Austria chapter done for Map of the Stars. Up next will be Belarus, probably.

Russia: BELARUS? WHERE?

Me: In a chapter. She'll be up next. *headdesk*

Russia: You will put that she is not allowed to rape me (again), da? And that we will not get married? And that her watching me sleep is really, really, really creepy? And that -

Me: *covers Russia's mouth* Quit spoiling the chapter, dammit!

1. Austria is not allowed to bring his piano to meetings.

2. Playing the piano is not a battle technique.

3. He is not allowed to have sex with Hungary on the piano if he does bring it to meetings.

4. No matter how much Hungary asks, he is forbidden to have sex on the piano with Prussia …

5. … Switzerland …

6. … or anybody, really. And her puppy-dog eyes are not a good excuse to do so.

7. If Hungary asks/tells him to make a "movie" with another country, he is to decline.

8. Because chances are that the other country will be Prussia or Switzerland. Or both, Hungary isn't picky.

9. If Hungary locks him in a room/closet with Prussia/Switzerland, he is not allowed to try to kill himself.

10. … it wouldn't work, anyway. Hungary would have removed anything that he could end his life with.

11. Feliciano is a boy. Not a girl. He needs to remember that, despite the fact that it is fairly easy to guess the wrong gender.

12. Since Germany does not remember that he was the Holy Roman Empire, Austria should not beat him up for distracting Feliciano from his work.

13. He should make it clear to the other countries that his hair curl is NOT his erogenous zone …

14. … because Hungary is telling Prussia that it is.

15. "But she gave me puppy dog eyes!" is not a good excuse for becoming Hungary's sex slave.

16. He is not allowed to kill Prussia for calling him "whipped" …

17. … because he is.

18. The same goes for "cheapskate".

19. "Piano-fucker" is a maiming, not killing, offence.

20. … and face it, people will eventually think that, seeing as he spends almost all of his free time with his piano.

21. He is not allowed to try to regain control of Romano …

22. … because Romano is quite happily claimed in the name of Spain.

23. He is not allowed to try to regain control of Feliciano …

24. ... he's a grown nation with his own troubles and doesn't have time to wash his dishes.

25. Austria is not allowed to tell Liechtenstein that her brother is a huge cheapskate …

26. … she already knows. Besides, he's a bigger cheapskate.

27. If Austria breaks any of these rules, he will be locked in a room with Justin Beiber playing. All suicide attempts will be stopped.