Authors Note: I own nothing. No ownership rights to Beverly Hills 90210.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

It was going well. Well, I thought it was going well.

Rush week had taken place with Bren, Andrea, Brandon, David and I watching from the sidelines. Steve had tried to get Brandon to join but while football on the KEG lawn was one thing he didn't feel inclined to swear fidelity to a brotherhood that was known to rate women while sitting on their front porch. I think his twin and girlfriend would have had something to say if he even dared to consider it. Steve was already getting enough flack from the two of them and his girlfriend. Brandon had asked for help moving furniture into the apartment and I had jumped at the chance. Steve had a KEG function he couldn't get out of, so it was just Brandon and the girls there. When he turned up later with Celeste, once all the heavy lifting was done and we were all sitting around sore and eating pizza, he had filled us in on the life of a fraternity brother. Even B and I didn't smile after a few minutes, the girls were just angry.

Bro's before Ho's was not the line he should be throwing around so casually.

My woman… my friend…best friend, she let him know what would happen if he referred to women as ho's again. Andrea and Celeste said they'd help.

While rush week activities were the highlight for some freshman, mine was class, specifically Romantic Poetry and French Literature. For our morning classes I'd arrive with two coffees because we had determined my route to school had the best coffee place on it. On Monday's when we were together most of the day Bren had surprised me with packing me an extra lunch. She had become the official cook over the summer when she wasn't on set and she was using her time off to keep up the tradition. Sitting on the lawn eating a lunch she prepared us, conversing or reading aloud to each other in French or interpreting a poets romantic line- College, the tuition fee alone just for this was worth it.

In week two we were just leaving our Thursday double, speaking in French. I was trying to explain the old grammatical rule of the eighteenth century writer we were covering that week when his hands wrapped around her from behind. When his face buried itself into my spot on her neck, as he whispered, "Darlin twenty-three day's is too fucking long."

She presses her lips together and her eyes scream an apology that she'll never voice. I have a second to decide what's the best course, leaving means that this part of her life may be closed to me forever. That I'm only able to be friends if I don't have to bear witness to her moving on. How long before that becomes a wedge, a point that Josh or any guy would pick up on and declare that I obviously wasn't over her and I was undermining their relationship by my unwillingness to be around them together?

The alternative is what I choose.

I stand and plaster not a smile but not a frown on my face, I welcome him back like I wasn't hyperaware that his hands were still on her. That it was a normal occurrence to see someone else discuss how much they missed her, and how he was so thankful for finally being home so he good get a goodnight's sleep. I pretended it was all okay when he joined us and the rest of the gang at the Condor Café. When he asked something I wasn't aware of, if she had finally stopped getting Brandon and Steve to move the shelving unit around the apartment almost daily as she changed her mind on the best location. I pretended it didn't grate on me when Steve casually threw out that finally with Josh being home Bren would start buying again the cereal he liked, the one she said was for special occasions as it would rot his teeth. I pretended until I processed that and realised what it meant… he was staying with her, that he had been sharing her bed throughout the summer that… I burnt my tongue drinking my coffee, as I stood and declared that unfortunately I needed to go pick up a history book they had on hold for me in the library.

Ben met me for coffee that afternoon when I told my sponsor that my mind was stuck on the loop of her being with someone else fully, in way's that I had only been able to share with her a handful of times. I remember each morning waking up to her, us wrapped up in each other like we were knotted together- does he get that now? I wasn't naïve to think they wouldn't be having a sexual relationship but I was naïve to what that meant with her no longer living at home. Why would he leave afterwards? He'd be an asshole if he did unless she asked.

When I got home that evening Brandon had left me a message on my answering machine, he said nothing of substance no indication why he rang- I knew he was worried about me. If he sensed it then she definitely did. Who am I kidding, she knew the moment he touched her.

Friday, as I wait in our now usual seats with her coffee already sitting waiting on her table, I remind myself I don't lie. I don't hide my feelings from the people I love. That she deserves honesty in everything, if she asks I have to be honest.

Thankfully she doesn't. She comes in and acts like she normally does, maybe too normal. If that's how she wants to play this I understand and respect it. We sit and discuss what I thought of the homework, and if I was going to attend the student photography display in the art centre- we agree to go together after class during our nearly two hour break. It's completely normal and she makes no reference to Josh's arrival, except when I ask if she is excited for next week.

"Yeah, no. Maybe. The focus group loved it and I guess that's even worse in a way because now there is an expectation it's going to be big. The network is even hosting a party the night before the launch, it's going to have a red carpet and everything. ET, MTV, the local stations, are covering it- they want to get on the news on Thursday so that there is a buzz to watch it that night."

"That sounds like a lot, talking to reporters off the cuff is never an easy thing."

"Yeah, Samantha and even Josh's mum have been great in giving me tips."

I take a sip of my coffee and ask, hopefully casually, "will he still be in town? Able to walk the red carpet with you?"

She breathes out like this is a topic of frustration, "he wants to especially as the network has practically demanded that I need a plus one, but his sponsors are pretty angry as it will mean he'll miss the first day of the tournament. Missing that many points will mean-"

"He won't be able to place in the top five he may scrape into the top ten for that round."

"Yeah, the points are really tight so it could cost him a rank place for the year. I said for him to not worry and go, Steve's even volunteered to take his place, which had pacified him. Though Steve thinks there is a KEG thing now he's got to go to, he found out when he was at the gym this morning it's why I was late he ran over to tell me; he's worried if he doesn't attend it could cost him a place in the house."

"B?"

"Andrea's grandmother is having the pin placed in her hip that afternoon. It's a long surgery. My parents…" she breathes out, "Mum and I are getting better but the distance and conversation around that time has opened up to a bigger conversation about the double standard that has always been between Brandon and I. Dad, well Dad and I- anyway I don't want to walk the carpet with them. I even thought about asking Val to fly in, but it's her little sister's birthday the next day and she practically raises them."

I take another sip and then try for a relaxed tone though I'm so hopeful. "I've had experience with the press, and I've been told a time or two by you that I look good in a suit. I'm free…"

"You hate the press, the spotlight, you hate it all, and they will write about you."

"Yeah, but it's not going to be about me, my dad, my mum or the money. It's going to be about the incredible breakthrough actress I will be walking with." It was something I had given thought too. When I found out about Samantha mentoring her I knew she was serious about acting. I knew that once the camera captured her it wouldn't let her go. I didn't want the notoriety because to me it had been only about wealth, status, my parents very public divorce, mob ties, dodgy dealings. It wasn't that with her, it would be about her talent, it would help her build her career, it could turn nasty but only if she opened her life up to be sold be a commodity to her celebrity brand- that wasn't her style.

"Ummm, I don't-"

I stop her before she can reject the offer. "Hey, don't say yes or no now. Think about it, talk it over with your agent, Josh, and then let me know. I'll be at home reading that night anyway."

"You aren't going out, seeing anyone?"

The pitch on the e was the only sign that gave away her emotions in asking that. It makes my cheeks rise and I know I'm unable to hide the pleasure that sends me. "Nope. Not interested in seeing anyone... new. My nights are spent at AA, reading, going to The Pit, a weekly dinner with your parents. Very hermit like."

"And I'm sure you are loving that. You've always loved quiet over crowds."

"I'm better one on one."

She laughs, she knows the reference. "Those were the days when the biggest topic of conversation was where the party was, and if I could convince the illusive Mr McKay to join me."

"Well, you know all my secrets now, and I'm now the one asking to attend the party. If you need someone I'll always go no matter the size of the crowd."

"I'll take that under advisement."

Once class was finished, we grabbed another coffee and went to the art centre. They were talented especially the nature pictures. Bren mentioned looking at the black and white waves and sand how much she missed her morning walks. How one day she wanted to make enough money to buy a place by the water. It was on the tip of my tongue that money wasn't the issue, that I'd buy her a place this afternoon. I didn't though, I kept my mouth shut.

The next day going through the paper though, I did find myself looking in the realestate section at coastal properties- I told myself I was just curious on price nothing more.

Josh wasn't a guy who laid down the law, it was both because he knew he'd be kicked to the curve before the words were even out and because it wasn't in his character. Dylan's offer I had raised it casually with a dismissal already in place, that it was nice of my friend to offer but it wasn't a real consideration, and it wasn't. Kyle was coming up. He would come up and be my arm candy as Steve had taken to calling it. Josh said as long it was the type of candy that mouths or any parts didn't go near then he was fine.

Dylan had simply nodded when I told him who was taking me on the Monday in class. On the Wednesday he had wished me luck and asked if he should still get me a coffee for our Thursday morning double. I told him yeah, that surprisingly while it was difficult to get my head around the old language structures it was my favourite class so I wouldn't miss it because of one late night.

I left my dull afternoon acting 101 class early, in favour of getting my hair and makeup done. It meant that when I arrived home an hour before the car turned up it was to a number of very upset answering machine messages from Kyle who had pulled a muscle in his morning training and had been ordered by his coach to spend the next forty-eight hours staying off his right leg. I sat there in my room looking at my black dress hanging up. I had taken the wardrobe departments advice. Not too many accessories around the face as it became distracting on all cameras unless the lighting was carefully monitored. My hair would be out, and as the dress was black it was shoestring strap to make it not photograph heavy in the California evening sun. The dress had a straight neckline and went just below my knee. It's thinly woven fabric touched my skin giving me shape but it did not cling to everything.

The most daring thing about it was the low back. The producer's had wanted to see it, and they had agreed it was conservative for the character I played but was feminine enough to make me desirable and just on the cusp of a new trend to be talked about as someone who was fashionable. Having a dress analysed in such a way was both horrific but expected, Samantha had taught me well.

Next to my dress is my dressing table and as I look over I see my perfume. A number of boxes had magically appeared the day some of our larger furniture pieces had arrived. He didn't say anything they just appeared on my table when I had walked into my room that night- it was his way of telling me not to make a big deal. That he wanted to maintain the same routine, that a new bottle would just arrive. Except this time all the new bottles a year's supply had arrived at once. I knew it meant he didn't know when he'd be back to see when I needed a new bottle, it was a beautiful and sad gesture.

I pick up the phone and ring. Before he can even say hello I speak.

"Your black suit, is it-"

"I got it cleaned on the weekend just in case."

"Okay no tie, just a white shirt or a black one with the top two buttons undone. It's a red carpet but it's a party not too formal."

There's humour in his tone. "Yes Ma'am." I pause, I know he's joking and was going along like this was expected, wanted, but…

"Are you sure? There will be press and picture's."

"This is your career what you want to do for a living, I'm sure I want to support you… in everything."

"Thank you. The car is picking me up in fifty minutes-"

"I'll be ready then. Just in case it gets there early."

"I owe you-"

"Bren you will never owe me anything. Though this is the second time I've been a last minute d… escort."

"Don't ever call yourself an escort in front of Steve. He'll never let you live it down, he'll be making Richard Gere references forever."

"Okay, I need to jump in the shower and shave. We can figure out your title for me later."

It's only when I've said goodbye and hung up do I think of his words. How do I introduce him?