[Authors Note: Chapter 2 ready to go ;D Again, A BIG thanks to Georgia for helping me! And, yes, the title of this story is based on 'Fuckin Perfect' By Pink :) Oh, I know 'IPod's don't exist in the Ninja world, but here they do :P As well as phones and modern music... Other than that, nothing has changed. Also, the chronology of this story... It's set at some time in Shippuden AFTER Naruto's return with Jariya, when Sakura is at least 17. Lastly: WARNING, There be self-harm on the horizon! :o Enjoy! ...Lou x]
Chapter 2: 'Blood and Fire'
By 7pm Sakura was home and in her room, as usual. For at least the last four years or so she had curled up on her bed and thought of Sasuke when the night came. What he looked like, what he spoke like.. How he was before he left. Anything she could remember... She was afraid of forgetting him. Another thing Sakura had taken up more recently, though, was blaming herself for Sasuke getting away... Thoughts like: If only I was strong enough to keep him there... If only I hadn't hesitated.. he was stood so close to me.. I could have grabbed him then and dragged him back. To the Hokage herself if I had to...
Sakura closed her eyes... The Hokage.. Another thing she did a lot of recently was thinking about her sensei... My sensei. Sakura admired that woman. Her strength, her beauty, solidity, intelligence... In fact, as far as the pink haired kunoichi could see... Tsunade was the perfect woman.
Not that that made her feel any better. Sasuke was always in her thoughts, smirking that smirk of his. He made her feel so weak; he taunted her inside her head. It was almost as if he was actually inside her mind. It drove her crazy, but at night she couldn't wait to see him in her mind's eye. She confessed her darkest secrets to him inside her head, because she knew that they were safe there.
She pulled a kunai from under her pillow. This was where she found her sanctuary. She never thought she'd end up doing this. As a child she'd always thought that this was for crazy people, people that had no faith in the world. But that was it; she hadn't any faith in the world, save for two people. Tsunade and him. Not even her childhood best friend could comfort her these days. He was always too busy training with Jariya and eating ramen to listen. She found her relief in the blade of her kunai, as it bit into her flesh. This physical pain was the punishment she gave herself for just... letting him go. The blood she spilled made her guilt lessen for a while.
She bought the cold metal to the soft skin of her stomach, and pressed down, hard. She drew it right and bought it to its point, twisting it slightly as she did so. She did this multiple times before drawing it away from her stomach and peering down at the maze of bloodied cuts that now lay there. A weak smile of relief spread across her lips as she slumped onto her bed. She could sleep now; the debt to Sasuke was paid.
It was the next day and Sakura wasn't due to meet Tsunade for another hour yet but she couldn't help herself. She was having one of her bad days. One of the days where your high heel snaps or you make your toast on mouldy bread; one of the days where every little thing goes wrong and you can't help but need some comfort. So she left her house at eight in the morning and slowly wondered towards the Hokage's. The cuts on her stomach quickly became sore from rubbing against her clothes and she winced at the uncomfortable sensation. The only time she ever regretted the cutting was the day after, when the wounds were fresh and beginning to heal.
Still, she soldiered on towards her goal and within half an hour she was at the Hokage's front door, twenty-five minutes early, all be it. After knocking on the door and being stood outside for a good 10 minutes she was convinced that Tsunade must have been out and nearly left but thankfully a half-asleep, half-hung over Tsunade did manage to shuffle to the door and let her guest in.
Leading her guest into the living area again, Tsunade stood in her dressing gown as the unusually timid Sakura rested on the sofa. "Sakura... You're her so early... I'm not even dressed yet!" Sakura hadn't failed to notice that particular fact. She wasn't sure of exactly whatTsunade was wearing, only that there wasn't allot of it. It was white, semi-opaque and stopped just short of mid-thigh, Sakura believed it was some type of night dress. It looked like she outgrew it when she was her age. Tsunade could sense the sombre mood and was sad to see that Sakura didn't seem to be feeling any happier.
As she brewed some tea for her guest, Tsunade couldn't help but think to herself I swear, one of these days this longing for him will kill her...I know the feeling far too well... I just hope she can see through this image she's built of him and realise... the Sasuke she knew is gone. The older woman took a seat next to her student as she handed over the hot beverage. Sakura thanked her and took a sip, not particularly admiring the taste as she did. Tsunade also began to drink hers, taking an awkward glance at the young girl. When the silence became too much she cleared her throat and asked "So... Something wrong or are you just eager to see me?" This received a small smile from the girl.
As far as Sakura was concerned the less Tsunade knew of her depression the better so she widened her smile and chirpily replied "It's obviously because I couldn't wait to be in your company again, Tsunade-Sama." The older woman seemed flattered and drained her tea, she stood and said "I'll go slip some clothes on and we can start your training early... Go get warmed up, okay?" Sakura smiled and jogged to the garden, stretching and concentrating her breathing in preparation.
The session was going fine; Sakura was being compliant, polite, even improving several techniques they had been working on until it came to a particular exercise. She had to hold a 'hand- stand' position, using Chakra, to strengthen her arm and back muscles. About a minute into the stand, Sakura's dress slid down, revealing her shorts and bare stomach, all very amusing until Tsunade realised her pupil's stomach was littered with scars and fresh cuts which could be nothing but self-mutilation. The first emotion to come to her was anger, followed swiftly by concern and guilt. Trying to remain calm, she darted over to Sakura and lifted her by the ankle, pulling her clean off of the ground. Suitably, the girl squealed, not expecting such a thing from her sensei.
Taking a deep breath, Tsunade said "Sakura... I'm going to ask you this calmly... What are those marks on your stomach?"
[Alas! This is the end of days! D: ... Or not... BUT it IS the end of this chapter... So, thanks for reading. OH, if you have any questions about the plot or my ideas etc, just mail me xD And finally, sex me up! You know you wanna ;D ... Auntie Lou x]