Alright, I feel I 'ought to warn you all – this chapter is completely unplanned. I'm writing as I go and publishing as is. I feel that's the only way I can go about this part. Hopefully you'll like this.
Also, my apologies if Spike and Giles don't exactly come off as British. I'm American, I haven't the slightest clue how to write and make it sound better than I've done thus far. If you hate it, I'm sorry. It's the best I can do.
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"I realize you'll have a hard time with it, but try to refrain from opening your mouth and let me speak?" Buffy asked as she walked in the room. He was sitting in a chair in the corner watching TV. Her eyes wandered over his body, the man she'd missed for so long. The man she'd mourned. His nod was slow; like he was afraid she'd attack him or something, as if he didn't trust her. "I'm not going to jump down your throat. I'm not going to yell or scold, I just have to get some things out, and I need you to be silent." She added and watched as he relaxed once more. "When I said I love you, I meant it. There you were, standing there with this huge glowing thing running through you, saving the world, and all I could think was how wonderful the man I love looked. How brave and strong you looked standing there, doing what was right. I told you I love you and you denied me. You didn't believe me. You shattered me." Buffy took a deep breath and began pacing back and forth in front of him. The painful look on his face was too much for her to handle at this point, so she avoided it. "I made myself weak and vulnerable to you. I gave you my all in that moment, and you shut me down. I spent a year without you after that. Each day was a struggle for me. In the beginning I couldn't sleep. Nightmares plagued me.
"However hard I thought my life was, though, it only got harder each time I saw the way my friends would look at me. So I got strong again." She closed her eyes briefly, to remember her point. "I've spent all this time trying to move forward. To be the woman I should be, and fight the good fight. Trying to make what you did worth it…" the words died out as she tried her damndest not to get emotional. "Then, you show up here and you tell me you've been alive – or undead – or whatever all this time and expect me to what? Welcome you with open arms? It's not going to be like that. I'm not going to just fall back into some old rhythm because it's familiar. I've got more people to worry about now, the last thing I need to do is screw myself up again." Her eyes finally dared a glance at him. His face was unreadable, partially due to the dim lighting. He was neither happy, nor sad, she could see that.
"Is it my turn now, pet?" that beautiful familiar voice was a bit raspy, probably due to dryness. Buffy was very nearly certain they hadn't had anything to drink since they'd arrived. When she nodded, he continued. "While nothing would please me more than to remind you all the ways I can love you right now, I didn't come here with those intentions. I came here because I had nowhere else to go. Don't take that as an insult, love, because it isn't meant as one. Last thing I want to do is ruin your life. Come here, get you back, ruin all the work I did in dying the first time 'round. I already told you that's why I didn't come back right away." Spike stood then, wanting desperately to reach out and touch her, but knowing it was best if he didn't. "I know you don't want to understand, but please try? The last thing I ever meant was to cause you harm. What I did was no grand gesture for the world, I did it for you. And for myself."
"You honestly want me to believe you want nothing to do with me?" Buffy looked into his eyes, her arms crossed over her chest. All she was getting from his little speech was that he didn't want her he just needed somewhere safe to stay for the time being. When she couldn't bare it anymore, she continued. It had seemed like hours went by, but no time had passed since she'd finished her question. "Fine," she stated, with the straightest face she could keep without letting the pain spill out, "You can stay. We're going to have an assembly with all the students. You need to be there, so does Angel. Giles will tell you when and where." With that, she turned and walked out. Her breathing was deep and calming, she knew she needed to talk to Angel before she could leave. After she'd taken a second to gather herself she walked into the second room. When she was about to speak, Spike interrupted, apparently having followed her across the hall.
"You know that's not what I meant, that's not fair." He'd raised his voice slightly, Angel stood when he entered and put his hands on his hips.
"What did you say now?" he growled and glanced between the two who'd just entered, his eyes landing on Spike. "Are you capable of keeping your mouth shut long enough to keep your foot out of it?" Angel shook his head before looking at Buffy again. "What'd he say?"
"Nothing, he didn't say anything," Buffy shook her head, speaking over Spike's attempt to explain himself. "Just let me talk to Angel Spike. Can we just not do this now?" she glanced at him over her shoulder as she spoke before turning back to Angel.
"Tonight. We're talking." Spike mumbled before backing out and making his way back to the other room, stopping only long enough to glance back once more and see Angel sit back down and Buffy take a seat on the opposite end of the bed, against the wall. Buffy rolled her eyes when the door closed behind him and looked back at Angel.
"Sorry." She sighed and looked down for a second before back up at him. "You can stay, but we have to have some sort of an assembly. To let the students know you guys are safe." She said, knowing he'd probably already figured out that they'd need to tell the students for himself. Angel was always the quick thinker. "And no, I don't want to talk about that. I don't even want to talk to that," she gestured across the hall where Spike had gone, "But sadly I must. I'll get over it though, just as I did with you and with Riley." Her eyes were no longer on Angel, but on her hands in her lap.
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I'm honestly not sure how I feel about this chapter. On one hand I feel it's rushed and ridiculous and just all bad. On the other hand, I think it's got the right emotions in it, and I think it really captures the depth of Buffy's pain. The biggest downside to it, however, is how out of character I'm nearly positive I made everyone. I tried though, I knew this wouldn't be an easy one to do. Anyways, let me know what you think?