A/N: Disclaimer: Refer back to Chapter 1.
WARNING: LIME, DRAMA, ANGST, SENSITIVE POLITICAL and CULTURAL ISSUES. BE WARNED.
Chapter 12: Delve Into Me
Another late night had come. And again, she found herself within their branch office. She looked on blankly. There were no files in her hands that night…
She walked the silent halls with only one objective in mind.
To reach him…
She found him soon, seated upon the same chair that she had first met him…
She stood there, right behind him for what seemed like countless of hours…just simply gazing at him.
He must've been very pre-occupied with his work for he still had to perceive her presence…Her lazy pink eyes wandered from his profile to more specifically, his eyes. They were glued onto the screen and were widened, sheer concentration evident.
She smiled languidly.
She supposed that that was one of the reasons why she admired him.
At thinking of how she admired him, though, let her release an unwanted soft breath.
And that broke the silence.
"Argilla…? What are you doing here at this time of night?"
She looked at him with half-lidded eyes…and gently spoke, "Serph…I choose to be with you."
Serph didn't have time to react for before he could have one coherent thought, he found her lips on his…
Within moments, Serph settled onto the ecstatic feeling that had been born from with his chest and there grasped the woman in front of him firmly, pulling her down to be with him…
She groaned a bit as she felt him becoming eager in their endeavor, surpassing her zeal within moments as he kissed her fully, arduously. She felt herself relax and at ease, her heart fluttering as they danced together.
She reckoned that this really was the way that it was to feel…
To feel herself…letting go of all those conscious things about them…To let the world fade into the distance, to freeze time…
All in that moment, nothing mattered; no one mattered.
She had forgotten it all…
There was no job, no duty…no difference in religion, in culture…
There was no Heat.
It was just Serph…and her.
Argilla opened her eyes as she felt her new lover leave her lips, now settling on her neck. She looked around herself as saw that she had been seated on his lap, her legs on either side of him, his hands around her waist and back, protectively…ensuring that she wouldn't fall.
"Oh…!" she moaned unwontedly, as she found her timid friend to be more…passionate than she could've previously imagined.
She closed her eyes and held him close to her and aided him as he slipped her coat from her shoulders…letting the material grace the floor. She suddenly yelped as she felt him tug roughly at her white cotton polo shirt, widening the opening of her collar, intending to get at the sensitive flesh of her neck…
She didn't resist him.
She squealed as his teeth sank into her skin, his lips suckling the torn flesh…tasting the sweet intoxicating fluid that was her blood.
At that, drunken from the pleasure that she never knew she could feel from any man, her eyes, half-lidded and foggy, let themselves stare at the ceiling, letting the lights blind her; blind her senses and her perception…
Her heart skipped a beat as Serph suddenly stood, his arms still wrapped tightly around her, making her legs encircle his hips and waist.
"W-what are you doing…?" she asked, nervous.
"Shh…Nothing…" he answered, his voice low and husky.
He gently lay her on the floor, nestling himself slowly in between her parted legs as he kissed her zealously still.
His hands meandered all over her body, intent on touching her skin…His fingers, the fingers that he never realized to be nimble and eager, lighted threaded over the material of her clothing, popping all the buttons from her polo shirt, kneading her breasts upon pure instinct.
He knew very well the limits that were set between man and woman.
Although he would admit that he had thus far never had any relationship or experience with women, he felt neither scared nor apprehensive. It was as if he had always known what exactly it was that he was supposed to do; when to touch, where…how…
His body was communicating with hers and she reciprocated.
They were resonating…
Body against body…
Skin on skin…
Flesh for flesh…
He had never before felt such heat…such passion heighten within him…
Never.
He knew that he shouldn't be doing this…
It was against his culture…
Against what he had been taught as a child to be right and just.
But what surprised him was that he simply…didn't care.
He was lost in an endless sea of sensation and emotion with nothing but pure instinct and primordial need guiding him…
His hands left her soft mounds and there meandered downwards, now letting the very edge of his fingertips touch the skin of her bare legs…
He didn't realize on how far his hands had gotten to up until he felt her hands stopping his. His lips, that had by now reached her breasts, left its current undertaking and he opened his eyes so that they may meet hers.
She looked at him with eyes just as murky as his and said his name.
He looked at her with a puzzled expression, "What is it…?"
Her simple words that followed shattered his illusion…
"I think we should stop…"
…It shattered up to the point that he suddenly found himself as Serph the processor once more and not as Serph, her lover.
Without hesitation or any more words, he instantly got off of her and held out his hand for her to take. She didn't refuse his offer…
He turned from her direction as she straightened herself as well as her clothing. He cursed himself as he did so as well, straitening out all the wrinkles in his clothes and his messy hair.
Just what in the hell was he doing…? He was but a moment away from taking full advantage of her…!
He should've known better than to have acted as if he were full of…lust.
"You're not lustful Serph."
He stiffened as he heard that.
He must've spoken out loud.
"You're just…a man." she told him sincerely.
Turning to her, he said nothing and this emboldened the female to proceed, "You may follow your faith and your religion with outmost belief…but you're still just human. You're just like everyone else…Don't ever think that you could be except from sin…" she told him with a hint of a sad face.
His face fell as he watched her turn from him. She felt bad, didn't she?
He took another step towards her and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. She moved not and he spoke, "I'm sorry…I know that it's just human but…I do follow our code of conduct seriously Argilla."
"Then in that case, I'm the one who should be sorry." she retorted, "I didn't mean to tarnish your spotless record." she spat.
He sighed; what was she talking about?
"Argilla," he began, "why are you saying that you should be sorry…? I wanted it as much as you did. I was the one who…did all those things." he said with shame. "I should be the one apologizing to you…"
Argilla turned to face him, "Serph…" she breathed out with a weak smile.
Serph returned her languid smile and took her hand in his, bringing it to his lips where he pecked it gently. With his eyes never leaving hers, he set her hand down once more but never letting it go, "I'm sorry again Argilla. It won't happen again."
She smiled at him.
Although she respected his way, there was a part of her that felt a bit offended. She, as a woman, felt offended. There was a gnawing thought in her mind that perhaps…the reason why he was very keen on preserving their modesty was because…
'He just doesn't find me good enough.'
"Come on Argilla. I'll take you home."
She blinked.
She hadn't even noticed that he had already begun and finished preparing retiring for the night. Without another thought, she took his offered hand and nodded.
She shook her head.
One night of being with him already posed problems…
She wondered, would it continue throughout as well…?
xxxx
A few months had already passed since the two had embarked on a perilous journey that they called their relationship. Both had been happy as they felt the other to complete in themselves what they knew they lacked…
Serph had provided the maturity and the rational mind to the careless girl while Argilla provided the voice of appreciating life and reminding him of what it was to be a child.
The two complemented the other and for that moment, within those days that turned into weeks that turned into months, the two only felt happiness…
A happiness that they both prayed and wished never to cease…
Once more, they found themselves at the mall, just casually taking a stroll.
'A stroll? More like a rush of maddening shopping as if the world was going to end tomorrow…' Serph thought with a sour face as he watched his lover pick out more clothes off the rack and try them on.
There he was, a few feet from her, letting her concentrate on what seemed to her as a life and death decision to make.
He rolled his eyes at that.
He sighed but suddenly stiffened as he realized that he began to loosen his grip on her shopping bag.
He then made a face.
Correction.
One of her shopping bags.
Recovering from his waning grip, he looked to see that thus far, she had already purchased numerous clothing materials, ranging from tops, to skirts, to dresses, shoes, sandals, boots and accessories and had had him carry all of them.
He sighed as his gaze now caught sight of her once more, as she squealed like a little girl as she found a dress that she liked.
Again he made a face.
'Like a little girl…? She is a little girl…' he thought to himself.
There, he continued to watch her and chuckled as he saw that she had accidentally dropped one of the dresses that she was scrutinizing. He chuckled all the more as he looked at the embarrassed facial expression that she was wearing and all the more chuckled still as she tried her best to calm herself and simply slip past that rack, not bothering to pick up what she had dropped.
He supposed that he had better clean up after her, no?
And he proceeded to do just that.
A few minutes later, as they found themselves out of that shop, and unfortunately for him, another shopping bag for him to carry, he couldn't help but smile sheepishly as he looked at her, "You know, you should really be more careful."
She turned to him with a perplexed facial expression, "Eh? What does that mean?"
"I mean…" he began, drawling a bit, "…What I mean is that you shouldn't be so much in a hurry when picking something from the rack. You drop things and make a mess…!" he scolded her.
Argilla frowned and there gave him a most quaint pout, "Ohhh! That's not true! It was an accident!" she protested, "Besides, how many times did you see me doing that in the first place?! Probably once!" she claimed defiantly.
Bored and unimpressed, Serph drawled, "Oh yea? Try at least five times per shop."
Argilla opened her mouth to protest but suddenly froze as she realized that he was indeed correct.
She growled and turned away.
So he was right!
So what!?
It wasn't her fault!
She was a girl…!
And that was an accident! How many times did she have to explain it to him!?
But then again, being the air-headed dork that she knew Serph to be, she supposed that he had been having too much of a premature mental state to comprehend her delicate…and most feminine predisposition…
And so, there was only one thing to tell him in order to settle the argument.
She turned to him and grinned, "Besides, what do I care? You're there to pick them up and put them back, right?" she asked with a wink.
Serph felt blood rush to his face as she looked at him in such a fashion. He was both embarrassed and tongue-tied.
And why wouldn't he be?
She was correct in all accounts.
The two had continued to wander over to the mall, unbeknownst to one another, feeling nothing but apprehension.
Argilla resisted the strong urge that she had suddenly felt creep up her spine as she felt numerous pairs of eyes peering over at her; more specifically at her and her companion.
She frowned ever so slightly.
It wasn't a wonder why.
People from Muladhara had always been hailed as very traditional and as such, were rarely ever seen with people of different countries; most especially never from the opposite sex. Kids and teenagers were understandable; after all, this country, this country of Lokapala had not been their home. Boundaries between locals of that place and the expatriates and their children had always had lines in between them drawn.
Though they, the expatriates, were different in countries of birth, they were all that they had. Locals were people that they rarely socialized with seeing that their faith had been too strict to bypass and exposure was minimal.
Expatriate children studied in a different place than the local children. Their facilities and hospitals had also been different…
And so, expatriates of different countries pooled together…
She frowned again.
But she and Serph were neither kids nor teenagers.
They were adults…
And as such, society could only suspect and speculate the nature of their relationship…
And the backdrop was…?
She gritted her teeth underneath, 'Affairs like these…are frowned upon.'
And that was the naked truth.
Her family and her countrymen would look down upon her. She was dating someone from Muladhara? Why? Couldn't she find anyone else? Did she have to sink so low in the food chain that she had to settle for…for that sort of people? Or perhaps, she was a whore…?
A twinge of pain poked her heart in the last question.
That was another sad and painful fact about her countrymen.
The country of Lokapala was young and virginal. The land had been rich and bountiful in its natural resources that had been untapped by the civilized world for centuries. Expatriates like her father and others from Muladhara and Manipura had all been pioneers that had built this great nation that she and Serph enjoyed and loved today.
Because of the seemingly endless job opportunities, people from all over the world had jumped upon the proverbial bandwagon and had left for Lokapala, in search of a better life.
That was where the distinction lay bare.
Both skilled and unskilled workers came to the country. Both legal and illegal migrants searched for employment. Both dignified and undignified vocation was sought.
Another poke of pain stung her heart.
Every country that came to Lokapala had been a victim of a kind of negative stereotype; in one way or another. It had been a shame that women from her country had been brandished as either domestic helpers…or prostitutes.
Although that was a negative stereotype, it wasn't a fact.
Many women from Svathisthana held high positions and enjoyed quality life…just like the way Argilla did. However, that alone wasn't enough to escape society's cruel scrutiny.
That was the reason, she supposed, why her father had been very strict with her. He had brought her up with nothing but the highest and sternest of ideals. She didn't understand it then, when she had been a child, at why distinctions had been made between different genders, different nationalities…different religions and faiths…
But now, she understood.
The world wasn't pretty; and it preyed upon the naïve and weak-minded. And sadly, most of the victims of human rights violations in Lokapala had greatly been women from her country.
She hissed internally, 'That's what they get from doing nothing but undignified and embarrassing line of work! They have no pride and…and…' she thought angrily, bitterly, powerlessly.
Racism.
Discrimination.
Sexism…
These were all common in Lokapala.
She had been lucky though. Her father and his position, his job, had been able to shield her from such evils of the world…
But now, as she walked with Serph, beside him…she felt naked. She felt eyes boring into her body, speculating, suspecting…
Probably thinking that she was another whore; a parasite…a gold digger.
She clenched her hands into fists.
She stole a glance at Serph; she wondered. Did he feel what she felt? Did he understand…? Did he see those countless of orbs and eyes gazing at them condescendingly…? Mockingly…?
Serph looked everywhere and nowhere, never letting his silver eyes' gaze land anywhere for more than a split second. The reason being that he knew he was being evaluated by the people around them.
Many of the aforesaid people were from his country. Parents and children looked at him and Argilla intently, without words being said.
He scoffed internally at that.
He and Argilla only had to pass for but a second before those nosy people would start their mindless babble and chatter.
He could feel his insides beginning to turn, ever so slightly as their predicament became more apparent to him.
He had never noticed it before.
Argilla and he had always gone out and had dinners in numerous restaurants…
But no sense of malice had always been felt.
But no longer.
Now, it was different.
Before, the pair would stroll at the malls with outmost bold impudence, not caring for what the world thought of them and of what they thought he and Argilla did together…
However, now, all that had change.
And what had brought about such a change…?
Their relationship…
He smiled bitterly.
Before, they had all the confidence to go everywhere they deemed and have as much fun as they saw fit, uncaring on how society brandished their friendship since there was nothing to hide…! Before, they couldn't care any less if their deep bond had been frowned upon because they both knew that there was nothing to be ashamed of…! The people around them could accuse them of having a sexual relationship to which they would just both laugh as there really was nothing going on between them…!
But now…that wasn't the case.
They weren't just friends.
They weren't just colleagues out for a casual stroll.
They weren't just comrades sharing a harmless cup of coffee.
They were something more…
They were lovers.
And that…
That was something that he knew was taboo.
He frowned again.
Difference in culture and nationality wasn't even the half of it.
Argilla had a different code of faith.
That was where the great divide lay.
That was the reason why he felt such malevolent stares. That was why he felt nothing but condescension…That was why he felt…shame.
He sighed.
That was the bottom line. That was what he felt. People around him stared at him as if to tell him that he dared shame their culture and faith as he lay with a woman of low caliber…
At that point, he felt himself shrinking…and the world towering dominantly above him…
xxxx
A/N: It is not my intention to offend anyone with the sensitive material within. Please note that this fic has been written in accordance to the personal experiences of my dear friend, who lives in such an environment.