As McGee led him up the stairs, Jethro reached into his pocket and wrapped his hand around the notepad. His gut twisted as he thought about what it contained and he silently slid it out of his pocket. Without giving it a second glance, he dropped it into the trash can - there was no way he could give it to Tony now. Tony's reaction to his return had proved to Jethro that his agents had not understood why he had had to leave. Perhaps there would be time later to explain his motives to them but right now he had a lot of work ahead of him.

The silence between McGee and Jethro was strained and awkward. Jethro knew that McGee had always been nervous around him but this felt different to the older man and he wasn't sure what it meant. They soon arrived at the director's office and McGee spoke to Cynthia.

"DiNozzo told me to escort Mr. Gibbs to the director's office." Cynthia nodded.

"Mr. Gibbs," she repeated, allowing the implications of one of Gibbs' former team calling him 'Mr.' to sink in before she picked up the phone. She looked at the silver haired man. He looked older than she remembered. His face seemed more weather beaten and the lines around his eyes were deeper. There was a dullness to his eyes that made him look like he'd been to hell and back. It was a similar look to the one his team had been wearing after his departure until just under a month ago.

"Director Shepard there's a Mr. Gibbs here to see you." Gibbs waited silently for Cynthia to tell him to go in and it was that that she noticed the most. The old Gibbs would have stormed into the director's office without seeking permission first. This new Gibbs was kind of disconcerting.

"Yes, Ma'am… No that's what agent McGee said. Yes Ma'am, I'll send him in right away." Gibbs still waited. He didn't just walk straight in now that he knew the director had given permission for him to enter. He waited. "You can go in now Mr. Gibbs." Cynthia told him. He nodded and made his way into the director's office. His head and shoulders held strangely straight, he looked like a man walking to the gallows.

Jethro stood in the director's office waiting for her to speak first.

"Jethro," she greeted him. A cocky smile appeared on his face.

"Jen," he retorted. She crossed her arms and frowned.

"No Jethro. This is not the time for your games. Why are you here?" The cocky grin fell off Jethro's face, his face becoming an unreadable mask. Why indeed, he asked himself. He didn't care that his internal voice was starting to sound like Ducky. Why should he had always valued Ducky's opinion. Now I'm starting to go off topic like Ducky, he reprimanded himself.

"Why am I here?" The director raised an eyebrow at Jethro's mindless repetition of her question.

"Sit down Jethro." He did as he was told and she sat down next to him. "What did you expect to find when you came back here?"

Not DiNozzo's anger or McGee's indifference, he thought. "I dunno Jen. I didn't expect this though." She nodded sympathetically.

"You thought that they'd welcome you back with open arms?" He shrugged.

"No but I didn't think…"

"You didn't think that Tony would be so angry at you that he would call you Mr. Gibbs?" He shook his head.

"I thought they would understand."

"Tell me Jethro. Did you understand?" He turned to face her, confusion clouding his face.

"Understand why I had to leave?"

"No. Did you understand when Frank left you?"

"He didn't leave me. He left NCIS." The director shook her head at him, like she thought he was being childish.

"Is that how you felt at the time?" Jethro hung his head and the director continued. "They looked up to you Gibbs. They trusted you with their lives and you left them when they needed you. They had just learnt that their infallible leader, who never got scared or ill or hurt, was a mortal just like the rest of the world and that scared them." Jethro looked up but he refused to look the director in the eye.

"But why…"

"Why did they greet you with such hostility?" Jethro felt the hair on the back of his neck bristle; he was starting to get angry with the director for not allowing him to complete his sentence. "They're defending themselves Jethro. They don't trust you not to leave them again so they won't allow themselves to risk you hurting them again." Jethro stood up.

"I'm going to go talk to Abby and Ziva. Then I need to apologise to my team." Jen stood and walked over to the door. Holding the handle for a moment to stop Gibbs from leaving.

"Be careful Jethro. Ziva and Abby were the worst affected by you leaving. Ziva threw herself into her work and stopped trying to socialise with her team, Abby stopped playing her music and wore a white band on her arm. They both started getting back to some kind of normal just over a month ago. Don't you ruin that." Jethro nodded at her warning and she opened the door for him to leave.

Jethro strode out of the director's office, not stopping to wait for McGee to catch up. His next stop? Autopsy.

"Gibbs, where are you going?" McGee called after him.

"Autopsy" he replied without looking back.

"Why?"

"To talk to Ducky before I go to see Abs." Jethro didn't slow down and McGee was almost jogging to catch up.

"Ducky's not there!" McGee shouted at Jethro, exasperatedly. He had almost caught up with Jethro but his last statement resulted in Jethro stopping dead in his tracks. The younger agent couldn't stop before he slammed into Jethro. "Oh God! I'm sorry Gibbs! I…"

"McGee!" McGee stopped his stammering at Jethro's bark. "Shut up and tell me where the hell Ducky is if he isn't in autopsy." Jethro's growled demand caused McGee to step back, instantly focussed on the question.

"He's gone." McGee stated the obvious, momentarily forgetting that Jethro didn't know what had been happening at NCIS over the past 6 months.

"Where McGee?" Jethro's patience was beginning to wear thin and he could feel the beginnings of anger starting to boil under his skin.

"I… I don't know." Jethro's eyes narrowed but McGee didn't offer up any more information. Truth was, he really didn't know where Ducky was; nobody knew where Ducky was.

"When did he go? Where did he go? McGee looked at Jethro, his eyes widening with fear at the older man's tone, but he just took a deep breath and forced himself not to step back under Jethro's glare.

"He retired, about a month after you left. He said something about it being time for him and his mother to return home." Jethro began, once again, to walk but this time he didn't travel far, just to the nearest seat. He sat down in the chair and McGee watched as all of the older man's energy visibly left his body.

Jethro leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. He couldn't stop the feeling that he ruined the second greatest thing in his life from wrapping around him and crushing him tightly, taking his breath away. The tired looking man in front of him was the scariest thing that McGee had ever seen. He didn't know how to take this new side to Gibbs, this vulnerability, so he made his way quickly to the elevator, leaving Jethro to his thoughts.

The tense atmosphere in the lab was broken as McGee came running in. His face was pale as a ghost and worry flickered briefly over Tony's face. Remembering where he was, Tony schooled his features into his 'boss face' - the one which said 'McGee you better have a damn good excuse for following my orders'.

Upon seeing Tony's expression McGee quickly blurted, "Gibbs doesn't look too good Tony."

"What do you mean he doesn't look to good?" McGee looked at the three faces turned to him and felt uncomfortable under the gaze of those six eyes. He knew that one of them would hit him for what he was about to say next.

"He looks…" McGee closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "He looks old."

Abby was the first to react. She jumped up and moved to where McGee was standing and she began to pummel him with her fists. He didn't move to defend himself; he stood there and allowed her to hit him. When she was done hitting him, he put his arms around her and she leaned against him, telling him softly, "Gibbs doesn't get old. Gibbs is like a superhero with silver hair and a magic gut. He was just recharging because Gibbs doesn't get old. He's forever."

Eventually Abby moved from McGee's arms and grabbed Bert. She squeezed him hard and he made an extra loud noise in return. "Ziva, go make sure Abby is ok and then I want the two of you to bring the info from this case and put it on my desk, I'll write up the report and send it to the FBI to handle. After that Abby and you can come and see Gibbs." Ziva looked about to reply to Tony's orders but his expression made her change her mind and she nodded, before turning and leaving to follow Abby.

"McGee." Tony said sharply. "With me, now!" Tony strode towards the elevator and McGee followed, silently.

As the doors slid shut Tony turned to face his younger agent. "What the hell happened, McGee? All you had to do was escort him to the director's office." McGee ducked his head.

"He came out of the director's office walking really quickly and I only just managed to keep up with him. You know what he's like when he's determined to do something." McGee looked to Tony, hopeful that his boss would understand.

"Ok but what was the big problem with that? You could've just taken him where he wanted to go." McGee shook his head and Tony frowned.

"He wanted to go see Ducky." Tony's eyes widened in worry.

"What did you tell him McGee?"

"The truth. I told him that Ducky retired and that he took his mother home." McGee was confused by Tony's reaction, as Tony suddenly looked very tired. The older agent dragged a hand down his face until it was covering the lower part of his face and cursed quietly, under his breath. "What should I have told him?" McGee asked.

"It's not your fault McGee, don't worry about it." McGee frowned and Tony sighed. "Ducky didn't retire, he isn't in Scotland and he didn't tell Gibbs because he knew that Gibbs might go to Scotland to see him and that would blow his cover."

"His cover?" McGee repeated slowly. Tony nodded slowly. "Ducky's undercover?" Tony nodded once more.

"You are to tell no-one this. If anyone finds out, Ducky could be put in grave danger. I'm trusting you with this McGee. Don't let me down." McGee's eyes widened and he shook his head.

"I won't Tony. I promise." Tony nodded. He knew the younger agent could be trusted. The elevator came to a stop and the door opened, allowing the two men to step out as they headed towards their former boss.

As they approached Gibbs, Tony could see that McGee was uncomfortable being around Gibbs, when Gibbs was so obviously not at his best. "McGee," he murmured softly, bringing the younger agent to a stop. "Go finish up your report. I'll escort Gibbs from here."

McGee nodded gratefully. "On it boss," he said before hurrying off. Tony watched him leave before continuing.

He walked over until he was standing in front of Gibbs. "Gibbs, come with me. We need to talk." Gibbs looked blankly at Tony, then stood to follow him. Tony led Gibbs the only interview room without a one-way window in it.

"Sit down Gibbs," Tony ordered, before sitting on one of the chairs. Gibbs did as he was told, taking the only other chair in the small room.

"Why didn't Ducky tell me he was retiring and going back to Scotland?" Gibbs demanded to know, a glimmer of his leader personality breaking through.

"If he had told you, would you have gone to the airport to see him off? Would you have tried to visit him in Scotland?" Tony asked quietly.

"Hell yeah!"

"That's what I thought and that's why you weren't told." Gibbs' eyebrows drew together in a frown of confusion and hurt.

"What the hell's that supposed to mean, DiNozzo?" He growled, menacingly.

"It's not supposed to mean anything Gibbs. If you had gone to the airport and found that the man getting on the plane wasn't Ducky or if you had gone to Scotland and seen that the man claiming to be Donald Mallard, and living with Ducky's mother, wasn't Ducky… what would you have done?"

"Why wouldn't Ducky have been there?" Gibbs questioned but Tony just shook his head in response.

"No. You answer my question first." Gibbs thought about it for a minute and replied decisively.

"I'd have forced the bastard to tell me what the hell he'd done with Ducky." Tony smiled a satisfied smile.

"And that is why we didn't tell you." Gibbs' frown returned and he looked at Tony in bafflement.

"But why didn't Ducky tell me? And why wouldn't he have been there?" Tony sighed. He was going to have to tell Gibbs the truth. He could trust Gibbs… couldn't he? He used to be so sure.

"He couldn't. If he had told you, you would have reacted as you just said you would and his cover would have been blow, risking not only his life, but that of his mother and cousin too." Gibbs didn't need a minute to process that, his jaw dropped pretty much straight away.

"Ducky's undercover?! But everyone knows him!" Gibbs exclaimed stupefied.

Tony couldn't help but laugh at Gibbs' remark. Gibbs' eyes snapped into his patented Gibbs-Death-Glare at Tony's laugh. Tony just smiled even more.

"That's exactly what my first reaction was," he explained.

"So why'd you let him go then?" Gibbs' tone was accusing and Tony felt his defences begin to rise again.

"Because Ducky was the only man for the job."

"What's his job?" Tony paused for a moment, once again unsure of how much he should tell Gibbs. Could he tell Gibbs the details even though Gibbs wasn't a Federal Agent any more? "Come on Tony. This is me… You can trust me." Gibbs asked of Tony, when faced with Tony's silence.

"But who are you Gibbs?"

"I'm still who I was before Tony. I haven't changed." Tony shook his head in disagreement.

"I used to think I knew who you were. Then you left, proving me wrong." Gibbs hung his head for a moment, then lifted it to look at Tony with pleading eyes.

"Please Tony, tell me. Ducky is my friend. I would never do anything to put him in danger." Tony remained silent for a moment longer and Gibbs began to worry that the younger man wasn't going to tell him what kind of job Ducky was doing. Luckily for Gibbs, his sad puppy-dog eyes won out.

"If I tell you then a total of 6 people will know where Ducky is and what he is doing - you, me, Ducky, Ducky's cousin, the CIA guy that Ducky reports in to and McGee. I don't want there to be anyone else." Gibbs ignored Tony's last sentence and jumped straight to the point.

"McGee lied to me?!" Tony almost laughed at Gibbs' indignation, but he bit his tongue - for McGee's sake.

"No. McGee told you the truth as he knew it at the time." Gibbs' eyebrows formed his 'I haven't got a clue what you're talking about but I'm never going to admit it' expression. "I didn't tell McGee where Ducky is until after he spoke to you." Gibbs nodded then froze, halfway through a nod.

"Ducky's cousin?!" Tony grinned at how long it had taken Ducky to pick up on that tasty morsel of information.

"Yeah. His cousin, Dafydd pronounced Dah-Vith Mallard, is an MI-5 Operative."

"MI-5 and a cousin named Dafydd? What the hell is Ducky involved in?!"

"I'm told Dafydd is just the welsh version of David and there's nothing hinky about that… unlike your redneck name." Tony teased Gibbs; Gibbs wasn't amused. "Ok. Ducky has gone undercover in a body parts smuggling ring. They think he has gone rogue and that NCIS is covering it up by saying he has retired to Scotland. His cousin, who they believe is an British ex-soldier, is looking after Ducky's mother. They're in a small town in east Scotland… They wanted to stay as far from where Ducky grew up as possible but still be in Scotland, to avoid raising suspicions. I hear Mrs. Mallard is having a great time." Tony grinned at the ending and Gibbs shook his head at the younger agent.

"Who came up with that twisted idea for a cover story?!" Tony shrugged.

"The CIA." He muttered and Gibbs rolled his eyes.

A sharp double tap on the door made both men's heads swivel quickly to face the same direction.

"What?!" Tony called out harshly. The door creaked open slowly and McGee's head slid around it from the other side.

"Uh, boss?" Tony gave McGee the 'DiNozzo-Warning-Glare' and the younger agent quickly said what he had come to say. "The CIA director just called. I think we have a new case." McGee's eye's flicked nervously over to Gibbs and Tony got the message.

"Come in and shut the door McGee." McGee did as he was told instantly. "Gibbs knows the truth about Ducky." Satisfied, McGee began to give his report.

"I was putting my report on you desk and your phone rang. The caller ID said it was the CIA director so I answered it… I thought it might be important." McGee stopped and looked anxiously at Tony. He was sure that his boss would be mad at him for touching his phone.

"Report McGee!" Tony said sharply, hoping to snap his subordinate back on task.

"Yes boss. I told him who was speaking and he asked if I knew where Ducky was."

"What did you tell him?" Tony interrupted.

"I told him I knew where Ducky wasn't."

"Good. Okay, go on."

"He said, 'There is now more than one place where Ducky isn't' and that we should meet him 'where two cells lay side by side the last time Ducky went AWOL." Tony frowned and looked from McGee to Gibbs to see if wither understood that. McGee, it was clear, didn't have a clue. Gibbs' forehead crinkled in a slight frown, then something flickered across his eyes and they widened in realisation.

"I know where he wants to meet." He said, mostly to himself, as he stared at the wall behind Tony, his eyes seeing the a memory from the past, a memory of a ghost.

Tony folded his arms and waited for Gibbs to enlighten them. When it was clear that Gibbs wasn't going to say anything else, Tony banged twice on the table.

"Hey Gibbs! You gonna tell us where?" Gibbs looked at Tony in surprise, then shook his head as if to clear it. "You're not going to tell us?"

"You remember when we were hunting down Ari and I told no-one to leave the building…" Tony and McGee nodded. McGee's mouth bobbed open a couple of times before he began to talk.

"Yeah," he said, "and Ducky left the building. We tracked down his cell and Gerald's to that road and Abby kept hoping that there would be a pub there and that they were just sitting in it catching up on old times." Tony looked at Gibbs and he could tell that there was something else about that night that had made it stick so vividly in the older man's mind.

"How did you figure it out so quickly Gibbs? I mean there was a lot going on back then. Why remember 2 cell phones?"

"Kate," Gibbs whispered.

"Huh."Tony couldn't help the unintelligent noise… he didn't have a clue what Gibbs was talking about.

"Kate was there and she said… well she said some things that I think about every night."

"It wasn't Kate, Gibbs."

"It looked like Kate, it sounded like Kate, it was Kate." Tony shrugged, he wasn't going to argue. McGee stayed silent; he didn't want anyone to ever know about Superhero Kate.

"McGee, go gas the truck." Tony threw the keys to McGee and he was, once again, left alone in the room with Gibbs.

"I want in." Gibbs demanded. Tony stood, shaking his head.

"Not my call Gibbs."

"So who?" he asked. "The director?" he added, only half joking.

"No. You need to apologise to each and every one of the team, and make sure they know you mean it. Then you will ask each of them for their permission. If just one of them says no, then you're not in." Gibbs nodded.

"Okay. I can do that."

"Oh and Gibbs… if I find out you've intimidated McGee into saying yes, then you're out."

"What about Abby and Ziva?" Tony just laughed.

"You couldn't intimidate Abby to save your life and no-one can intimidate Ziva." Gibbs agreed and the pair left the room.