Disclaimer: I don't own the Underland Chronicles. Get over it.
A/N- You guys hate me. It's taken me forever to respond. Reasons being to many to state.
–shrinks- But anyways, I hope you like this.
Welcome To Underland Daily! Join the Fun! Please welcome…Twitchtip!
Reporter: "So… Twitchtip… why were you living in the Dead Lands all alone without any family?"
Twitchtip: "Do you want me to rip your head off?"
Reporter: "I don't think so…"
Twitchtip looks for Ripred.
Twitchtip: "Hey Ripred! You're manager, right?"
Ripred: "Unfortunately."
Twitchtip: "Good. Get another Reporter. This one sucks."
Reporter: "Hey!"
Twitchtip looks at Reporter like she's an inferior being.
Reporter slumps in response.
Reporter: "I'm not that bad…Ask the others. Even Luxa lived through me…"
Twitchtip acquires a curious and sarcastic look.
Twitchtip: "I should ask her how…"
Reporter glares.
Audience grins.
Reporter: "Okay, that's it. You're dead!"
Reporter jumps at Twitchtip.
Twitchtip bites the leg of Reporter, hard.
The next hour involves sirens and stretchers, headed straight for the hospital.
Triumphantly, every victim of the Reporter's interviews punches the air with their fists. Twitchtip now looks satisfied with her work, and sits down happily.
Ripred comes back.
Ripred: "Ugh…Twitchtip… Do you know how long it takes to get someone from the Overland? 1 hour! I could have spent that killing crawlers or manipulating my minions!"
Crowd looks at Ripred with raised eyebrows.
Ripred: "Don't ask."
Twitchtip: "Doesn't matter. Hey you, read the Reporter's questions and get on with it. …Please?"
Lizzie sits in chair and looks around. Then she clears her throat. She smirks.
Lizzie: "You and Ripred don't really have any connection besides that fact that you met up with him in the Dead Lands…right?"
Ripred and Twitchtip: "What the hell?!"
Lizzie raises her eyebrow at Ripred.
Lizzie: "Ripred, what did I tell you about swearing in public?"
Ripred: "I can't believe I'm saying this… Fine."
Ripred sighs, then says: "Not to do it."
Lizzie: "Exactly."
Spectators grin at Ripred's reaction.
Lizzie directs her attention to Twitchtip again.
Lizzie: "Twitchtip, you need to answer the question."
Lizzie bursts out laughing.
Twitchtip is sitting stiffly and looks guilty.
Lizzie: "And this, people, is why you DON'T come on national television."
All of the Reporter's victims: "WHAT?!"
Lizzie grins.
Lizzie: "Oops. Did I actually say that? Well, that might be a slight problem…"
Ripred and Twitchtip groan.
Lizzie: "See everyone? They even groan in unison!"
Twitchtip: "I can't believe I'm asking this, but… Can you do the next question?"
Crowd looks astonished.
Lizzie: "I suppose. But you won't like this one any more."
Twitchtip glares and slumps.
Lizzie: "So… the next question is 'Why didn't you know what the whirlpool was?'"
Twitchtip: "Are the people who make the questions calling me idiotic?!"
Lizzie: "Umm…yeah."
Ripred sits back and grabs popcorn.
Twitchtip: "Fine. Just fine. I had never smelled a whirlpool before. Moving on."
Lizzie: "Oo-kaay then."
Lizzie looks at Ripred, who has been frozen in mid-air because of Twitchtip's sophisticated answer.
Lizzie: "Ripred? How off-topic does the Reporter usually get?"
Ripred comes back to reality.
Ripred: "Uh… you don't want to know. Last episode was horrible; the Reporter and the Bane…ugh. It was insane. Do you have any cake, by the way. The quality of shrimp in cream sauce around here is dreadful. Thanks."
Lizzie: "Umm…sure. Wait, I can't get it. Go get one of your minions to do it. Pifft."
Ripred: "Okay, fine. They're lazy, but fine."
Twitchtip decides to butt in.
Twitchtip: "Why the hell are we still talking about this crap? Get done with the questions. How many more?"
Lizzie: "I think we've done have."
Twitchtip: "Damn. Get the rest done."
Lizzie: "Do I have to teach you the same lesson I taught Ripred. He nearly went insane…"
Twitchtip: "I can see why."
Lizzie huffs.
Audience is surprised someone managed to belittle Lizzie.
Lizzie: "You wanted the next question? It's odd… Submitted by some random person that read this on a site called … It says 'What is something you can smell on me that other rats can't?'"
Twitchtip: "That you're an idiot."
Lizzie: "Umm…Well, that was polite. I'm a Code Breaker."
Lizzie mutters: "I'm turning into Ripred…"
Ripred: "Good job. You're learning.
Lizzie directs her attention to the scarred rat.
Lizzie: "Did your underling get you the cake?"
Ripred: "Yeah…though he wasn't happy about getting up. I must say, Overlanders can be so clueless."
Lizzie: "Ripred, I'm an Overlander."
As expected, people start betting on who will win the verbal fight silently, on pads.
Ripred: "Yep, I know. I'm a sardonic rat that likes shrimp in cream sauce. Any other comments?"
Lizzie shakes her head.
Twitchtip: "Bring on the next question."
Lizzie: "I'll bunch up the last ones. First, 'Do you ever wish you weren't a scent seer?' Second, oh, uh, no, I sort of asked that already…"
Twitchtip: "Hell yeah to the first one."
Lizzie: "Hey! I have another question! Twitchtip, are you ready for The Challenge?"
Twitchtip: "What the hell is 'The Challenge?'"
Lizzie: "Stop using bad words… and The Challenge is just a thing where underweight and unsocial people go to become, well, regular-sized and social. I was sent there…"
Twitchtip laughs, then says: "No."
Water starts pouring from roof.
Ripred: "Well that was random."
Spectators glare at the plumbers above.
Twitchtip glances at Ripred.
Lizzie takes out a camera quietly.
The two rats head backstage. Lizzie follows.
Crow hears 'Click! Click!'
Lizzie comes out and says: "Well, that was fun."
Reporter strolls in.
Reporter: "So…what'd I miss?"
A/N- This sucks. Bad. Be happy I updated. Crap… Now you're all mad that my worst one was Twitchtip, the most pwnful character EVAH!