Please don't hate me for how short and how bad this turned out. I promise I'll pay more attention to the next chapter. I've just been really busy the past couple days. I promise the next one I'll put more thought into it.
"You know, Nibblet's really grown up." Spike said when he walked into the room behind Buffy. She'd already turned around to face the door and crossed her arms in front of her. He looked at her with a sad smile; the tension in the room could be cut with a knife. Slowly, he pushed the door closed behind him.
"Look, you only get one chance and this is it. I'm done playing around Spike. What do you want?" she asked. He sighed and looked at her hopefully before taking a deep breath.
"I was wrong, pet. I was wrong about it all. We do have a chance at a future, and I want to take that chance. I want to be with you Buffy – for real this time. Not just be the one you run from your problems to. I want to kiss you in front of your friends, and be by your side every night. I want it all with you." He looked at her, poured her heart out to her. Although her arms were still crossed over her chest he'd seen a flash of what he saw the last time they spoke cross her face. But that was all it was – a flash – then she was looking at him again with a cold look in her eyes.
"Are you bipolar? You really think you can tell me we don't have a future one night, then turn around and ask me to be with you the next time we talk?" Buffy shifted a little from side to side as she spoke, just slightly. She didn't know if she'd be able to keep herself from falling into his arms or beating him senseless. Was he really trying to take back everything he'd said last week right now? Did he really think she'd just let him in again; forget him telling her he didn't want to be with her?
"I know I said things you didn't want to hear, but Dawn… Dawn explained to me. She made me realize how stupid I was being. Love, I want to be with you like you wanted." Spike took a step towards her, wanting to pull her into his arms and hold her like he used to. Just to feel her in his arms.
"Life doesn't work like that Spike. Just because you've decided I'm good enough for you now doesn't mean you get what you want." She shook her head and closed her eyes for a second, letting her arms fall to her sides. "I spent a year, a year," she repeated, to get her point across, "mourning you. I thought you were gone forever." Buffy's words were strained now in an effort to hold back the tears welling up inside of her. Her body was hot and she was fighting to keep the blank face she'd worked hard to put on.
"I spent a week trying not to focus too much on the fact that although you say you spent a year mourning me it took you a few hours to run back to your perfect little Angel. I watch him leave every night to spend with you. I'm not dumb, Buffy. I know where he's going." Spike's words came out riddled with pain. The look on his face let her know he was doing his best to keep himself from yelling. She could remember a time when she'd enjoyed bringing that look out of him. Seeing the passion in his eyes as he yelled at her, fought with her, tried to get her to see that she felt what he felt all along. Her eyes fell shut as his words stung at her.
"I let Angel stay with me because I needed comfort. I needed him. He's like… Angel is like my childhood blanket. He's always been there for me, through everything bad that's ever happened. He's there for me. It's not the same as dying then not telling me that oh, hey, you're alive for a whole year!" she scowled at him. It wasn't like she was trying to flaunt being around Angel in front of him. She wasn't even 'with' Angel. She just needed him, like a little kid needs their blanket to protect them at night from all the scary things in the closet and under the bed. He had always been her blanket.
"Yeah well, if it were army boy instead of Angel would he be your blanket too?" Spike's words were harsh. She stepped back and looked at him a little surprised before she once again suppressed all emotions and stared at him with a blank face. There was no way she was going to win with him, she was slowly realizing. No matter what they would always fight.
"You know what? I don't need to explain myself to you." She shook her head and pushed passed him on her way to the door. When her hand was on the door knob she turned to look at him again. "You don't get to accuse me of anything. You're the one who turned me down." And with that, she was out the door. Once again he'd messed it all up and she was off to spend all her time with broody brow.
"He's just so… Ugh." Buffy shook her head. She'd excused herself under the pretense she wanted to go home and take a hot shower. The sun was still out, and it would be for a while, so she'd have the flat to herself for a while. Faith had gone out to do something with some friends she'd made at one of the clubs she hit up every Friday night. Tonight she was taking out a few of the girls with Angel for some slaying practice. They were all excited to get to spend time with the 'good vampire'. She'd explained the situation to the girls on Wednesday so they'd have time to get used to the idea before springing him on them. When she reached her door she unlocked it and went in. After checking that she'd locked it behind her she threw her keys on the table beside the door and made her way to her room. "One of these days I swear I'll put him out of my misery." She sighed and shook her head as she peeled off the clothes she'd worn today and stepped into the shower. The hot water felt great as she turned to grab the shampoo and began washing her hair.
A few minutes went by and she was washing off with soap, just relaxing in the water, when she heard something. She figured it was Faith coming home so she brushed it off. Quietly she sang to herself – something she only allowed herself to do in the privacy of the shower. Her voice was far from good and she wasn't about to go around flaunting it. Then she heard a noise again and her eyebrows drew together in the center of her forehead. She sighed as she turned the water off, deciding she'd either have to see what the noise was or kill what was making it – either way it meant getting out of the shower which meant she was angry. Buffy wrapped a towel around herself and walked into her room before she heard the noise again. It was coming from the front door – she was right about that. Sighing deeply she made her way to the door and peaked out the window beside it. "Are you KIDDING me?" she groaned and unlocked the door before pulling it open and making sure to stand behind it so nobody outside could see her. Once he'd stepped in she slammed it and scowled. "What is wrong with your brain? Are you malfunctioning? Did you not understand a word I said earlier?"
"You listen to me. It's my turn now. I loved you for years before you admitted to yourself you felt the same. I let you use me. I fought for my soul for you. I did things any normal man wouldn't do to make you love me. I died for you, pet. I understand you had to spend a year thinking I was dead, but I thought I was doing what was best for you. Now, I see I was wrong and you're telling me I missed my shot?" Spike shook his head, "It's not gonna work like that love. You can't push me away like you used to. I know you – better than anyone I know you. You love me every ounce as much as I love you." He took a step towards her and took one of her hands in his. "I don't care how long it takes. I will sit by your side every night until you see you can't get rid of me." Buffy pulled her hand out of his and crossed her arms over her chest.
"I'm going to go get dressed. You're going to sit in there and leave me alone." She said, keeping her voice from cracking the best she could and pointing at the couch. Calmly, she took a breath and walked back to her room. 'I'll kill him. I'll kill him now then all my problems will go away. I won't have to worry about it anymore, because he'll be gone.' She thought as she walked around her room pulling on whatever she could find that was clean. When she finished she was wearing a pair of jeans and an old sweatshirt she'd stolen from Riley when she was in college. It had become one of her favorite things to sleep in since then. Taking a deep breath in and letting it out was all she could do to keep from screaming. She didn't want to deal with this right now. The last thing she wanted was to deal with Spike. "There's blood in the fridge." She pointed towards the kitchen as she leaned against the wall beside the hallway.
"Not hungry." He replied before turning to look at her. "You gonna sit and talk or stare at me the rest of the day?"
"I haven't decided whether or not I'm going to kill you yet." She smirked and glared at him before crossing her arms once more. Her mind was focused on all the things in the room she could use to kill him. She was trying desperately to avoid thinking about how much she wanted to go sit with him and just feel his arms around her again. It had been so long.
"You're not going to kill me, love. You and I both know that. Just come sit." Spike's eyes finally caught hers and she sighed before rolling her eyes and walking over, arms still crossed. Buffy sat in her favorite chair, across from the couch and folded her legs up into the chair. She felt like his eyes were burning holes in her so she looked anywhere but directly at him. The entire situation was awkward but comfortable in a strange way.
"As soon as that sun goes down you're going back." She said quietly, still avoiding eye contact. Her arms were now wrapped around her. To him she looked like she was in an uncomfortable position. She bit her lip and moved one arm up to rest her head on the palm of her hand.
"You say that now. But sunset isn't for another…" he checked the clock, "Four hours. I'm pretty sure you'll come around before then." He smirked at her and she scoffed.
"You're so disgustingly cocky. Don't you ever get sick of being such an… An ass?" she asked before letting their eyes meet for a second. Slowly the emotions were making their way out, but very slowly. She was fighting them harder than ever to keep from letting him see how she really felt. Half of the reason she loved him so much was because he was cocky. He knew she loved him before she did, and he was blatantly honest about it.
"If my memory is correct, you had a liking for my ass. And my c-" just when he was about to say the last word she cut him off.
"Okay, that's enough. What's it going to take to get you to leave?" Buffy looked at him finally, letting the eye contact last longer than a few seconds. She'd cleared her face of any emotions she thought might be showing and wanted him to think she was annoyed that he'd come over – which she was, just not as much as she was letting him believe.
"A stake." He smirked at her and tilted his head to the side.
Okay I know I promised a long one but I can't think of any more at the moment, and I don't even think this chapter turned out as well as I thought it was yesterday. So I'm going to start working on the next chapter now and work on it until it's long and well written and full of Spuffy goodness.