A/N: Disclaimer: Refer back to Chapter 1.
WARNING: ANGST, DRAMA FLUFF, WAFF, SUGGESTIVE THEMES
Chapter 8: Pit of the Abyss
Two months had passed by like a speeding train. Two months had passed and the two had continued to let their friendship blossom.
It had been the end of another stressful month and the beginning of another one. Argilla chuckled; there they were once more, at their favorite and frequented coffee shop.
She was excited.
She had something to tell her special friend and couldn't wait to hear his opinion about it.
It had been the weekend it had been the perfect time for a casual date.
Once they had settled onto their comfortable cushions did Serph smile at her, "So, what's this emergency that you couldn't wait to tell me about?" he asked.
Argilla's eyes widened and so did her smile until she bared her teeth, "Serph…I have a boyfriend!"
The smile that had graced his lips smiled crumbled and there he struggled to keep up his calm exterior.
"Really…?" he asked with a tight smile while the organs within his body seemed to fall apart, "S-since when?" he asked; his whole body shivering slightly, his lips shaking.
Argilla, oblivious to the state that her companion had been at, giggled and leaned forward slightly, "Not long…"
Serph said nothing and continued to hold his tight smile, all the while giving it his all not to cringe.
"Who's the lucky guy…?" he asked her calmly, his voice cracking slightly…that was apparently not noticed by the girl before him…
"Oh! You know him! He's the guy that works for the Premium Brands at the showroom. His name is Heat O'Brien…!" she responded in a sing-song voice, dripping with sentiment that the silver-haired man found difficult to digest.
Serph frowned at what she had said. Yes, she had mentioned him to her…on numerous occasions…But never did he meet this man.
He had seen him, yes…but that was from afar.
"Yea, you never met him…But, I promise, soon I'll arrange something so that you guys could meet! It'll be great!" she squealed with glee.
It was then that she noticed the slight disappointment in Serph's face, "Serph? What's wrong? You don't like him?" she asked; nervous for his reply.
"It's not like that." he lied, "After all, what's not to like…?" he asked.
'Yea. What's not to like…?' he asked bitterly, 'Heat's tall…the same age as her, perhaps pleasing to the female eyes, the same ethnic background and a good paying job.'
"Then what's wrong?" Argilla asked, touching his arm.
Serph shrugged her off, and shook his head before speaking, "But what about…intra-office dating?"
Argilla smiled weakly at that, "Yea. I told you about that little issue, didn't I? About my dad jumping to conclusions about Heat and I? He said that it was unethical to date someone from the same company or from the same showroom."
Serph nodded; so what? Wasn't she doing that now?
"But that was before! Heat and I didn't date when we were at the showroom together…!" she told him, "We dated only after I shifted my showroom! Remember?" she asked.
Serph blinked; right. Argilla did change the showroom that she was handling. Mortimer had shifted her right after she had completed her primary and secondary training.
And so, Argilla was comfortably within her limits to continue and pursue a relationship with this Heat person…
And for some reason, that was what bothered him.
He felt himself groan as his stomach seemed to have tied itself in a knot…His eyesight seemed to blur as Argilla continued on and on about her exciting budding relationship. She had told him more often than not how adverse she had been to the idea of relationships and dating…
However, he knew and believed that it had been a mere phase in a young woman's life. After all, Argilla had just graduated from college with fresh ideals and acute principles. She had just started her career and a long goal had been set for her…From that perspective, of course the prospect of marriage, children and settling down would be offsetting and according to her terminologies, plain creepy.
And now, now that she had informed him that she had indeed found someone, he knew that his earlier presumption to be correct and accurate…
But for some reason, a pang of pain seemed to erode his chest at that notion.
And what was that notion…?
The thought of her belonging to someone else…
But why was that so…?
He then shook his head; he was thinking funny thoughts again!
Why would he care whoever she dated…?
'Who ever would kiss her or hold her…is none of my concern…' he told himself. But this time, he knew it to be a lie…
And this fact, this little piece of admittance, he allowed himself to indulge upon.
It was plain and simple. He didn't want her to be with Heat. And when asked as to why, he just…
'I just don't know.'
"I'm glad that you're happy Argilla." he told her, masking all the hurt that he had been feeling all those countless seconds as he continued to listen to her heartfelt stories, "So, when will I meet this guy?"
Argilla felt a wave of relief overwhelm her. And there she was, half nervous that her friend would disapprove. She knew that Heat was a good person. He had a nice and clean background, he was God-fearing, well principled, conservative but at the same time today's man and was…well, he was financially stable and had above-average appearance.
What was there not to like?
And the best thing was that…the same bloodline of their ancestors flowed through his veins as well.
'I don't have to worry about religious and cultural differences.' she told herself. Sure, Heat was having two different cultures, but he wouldn't be estranged to her culture as he had that as well. And religion was something that could be handled. Although Heat followed the same religion as Serph, Heat had been opened to the influences of his mother and thus, was comfortable and at ease at his mother's and Argilla's religion as well.
"Don't worry Serph! I'll set up some time! I hope that you'll be free by the next weekend?" she asked hopefully, leaning forward slightly expectantly.
"Erm…I don't think so Argilla. Maybe after the month end."
Serph knew that he was lying. The month would only be hectic after the first fortnight had passed. And it had only been the first week.
He just…
He just didn't deem himself to be ready to meet this "boyfriend" of hers.
He knew that it was childish and could even be said as selfish but he reasoned that this was what his heart dictated. He didn't want to see this other male…and so, he wouldn't. At least, not until he had been ready to.
And for him, the next week over would be too soon.
"But-but-but!" Argilla protested, eyes widened.
Serph shook his head and cut her off, "This month's first sets are really pouring in. And with some of the other RBEs on leave, the workload and targets would be skyrocketing. Especially for us." he told her, the "us" pertaining to the processors.
Argilla frowned and whined, "Oooohhhh…And I was looking forward to letting you guys meet!"
Serph smiled warily at her, "Don't worry. Next month, I'll be able to see this guy of yours."
Argilla smiled at that, "You better!"
xxxx
He never did.
Another month had passed.
That so-called month end had never come to pass…and it would seem that neither noticed. On one hand, the woman had been too pre-occupied with her targets and performance to recall such a promise…while the other male had simply blocked that memory from the most inner folds of his mind.
Once more, the two were within Serph's car, having settled for the fact that they both deemed their friendship and their conversations to be too private for the public eye. Hence, the two preferred to have their rendezvous points in places that they thought their officemates and colleagues didn't go to.
"I saw Harley last weekend…"
Serph blinked as he looked at Argilla's saddened and disappointed face. Why did she wear such a face?
They had talked and conversed about Harley too many a time and he had gathered right from day one that she had been fond of the older man.
And if that theory had held water, why did it suddenly change…?
"Argilla?" he asked, concerned, worry looming over his countenance like a wraith, "What happened? Did you and Harley have a fight…?"
Argilla turned to face her silver-haired confidante and immediately shook her head, "A fight…?" she repeated, "No."
"Then what is it…?" he asked gently, urging her on.
"He kissed me."
Serph froze.
What?
"What…?" he asked.
He couldn't be right in what he thought he had heard. Right…?
'I mean…It's impossible. Harley Waddarah isn't that sort of guy. He just…He just isn't…!' he screamed within.
However, as he gazed deeply into the eyes of his friend, he knew that she spoke no farce. She gazed at him desperately, pleading with him so that he may believe her…
"What happened…?" he asked slowly, leaning towards her seated form slightly, his eyes boring into hers.
Argilla sighed as she gazed at the floor instead, and spoke gently, "It had been last weekend. I told you before right…? That he and I go out for the evening…you know, for a cup of coffee and a little chat, right…?"
He nodded but said nothing.
Yes; she did tell him of such meetings…
"Go on." he told her, giving her a sincere smile.
"He told me that he missed me and all that…" she told him sadly, smiling every now and then, "And I told him that I felt the same. And then…I hugged him. But when I wanted to pull away…he wouldn't let go."
"And that's…when it happened." she concluded with a heavy sigh, closing her eyes.
Serph was speechless. He had a thousand profanities to shout and scream, but not one syllable left his mouth.
Argilla furrowed her eyebrows together. Serph had been the first person that she had told. Even Heat didn't know of what had transpired between herself and Harley.
"It just…well, it didn't seem that he would be that sort of person…But-!" she exclaimed, "I'm not mad at him Serph. It's just that, he told me that he did feel…something for me. That was why he did it. He wasn't trying to pull a fast one on me. Really." she told him with a smile.
Serph could feel his insides wanting to burst in fury.
'He wasn't trying to pull a fast one…?' he internally repeated, 'Yea right…That…that pervert…!' He was angry. No; that was an understatement. Argilla was an oddball and a spoiled brat…She was but a child in comparison to a seasoned man of the world such as Harley…
No.
Harley wasn't trying to pull a fast one on her. It had been worse than that in his eyes.
'He took advantage of her.' Serph thought, clenching his hands into fists, trying his best not to shout and yell in frustration.
"He said that he just couldn't help himself. You know?" she asked, her eyes once more digging into his, praying that he believed her. "He said that he didn't know how it happened either. But he just felt…funny whenever I was around him."
"Argilla." Serph spoke firmly, his eyes steely and cold, "I know that I don't have any right to…to tell you whom you should and shouldn't see…But please, please," he begged, now holding both of her hands in his, "please stay away from Harley."
Argilla was confused. It was just a kiss. It was intense; yes. It was a shock for her; yes. But it wasn't such an apocalyptic scenario wherein she shouldn't see her ex-trainer any longer.
"But why…?"
The sound of Argilla's ever soft and innocent query, in that ignorant tone made the young man sigh.
When will the girl ever grow up…?
Didn't she know that there were bad and evil people in the world…? People who would take advantage of others for their gain…? People who would sooner sell their own mothers if the prices were right…?
"Argilla, I know that it's not my position to say anything on the matter…But, as a friend, if you ever considered me as a friend, you'd listen to what I have to say."
Argilla raised an eyebrow; she was as confused and perplexed as ever. What could be so bad about Harley…?
She said nothing and nodded, waiting for Serph to continue.
"Harley shouldn't have said those things to you Argilla." he told her, clutching her hands into his tightly, "Harley is already married."
Argilla's heart suddenly stopped and she gasped.
"W-what…?" she stammered with widened eyes.
Serph nodded, "He's already married. So please…Please don't see him anymore."
Seeing that the young woman before him had been stupefied with shock and blind astonishment, the silver-haired man looked at her with sympathy and placed a hand on her shoulder, "I don't want to see you hurt…or worse."
At those last two words, Argilla's eyes flew to Serph's silver orbs.
She knew what he meant. If she continued to see Harley, he would be committing adultery…and she would be branded as the "other woman". She would ruin her name as well as her father's and his reputation. Her career would plummet should word travel around…
She then shook her head; she couldn't believe it.
'He…he didn't tell me that…'
Serph shook his head along with her as he removed his hand from her shoulder, "No. He didn't. But…It's not that he was…trying to harm you Argilla."
Argilla's eyes once more flew to Serph's, asking him to explain himself.
Serph sighed and smiled sadly. There wasn't any point in hiding it any longer.
"I…think that he does feel something for you." he explained, "But…that still doesn't justify why he did what he did."
"What…?" Argilla asked; all the more confused.
Serph continued to smile ruefully at her. She was still naïve, wasn't she?
"You're…you're an easy person to get along with Argilla. You have many attributes in you that Harley could relate to; things that you and he could share…That's why he felt what he felt. But, just because you feel what you feel doesn't mean that you should just do what you feel like doing. It's not…correct."
Argilla's eyes sparkled as she probed Serph's eyes. There was just something in the way that he said his previous statement that made the girl feel that something was going on…
And she could only wonder…
'Are you…thinking and feeling from your own personal experience Serph…?' she thought sadly.
"Do you understand what I just asked of you Argilla?" asked the aforementioned man, rousing the pink-haired girl from her thoughts.
This time, she concentrated.
She nodded in concurrence, "I understand."
Yes. There were things in life that one shouldn't just do just because he or she felt like it. Often, people must control their urges in order to live in harmony with others.
What Harley had done was something that was inconceivable.
He had a wife and a family to attend to. Even if he had indeed felt something for the pink-haired woman, didn't mean that he should act upon it.
Love and affection, although they were thought to be absolute and eternal, did also adhere to norms, rules and upon the law of the land.
There were correct and wrong forms of love and affection…
And Serph knew that what Harley felt was incorrect.
Argilla stared at the silver-haired man before her with sympathetic eyes. There he was, staring at the dashboard with a hardened expression. His jaw was locked and his lips were pursed backwards…
He was angry wasn't he?
Argilla blinked; why was it that Serph was more upset about it than she was…?
She stared from his face and took closer notice upon his silver orbs and there she admitted her mistake. Her facial expression gave way from being confused to being understanding.
No; he wasn't angry…
He looked…
'Hurt…' she thought, letting the word echo endlessly within her mind.
But why…?
"Serph…?" she asked softly, putting a petite hand on his shoulder, "What's wrong? Are you angry with me?"
Serph smiled bitterly and closed his eyes momentarily before turning around to face her and address her presented query.
"I'm not angry." he told her with a smile.
Argilla frowned. He was trying to make her believe that lie again wasn't he? In all of the months that they had been friends she had been able to understand him far better than people and supposed friends who had known him for years.
Yes; he had admitted this to her in more than one occasion.
And in fact, he had commended her for being the only person in his life to be able to read him the way she did.
He had told her several times how amazed he had been that she seemed to know him better than he knew himself…
And at that point in time and space, Argilla didn't appreciate the fact that he was hiding from her. She knew that he had been acting peculiar for the last few months and she had taken a small note of that. However, never did she receive the powerful and undeniable compulsion to confront him about it.
It wasn't that she didn't want to…!
Of course she did.
He was a friend after all! What friend wouldn't want to know what ailed his or her companion…? And that was the case with the two of them.
Sure they were close to one another but it had been life's situations that kept the girl from confronting the young man about his concerns. They hardly had time for one another as their work kept getting on their way. And whenever they would meet, all thoughts of problems would dissipate as the urge for quick yet substantial conversations would come into play.
And then before either of them would realize it, time had already gone by and again they were within the same rat race they called work.
But now it was different.
She was here with him. They were alone and away from prying eyes. The air was thick and heavy with emotions that she could no longer ignore.
She had an idea of what his problem might be but never did she address it…
However, tonight seemed to be the perfect chance.
"Serph…You were speaking from your experience, weren't you?" she suddenly asked; breaking the thick air within.
Serph's eyes widened in realization of what she meant but said nothing. He smiled within; she was doing it again. Again, she was working her magic on him…How she did it, he still had to know.
She had been the only person in his life who had been able to read him as easily as an open book. She had been the only one who had been able to predict his behavior and explain why did the things he did and said the things he said…
And that moment was no different.
She knew…
Didn't she…?
"What do you mean…?" he asked; still feigning his ignorance.
Argilla wrinkled her nose before crossing her arms in disapproval, "What you said back there; you were talking about yourself weren't you…?" she asked softly, now having their eyes hold one another's gazes.
Serph's breath got caught up in his throat as he again felt himself being probed. He knew not to say…His mouth hung agape, his eyes searching hers; asking her one question.
How.
How did she know…?
"When you told me that there were different forms of love…And how one cannot simply act upon what he wanted." she told him firmly, her eyes filled with confidence and certainty in her words, "You were speaking of yourself, weren't you…?"
He couldn't bear to continue to gaze into her eyes. For if he did, he was afraid that his thus far carefully concealed secret would be revealed…
Serph tore his gaze from her and attended on his car's steering-wheel instead.
"Weren't you…?" she asked once more; having received no response from him.
He sighed and closed his eyes, "Yea…I was."
Argilla smiled weakly and put a hand on his, "There…That wasn't so bad. Right?"
Again, Serph said nothing but mumbled under his breath.
Argilla's smile slowly vanished as she once more saw his peculiar behavior, "You're…you're in love with someone…? There's a girl in your life…?" she asked with mild humor and happiness.
Aa…! Finally her odd mentor and friend was waking up into the world!
Her smile broadened as their eyes met once more. She was right. The answer was there within his silver pools although he continued not to speak.
Serph's heart began to race faster and faster as the seconds continued to tick painfully by. Did she finally divulge his secret…? Did she know of whom she spoke of…? The identity of this mysterious woman…?
He swallowed the lump that had formed within his throat nervously…waiting for the next sentence to leave from her lips…
He wasn't a coward. He wanted to tell her of what he felt…
However…
'It's not that simple…'
Thousands of thoughts rushed to his head. What would she think should she find out…? Would she be happy…? Or disgusted…? Or disappointed…? And what would such a revelation bring as a repercussion and consequence to their solidifying friendship…? Would they break apart…?
'Most likely…' he thought with a heavy sense of nervous and hopeless dread.
"You love her but you haven't told her, have you?" Argilla asked, again her pink orbs being the epitome of the word sadness.
'If you only knew…' Serph thought to himself poignantly.
He shook his head as an answer to her question.
Argilla nodded and pressed onward, "You didn't tell her because you didn't want to involve yourself in a relationship with her because…you feel that it's not right for you to do so, isn't it?"
Serph chuckled bitterly and nodded again, his eyes on the floor mat now, not daring in the least to even take a glimpse of Argilla' eyes. No; he was embarrassed as it was already.
"Why Serph…? Why is it so wrong for you to be with this girl…?" she asked sadly.
Serph sighed but said nothing.
"Wait a second." Argilla spoke wistfully, touching her chin as if in deep thought, "Hm…it is a girl we're talking about here, right…?"
"Shaddap!" laughed Serph.
Argilla joined him in his merrymaking and laughed as well, "Finally! You're laughing again! You were so serious it's enough to make me puke all over your car…! Hahahah!"
"Thanks." he told her with a small smile, "I needed the laugh."
Argilla giggled, "Heheh…Anytime."
A moment later, the laughter had gently come to a halt and again, silence reigned the vehicle. Argilla noticed this and decided to counteract the seemingly seeping disease, and chirped cheerfully, "But that doesn't excuse you from spilling the beans!" she warned mischievously, grinning like an elf.
Serph leaned backwards, towards the windows of the car as he read her naughty facial expression, "Erm…what?"
Argilla's eyes narrowed to naughty slits and her lips' smile broadened so that her pearly white teeth may be revealed, "Who is she Bear?"
"Who is who…?" he asked, feigning innocence.
"The girl. Who is she? And how come you never mentioned her to me?!" she asked, no longer wearing her fox-like grin but now the biggest childish pout that she could muster.
Serph's heart almost melted at the sight of her as he continued to chuckle; she was just too darned cute whenever she would do that…
He didn't know why exactly he found that cute, but he just did. 'That look just suits her; suits her personality…' he thought as he continued to appraise her childish behavior.
"Tell, tell!! Spill, spill!" she chanted over and over, hoping that her nagging spirit would prevail and have Serph's seemingly impregnable wall of secrecy slowly crumble and collapse.
Again, her pleas fell upon deaf ears.
Argilla could've sworn that a vein from her temple had burst as she felt patience completely be drained from her.
"Just tell me Serph!!" she shrieked, banging her tiny fists on the car's seat; tired of the truth or dare game, "Just tell me who she is! I'm not going to tell! Or don't you trust me…?"
There. She told him. That was her last bluffing card. If he didn't take the bait then…
Then, she wouldn't know how to persuade him.
'Well, there is another way…' she thought evilly.
'Cry and cry until he gives up and tells. Hehehehe…'
Serph stared at the woman before him. He had heard every word that was spoken from her lips and saw each and every little move that she had made…
But he understood neither her words nor her actions.
To him, he simply watched…her.
He imagined her in an endless and timeless suspended animation wherein he could watch and marvel at her beauty for all eternity…
"Serph…"
Though he was nearly frozen in his silent admiration for his pink-haired beauty, the soft calling of his name from her pink luscious lips woke him from his reverie.
"Argilla…" he trailed off, now entranced by her deeply gazing eyes.
What was he supposed to do now…?
"Please…tell me…" she whispered.
Serph sighed. A part of him screamed at him to defend himself and tell her that it was none of her business and push her away. But there was another part of him that realized that these feelings, the emotions that he had been harboring for the last few months would no longer allow themselves to be held back…
'There's…no other way.'
There was no other way but forward.
He had to tell her.
He had to tell her now.
'If I don't…'
If he didn't, he feared that…he would just go insane!
"Argilla…" he said again, now reaching for her hand.
Argilla noticed his gesture and reached out as well; a confused expression once more playing on her angelic face, "What's wrong Bear…? Whatever it is, you can tell me." she assured him kindly.
Serph's insides seemed to have tied itself in a tight knot as she uttered her words. How easy it had been for her to say.
But then again, he had also reached the end of the line.
Her eyes were pleading with his now. She was reaching out to him…Asking him not to divulge his secret and weakness…
No.
That was not what she asked for. He knew it; he saw and read it within her eyes.
She wanted to be a part of his life. She wasn't asking for the next piece of gossip or had the desire to know his weakness. No; she wanted his trust. She wanted to be a part of him…
And knowing that, made him smile.
"It's you…" he admitted slowly.
xxxx