Here we have Denmark, done for an anonymous reviewer on Chapter 12.

Also, I get to see Insidious tomorrow. FUCK YES!

Russia: Your American horror movies are quite tame ...

Me: *glares* IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT MY COUNTRY IS A WIMP. *cries*

Russia: ... *backs away*

1. Denmark is not allowed to tell everybody that Finland and Sweden are having sex …

2. … they already know.

3. Denmark is not allowed to give Sealand the Talk …

4. … he doesn't need that kind of mental scarring.

5. Yes, Finland is Santa. However, that does not mean that he will get free porn whenever he asks for it.

6. Sweden didn't leave because he was jealous that Denmark was hotter than him.

7. His hair is not cooler than France's.

8. … even though it is.

9. He is not allowed to start an "Awesomeness War" with Prussia …

10. … he would lose.

11. His axe is not cooler than Spain's.

12. He is not allowed to insinuate that Spain is compensating for something with his axe …

13. … because that would mean that he is doing the same thing.

14. … also, Spain is not compensating for anything.

15. Danish and Norwegian are written together because of the similarities in the languages, so he should stop saying that it has a "deeper meaning".

16. The Nordics are not his bitches.

17. Sweden will kill him if he gropes Finland again.

18. Norway doesn't mind being groped, it's being groped in public that he minds.

19. Sealand is not Finland's and Sweden's lovechild.

20. He is to stop saying that he is …

21. … and he is not allowed to tell Sealand what "lovechild" means.

22. He, Prussia, and America do not have "the combined awesomeness of a thousand beers".

23. Going Viking-mode whenever he is irritated is a bad idea …

24. … especially if he is around Russia. Then it becomes a suicidal idea.

25. He is never allowed to make a Russian Reversal joke ever again.

26. … didn't what happened to America teach him better?

27. Norway will not have sex with him in a broom closet, he should stop asking.

28. … He is not allowed to take Number 27 the wrong way.

29. Iceland doesn't want to have a threesome …

30. … neither does Finland …

31. … Sweden …

32. … or Sealand.

33. He is not allowed to tell Sealand what a threesome is.

34. Denmark is not allowed to have children with Prussia …

35. … or America.

36. Because they would be egomaniacs.

37. Norway is not going to get a tattoo of the Danish flag anywhere on his body.

38. Ever.

39. Getting him drunk won't work.

40. Denmark is not allowed to steal any of Norway's hair clips.

41. They are hair clips, not barrettes.

42. Public drunkenness is not allowed …

43. … especially when he is near France.

44. If Denmark breaks any of these rules, Sweden will beat the living shit out of him, videotape it, and post it on YouTube.