And now we have China, done for NekOtaku.
Be warned, my current OTP is RoChu. So there will be some *cough*a lot*cough of that here.
Russia: Russian Boyfriend Pipe Attack? What is that?
Me: You beat somebody up with a pipe.
Russia: Ah, I see. *heads off to find America*
Me: Oh, shit. What did I do?
1. Hello Kitty dolls are not weapons of mass destruction.
2. If France tells him to "Prove that he's male", he should not start stripping, as that would cause France to molest him …
3. … which would mean that Russia would kill France. And that would be sort of not good.
4. Yes, he is a world power. Yes, he has a great deal of influence over the other nations. However, there never was, and never will be, a Dress Like A Panda Day.
5. There will also never be a Dress Like Hello Kitty Day.
6. If Hungary asks him to be in "a documentary about communist powers", he should decline and start running.
7. … because she seems to think that he and Russia were having sex the whole time …
8. … and that the Cold War was a threesome.
9. He should not touch the books that Japan carries around with him …
10. … they are doujinshis, and if he reads them he would see more of the other nations than he ever wanted to.
11. For that same reason, he will not be allowed to let Japan tell Korea where babies come from.
12. He will not be allowed to let Russia tell Korea either … that would lead to catastrophe.
13. Yes, he is independent. Yes, it is irritating when people think that he is female. However, he cannot kill people for calling him Russia's bitch …
14. … unless it's France.
15. He is not allowed to say that Greece is too old for Japan … unless he wants to be called a hypocrite a few thousand times.
16. He should really explain to Korea the difference between male and female …
17. … so his "breasts" don't get claimed. Again.
18. Russia does have a list of torture methods. He isn't allowed to use them, and should take them away from Russia at the earliest opportunity.
19. China is not allowed to kill America for being an insensitive jerk and borrowing obscene amounts of money from him …
20. … he can beat him up pretty badly, though.
21. China isn't allowed to kill America for making Pokemon jokes …
22. … he can use Russian Boyfriend Pipe Attack, though.
23. China is not allowed to kill people for thinking that he is female …
24. … making sex jokes involving the fact that he and Russia are both Communist nations …
25. … or drawing a decent mouth on Hello Kitty dolls.
26. Woks are not the ultimate weapon … but they are pretty cool.
27. The only answer to "Become one with Mother Russia, da?" is "No, aru". Not "Okay, let me finish this paperwork first, aru".
28. If China breaks any of these rules, Greece will somehow find out about how Chinese people eat cats. … Let's just say that it won't be pretty.