Disclaimer:

Me:*drinks apple juice and giggles uncontrollably*

Edward: *to Seth* what's up with her?

Seth: *to Edward* She's drinking apple juice

Edward: oh no. who gave her the juice?

Jasper: Walks away slowly while whistling*

Seth&Edward: Jasper!

Jasper: *stops* well, hello. Uh,...bye! *Runs off*

Me: *Jumping up and down* I don't own Twilight! I don't own Twilight!

Seth&Edward: Al-right then *run off*

Chapter 12

LPOV

"I'm afraid so Lily, I'm afraid so."

I know what y'all are probably thinking. She told Seth now where's the flashback? Is she going to tell soon? Has she even told him yet? Well, to answer those questions, no I have not told Seth yet and I don't when I'm going to tell him. I'm so scared of his reaction to it that I've become to scared to tell him of my fate. I'm so scared that he'll hate me and never talk to me again. I'm scared that he'll be so mad, he'll go and do something stupid. I'm scared he'll leave me. But what I'm scared of the most is that he won't want me anymore after I'm one of them. I've never been more scared in my life, even more scared than I am of Ross and that's a lot.

It's been two weeks and so far Seth has no idea what's going on. My family left it up to me to let Seth know of the encounter with Volturi and again it's kind of hard to tell him of that without blurting out the rest of the story. Even with all the time I've spent with Seth, I still haven't told him.

And as if that was my only problem. My nightmares are starting to get worse. They've all set at mine and Seth's clearing and they've all stared me, Seth, and most importantly, Ross. They've all had some sort of warning that I would just let it slide and just move on but the one I had last night, scared me. I mean it started like any other dream, Seth and I sitting in the clearing just enjoying each others, then normally something would come from behind and either attack me then Seth, Seth then me, or chase us before attacking him and leaving me there alone. But last night, instead of that something, it turned out to be my worst fear coming to life in my dreams...

*Flashback(dream)*

The wind was blowing gently as I laid against Seth's soft fur watching the stars. The sky was beautiful this time of night. The stars dancing across the sky, the moon shining brightly as it hung up there in the sky, the small pink and purple flowers swaying in the gentle breeze, and of course the sound of Seth's even breathing as he looks around for any trouble as he lies beneath me.

Suddenly, Seth jerked up while I fell on my face.

"Seth, what is i-?" I started to ask but as I turned around I was met by a seething Seth. He stood there-he phased back-with clenched fists as he was shaking with his face contorted in anger. "Seth? Seth what's wrong?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" He seethed through clenched teeth.

"Tell you what? Seth your scaring me." I told him as he continued shaking. What was with him? He's never acted this way before.

His glare deepened, "Why didn't you tell me you were turning into one of them?"

I stood there confused as his words sunk in. 'turning into one of them?' How did he find out? "How did you find out?"

"Well, I overheard your family and now, you just confirmed it." He said through gritted teeth.

Oh god, "Seth, please, hear me out. I was going to tell you, I was, really! It's just-"

"It's just what? You thought it would be better for me to never find out till your one of them? Huh? Oh and the Volturi? Are you serious? What else haven't you told me?"

"That's it I swear! I never meant to hurt you, I just couldn't think of a way to tell you what happened!" I was trying to convince him but he just kept throwing it back in my face.

"Yeah and since you didn't tell me, now look at you!" he pointed at me as I watched him more confused than ever, "Your one of them!" Without thinking about it, I look down to see nothing wrong but when I smoothed out the dress, I noticed my hand just about blended in with the dress. Oh no.

"Seth, I swear! I wanted to tell you!" I tried again but I had a feeling it wasn't going to work. It just kept doing down hill from the first sentence out of his mouth.

"I can't do this anymore. Hope you have a fun rest of your existence. And do me a favor and don't talk to me after this." His voice monotone as he spoke. I couldn't speak and he took my silence as a good time leave, for he just turned around, phased, and literally ran from my life.

*End of Flashback(Dream)*

I woke up crying and thankfully everyone was hunting and Edward and Bella were at there cottage-within hearing range of course-so my crying didn't alarm anyone. Sure Edward found out later that day but he left it alone.

Now, most of you are probably saying, 'get over it and tell him already!' and I'm getting there. Honestly I am. But I have to think of a way to approach the subject without having a mental breakdown. I mean, everyone keeps saying to just tell hm and get it over with, but it's not that easy for me. I mean, look at Nessie for example, she's part vampire but she had the easy route, and was born with it, whereas, I have major problems.

And that's what lead me to what I'm doing now. I'm trying to think of a way while sketching the most peaceful of all my dreams and that's the beginning of all of them. Seth in wolf form, lying on the grass of our clearing, his fur swaying gently in the wind. While I sit against his stomach looking up at the bright night sky. This picture is peaceful to me and I thought it would be a good way to lighten the load. I just hoped it works.

"You know your going to have to tell him soon, right?" I heard Edward say as I put the finishing touches to my sketch.

I sighed as I looked over at me sketch one last time before ripping it out of the book and placing it in my back pocket, "I know, but what if I tell him and he doesn't want me anymore? I'm going to be his natural enemy. I just- I'm just scared of how he'll react."

He lifted me up and sat me in his lap as he started to rub my arm in comfort, "Do you honestly believe that he will love you any less if you become one of us?" I nodded slowly "Oh Lily, your making this seem like more of a bigger problem then Ross," He hissed the name.

"'Cause for me, this makes the Ross thing seem like a harmless butterfly." I told him truthfully.

"You just insulted butterflies by saying that." He chuckled and I giggled. "But seriously Lily, just tell him and I promise you, he won't love you any less."

With a sigh I said, "Your right, I have to tell him. Do you think he's off yet?"

He nodded, "Jacob just got back and Seth should just be finishing up now. Want me to take you to his house?"

I nodded, "Yes, I want to get this over with."

With a nod, we both stood up and I grabbed my key and clasped the chain around my neck before being scooped into Edward's arms. "I still can't believe out of all the keys to chose from at the store, you picked that one." He chuckled.

I held my key protectively, "What's wrong with the Cheshire Cat? I happen to think he's cool."

He shook his head, "Nothings wrong with it but wouldn't you rather have just a plain old key? You know, normal?"

"when am I normal?" he didn't answer as he took off towards to Seth's house.

As he ran I noticed the sun was starting to set and I figured I had to make this quick, but how?

I could tell we made to La Push as Edward's nose started to scrunch up. 'the smell is so strong here, it's not even funny." despite his words, I started laughing at his expression. "Alright, alright, Seth's almost here so, I better go. Call me if anything happens and just be honest and straight forward, okay?" I nodded "Good girl, now good luck" He kissed my forehead and ran into the forest.

As I gathered up all the leftover courage, I walked over and sat on the front steps of the small brown house and waited for my future to hit me in the face.

Seth appeared from the woods and looked at me with a puzzled expression, "Lily? What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Hey Seth, nothing, just a, wanted to talk with you and all" I said lamely as I stood up and walked over to him.

He brushed a loose strand of hair behind my ear, "What'd you want to talk about?"

I took a deep breath, "You remember two weeks ago when Jake was having on patrol constantly and he said I was bonding with my family?" He nodded "Well, I wasn't necessarily bonding with them."

"what do you mean?" He asked, puzzled.

"I was, uh, unconscious for those two days." I said quietly.

"WHAT? What do you mean 'unconscious'?" he asked as he tried to slowly calm down.

I sighed, "I mean, remember what I told you about my healing abilities?" he nodded "well, whenever I heal something that I've never healed before I have to go through a sort of 'healer's task' in order to wake up. The task for that time was for me to heal your back leg. Which by the way, what happened to your leg?"

He looked down, "I, uh, had a run in with one of Ross's 'friends' and I won but not without a scratch."

"Seth! Really?" He nodded sheepishly "It's okay, as long as your okay. But uh, there's more to the story."

"I figured, what did you heal that was so new to you. I mean sure you healed the animal but I thought you healed animals before so-"

"Esme"

"what would make then a diff-wait, what?"

I ran a hand through my hair(Freaking Edward!) "Yeah, I uh, healed Esme."

He looked confused, "What would Esme need healing for?"

"Promise me you won't freak?" I had to ask.

"Lily" he said sternly.

I sighed, here it goes, "I uh, mettheVolturi."

"What?"

"I met the Volturi." I said so quietly, I'm not sure he heard me, but with him being 'Super Seth' and all, he did.

"WHAT? Did they hurt you? What did they want? Do they know you know? What do they want from you?" he nearly growled his last questions.

I took a deep breath and looked down not able to look at his eyes, "You see, while we were at the the clearing, they came by to visit the family. I didn't know anything till I walked in the house. I was going to go upstairs but I thought it was weird that no one was home and didn't leave a note, so I went to the living room. My family was there and four other vampires that freaked me out. They talked and the head vamp looked at my thoughts and that's how they knew I knew. They said something about consequences and suddenly I was being shoved out of the way by Esme. The blonde vampire was causing Esme horrible pain and everyone started to freak out. I crawled over to her and as I tried to use my healing powers to stop the pain. The head vamp noticed and got excited. I fainted from over power use but was still aware of what was going on. The head vamp decided to let my family be if I turned on my eighteenth birthday."

After a second I slowly raised my gaze to see Seth visibly shaking in rage, "Your not turning into one of them."

"I don't have a choice in this Seth." I tried to tell him

"Bull crap, of course yo have a choice. What? Just because they say so, you automatically have to become one of them?" he all but growled.

"Seth, listen to me. I. Have. No. Choice. The decision was made the second I tried to heal Esme." I tried to reasoned.

He started to pace, "I can't believe this!" I took step back from his shaking form "Why'd you have to go and heal her in the first place? Why didn't you just leave it alone?"

"What did you expect me to do? Just let her suffer my punishment? It was my fault she was hurt and I was just trying to repay her! I couldn't just let her suffer after what all she's done for me! So if you want something to blame, blame me. Nothing else." I yelled in exasperation.

"You should have just left it alone! She would have been fine and you wouldn't be in this position! I swear, sometimes I wonder if life would have been better if Esme never adopted you and turned you in!"

His words struck a chord and I could feel my heart shatter. My anger swelled as it took over the heartbreak and I could feel the tears of sadness and anger threaten to leak out. I knew this would happen. I knew it!

I reached in my back pocket, took out the sketch and threw it on the ground in front of him. "There! I don't want it! If you think that I'm so stupid, you keep it. Take it! I don't care! And maybe if your lucky, I'll run into trouble on my way home, You Jerk!" Without another word, I turned around and ran in the direction Edward ran into not even thirty minutes ago.

Lily wait! I heard Seth's wolf thoughts cry out to me. I tried to ignore him and started running faster. Lily!

"Leave me alone Seth! I-I hate you!" I tried to put more venom in my voice but all I got were choked up tears and anger. I regretted saying those words and the ache in my chest grew rapidly as I continued running.

The wind blew harder and the pain in my chest was getting on my nerves and made it hard to breathe. I kept running despite the fact my breathing came out in short pants. Soon, I couldn't take it anymore and fell on my knees.

After a minute or two of coughing and trying to catch my breath, I realized, I had no idea where I was; I wasn't keeping track of how far I ran; and I forgot my phone. Crap! Of all the things to forget, I forget my phone. Now how am I supposed to get a hold of my family. I mean I was still on Quileute lands which means Alice can't see me, I think. I doesn't help that I'm lost in the middle of the forest. Can life get any worse?

I continued to run when I finally broke through some trees and ran into the familiar clearing. At least now I know where I am. To tired to care at the moment that I'm completely lost and most likely won't make it out by morning, I walked over to the nearest tree and sat down. As I leaned back against the tree my emotions took over and I finally broke down. Tears streamed endlessly down my face as I remember the words Seth said. I knew this was to good to be true! I let him in and now I'm all alone again. I gave him my heart and he took it stabbed it, threw it on the ground, stepped on it and threw it in the ocean. My sobs racked my body as I recalled his words.'I wonder if life would have been better if Esme never adopted you and turned you in!' Did he really think that? I can't believe I feel for it! And what I hate the most is that I still love him. I love him more than anything in the world and I hate myself for it.

"A flower as beautiful as you shouldn't cry over a stupid mutt like him." (A/N: you don't know how bad i wanted to stop right there, but it's late and i'm feeling like being nice)

And cue the life sucks banner.

I looked up at the man who ruined my life as he spoke again. "I never thought you would be alone. Who knew the pup had it in him to say such mean things to such a pretty girl?"

"Shut up. You know nothing about Seth. Nothing!" I sneered at him as I stood up wiping the tears from my eyes.

"I beg to differ my flower, he seemed to e pretty honest in his words but then again you never know." He smirked as he stood in the middle of the clearing.

Oh how I wanted to slap him right now. "What do you want with me? You found me, now what?" I now this is stupid but I'm to pissed off to care right now.

"Well, I could just take you now, but what fun would that be?" He asked as he took a step forward then disappearing.

What I did next should put me on the top of the 'so dead by a sadist vampire' list. I cried out, "You stupid sadistic vampire!" then took off running. I know what your thinking, why do I keep running when I don't know where I'm going? Simple, because I'm Lily Reyes-Cullen and I'm not the brightest person in the world. That and honestly, I wanted to get the heck out of there and run for my life.

"Seth!" I screamed hoping I was still in hearing range for him.

Lily? Oh thank god.

"Seth! Help!" I screamed again.

I'm on my way lily. Don't worry. With that, Ross decided to make his power present and I fell to my knees in exhaustion.

I felt a pair of cold arms lift me up and start running, "Sleep my flower. It's okay, rest now." And that's just what I did.

Well, there you go! Chapter 12 is up! i'm working on Chapter 13 as you read and i want to have it up before i go out of town this weekend. but don't worry i won't keep you waiting for long.

okay, so i know Seth was kind of a jerk in this chapter, but think of it this way, the news of the Volturi anywhere near Lily riles him up and knowing that they had tried to hurt her more or less got him severely angry. with his anger, his anger takes over and gets the best of him which causes him to be said jerk. more will be explain next chapter though.

hope i did good with this. give me your input!

oh and y'alls answers to last weeks puppy question were amazing! some of the things you said were so cute and thank you so much for answering it. y'all are amazing.

Those who reviewed/answered Puppy Question:

*rosalinda316(Luv the name btw)

*jenafear

*xoxxAshiexxox

*anti-princess

*RiahhBaby

*May Hope Cullen

*DareBare13

*alsatia

okay, so today's puppy question is, What song is stuck in your head at this moment? the song stuck in my head is Empire State of Mind by Jay-z/Alicia Keys reason for that is my mom found a stuffed bear that says 'New York' in stomach and started singing it so now it's stuck in my head. grrr...

Until next time!

~*Read&Review*~

-Rosalindathevamp