Hi, I know that it is crap but I haven't written in ages and I need to try and start again. It is also not that funny, but it is long…not that it's much of an advert. Sorry.
Chapter 12 Prison Blues
The cell was small and crowded, there was not even enough room for all of them to sit down. The walls were dirty and covered in scratched on graffiti. Echoed down the cold stone walls you could hear the sniffles and groans of drunken grief. They say that the worst thing about prison at night is the sounds.
"Damn that was fun," giggled Max unable to believe where he was.
Rei snorted and rolled his eyes, "Don't you start as well" he moaned glaring across the cell at his amused lover.
"Cheer up Rei, Mariah's in jail too" Lee joked sniggering a little to himself at the idea. Rei cracked a small smile. 'Ok' he conceded to himself 'that was pretty funny.'
"Hilary's in hail!" shrieked Daichi laughing the realisation and do a little jig, "Ha! Hilary's in jail!"
"So are we." muttered Michael under his breath scowling at Rei for distracting his boyfriends lips away from his own.
"Relax" groaned Bryan stretching languidly and tipping his cowboy hat forward in the western style nap position. "Get some sleep it's late."
"Get some sleep! WE'RE IN PRISON!" Tala exploded his eye patch turned up into his forehead, his frowning white sleeves billowing as if to show his indignation.
"At least your not in prison dressed as a girl" muttered Rei under his breath glaring at his boyfriend again.
In fact most people were glaring at Bryan, though getting caught was in fact none of the stoners fault. The two culprits really to blame were cleverly sitting next to Enrique and no one dared look their way (Enrique had dared to come dressed as Tarzan in a leopard print G-string, holding a stuffed monkey and wearing not much else.)
"Are you telling me that you didn't enjoy yourself?" asked Bryan sitting up again and cocking his head to the side in question.
"Sure right up until the point where the police arrived and we got chased around the campus with scantily clad women, like some bad Benny Hill sketch," groaned Tala remembering and dropping his face into his hands in embarrassment.
"Hey I hand picked those girls costumes" protested Bryan unable to keep the note of humour from his voice, "I got them the same place I got Rei's."
Quick as lightening Rei shot out of his seat and was flying towards Bryan growling like a man possessed. Not many of them ran forward to help. They both paused in mid-action however when a policeman appeared before the bars.
"Tell the transvestite to settle down or I'm putting him in with the girls" he ordered. Rei growled again but went back to his seat, they had nearly put him in with the girls in the first place, he'd had to insist for ages and show some ID before they had put him in the right cell.
"You are so dead Bryan," he muttered, "You are not getting any from me ever again."
"it's alright" smiled Bryan, "I'm best friends with Kai."
Rei had to be held down by both Lee and Michael, the latter of which was angry at being interrupted again. "Bryan stop baiting your boyfriend," Michael snapped, "And Rei stop being so easily baited. All of you behave and stop interrupting us. We've never done it in prison before."
"guy's where's Kai?" asked Tala now trying to avert his eyes from Enrique and the groping couple next to Rei, he was running out of places to look.
"Behind Spencer" pointed Bryan, "Smart boy's getting some sleep, what we should be doing."
Spencer turned around in shock knocking off one of his Frankenstein bolts as he did in his haste. Kai was curled up happily behind him wrapped in Max's large silk vampire cape.
"Wake him up we need to talk about we're going to do." Max reasoned, "We can't stay here forever, and we were all caught so there is no one to bail us out."
"We weren't charged," Bryan cut in. "We are being held under suspicion, we never actually managed to steal any of the booze, thanks to Ian."
Everyone managed to glare at Ian then even with Enrique in full view.
Ian kicked Kai, "Wake up" he hissed. "Quickly wake up and get us out of this before they kill me."
Kai tried to turn, stopped and then yawned and sat up the cape falling away to reveal the Native American loan cloth and chaps that was his only costume. His well toned chest was marked with the same red paint that adorned his face in it's usual shark fin design. He had worn his hair down without gel and had a cord running through with a feather.
"What's up?" he slurred rubbing his eyes. "Hey are we in my cell?"
"We were arrested for attempting to loot the party." Bryan explained walking over and elbowing Spencer out of the way so that he could sit down beside his friend.
"That's a new one" Kai commented picking up the cape and looking at it oddly a minute before scanning the room and nodding his head at Max in thanks. "How long we been in?"
"Only about three hours." said Bryan shrugging and leaning back against the wall.
"Only?!" exploded, the until then quiet ninja dressed Kevin "Three hours is more than enough!"
Bryan turned his head slowly side to side letting out a sigh of disappointment. "Always the first to volunteer always the last to take responsibility."
"Hey fuck you! I'm sorry that I'm not a career criminal like you!" spat Kevin spitefully, "Just because you were raised in a jail…"
Kevin was quickly cut off by a hand around his mouth, "shut up before you say something even stupider" whispered Brooklyn angrily removing his hand, "There is no need to bring up anyone's past."
"Yeah well I know why you'd be nervous about that Mr I'm-going-to-destroy…"
This time it was Rei's hand that shut him up, "Sorry Brooklyn he's just scared."
Everyone was quiet a minute only to be interrupted by Tyson's loud snores.
"You can really tell the hardened criminals huh?" Miguel whispered to Garland.
Garland nodded and shook his head. "Never before have I been so embarrassed by the company I keep."
"Oh come on guys cheer up will you, we'll get out of this" Max tried cheerily. "We just have to trust that Bryan and Kai will have a plan. I mean they end up in situations like this all the time."
Everyone looked back at Kai and Bryan who were fussing over Max's cape and trying to use it as a shared blanket.
"Oh my god my mum is going to kill me!" Max exclaimed realising that they were screwed.
"Ok fine!" grumbled Kai standing up and throwing Max's cape back, "Fine, I wasn't even involved in you guy's plan, but you know what fine." He walked up to the bars and started banging. "Hey officer I need to make a phone call! I am allowed one right?"
The policeman walked over and conceded letting him out and leading him along the corridor.
"Oh great now we might be screwed." Bryan grumbled trying to pull his waist coat around himself for warmth.
"What's the matter? Now that your boyfriends gone your finally nervous" Rei muttered bitterly turning away.
"Ok are all of you blind or did you see how much Kai had to drink at the party?"
"I saw." confirmed Tala, who had been Kai's appointed minder, "You told me to make sure he got good and drunk so that he would be more of a distraction."
"Well what's more distracting than an orgy" muttered Johnny colouring when everybody looked his way.
"Exactly, we could have stolen the stuff and gone without anyone ever looking away from Kai. But now it means that our one defence and his short, short temper have wondered drunkenly and scantily clad out of the safety of our cell to deal with the pervy police alone."
You could have heard a pin drop and oddly it was the silence that woke Tyson up. He yawned loudly and scratched his straw covered stomach. "What's up? We still in jail?"
"Yeah" whispered Max the laughter gone.
"Man Ian I am going to kill you when we get out of this. Fancy telling Professor Frobisher all our plans." growled Johnny.
"He won the game of cards, there was no money left and he said all he wanted was to know what Bryan was up to" defended Ian. "I couldn't just welsch on him could I?"
"Why the hell were you playing cards with a professor in the first place?" asked Tala confused.
"I always play poker with them, they are the only ones with any money as you guys spend all your on booze."
"Well we wouldn't have had to anymore if the plan had worked" argued Max exasperated. "You totally fucked this up and if there's bail your paying for it."
"Max!" exclaimed Tyson shocked.
"No, Bryan trusted me to get this done and look what happened. All 'cause Ian had to play fucking cards."
"Ok stop it you guys!" ordered Michael as he came up for air, "It doesn't matter what happened now lets all just get over it so that you can stop interrupting me."
Meanwhile in the girls cell…
"Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! I'm in jail!!!! The big house! Behind bars! Hand me an orange jumpsuit I'll be cracking rocks in a chain gang. OH MY GOD!"
SLAP
"Julia that was mean" laughed Mariah "Next time I get to hit her"
Hilary stared in shock.
Boys cell 4o minutes later…
"Ok eye spy double or nothing" smirked Ian, "What do you bet?"
"4 hamburgers" shouted Tyson.
"Anyone else want to get in on the action?" asked Ian eyeing them as potential marks.
"How does he think that he is going to fix eye spy?" asked Rei who had seemingly forgotten their previous argument and was now cuddled happily against Bryan.
Bryan shrugged staring outwards through the cell bars and waiting, "How long does it take to make a fucking phone call?" Bryan complained to himself frowning.
"And then my mother said that 'well I'm moving to America then, see how you like that' and that is how my mum ended up living in America and my dad stayed in Japan." finished Max addressing his bored and half asleep audience of one.
"I'm sorry I asked" Kevin yawned, "I didn't realised that the story would be that long."
"Damn" giggled Tyson impressed as Spencer proved that he could lift both Kenny and Daichi of the ground at once. "You really are strong!"
"Help" squeaked Kenny as Daichi cheered happily and tried to climb around Spencer's broad shoulders.
Michael and Lee finally finished and sated (after a very public display probably caught on tape) were just cuddling and smiling.
Tala, still a little frustrated was rattling the bars of the cell and looking for loose ones. Suddenly he yelped and jumped away from the bars. Several policemen approached the door and began to unlock it.
"You are free to go" said the tallest one, Rei recognised him as the officer that had brought them in.
"Where is our friend?" asked Bryan as the other files out of the cell door. "Kai went about forty minutes ago to make a phone call."
"Your friend has gone to the ladies cell with the sergeant to release your other friends."
Mariah shook her head, ears and tail humming amusedly. Some drunken disorderly women and a couple of cells down were singing, they were rather good. Hilary had long since started to mutedly rock up and down in the corner, a cold sweat on her forehead, a wild look in her eyes.
Matilda and Julia were swapping war stories trying to out do each other. This was their first jail experience and they were both really excited.
Mariah sighed the worst thing about prison was the boredom. Then she heard the voices.
"So are you ever going back to SAA?" asked the voice she didn't recognise.
"There's no point" said a voice she knew to be Kai "I mean I really don't think I have a problem."
"Kai" she called; excited that they might be released and worried that this might be some kind of ill-advised escape attempt. Still if it meant getting some clothes, her tight pink cat suit had been very amusing at the party where her and 'Slutty Tinkerbell' Matilda's jobs were to distract the bartenders. But she had seen enough TV to know she did not want to be wearing something like that in proper women's jail. Bad enough she was already getting looks from the adjacent cell.
Kai's appearance did little to allay her fears. As though his bottom half was still dressed native his top half was covered in an extremely loose policeman's shirt, badge and all. He was also swinging a nightstick and wearing a uniform cap.
"Kai?" she asked confused.
"Hey Mariah, time to go"
The other girls stood up and walked over "Is this legal?" asked Hilary not buying it all.
"Sure, now come on the guys are getting released too and Bryan is probably freaking out."
"Huh?" asked Mariah already scrambling to be released.
"Don't worry just follow my good friend sergeant Brown."
"Sergeant Brown," Matilda whispered half giggling "Look at Kai, I'm guessing all the rumours I heard are true."
"What his costume at the party didn't tip you off to that first?" joked Julia.
Bryan was practically twitching, there was no sign of Kai. He hated to be separated from the boy when they were in trouble. Back in the Abbey…
His thoughts were broken off by Rei's glare "What's wrong with you?" he muttered "Just calm down."
Bryan sighed, Tala looked a bit twitchy too and Spencer (Ian always looked twitchy.) Bryan looked back at Rei, non Abbey members would never understand. That if a member of the group was missing nothing good could come of it. (Abbey punishment mentality)
Finally Kai and the girls arrived, the boys took one look at Kai and burst out laughing. Bryan pushed past them all to stand beside his friend. Rei tried to convince himself that Bryan was just suffering a bout of post stoner paranoia (he hadn't rolled one all night) and wasn't just that overly concerned about their friend.
After a while Sergeant Brown asked for his spare shirt back.
"But I'm cold."
"Kai."
"Can I keep the hat?"
"No."
"The nightstick?"
"No."
"The handcuffs?"
"Fine you can keep the handcuffs" Kai smirked and handed back the shirt and hat. "They could come in handy."
"Hey if you ever decide to go back" the sergeant called over his shoulder as he left.
"I'll see you there." finished Kai shivering now that he was once again topless.
Max laughed and threw his cape at Kai "What was all that about?" he asked.
"Remember that guy from the SAA closet?"
"SAA?" whispered Mariah confused.
"Sex Addicts Anonymous" Rei supplied helpfully still a bit miffed.
Mariah giggled Hilary who was standing nearby nearly choked.
"The one who you…" Bryan hinted.
"Yep, that was him."
"Is that how he got us out?" Michael asked no one I particular.
"Nope I jut called my lawyers, between them and the very reasonable sergeant Brown, our names were cleared."
"Even though they were as dirty as mud." finished Spencer laughing a little.
"Lets get back before we get arrested for loitering" Lee complained.
As they walked away Rei darted his eyes back and forth between Bryan and Kai suddenly very aware of how close they were walking.