understanding why she was so jealous about him and Derek at the same time. She was cheating on Derek in this moment? Addison shifted uncomfortable on her seat when Derek sit down near her.

"You're a stalker, do you realize that, right?"

"I'm not..a stalker.." Addison protested with a shocked look on her face. "I'm just curious, you know…" she mumbled against her coffee.

"Did you two actually talk? Like talk talk…" Derek raised his eyebrows and looked at Addison first and at Alex then.

"Not really.." she shrugged. "I mean..he said everything that day. There's nothing more to talk about."

"Yeah…sure…" Derek didn't sound so convinced.

"Derek, it's fine. Okay, he's a ghost from the past but now it's like we're completely two strangers. We don't know each other anymore. Things are changed now. We got married…"

"We almost got divorced…"

"Yeah." Addison sighed and looked down at her hands.

"You two have history together, I don't believe you when you say that now you're two strangers…You loved each other..when you love someone it's hard to forget about all the things that you two did.." He looked over Meredith and Addison noticed it. She swallowed trying to hide the hurt and she closed her eyes to not let the tears fall down.

"I have some work to do, Derek. I'll see you later." And Addison left quickly not even letting Derek says his goodbye.

Xxx

Addison began to stir after a good night of sleep. She opened slowly her eyes and hugged Alex more tightly, placing a little kiss on his chest.

"Goodmorning, babe." He smiled already awake.

"Mmmhh.."

"You're not a morning person, uh?" Alex chuckled softly and Addison lay on top of him resting again her cheek on his chest.

"It's not that. I just want to stay here with you." She murmured closing again her eyes. "Last night was so perfect."

"I agree. It was." Alex nodded kissing the top of her head.

"I want to do it again." She kissed his chest again. "And again, and again.." she said while kissing his neck now.

"Now? Because I can see your brother throw me out of that window if he hears that I'm in your room at this time of the morning…." He joked. Well..not at all.

"He won't."

"Why?"

"Because I love you. And because you make me happy. It's all he wants for me, Alex." Addison smiled and a second later she kissed him on his lips this time.

"I'm scared to hurt you."

"You won't."

"Why?"

"Because you love me. And because you're a good guy." She reassured him smiling more faintly this time. "So..do you want to make love with me for the second time?" She asked him blushing and hopeful.

"I'd love to, but…I don't have anymore..uhm condoms.." Alex cleared his voice. "So..unless you don't want to get pregnant..I think that we have to wait until I'll buy some more."

"I want." She said bluntly. He grew pale. "I mean. One day I want..to..you know, have kids." She stammered. "With you, I mean."

Alex remained silent. That was something that a 16 years old doesn't listen every day. Especially someone like him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't have said those things. We're young, I know, and.." Alex stopped her putting a fingers on her lips.

"Breathe, Adds." He gave her a nervous smile. "Don't you think that it's a bit early to speak about this?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry Alex." She laughed a little hiding her face in his chest.

"It's nice though." He said some minutes later. Minutes that he passed thinking about her words.

"What?"

"Dreaming about have a family with you. I don't know how things are going to be between us. I'm pretty sure that I'm going to screw this up. It's so me. But I thought that those kind of things could freak me out with all the family issues that I have. And a little it freaks me out, but not so much to not think about your words. And I don't think that I could love someone else like I love you. I didn't before you, so I don't think that I will after you. So..I like to think about a future together. It makes me feel safe, it makes me feel part of something really important."

"You really love me." Addison whispered smiling.

"I really do. I don't want to make promise that I can't keep, but I can promise you that I want to have a future with you until you want me."

Xxx

Addison was standing at the nurses' station when she saw Stevens approach one of the nurse standing there near her. She could tell that the blonde doctor was pretty pissed at the red haired nurse. Addison contemplate the idea of mind her own business, but she was curious.

"Listen, I didn't know that you two were together…I just.." the nurse began to explain, but Izzie had a dead look on her face.

"You just what? Screwed my boyfriend?" Izzie fired back and Addison stopped her work.

"If I knew that you and Alex were together, yes, I wouldn't have slept with him."

"Unbelievable."

"We lost a patient and he was down for other reasons and I didn't know that you two were together.."

Addison left the two and they didn't notice her, too much busy with their fight. After have asked around the hospital, she found Alex asleep on a stretcher.

"Wake up." Addison ordered, hitting Alex's forehead.

"Ouch.." he frown opening his eyes.

"This is how you study?" She was standing in front of him with her hands on her hips.

"What's your problem, woman?"

"It's Montgomery-Shepherd, Karev."

Alex simply rolled his eyes and rose in a sitting position. Addison sighed and sat down near him, taking his book in her hands.

"What happened? Why you're looking for me?" He asked her rubbing his eyes.

"I.." she stammered not really sure if she should tell him about what she listened before.

"I'm sorry." Alex told her after a while. He was looking intensely at her.

"For what? I'm not the one you cheated on.."

"I'm sorry for what happened almost 20 years ago. I really am sorry, Addison."

"Alex.."

"I always thought about you in these years. I missed you so much, Adds. Really. I know that I can't change the past, but, please, try to forgive me, because even if I have you in front of me…I still miss you." His voice became full of emotions, full of regrets and she couldn't ignore it.

"I met Derek six months after you left me. I was walking around like some kind of zombie. And then I met him and Mark, his best friend. The guy who I slept with while I was married to Derek." She gave him a nervous smile and Alex nodded. He thought that was a good thing she was doing now. She was talking to him like they always did in the past.

"Derek and I became more focused on our careers, more lazy to even fight…and he became distant. He began to forget our anniversary, he began to come home late.. And I was feeling lonely. Mark was always there with me. He was really a great friend. I don't know how happened but that night…I just.." Addison shook her head before speak again.

"He was there, I was feeling lonely and I slept with him. Derek saw us. He saw what we were doing and..and he just left." Alex took her hands trying to comfort her now that she was crying.

"When he came back, he took my clothes and threw them out of the door. He then locked me out of the house under the rain. I was crying, I was telling him how sorry I was but..he left me again. I spent the whole night alone in our house, crying. That night I lost another important person in my life. It was..It still hurts because I know that everything isn't going to be like it was in the past."

"I just don't get why you're still around someone who clearly is in love with another woman. It's not you, Adds."

"He's my husband, Alex. I still love him."

"But he doesn't deserve you. Listen, Adds. He didn't fight for you. He left you."

"You too.."

"I already told you what happened. And we weren't married."

"That doesn't hurt less, Alex."

"I know but I can't change it. Damn, stop crying." He hissed angry at himself, angry for the past. "Stop it, Adds. Please." Alex was now an inch away from her lips, his forehead against hers. "I really wish I could change everything. I broke you, and I can do nothing to make you feel better. But let me say this: try as you want to save your marriage, but when you'll have to admit that your lovely husband is a freaking ass, please find the will to leave him for good. You deserve to be happy and clearly he's not going to forgive you soon."

"You're mean."

"I'm right. You know that. Addison, someone who loves you…honestly babe..if he really loved you he wouldn't have left you."

"Alex, you did it. Damn you. You left me. And you always told me how much you were in love with me." She tried to escape from him but Alex didn't let her go.

"How many time I have to say that I hadn't choice, Addison? Because I'll say it until you'll understand it. You have no clue about what happened between your father and me. So you don't have the right to make me feel a crap more than I'm already feeling. So stop it. Don't compare how I left you with how your husband left you."

"I should talk to the Captain."

"Yes, you should." Alex nodded and then, without really think, he kissed her forehead. "You know that I tell the truth. Maybe I'm a pig, maybe I'm an ass, but I tell the truth and this is the only right thing that I have."

"It's not the only one.." Addison whispered. "Do you need some help?" she pointed to his textbooks.

"No, go and try to make your husband fall again for you." He nodded toward the door. "Go, Adds."

"It's Montgomery-Shepherd for you, Karev.." she rolled her eyes and after a quick smile she walked away.

"Yeah..whatever." Alex murmured going back to study.

Review please =)