Chapter 50: Angst and Chocolate Ice Cream

"So, he said that the two of you will never be more than friends." Monique observed. Kim nodded.

The two girls were seated in the Possibles' Kitchen, attacking a quart of chocolate-chocolate chip ice cream. Kim, being in a serious funk, was rather more aggressive in her attack than was her best female friend. Shortly after her discussion with Ron, the boy had drifted off again. Ron's battered, medicated body simply couldn't sustain a long bout of emotional conversation. Kim hadn't been so lucky. She had found a lavatory and shocked herself by crying harder than she had ever remembered.

She had made herself presentable and ducked out through a Boiler Room exit. (The staff had given her access so that she could avoid the growing swarm of reporters and cameramen hovering around the better known exits.) After catching a bus home, she had instituted the tried and true teenaged girl method of dealing with sorrow: a close friend and junk food. Once Monique had arrived, Kim had sobbed out an almost verbatim recount of her conversation with Ron, prompting Monique's question.

"Let me guess," Monique followed up. "The fact that your eyes are red and you're stuffing your face with chocolate ice cream means that you want to be more than friends with him?" Kim nodded again.

"Why?" Monique's question brought Kim up short.

"What?" Kim paused with a spoon halfway to her mouth.

"It's a simple question, girlfriend, why do you want to date him?"

Kim planted the spoonful of ice cream in her mouth and thought while chewing. "He's always been there for me. Look at everything we've gone through together! We're so close that I-I just can't think of my life without him in it."

Monique nodded. "Three reasons, girlfriend, and those three could be used to argue why you should stay just friends. So tell me, why do you want to start dating now?"

Kim thought some more. "Well, it just feels right…Okay, I realized that I love the guy! Are you happy?"

Monique favored Kim with a small smile. "Not completely happy, no. By the way, I caught some news just after you called me. They had some more live coverage at the hospital and I saw that Japanese girl, Yori, going in the door. I bet she was heading in to visit Ron."

Kim's spoon clattered into her bowl and her eyes snapped open. "You're kidding!" The redhead blurted out, jumping to her feet.

"Yes, I am," Monique confessed.

Kim stood confused for several seconds before returning to her seat. "I suppose you're about to tell me why you did that."

"Yup," Monique informed her, scooping up another spoonful. "I just gave you a tiny glimpse from Ron's point of view. Didn't he say that you brush him off when special guys show up?" Kim nodded. "Well, you just got an idea of what it's like when a special girl shows up too see Ron! Didn't much care for it, did you?"

Kim looked like she was ready to argue, but then dug up another spoonful of ice cream. "No, I didn't," she admitted.

Monique nodded. "Now think of this. Ron's never brushed you off to be with Yori or Sue, has he?"

Kim's shoulders slumped. "No," she admitted again.

Monique set her spoon down and looked her best bud right in the eye. "That's why this was a tiny look into Ron's mind. First of all, Ron knows that he doesn't have the great looks to catch your eye. He knows that you're a lot more attractive to boys than he is to girls and he knows that a hot guy will spin your head around. You've proven it to him."

Kim just nodded again and ate some more ice cream.

"And you're wondering why he doesn't want to go past being friends?" Monique shook her head. "Girl, you are so lucky that he didn't wash his hands of you after that closet incident, at least for a little while. If you had done that to me, we wouldn't have spoken for at least a month!"

"That was an accident!" Kim's voice was quivering again, but Monique knew she had to make her point.

"I agree with Ron on this one," she told Kim "The fact that he got locked in was the accident, and it was trivial. The important thing is that when Josh appeared, you risked twelve plus years of friendship and shoved him out of the picture without a second thought. That was no accident, was it?"

Kim's eyes misted up and she shook her head.

"So," Monique bored in. "Put yourself in Ron's place. He's admitted to being in love with you. He's honest enough to realize that if you two ever went beyond bff's, and if you were to dump him for another guy, he might not be able to go back to being friends. Now let's say you do start dating. What happens in September when we go back for Senior year and there's a new guy, who happens to be tall, tan, cute, built like Adonis and interested in you?"

"Monique!" Kim protested, "do you really think I'm that shallow? I'm not about to drop a boyfriend over someone I've just met!"

"You dropped your best friend of over twelve years." Monique countered. "Your track record in that department isn't very good with him right now."

Kim glared at Monique for several endless seconds before dropping her spoon into her bowl, bracing her elbows on the table, and dropping her face into her hands. "God, why does he put up with me?"

"That's easy," Monique answered. "He loves you, he said it himself. The question is, do you want to risk what you've got with him right now, to take it to the next level?"

"I guess I hadn't really thought it over." Kim admitted. "Back in the Electrical Room, and in his ICU Room, I was really close to…well…"

"Sealing the deal with some tonsil-hockey?" Monique asked. Kim nodded.

"Well, I'm glad you've admitted that you hadn't really thought about it much, you know what that means?"

Kim showed a rueful grin. "I'm in rebound?" Monique nodded. "For how long?" Kim asked.

"Until Ron's ready to do missions again and I've had my date with him," Monique declared.

"Oh, isn't that convenient," Kim grumbled.

" A date doesn't mean dating," Monique informed Kim. "He asked me out and I've taken him up on it. One more thing, since I've got to be heading home now, are you going to drop by and see him before school tomorrow?"

"I don't know, Monique," Kim murmured. "I don't know if I can face him after…that talk."

Monique placed her bowl in the sink. "You said yourself that you're one of the few people that security will let in to see him. I'm willing to bet that when he wakes up, he's going to be just as shook up about this as you are right now. I wonder how he's going to be feeling if he doesn't see a familiar face for the better part of a day?"

That brought Kim up short.

Monique looked at Kim with a very serious expression. "He poured his heart out to you tonight. If you don't visit him, how do you think he'll be feeling about you? For what it's worth, I've been pulling for you and him to get together since Christmas. But after you just dropped him over a conversation with Bonnie, then shut him out for the new guy…" Monique shook her head. "Anyway, girl, you've got a lot of thinking to do. Just remember, no working on him until after rebound"

With that Monique was out the door, leaving Kim with some serious thinking. Fortunately for Kim, Mrs. Dr. P returned home shortly after Monique left. The female Doctor Possible had just poured herself a cup of coffee and settled into the breakfast nook when Kim plopped the ice cream and an empty bowl in front of her. Dr. Anne Possible knew that this meant some serious talk with her daughter was about to commence.

"Mom," Kim began, looking down at her ice cream bowl and then up to her mother's eyes. "Am I shallow?" Her voice was very weak.

Dr. Possible thought that one over for a few minutes before answering. "That's not a question with a straight answer, Kimmie," she said. "You, like everyone else, have done some shallow and selfish things. I don't think that I could call you shallow because of it…" She paused, "what brings this up?"

Kim visibly composed herself and repeated her conversation with Ron for the second time that night. She then repeated her conversation with Monique. Mrs. Dr. P reached for a spoon and dug in.

"Before we say anything else," the elder of the Possible women informed her daughter. "I agree with Monique about you being in rebound. You have a lot of strong emotions running rampant right now, Kimmie, so this isn't a wise time to be modifying friendships. Stepping back, at least until Ronald is back on his feet, is a very good idea." She paused and gave her daughter a sad smile. "I've been pulling for you and Ronald to get together for over a year now. To be honest, I was very disappointed with you for dropping him like you did."

"Okay, mom, I can accept that, but …am I shallow and selfish?"

Anne Possible took a few moments to collect her thoughts before addressing her daughter. "Well, first of all, you do tend to base a lot of your opinions on appearances and you assume that everyone around you does the same. This is a rather shallow trait."

"Drakken was right about me?" Kim's eyes were very wide.

Dr. Possible shook her head. "Drew was correct with some items, but not all of them. You do have a few…habits…that can seem shallow. The most obvious one is your fixation with appearance and first impressions. You admitted yourself that you were ready to establish a…romantic relationship with Ronald before your conversation with Bonnie. Yet when Eric showed up, you jumped right in without a second thought. That is a very shallow action."

"Is there anything else?" Kim asked. She was clearly dreading the answer.

Anne Possible looked at her daughter. This is as good a time for the truth as ever. "You have some other…shallow…tendencies. Consider where Drew was correct. You do seek out public attention. Remember the choice you had to make between extracurricular activities when you were in Middle school?"

"I chose cheerleading over gymnastics." Kim recalled.

Anne nodded. "Despite the fact that gymnastics would have probably been a better fit with your kung fu than cheerleading. You chose cheerleading because it was more visible and more of your peers could see you participate." Anne looked her daughter up and down. "You also wear fashions that make it obvious to everyone that you're an attractive, athletic girl."

"So, I'm an attention hog?" Kim asked.

"I don't think that's the case, Kimmie. An attention hog just wants attention, and a lot of it. You want recognition and approval. In and of itself, there's nothing wrong with that, but couple it with your competitiveness and a clever man, like Drew, can take advantage of it."

"So I should quit competing and dress more modestly?" Kim asked with a puzzled look.

"I said nothing of the sort." Her mother corrected her. "Although I'm sure your father would agree with the last part." The two shared a smile. "No, Kimmie, you are what you are. There's no reason to make major changes, just accept the negative aspects of your character and compensate for them."

Kim flashed a pained smile. "When the hottie shows up, count to ten?"

Anne returned her daughter's smile. "Good advice." Anne's expression grew contemplative. "This is one of the areas where Ronald has an advantage over you."

"How is that?" Kim looked confused.

"Your flaws, or weaknesses." Anne explained. "Ronald's flaws are very obvious, he's lazy, insecure and unmotivated. Because they are so obvious he's been forced to deal with them. You even said yourself that he had really stepped up over the course of this school year." Kim nodded in agreement. "Your weaknesses are more subtle. You're a little too proud, a little too competitive, a little too concerned with your image and a little too taken in by appearance and first impressions. Because these flaws aren't very obvious, you haven't been burned by them before, or at least not badly." The elder Possible woman smiled at her daughter. "Bonnie seems to know them; that's why she's been able to get to you so easily."

Kim's eyes suddenly flew open. "That's why Drakken's scheme didn't work on Ron! Drakken didn't actually study Ron; he just hit Ron with a female version of his scheme for me. Ron didn't want a 'statement' girl to go to the prom with him; he just wanted someone he was comfortable with. He didn't care about the other guys' envying him. As long as he and his date enjoyed themselves, he was content!" Kim's expression fell again and she looked down at the floor. "So when the hottie showed up and started to hit on him, he was able to come back to his senses and quit chasing her, unlike me."

Ann looked at her daughter again. It wasn't going to be easy, but it was necessary. She took another deep breath and continued. "There's another half to the 'chase the hottie and ignore Ronald' issue, you know."

Kim looked up, puzzled for a moment, and then dropped her face in her hands. "I know, ignoring Ron. How could I have been so blind about him? How could I have taken him for granted so badly?" Teardrops started to fall again.

"It's partially Ronald's fault, Kimmie." Her mother explained.

Kim's face snapped back up. "What?"

Anne shook her head and smiled, sadly. "Part of the problem is that Ronald has been such a good friend. The term 'low maintenance' doesn't do him justice. You've always been able to be yourself around him. He's always supported you, completely, without any effort on your part. That sort of thing can make you take him for granted."

Kim still looked confused, so Anne continued. "Take that incident when you locked him in the closet. Because it was Ronald, you didn't even have to apologize; he just sulked for a little while then went right back to being your friend. If he had confronted you with it, and you had been forced to apologize to him, you might have appreciated his friendship more after putting in effort to maintain it."

Kim looked up with a self-mocking grin. "Sort of like my laundry? I don't appreciate it being clean because I never have to wash it?"

Anne's smile was genuine. "Exactly like that."

Kim grew serious. "So what do I do about Ron? I won't bring up the dating issue with him, but I still want him to know that I care about him. I still want to help him."

Anne was truly pleased with her daughter. "Be his friend! Visit him, talk to him. Bring his school assignments to him and take his homework to his teachers for him. Sneak junk-food into the hospital for him." Anne paused and looked side to side, in a conspiratorial manor, "don't tell anybody I suggested that last one."

Kim smiled, completely happy for the first time that evening. I can do that. I can be his friend. And after we get him back on his feet, who knows?

A/N

Thanks for waiting. Thanks again to Joe Stoppinghem for Beta reading.

daccu65