Note; I went to Devon once when I was really young (that is probably why it sounds sketchy) I picked the place at Random so no one take offence. This is rushed and crap but I had a mental image that I still can't articulate. Sorry.

Chapter 17 WTF!

If someone had warned Bryan that a life of drink and class C drugs would leave him waking up early one…he assumed Sunday morning with a goat chewing his hair he might have reconsidered his entire life plan. As it was he was so surprised that it took him several minutes of gaping open mouthed before he even attempted to shoo the goat away. Eventually it bleated loudly and cantered off taking a mouthful of lavender hair with it.

If Bryan'd had his wits about him he would be worrying about his now lopsided haircut. Luckily he was more worried about the fact that a combination of the sunlight on that fair February morn and his hangover had all but blinded him. He shivered, the sun may've been out but it was still freezing and he was soaked in what he hoped was the early morning dew.

It took him fifteen minutes to sit up and another five to stand, he vaguely realised that he was not wearing his own clothes.

He was half way across the field when he realised that he was face to face with a scarecrow wearing his favourite Family Guy T-shirt.

"Toto I don't think we're in London anymore." Then it hit him. "And where the fuck are Kai and Tala?"

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Tala was casually awoken by the fact that his bed was moving, after a brief investigation using the back of his head and hands he deduced that his bed was made of metal and covered in plastic crates. When he opened his eyes he noticed said crates were full of bottles.

His oddly girlish scream made another appearance.

An old man in an apron, jacket and white hat popped his head around and smiled congenially. "Up then? I was just driving you to the police station to see what they could make of you, you're certainly not from round here."

"Police?" squeaked Tala, "Am I in trouble?"

"No, no calm down. I was just going to see if they could identify you and give you somewhere to sleep it off. I was young once I know how it is."

Tala smiled weakly, "My friends…were they?"

"Sorry m'boy you were alone. My guess? I bet they're sleeping somewhere in town."

"And where am I?" asked Tala looking around and cringing. He hated the countryside.

"Town of county?"

"County."

"Devon"

"Oh Devon…DEVON!" Tala screeched.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Kai was used to having his sleep disturbed, if he was honest these days it was a rare thing for him to wake up alone. "Stop it Bryan" he mumbled swatting the hand away and snuggling further into the warmth of the…cushions? The hand was back "Bryan stop it" he ordered.

He heard a girlish giggle.

A woman? It had been a while since he'd had a woman.

"Daisy leave him alone" a stern older female voice ordered.

TWO WOMEN? So even when he was doing women he did them in bulk?

"But mum I was making him pretty."

Mum? Mum? Oh wow that was messed up even for him. Wait…that voice sounded young and what the hell did she mean making him pretty and come to think of it was that cheap perfume and powder he smelled? Kai bolted upright.

"Yay he's awake!"

Kai opened his eyes to see a girl no older than six dressed in a school uniform and holding a pink glittery make-up bag. Behind her stood an older lady (maybe in her thirties) holding what Kai assumed was the girls school bag and smiling kindly.

"Where am I?" Kai asked slowly his head pounding and his mouth gaping in disbelief.

"Oh dear. Well my husband found you asleep on our lawn and my son told me that you were a famous Beyblader and convinced us to take you in to sleep. I was a bit worried but as my mother always said hospitality is key." She smiled maternally.

"Thank you." said Kai bowing slightly in confused fashion, "Your accent…I hope you don't mind me asking but where am I?"

"Devon."

"Oh where is that?"

"Home."

"Riiight…" Kai stood up and stretched taking in his reflection in the mirror above the mantelpiece "One last thing. The make-up?" Pink lipstick, purple sparkling eye-shadow, a badly drawn star on his cheek and a Barbie hairclip.

"Well my daughter is quite artistic."

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Bryan had wrestled his clothes from the scarecrow and was doing his best to ignore the itchy straw sticking out of the armholes. He had been walking ten minutes by what was the only tarmac road he could find and had not been passed by a single car.

Finally civilisation loomed on the horizon.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Tala would never admit it to anyone but he was enjoying himself. He was helping to deliver the milk sucking on his very own bottle and even getting to wear that hat. Seth, the old milkman was happy to share stories of his wild misspent youth and Tala was too polite to inform the man that he had lived worse stories than that in the last week.

It was like having a grandfather and it was nice. It was then that they passed a very rough looking Bryan.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Kai's hair was in bunches, his make-up even thicker and he was being treated to a fully fried breakfast. Life was good even if he had travelled a large chunk of the country and was missing at least two days.

After everything had been finished and he had helped washing up (no need to be rude) he pulled out his mobile and dialled Tala.

One milk joyride and a long train ride late and the boys were home. Rested and feeling more content than they had in years. That night they didn't go out, in fact they were in for the rest of the month. Kai sent the family that had helped him, the milkman and the farmer whose scarecrow that Bryan had wrecked a million each and bought a small cottage just outside of town.