Disclaimer: I do not own Inu-Yasha or any of its characters. This story is for entertainment purposes only.
A/N: Long time, no see, huh? Sorry about that. I could give you a mile long list of excuses, but I won't because you don't want to hear about them. I finally graduated from high school, which was the major time consumer. I got out a few weeks ago, but I've been plagued with writer's block. Fortunately, I had a breakthrough this morning and couldn't stop writing. I think I know where the next few chapters are headed, but who knows? This story has kind of taken a life of its own. I think this will end up being ten chapters, but I'm not going to guarantee that. We'll see. Enjoy the chapter and please review when you're done! Thanks!
Chapter 6: The Night
Kagome prayed more than was normal for a girl of her age. Ever since she had met Inu-Yasha on her fifteenth birthday, she'd become a lot more interested in this activity. Every night, she silently prayed that Inu-Yasha would find it in his heart to love her. She prayed to every god she'd ever known in the hopes that one of these possible deities would take pity on her.
Kagome couldn't fight her feelings. She and Inu-Yasha were so very different. They were an anachronism. They never should have met. He should have become a human, married Kikyo, and died centuries before her birth. But the idea of Inu-Yasha dying, of never having met him, was physically painful. She believed, somewhere deep in her heart, that no matter when or where, her destiny and Inu-Yasha's were intertwined. Long after Kagome was dead, she had the feeling that her reincarnation would somehow find Inu-Yasha's.
Poor girl… She thought. She doesn't have a chance.
It seemed like no one who possessed Kagome's soul really had a chance to be with Inu-Yasha in every meaning of that word. Their time together was limited, always cut short by outside circumstances.
He was never meant for me… We never should have met… I know that, but why does it hurt so much?
She stared at him. He was sitting across the room, as far from her as possible. It looked like they were back to square one. She still remembered the awkwardness that surrounded their early travels together. She'd thought that they were past that at this point, but judging by the half-demon who looked like he'd rather die than come near her, she was mistaken.
"It's funny, isn't it?" She asked him, breaking the room's silence.
"What?" He looked at her in irritation.
"In the beginning, we traveled by ourselves. We didn't have Shippo, Miroku, or Sango. It was just us. So what makes this so different?"
Inu-Yasha looked at her as though she had lost her mind.
"I'd say this is very different!" He argued, his face turning an interesting shade of red.
"How so?"
"Those stinkin' perverts think we're gonna do things in here that we'd never consider doing!"
Ouch… Kagome mentally winced. Was she that unattractive?
"It's not like it's a big deal…" she began.
"WHAT?!" He looked at her like he had when she'd broken the jewel into an infinite number of shards on a day that seemed so long ago now.
"In my time, it's not that uncommon." She was blushing too. She wasn't sure why she'd brought this up and was desperately wishing he'd drop it.
"I mean, it's between the guy and the girl, right? It's really no one else's business."
He kept giving her that strange look. It was a mixture of anger, anxiety, and fear?
"Are you saying that girls in your skool would do that with guys like Hobo?"
"His name's Hojo, and I don't know! I'm just saying that it's not as taboo in my era. I'm not saying that everybody's doing it. I'm not." She froze in embarrassment.
Why were they still talking about this? She really had no sexual experience. Heck, she'd barely had any romantic experience. Her first and only kiss was when she'd kissed Inu-Yasha in Kaguya's castle to save his soul. He'd promptly announced that she'd come on to him and they'd never talked about it since. It was depressing, really, that her first kiss, something that was supposed to be so memorable and special, had been reduced to a humiliating rejection. Then again, what was she worrying about? Inu-Yasha was the biggest prude she'd ever met… Not like that was always a bad thing, but he was just as embarrassed as she was. If Inu-Yasha wasn't so shy about such matters, she doubted that her mother would be so agreeable to her traveling, at times unchaperoned, with a very attractive, half-demon, teenage boy that she had romantic feelings for. Mrs. Higurashi might be pretty open-minded, letting her daughter travel around with a bunch of medieval misfits, fighting demons, and worst of all, skipping school, but she probably wouldn't approve of her teenage daughter getting intimate with Inu-Yasha, cute dog ears or not.
"I'm glad," he softly replied.
"Hm? About what?"
"I'm glad… that you don't do that." He was no longer facing her, but she could tell he wanted to jump off a cliff at that point.
"Uh… Thanks?"
"You're welcome." He mumbled. Wow this was awkward.
"I'm sorry, Inu-Yasha."
"Why?" He asked, more confused than ever.
"I know that you're uncomfortable being alone in this room with me."
"It's not so bad…" He replied, sensing that she'd be crying within minutes if he didn't console her.
"Hell, imagine how Sango's doing with that stupid monk. We're lucky in comparison."
"And we're friends, right? This shouldn't be so awkward."
"You're right. It shouldn't be. Who cares what that stupid innkeeper thinks?"
"Yeah, who cares? Actually, this is pretty funny!"
"This is pretty funny!" They laughed loudly for a few moments, then suddenly stopped, looking away from each other.
"We're almost never alone like this, are we? Even when it felt like we were, really, Shippo or Myoga or Miroku were there. I just keep thinking of that time in the temple, when the priest was revealed to be a demon and bit you. That was the first night I saw you change from a half-demon into a human. We used the Tetsusaiga to create a barrier. You were so weak from the poison. Myouga sucked a lot of it out of you. Eventually, Shippo and Myouga fell asleep. It was just you and me. I thought you were going to die. I don't think I slept a single wink that night. I was so afraid that I'd lose you. I feared that if I looked away, you'd vanish."
"I'm not going anywhere, Kagome." He tried to comfort her, although he felt that he was failing miserably at this endeavor. She smiled at him and he could see that her eyes were shining with tears. He got up, cautiously treading across the room, sitting down beside her. He wrapped his arms around her, crushing her to his chest.
"I promise." He whispered, much more tenderly than she'd ever expected from him.
"Thanks."
Who'd have thought that Inu-Yasha could be such a softy? He puts on a brave front, but he's more emotional than he gives himself credit for. I guess that's why I love him… Now if only he knew, it could always be like this.
Or you could scare him away with your confessions of undying love… Her inner voice taunted her.
But he could feel the same way… She speculated meekly.
Yeah right! He's hung-up on that dead chick, Kikyo. He doesn't care about you. He's just nice to you to ease his guilty conscience.
That's not true!
Like he could ever love you! You'll never be as brave or as smart or as beautiful as Kikyo was! So why do you keep trying to steal him away from her?
That's not fair… I'm not trying to steal him away from anyone. Kikyo's dead!
And yet he still likes her better than you… Pretty pathetic, Kagome.
Shut up!
Pretty pathetic, Kagome. Pretty pathetic, Kagome. Pretty pathetic, Kagome. Pretty pathetic, Kagome. Pretty pathetic, Kagome. Pretty-
"STOP!" She cried, shaking her head.
"What's wrong?" Inu-Yasha was concerned by the distressed look on her face.
"It's nothing. Don't worry about it. I just have a lot on my mind."
"Well it must be something. Why won't you tell me?"
"Because it's none of your concern."
"I'm making it my concern!"
"Well you really don't need to!"
"Well I wanna!"
"Why won't you just leave me alone?"
"Why won't you just tell me what the hell's wrong with you?"
"Why don't you SIT!"
"AAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" He was hammered into the hard wooden floor.
Downstairs, the innkeeper and his family below were startled by the loud noise. He looked up and saw the ceiling rattling as an unearthly thud echoed through the building.
"They're newlyweds." He explained to his mother and sister. They nodded, as though that explained everything, and went back to what they were doing.
"But there's no harm in asking them to keep it down a little." He headed upstairs and upon reaching their door, knocked. When no one answered, he opened the door to a most unwelcome sight. Lady Kagome's husband was on top of her. They both looked very impassioned and he felt rude to have interrupted.
"I'm sorry to disturb you, but could you try to keep it down a little? I wouldn't want the other guests to be disturbed." They looked at him blankly. He shrugged sheepishly, stepping out.
"Carry on." The door closed behind him.
Inu-Yasha leapt off of Kagome as fast as humanly, well, demonly, possible.
"I'm gonna wring Shippo's scrawny neck!" Inu-Yasha yelled, clenching his fists in fury.
Kagome's face was burning with embarrassment. It reminded her far too much of that incident in the village when Kaede told the children to avert their eyes because she thought they were… She preferred not to think about it. For awhile, there was silence. Both were deep in thought. Well, admittedly, Kagome's thoughts were a lot deeper. Inu-Yasha was thinking about ramen and pounding Shippo's head into the ground.
"Inu-Yasha…" she began cautiously. "Do you ever think about the future?"
"What do you mean?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow.
"Well, our quest won't continue indefinitely. Someday, it's going to be us or Naraku. What do you think you'll do after that?"
"I don't know. What can I do? Once I've avenged Kikyo, I don't know what I'll do with my life."
"Are you still planning on going to hell with her?" Kagome asked bitterly.
"Kagome, you just don't understand. Kikyo died because of me. She should still be alive. Because of me, she died tragically. Once I kill Naraku, I'm at Kikyo's disposal. If she wants me to go to hell with her… well, I can only respect her wishes."
"But what if she doesn't want you to?" Kagome asked, holding on to that thin thread of hope.
"I dunno. I always figured I'd be dead by now, so I haven't given it much thought. I live one day at a time. I always think that today will be my last day, so the future never really comes to mind."
"Well, have you thought about where you'd live?"
"I guess in Kaede's village. They're reasonable for humans. I could build a hut there and live comfortably. I don't know what I'd do for a living. Maybe I could just protect the village."
"You'd be good at that."
"There's not much else I could do. You don't see many half-demon blacksmiths or carpenters. I guess I could be a farmer, but plants infuriate me."
"I don't think you have the patience required to be a farmer…" Kagome agreed, picturing him yelling at the soil and stomping on it in frustration.
"Do you see yourself ever getting married or having a family?" Her face was flushed. She hoped he wouldn't notice, but she was sure he did. She wasn't sure why she'd asked him such a stupid, dangerous question. Maybe because it was so prevalent in her thoughts of the future.
"Kagome, how many women, demon or human, would be interested in me? I'm not either. I wouldn't fit in. I can't picture any father giving me permission to marry his daughter. I don't know if I could even be a decent husband or if I'd want to be. The closest I ever was to being married was when Kikyo was still alive. We always talked about getting married after I became a human… I don't think she would have been interested in being with a demon…"
"Inu-Yasha, I don't think you give yourself enough credit."
"What do you mean by that?"
"I'm sure that there has to be a woman out there, somewhere, who would love to be your wife. You're strong, brave, and loyal. You have a lot of admirable qualities."
"You really think so?"
"Yes. I really do." Plus, you're ridiculously good-looking and kind when you want to be.
Sometimes I wonder if the only woman in the world who would be good enough for me is sitting right next to me. He shook his head at that thought. Kagome had skool, her family, and that stupid Hobo. There was no way she would give up so much to be with a lowly half-breed. But always, when he thought about his future, even if the topic scarcely came to mind, he pictured Kagome there with him. A world without Kagome in it wouldn't be worth living in. He had realized that by now.
What could I possibly offer her? I don't even know how I feel about her. Not really. She deserves better. All I can do is enjoy her presence while it lasts.
"I'm sure there's someone out there for you, too." Inu-Yasha replied awkwardly, avoiding eye-contact.
It's me. I don't care what that witch said. She can't possibly marry that Hobo. He couldn't protect her! He doesn't look like he has ever handled a weapon in his life! Who would protect Kagome from evil demons? Who would take care of her and watch over her at night? Obviously not Hobo. He was obviously the better choice.
"Maybe." She answered, not sure how she felt about him referring to some unknown guy when the only man she'd ever wanted was sitting right next to her.
He gently placed a hand on top of her own.
"I know there is." She couldn't help but smile at his sincerity.
Inu-Yasha… He was looking at her with that strange look in his eyes. She wasn't sure what to think when suddenly…
"I wonder where our dinner is?" he mused aloud.
Some deep thinker he is… Kagome sweat-dropped in exasperation.
"I think that they think we're otherwise occupied. They probably think we're too busy for dinner."
"Oh." Inu-Yasha's face matched his fire rat robes.
"Well do you have any of that ninja food?"
"Yeah. I think I have some potato chips left," she replied, fetching her big yellow backpack and digging through it to find her object of desire.
"Here you go!" She brightly handed him the bag which he immediately tore into.
After a couple of minutes, with a mouth full of chips, he asked, "Do you want some?"
"No thanks."
I just lost my appetite. He may be a dog demon, but he eats like a pig.
After finishing his prize, Inu-Yasha and Kagome quietly talked about shard rumors and argued over when Kagome could go home. Soon, it was late. Kagome yawned loudly and Inu-Yasha took the hint.
"You need to go to sleep."
"But I'm not tired, Inu-Yasha…" She stifled another yawn and he gave her an ironic look.
"'I'm not tired!'" He mimicked Kagome.
"Get on the futon, Kagome."
"Not with you!" she protested, blushing, a very common occurrence that evening.
"Stupid girl, I never said with me! You get it all to yourself. Now get some sleep!" He leaned against the well as Kagome drew the covers over herself and began to slumber.
"Dumb wench…" Inu-Yasha observed, looking at Kagome sleeping peacefully.
"You could sleep through anything couldn't you?" He approached the side of her bed and began to make obnoxious faces and noises at her.
"SIT, Kagome!" He mimicked and continued on in his fun, judging how deep a sleeper she was.
"Hmm… Inu-Yasha…" She mumbled in her sleep, rolling over.
"Is she dreaming about me again? Last time this didn't end well…" He remembered well the painful sit he had received the last time he heard Kagome talking in her sleep. He decided to try to get to sleep and started heading back to the other side of the room. Unfortunately, he was prevented from doing this. He couldn't figure out why he didn't seem to be making any progress forward when he looked down and saw a small, white hand clutching the sleeve of his jacket.
"Mmm… Stay…" She mumbled. Inu-Yasha decided Kagome was definitely at her weirdest when she was sleeping. He tried to pull away from her, but to no avail. She had a surprisingly strong grip.
"Alright, alright. I'll 'stay,' I just won't 'sit.' You've managed to teach me one trick…" He muttered, returning to her side. He lay down cautiously beside her, wary of a painful reprimand for taking too many liberties with her. He studied her form carefully. She looked so beautiful and peaceful when she was sleeping. So calm and free of worries. She had no tests to take, no monsters to fight, and usually, no pushy half-demon to argue with in her dreams.
"It should always be like this for you, Kagome. I don't know why I let you stay here. It's too dangerous for you. If you died, I don't know what I'd do. What have you done to me? I used to not care about anyone until I met you." He tucked a strand of jet black hair behind her ear. Strangely enough, she smiled, even in her sleep. Kagome was the happiest, most optimistic person he'd ever met. Sometimes, it was sickening, but he knew her heart was in the right place.
He knew her sleeping form very well indeed. On nights when he didn't feel comfortable with their location, he often didn't sleep at all. He kept one eye on his surroundings and the other… well, honestly the other was always on Kagome, sometimes he let his guard down to let both eyes enjoy the view. He always defended himself for this observation. Of course, he was making sure that the troublesome girl hadn't gotten herself kidnapped or wandered off into the demon-infested forest in the middle of the night. Unfortunately, every one (except Kagome) knew he was just admiring her. If possible, the moonlight reflecting off her pale skin made her even lovelier. Sometimes, if he was sure the damn monk, demon slayer, and fox demon were asleep, he'd leap down from his tree and lay down next to Kagome. He loved to listen to her soft breathing and watch the expressions that flitted across her face as she dreamed. She was much easier to get along with when she was asleep.
"What am I going to do if you decide to remain in your era once we've defeated Naraku?"
He supposed he could stay in her time, but he wasn't sure if his super-sensitive senses, or his patience for that matter, could handle it. Kagome's time was safer, but it lacked the majestic forests, clean air, and peaceful silence of the Feudal Era. He just couldn't imagine not being with Kagome. A week of separation was bad enough, how could he handle a lifetime? Especially the extended lifetime of a half-demon! He knew he wouldn't live as long as his full-demon brother, Sesshoumaru, but Inu-Yasha knew that unless he met a foe he couldn't defeat, he would live for many centuries to come. How could he face hundreds of years without Kagome? Without her smiles, her laughter, her love…? (If you could call the feelings she had for him love. He was never quite sure how Kagome felt about him.)
"I'll miss you. You know that, don't you?" He whispered softly. He was glad she couldn't hear him. He was getting downright mushy. Yuck. He lay back down, trying to close his eyes and rest.
Suddenly, he felt Kagome shifting. She wrapped her arms around his torso and pulled him towards her, resting her head against his chest.
"Mine," she whispered, clutching at his robes with her fingers. He hoped he could untangle them before she woke up. This would not be easy to explain. For right now, she seemed unwilling to let go. Personally, he was fine with it. It actually felt kind of nice, having Kagome so near to him. What could he do? Women were strange creatures. He cautiously wrapped his arms around her, hoping she wouldn't kill him in the morning.
You're mine, too, Kagome…
God only knew how long he could stay with her. He couldn't predict if and when he'd be killed in battle. He couldn't tell if and when Kikyo would come to claim his soul. All he had was the present. Perhaps that's why he so seldom thought of the future. It was riddled with uncertainty. As much as he wanted to stay like this, forever, he knew tomorrow loomed on the horizon, bringing with it new challenges. Even though Kagome would probably sit him into hell in the morning, he decided to enjoy this moment while it lasted. He allowed sleep to claim him. A certain raven-haired girl filled his dreams. Inu-Yasha, fell asleep smiling.
A/N: I apologize to those of you who were hoping they'd get intimate. That's just not how I see their relationship. I think there is definitely some sexual tension, but I don't think that is how they'd resolve it. They're two very shy, very naïve teenagers. Neither of them has had much experience with relationships, so its makes sense that they're not sure what to make of their relationship. This is just my interpretation. To each his own. And yes, I realize that Inu-Yasha said some pretty sappy things. My theory is that Inu-Yasha is a bit more sensitive than he usually appears. When we get to hear his thoughts or when he's by himself (or thinks he's by himself) in the show or when he's alone with Kagome he seems to be a lot more emotional and say things differently. Right now, he's still unsure about his feelings. His heart tells him that he loves Kagome, but his brain hasn't caught up yet. He's pretty stubborn, after all. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and don't mind the way I depict things. Please review! I would love to see review alerts pop up in my inbox when I get back from Wisconsin next week! Thanks!
Edited 03/29/08