Normally I don't give out a disclaimer because its fairly obvious I don't own the story...if I did...why would I be writing fanfiction? Great question...and moving on. I do want to say that the Ether characters that are original, Sicerio, Lily, Cindy, and Red are mine. You can't have them. Not for a bajillion dollars.

Sicerio: Age 26 (technically 25,026)

Lily: Age 25 (technically 25,025)

Red: Age 26 (technically dead)

Cindy: Age 25 (technically 25,025)

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Naruto found himself in the strangest position he'd found himself in years. Ever since that time he'd accidentally kisses Sasuke-teme and had two beautiful girls bash his skull in. Yeah...even worse than that kind of awkward moment. Or the time he'd woken up in Kakashi-sensei's house with a wicked hangover and a bloody man beside him. It was horrible trying to be explained to that his sensei had died of a nosebleed.

What kind of strange and awkward position did Naruto find himself in? The kind where Sakura had pounced on him shouting loud obscenities at the new arrivals, while Ino of all people had magically appeared in his arms as well (Naruto has to love me as an author now!), and was shouting her own string of obscenities at Sakura for annoying her otouto. Tsunade in a drunken stupor was asking the man of the arriving group if he wanted to have a good time.

"Soooo...how's it...gonna go in?" said that very same drunken Tsunade. Her arm was drooped over the man's shoulders and her lips were nearly upon his...when to their amazement, Tsunade was forcefully pushed back away from him. Naruto, Sakura, Ino, and Tsunade were all stunned at this. Who had the strength to push the Hokage away?

"Stay off my man hussy!" cried out Lily...who then blushed a deep red over her...territorial words. The two brown haired arrivals looked at the redhead as if she'd grown a second head (Twice the Vulgar mouth!). Instead she turned away from them whistling an innocent tune.

"Ok..." Sicerio began, "Now for something completely random!" To his credit, Sicerio did not know about Gai and Lee...had he known he would not have uttered the phrase...or maybe he would have. Who knows? Its not like he's based after the author in any way, shape, or form.

There! From the East! Two dust trails came in closer and closer, until bursting from those dust clouds two very three dimensional Gai and Lee made some nice guy poses. All of them faster than we can blink or even think, but who cares? They were dashing MEN after all! "You called for us?" Gai began in a deep Australian accent for no apparent reason. His answer was a swift blow to the forehead by Tsunade because the author paid her to get rid of the short entertainment. Lee...followed cowering in fear of Tsunade's mighty wrath (her words...not mine.

Lily once again smacked Sicerio upside the head, "Before you get us killed dumb ass." Sometimes, no matter how much she loved the man...she wanted to strangle his neck and then bash his body against some walls...and then throw his mangled body on the bed and sex it up...wait a tick! Thats just sick!

Sicerio from his place on the floor (anime effect), sweat dropped (two in a row!), and muttered, "Yes mother dearest." He stood up and dusted himself off as if nothing happened (Three in a row baby!!), and made himself look presentable. "Hello strange alien.." WHACK!"...nice...nice people. My name is Sicerio, I come from the head huntin-..." WHACK! "...this is Lily," he gestures towards the redhead with blue eyes, and a throbbing vein in her forehead, "And this is Cindy," he gestures to the chuckling/jealous/depressed woman.

Naruto was the first to walk up to the three and had a mischievous glint in his eye, with a simple seal and a puff of clouds he tested the man to see if he was a pervert or not. "Sexy no Jutsu"

There before Sicerio was a sight not unlike he'd ever seen. A teen blond haired, blue-eyed kid that was naked underneath the clouds. While Lily and Cindy turned red in the face and refused to look at each other, naughty dreams about Sicerio and themselves, Sicerio put his hand forward and palmed the breast winking him in the face. "Thats funny...they look real"

Everybody fell over, their legs twitching in the air. Naruto back in his annoying orange suit, and his hands holding to keep himself from being touched again found comfort in three ladies laps, "An'...an'...then, he touched me!" wailed the loud blond. They each nodded and cooed at him as if he were a baby...which he was in their case. (Baby Brother, Baby Boy, and Sexy Baby.)

At length when things had calmed down Tsunade, the one clearly in charge demanded a response. When Sicerio had continued to ignore her and was instead conversing lightly with the other two strangers, she cocked back and aimed one of her Super Punches to the back of his head. His fate was set in stone...he was a dead man. He couldn't be anything other than a civilian...a samurai at best maybe.

To the Naruto Universe characters, they were surprised when Tsunade's hand stopped. She herself was angry that she'd been stopped and not even budged the man. Whatever was holding her back was not the greatest thing for ninjas all around.

Then that voice kicked in. With his back to the Naruto characters, Sicerio spoke up in that suave voice of his, "You shouldn't hit a person with glasses in the back. No matter your profession," and turning around they could see the eyes. The kind of eyes that told the story of death and pain, blood and guts.

"We've been through a very, very long day miss Tsunade. One of us is dead today...and his death has lead us here. I think its safe to say we're not in our basement anymore. We're going to need a base of operations if we're to find a way back...if there's a way back," this new voice was laced with a hidden depth of sadness. A well brimming to the top, and yet not shimmering for all to see. Held back for the face of strength. They had been through a lot.

Tsunade considered the option only for a moment, but if they were to stay here they'd need to do something in return. The answer was standing behind her eating popcorn at the theatrics. Naruto, Sakura, and Sai all needed a new sensei. Here in front of her, were three people whom she assumed could all use this invisible force. "That is fine," came her calmed voice, "in return you will need to educate some of our shinobi. Be productive."

Sicerio turned around to consider her and her words. His eyes though murky from the brown, had hidden wheels turning and turning behind the dark depths. He turned to Lily for her input, and she looked back at him. Changed from the pale redheaded beauty, she seemed more ethereal right now. Lost in her own thoughts and...musings of Red's Death. When she noticed his gaze she nodded, and he changed his view to Cindy. She was...less hurt than she felt she should have been, but there wasn't much she could do in the way to hurt herself. She looked back at him and Sicerio nodded knowing what she meant...she didn't care right now.

Sicerio looked into Tsunade's blue eyes and he gave her a smile, "Deal...naturally we'll need an apartment, training space, equipment, life insurance for those who don't make it, and a hot water." WHACK!..."Ok...I'll assume you have hot water." WHACK! "Fine! Jesus Christ woman! We'll need some Midol for the crazy bit-" WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!

Tsunade looked almost in horror where the man in front of her was being pulverized. Almost because the woman had been able to get to the man when she hadn't. Almost not because she really wanted to beat him herself as well. "Ino, go get Sai and take him to training grounds thirty-seven..."

She was interrupted by the man on the ground who despite his beating was smiling up at her, "Just by any chance can we make that seventeen?" The question only brought him a more severe beating, now by Lily and Cindy. It was a regular old reminiscencing time for Naruto, Sakura, and Ino...when the girls had beat him daily.

"Training grounds...seventeen...then," came her irritated voice. "Sakura, Naruto, head to training grounds seventeen and clear it up...make sure to stretch." Tsunade was grinning like a Cheshire cat...not that she would've known what one was. "Come Sicerio-kun, Lily, Cindy...we have your evaluation to process."

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Perhaps it was just him...but Sicerio had the sinking feeling that he wasn't well liked today. First Red ups and kills himself by doing...whatever he'd been trying to do. Then some blond brat in orange offers him breasts and then says he molested him. Then this broad kept pushing and pulling him on the way to evaluate them. From what he'd seen they wrote in something akin to kanji...so it was some sort of Japanese culture. But the symbols were slightly different...something that only happens from being in a culture slightly different, which results from place and time. Either they'd gone to some weird universe above or below theirs where the Japanese culture had developed differently...or in some other time in their own universe Japanese culture was very anime like. (Not 1990's).

They walked past vendors and shops and all of the stuff looked interesting and new...but then he saw it. The one thing that he'd spent many nights craving over a 120 page report..."RAMEN!"

The women winced at the sheer decibels in his yell. "Thanks...I wonder if people in Kumo heard you loud enough?" This sarcastic question was met but blank stares. 'Oh right'...Tsunade thought to herself...'they're not from around here.' "Fine...its uhh...a village about 1,800 kilometers from here.

"Ma'am...a sound wave that was traveling 1,800 kilometers would require a decibel level at its base so high...up there in the millions most likely...it would split the atomic structure of everything within 1,750 of those kilometers," came the smart response. Ok, Tsunade had to give them credit...they were pretty smart. Not many outside of a medical field knew about the atomic structure. Besides...what person besides a scholar knew about the decibel levels?

Just to pass the time, Tsunade would ask a few more questions about fields she barely even knew of. "Oh yeah...you sound smart enough, tell me kami...why don't we float off the ground?"

Her mere question sent a throbbing vein on the express lane to Sicerio's forehead. She was honestly...asking about...gravity? "Miss...the reason is so obvious children know the answer before the even understand the implications of such. The answer is gravity. A natural force of the universe in which matter attracts matters based upon a universal constant multiplied by the two masses divided by the radius squared. The standard Earth gravity setting is accounted for at 9.8 meters per second."

Ok...he passed. He was smart, and beyond that...he knew he was smart. Fortunately for he pride and dignity, they were closing in on the training grounds. "Right...so...since we're almost there let me explain what you'll be doing." She turned to the three and put on a serious face. "Naruto, Sakura, and Sai are shinobi. They are trained to kill...and they need a new sensei...a...teacher if you will," she did as best she could to explain. "If you three want help...then you have to help us."

Her answer was the three just brushing past her, "Fine...but you also owe me ramen when we win!" came the ever annoying voice of Sicerio DeMiyo.